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Old 01-20-2010, 09:18 PM   #41
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Your post is welcomed and accepted and I'd like to shake hands on it in our respect and words toward one another. Thanks.
Reciprocated.
Thank you.
On to Big Butch Appreciation!
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:32 PM   #42
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Old 01-20-2010, 11:19 PM   #43
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love and appreciation for butches of all size--providing they're lovely people on the inside.

the trouble i have with the thread resides only in the *name* of the thread because it seems to speak about/to/for people 'of size' and the tone and subsequent posts by the OP read more like: 'my sudden weight gain/my medical issue'.

rarely do 'big butches' find themselves in this kind of situation where they woke up one morning *fat* (speaking from my big-girl place), more than likely this has been a much longer road that we've navigated and it feels like, for me, someone is trying to facilitate from his place of 'recent weight gain' the *life* we've spent a lifetime *living* (which, generally speaking, would be his *privileged place*)

which is not to say that the original questions aren't valid--i was just *expecting* a fat-butch-love-song (thread).

size matters.
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Old 01-20-2010, 11:44 PM   #44
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love and appreciation for butches of all size--providing they're lovely people on the inside.

the trouble i have with the thread resides only in the *name* of the thread because it seems to speak about/to/for people 'of size' and the tone and subsequent posts by the OP read more like: 'my sudden weight gain/my medical issue'.

rarely do 'big butches' find themselves in this kind of situation where they woke up one morning *fat* (speaking from my big-girl place), more than likely this has been a much longer road that we've navigated and it feels like, for me, someone is trying to facilitate from his place of 'recent weight gain' the *life* we've spent a lifetime *living* (which, generally speaking, would be his *privileged place*)

which is not to say that the original questions aren't valid--i was just *expecting* a fat-butch-love-song (thread).

size matters.
You're right, it took twists and turns on my part certainly, hopefully we're getting it straightened out.
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:26 PM   #45
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I can only hope that no Big people ever consider getting with someone
who wants to help them work on their weight or anything else that the other person deems worth fiximg.
Dude,

I have to say that this in and of itself is a single-viewed and insulting statement. I am coupled with TIMBERWOLF. Shi's a larger butch. I'm a larger femme. We're both diabetics. Shi'll tell you that I'm not perfect, but I'm a healthier eater than shi is.

When I do and say things to help hir change eating habits and lose weight, it's for the purpose of getting hir health in better order, so that I can love hir even more years. It's not based on a desire for hir to look better or behave differently, just to eat healthy to live longer.

If someone want's to change a partner for selfish reasons, I can say that you might be on track, but don't paint all of us with such broad brush strokes.

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P.S. I've dated someone who weighed far more than 100 pounds less than I, and our break-up had NOTHING to do with size. The woman she took-up with after me, was also a person of size, and fairly comparable to myself.

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Im a larger Butch and yes just like a lot of us , wish i weighted less then i do. I never seemed to have a problem finding a date/partner in my life, but I also prefer women with some meat on their bones. I have had partners that were skinnier than I, but prefer to have them around my wt.
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Honey,

I'll never be a super-model, so you know I'll always have some cushioning, but you've been trying to broaden your mind to consider and include more healthy alternatives, and I'm proud of you for that.

You realize that the only reason I want any changes, is so that I can have you in my life for the longest number of years possible.

Me
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Old 01-21-2010, 03:54 PM   #46
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I am a very heavy guy, and am working on keeping my lost weight off, and also loosing some more weight. I have diabetes (inheritated from my father and his side of the family), and have been helped out by White Tigress and Timber a great deal. I have a fatty liver, glaucoma, kidney disease, and some other seriously related diseases. I blame it all on hereditary diseases. Not so much on my weight.

I just couldn't grasp what the doctors and the educators were telling me. If Timber and White Tigress didn't help me, I know I would be on insulin now. Instead, I have come off pretty much most all of my diabetic pills now! My hat is off to those to forever and ever. They stuck by my side, and did everything from emailing me, pming me, calling me, and faxing me information, and got me on the right track. I will never be thin. I will be living a bit longer, I hope. The only reason will be because of what I am choosing to put in my mouth, keeping track of my meds, and staying in touch with my doctors.

