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Old 11-16-2009, 08:21 PM   #1
Sweet_Pea
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Talking I love to Laugh!!!

This will be my FIRST thread i have started ever, So i was thinking i love to laugh and id like to hear jokes or see what makes yall laugh!!! Ill show you one of mine:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUmYGLIubho"]YouTube- Kid's Cartoons - Dave Chappelle[/ame]

They says laughter heals all wounds! Lets get some healing going!
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Old 11-17-2009, 04:32 AM   #2
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I love to watch my small zoo of dogs and cats play with each other. To see the little spaniel chase the big shepard around and then seeing them look at me and smile. Awesome. The cats streaking through the house chasing shiny brites and hatching their "eggs".
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Old 11-17-2009, 07:19 AM   #3
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try to imagine this

you are sound asleep in a nice warm comfy bed.. you vaguely feel something bump against your hand several times... you rollover and drift back to sleep.. all of a sudden your hear this horrible noise and a solid thump on your forehead... you wake up to see your roommates cat meowing at you and head butting you... because you were silly and left your hands out of the covers.. so they must be there to pet the lil sh*t... you look at the clock and it happens to only be 2am... dont you just want to scream?? I know I do when he does this to me.. practicaly every night... and I go to sleep with my hands under the covers.. but they come out most likely because I am hot.. grrr well I hope my lil experience makes you laugh.. it seems to make everyone else laugh..

chow for now
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:15 PM   #4
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Wink

Those are both very funny! I am dog sitting right now for my cousin and her dog happens to be a "licker." So i am awaken at various times of the night in various stages of sleep with a pretty darn rough lick across my face or forehead. LOL!
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:25 PM   #5
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Samuel arrives to Heaven, is told he can return to his wife and kids, but not in Human form..
He says ok send me back as a Bird, my Family can benefit from my use there.
He's sent back, as the most Beautiful Hen in the Coop..
His family was very proud of the Hen, however the other hens within the Coop were envious..
One approached and said "If you're so good, why haven't you laid any eggs?"
Boggled by this, the beautiful Hen struggled real hard to Squat, and out came a beautiful brown egg...
"Beginners Luck..Try another" clucked the other Hen..
Harder yet in struggling to produce another egg, pushing and pushin..
He suddenly felt a hand shaking him awake..
"Samuel wake up...Wake up damnit...You're shitting on the bed!!"
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Old 11-19-2009, 07:23 PM   #6
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Default Thoreau Family Thanksgiving Greeting

Today I sent out this card out to our friends and family


Dear Family and Friends,
Once again,
it is that time of year
The Thoreau Family gathers around the table
and contemplates
the true meaning of Thanksgiving.



It is not so much about the turkey…




As it is the realization that…

If the Native Americans had given the
Pilgrims a Donkey instead of aTurkey...


all of us would be getting a piece of ass on Thanksgiving.

With love,

The Thoreau Family

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Old 11-19-2009, 08:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rook View Post
Samuel arrives to Heaven, is told he can return to his wife and kids, but not in Human form..
He says ok send me back as a Bird, my Family can benefit from my use there.
He's sent back, as the most Beautiful Hen in the Coop..
His family was very proud of the Hen, however the other hens within the Coop were envious..
One approached and said "If you're so good, why haven't you laid any eggs?"
Boggled by this, the beautiful Hen struggled real hard to Squat, and out came a beautiful brown egg...
"Beginners Luck..Try another" clucked the other Hen..
Harder yet in struggling to produce another egg, pushing and pushin..
He suddenly felt a hand shaking him awake..
"Samuel wake up...Wake up damnit...You're shitting on the bed!!"
O M G ! ! !

I think I peed a little
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Old 11-19-2009, 08:12 PM   #8
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Default

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's

and shyly walked up to

the woman behind the counter and said,

'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '

' What type of bra?'

asked the clerk.


'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,'

said the saleslady,

as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour

and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'

Relieved, the man asked

about the types.

The saleslady replied:

'There are the Catholic,

the Salvation Army,

the Presbyterian,

and the Baptist types.

Which one would you prefer?'


Now totally befuddled,

the man asked about

the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded,

'It is all really quite simple.


The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.'

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Old 11-20-2009, 02:48 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rook View Post
Samuel arrives to Heaven, is told he can return to his wife and kids, but not in Human form..
He says ok send me back as a Bird, my Family can benefit from my use there.
He's sent back, as the most Beautiful Hen in the Coop..
His family was very proud of the Hen, however the other hens within the Coop were envious..
One approached and said "If you're so good, why haven't you laid any eggs?"
Boggled by this, the beautiful Hen struggled real hard to Squat, and out came a beautiful brown egg...
"Beginners Luck..Try another" clucked the other Hen..
Harder yet in struggling to produce another egg, pushing and pushin..
He suddenly felt a hand shaking him awake..
"Samuel wake up...Wake up damnit...You're shitting on the bed!!"
This made me laugh out loud, im gonna have to borrow this joke and tell it to my brothers, hahahaha.

Good one!
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Old 12-21-2019, 02:48 PM   #10
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Default Walmart commercial .........

I just saw it last night but perhaps it's been running in other markets.


As a woman is slipping her store bought pie on to a pie plate a cat looks up and gives her the "stink eye" to which she reply "You try baking a pie"!

The ending is almost as good, she doesn't say a word looking back at the cat but her face is saying "see they didn't even notice and YOU keep your mouth shut"!


I hope some casting agent sees this woman. She'd be great in movies!
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