I went to educational classes that once you are diagnosed with diabetes, you are encouraged to attend. There is no diet for diabetics, but the educators show you what to eat, how to eat, and how to break down the numerous diets that are out on the market today. I still cannot figure all of those. In turn, I eat what I want too. Obviously, I am not eating cookies, processed foods, or fast foods. But I am selecting healtier choices. I know Taco Bell is advertising a Drive Thru Diet. Then there is Jared who sponsors Subway. I am sponsored by Timber and White Tigress.

As for my younger days, I can remember how cruel adults were to me...being in gym class and being weighed in. My weight was called out for everyone to hear. I don't know if they still do it today. I hope not. That sure didn't help my self-esteem.

I also would love to buy clothes off the rack. I can't. I shop at Big & Tall shops. I also hit online stores like Casual Male XL, Kingsize Direct or Living XL.

When Rosie's niece got married last year, I wore a tux. We were photographed, and of course there were the remarks about my weight once the photographs of me came out. I was speechless. That wedding was such a wonderful time for everyone. Yes, I know I am fat. I don't need anyone to tell me that. It isn't like I don't know it. But to have someone look at me in a picture and then ask me when am I going on a diet? Sheesh. That just makes me cry. My entire life that is about all I have ever been told...gee you're fat. Well, no shit. Get over it.

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Old 01-21-2010, 06:11 PM   #47
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And Thank God I have WT in my life that helps me think about my choices. sure we both are diabetics,and yes I have CKD stage 4. Yes we both will eat things that maybe we shouldn't, but its a treat not a every day thing. She loves salads and i don't. I wish i did.I have decided to incorporate more fish into my diet and also more chicken. I have a lot of pork in the fridge that we cook up every once in a while. Im having red meat tonight. We don't eat red meat as much as I would like but i don't need it. As far as diets...........small meals.WT isn't changing me , she is helping me with what i eat, and no she doesn't yell at me for eating something, she doesn't talk about my wt because my wt goes up and down.My top wt was 281 when I was out trucking, its went down to 256, but im at 260 right now.
I had a ex wife that was skinny,and she would "pinch a inch" and think she was fat. I wonder what she thought of me even at 240 .
Nope Im comfortable with who and what i am and if someone doesn't like it they can eat dirt and die ...
TIMBER
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:13 PM   #48
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Just as a by the way, Timber, I was really not a salad fan until I found the right dressing. It's not my favorite, still, but it's way more bearable with the right something to slather on it.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:21 PM   #49
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I'm having salad tonight after my workout—I'm sick to death of them.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:28 PM   #50
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I LOVE salads, especially with lettuce and spinach, other goodies, and spicy asian peanut dressing from TJs

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Old 01-21-2010, 06:36 PM   #51
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I LOVE salads, especially with lettuce and spinach, other goodies, and spicy asian peanut dressing from TJs

Yup, that's the key for me: the goodies. Adding a variety of colors to spruce up the salad helps make it more appealing & tasty.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:49 PM   #52
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I agree, salads are great when you add healthy extras. It's like eating a buffet in a bowl.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:52 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.
As for my younger days, I can remember how cruel adults were to me...being in gym class and being weighed in. My weight was called out for everyone to hear. I don't know if they still do it today. I hope not. That sure didn't help my self-esteem.

When Rosie's niece got married last year, I wore a tux. We were photographed, and of course there were the remarks about my weight once the photographs of me came out. I was speechless. That wedding was such a wonderful time for everyone. Yes, I know I am fat. I don't need anyone to tell me that. It isn't like I don't know it. But to have someone look at me in a picture and then ask me when am I going on a diet? Sheesh. That just makes me cry. My entire life that is about all I have ever been told...gee you're fat. Well, no shit. Get over it.

Hi everyone,

Mainly I wanted to come in here and thank everyone for appreciating us bigger butches. We're often gonna derail threads of size because someone said something that didn't sit well with us, or the topic got thrown wayyyyyy off line for one reason or another but I think when it comes down to it we need to support one another and not bring each other down. Its hard enough being bigger without any of us bickering back and forth about words said or things being misconstrued. Ultimately I believe the bottom line is whatever our situation is, no matter what the reason may be as to why we are overweight or what we are doing to change said situation, we need to support one another

I quoted part of Andrew's post above because so much of it resonates with Me. I remember going to gm class during school and being so afraid to change in the change room with the rest of the girls that I would change in the washrooms instead just to avoid the finger pointing, stares and name calling. They never weighed us (thank goodness) but I always remember how often I would skip gym just so that I didn't have to change into shorts and a t-shirt to run around in front of My fellow classmates. That whole part of My life really played a huge part in how truly crappy My self-esteem has always been, and still continues to be today.

I've had pictures taken of Myself as well at various functions and been told that I'm overweight/fat etc. I wonder if they ever stop to think that I live with that fact every single day of My life, and that I really dont need to be reminded of it at every turn. I'm constantly being told how overweight I am, how I'll never find anyone who will love Me or want Me due to My weight, blah blah blah .......... it really just pisses Me off. Yes I'm fat but if your going to call Me out on it doesn't that just mean that your mouth is fatter than My entire body? My father, other members of My family and people in general like to get on My case about My being overweight but they never stop to think about how their words affect Me.

I'm here and I'm fat, I take up space and I'm in your face ~ learn to deal with it people!!!!!!!
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Old 01-21-2010, 07:31 PM   #54
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Hi everyone,

Mainly I wanted to come in here and thank everyone for appreciating us bigger butches. We're often gonna derail threads of size because someone said something that didn't sit well with us, or the topic got thrown wayyyyyy off line for one reason or another but I think when it comes down to it we need to support one another and not bring each other down. Its hard enough being bigger without any of us bickering back and forth about words said or things being misconstrued. Ultimately I believe the bottom line is whatever our situation is, no matter what the reason may be as to why we are overweight or what we are doing to change said situation, we need to support one another

I quoted part of Andrew's post above because so much of it resonates with Me. I remember going to gm class during school and being so afraid to change in the change room with the rest of the girls that I would change in the washrooms instead just to avoid the finger pointing, stares and name calling. They never weighed us (thank goodness) but I always remember how often I would skip gym just so that I didn't have to change into shorts and a t-shirt to run around in front of My fellow classmates. That whole part of My life really played a huge part in how truly crappy My self-esteem has always been, and still continues to be today.

I've had pictures taken of Myself as well at various functions and been told that I'm overweight/fat etc. I wonder if they ever stop to think that I live with that fact every single day of My life, and that I really dont need to be reminded of it at every turn. I'm constantly being told how overweight I am, how I'll never find anyone who will love Me or want Me due to My weight, blah blah blah .......... it really just pisses Me off. Yes I'm fat but if your going to call Me out on it doesn't that just mean that your mouth is fatter than My entire body? My father, other members of My family and people in general like to get on My case about My being overweight but they never stop to think about how their words affect Me.

I'm here and I'm fat, I take up space and I'm in your face ~ learn to deal with it people!!!!!!!
Great post Braedon; a lot of courage to share your experiences in here. Thanks for coming in and know that you're appreciated here. I'm not saying that to turn this thread around, I'm saying from me personally to you..
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Old 01-21-2010, 08:54 PM   #55
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I have read through this thread, and although I am not a large person, I so totally understand the teasing and lack of self-esteem issues. Growing up, I was the only gay, the only native looking one, the only one who was different. I wasn't the cookie cutter high school girl. I rode dirt bikes, dressed in overalls, didn't give one good shit what you thought and would tell you so in a New York minute. And I caught hell for it. Got the shit kicked out of me more times than I can tell you about. But you know what? It didn't change me one fucking bit. I still skate that friggin' jagged edge, and could care less what anyone thinks about it.

And, you know what? These days, I am thankful for it. Cause I grew up tough, and I take no shit. Scars. You bet your ass I got em. Inside and out. But, it has never made me less than I am, no matter what I look like. Big, small, who the hell cares. We all carry our own load. The trick is to carry YOUR OWN, not what someone else throws on your stack. If you feel good, physically, and your doctor is telling you go are good to go, then you are good to go. If your doctor is telling you something else, put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Pain in the ass, sure. But, are you worth eating salads?

I mean, think about it. If you go to the doctor, and they tell you to eat a strict diet, are YOU worth it? Is it something out of the relm of possibility? So, I know, crusing through the drive-thru at McDonalds is handy and all, but, hey, they serve salads too. I was heavy at one time in my life, I got that way driving long haul trucking, sitting on my butt doing nothing but holding the wheel and it came down to changing how I lived. Totally. I came to understand that I WAS worth the pain in the ass it took to change. Once I got used to what it took, I just stuck with it.

Anyhow, I feel you all. I hope I didn't piss anyone off, but, if I did, it wasn't on purpose. I just think you all can be whatever you see yourself being. And if that is heavy, so be it. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, then fuck anyone who says different.

That would be my two cents.
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:28 PM   #56
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Great post Braedon; a lot of courage to share your experiences in here. Thanks for coming in and know that you're appreciated here. I'm not saying that to turn this thread around, I'm saying from me personally to you..

Thank you My friend, I appreciate you as well bud
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Old 01-22-2010, 12:57 PM   #57
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The weight thingy is a pain to deal with in so many ways I would like to just tell ppl to get over the issue and deal with it in constructive ways insted of all the negative bs that we deal with.I wasnt always a big guy,untill ten years ago I kept my weight somewhere about 165 sometimes I would get a ten pound up in the winter but not much more.Back then I was doing some really hard physical work on a daily basics..then I had an acdent and hurt my back.I went from being insanely busiey to flat on my back in a traction for a while..the meds I was on as well as being inactive,oh hell I blew up like a baloon.To say over the years I have played a bad game of roulett with the injury cause I wont have back surgery cause 99% of the time it dose more harm than good.Last spring I near fell out when the scale said 218...no,no,no says I not an ounce more if I have to wire my mouth shut and drink from a straw.I got it down to 249,but being I quit smokeing dureing the fall right before the hollidays I gained back ten pounds,grrrrr.Really going back to being thin has never been my goal,geting healthy is.I accept the fact that im going to be chunky for the rest of my life but need to be healthy about it.
To those folks who gripe at us big guys for our weight all I have to say is...becareful cause they can easly be right where we are before they know it,when and if thet happends I do hope they remember how they treated others..bad karma is a bitch.
Rockin
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:29 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selenay View Post
Just as a by the way, Timber, I was really not a salad fan until I found the right dressing. It's not my favorite, still, but it's way more bearable with the right something to slather on it.
Actually WT has found that its the green taste and smell that I don't like. I think it taste like dirt myself, but I have eaten a couple of salads in my life at company party's at really nice restaurants . I love this buttermilk ranch that WT makes and it tastes a lot like Denny's Ranch.I think it was butter lettuce or something like that i liked.
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:10 AM   #59
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Yesterday I had a 10 yo little boy come up to me in my doctor's office and say to me "gee you're fat". There was dead silence in the room. Most were reading magazines, and really not paying any attention to the children there. However, when he said this...everyone looked up. The mother did not move or say a word. I said yes, I am. And what you just said was very rude. Who is your mother? Well, that got things rolling. The mother thought she was going to start an argument with me over her child being nasty in public. I was not about to let it go. Eventually, three other adults got involved in this heated chat (lets call it that), and she and her kids left. Funny isn't it how kids follow adults lead? I just wonder about civility anymore. It seems to have gone way side anymore.
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:40 AM   #60
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it's not a child's fault for making a comment that he probably hears at home. a simple, 'it's inappropriate/it's hurtful to make that kind of comment.' and *not reacting* like your whole world fell apart would be better than a huge confrontation.

or, you could just tell the kid, 'NO YOU'RE FAT!' because as adults we get to win this argument being louder and taller, FINALLY!
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