Neurodiversity

[Jess]

Hmm.. I scored a 26.. the only thing that didn't apply was the movie question. I tend to like mystery and suspense and often they have a good deal of violence.

I'm not really getting the whole crux of the HSP issue. I will continue reading more about it. I think that yes, sometimes I am hindered in social settings because of feeling "overwhelmed".

How does this play out for other folks who may be HSP? Can it be debilitating? Genuinely interested. Thank you.

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by Jess

Hmm.. I scored a 26.. the only thing that didn't apply was the movie question. I tend to like mystery and suspense and often they have a good deal of violence.

I'm not really getting the whole crux of the HSP issue. I will continue reading more about it. I think that yes, sometimes I am hindered in social settings because of feeling "overwhelmed".

How does this play out for other folks who may be HSP? Can it be debilitating? Genuinely interested. Thank you.

HSP can outwardly look like Aspergers, especially in children. The S, sensitive doesn't necessarily mean that a person is sensitive like caring/nice sensitive. It is more about being very sensitive to stimulus that is coming in from the outside world through all 5 senses and how you process it.

HSP can be intoverts or extroverts

[Jess]

Thanks. I'll keep reading

[violaine]

[QUOTE=urs;30094]Lovely Belle! xx

It doesn't exactly encourage one to strive to appear "normal" in order to fit in, does it? Though I can, and do... it makes me so tired, I wonder if it's worth maintaining. I mean really, the bottom line is that we do it so that the average person isn't made to feel uncomfortable, right? Not that I resally want to make anyone feel uncomfortable but - why is it always me that has to end up paying for it?

major fatigue- agreed ! plus, i don't feel as if i "have" something "wrong" - i just am... differently wired...

interesting take on " are you neurotypical"? = scroll 3/4 way down page:

http://www.corante.com/brainwaves/ar...urotypical.php

taken from -

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html

[violaine]

page 69, Effort & Attention-

keith: "i like the physical contact, not in a definable sense. i just enjoy it. also, what touching offers is the chance to be close without needing to articulate it. surely not everything has to be spoken about and analysed to death. just a held hand or a spoon in the night says a lot..."


http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781843105404

[Bit]

Gryph and I ordered The Highly Sensitive Person and Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person (two different authors). I found them at Borders online--received an unexpected gift certificate at just the right time--and they just arrived.

These self tests are beginning to scare me; I just scored 30 out of 31 on the one in the beginning of Making Work Work... then I noticed it's one of those where you rate each question either zero, 5 or 10 points. Going that way, I scored 300 out of 310. The only question I didn't answer "high" for was the one about other people calling me "intense" but hey... if by every other measure I'm so high on the scale, why aren't people calling me intense? *wry look*

So I'm thinking that a HSP could be someone with Aspergers as well, but if the two coincide, it must make things so very difficult!

Ursy and Belle talked about the effort of fitting in, of not making the people around them uncomfortable. This is something that I struggle with also. Sometimes I wonder just how I made it this far; but then the next logical question, "and what would happen if I stopped trying so hard anyway?" reminds me that I learned the hard way that I have to fit in or people get pretty angry with me, and then they go away. Ooops. Not what I want at all.... but yes, sometimes I do wonder why all the effort has to be mine, and why other people can't make allowances for me sometimes.

One of the things I adore about Gryph is that he has never ever once chastised me for being "too sensitive" nor ever once said those hated words, "grow a thicker skin." Too much information comes in, yes, and it does sometimes cause emotional overloads or a need to hide from everyone and everything--but he cherishes me for the sensitivity anyway. We each try to give the other the space we need to cope with the world.

Anyhow, thank you Ami for telling us about the book. I think it'll help a lot, and I'm glad to understand why we all have so much in common.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I'm a Aspi, and I feel like a misfit.

[violaine]

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

hugs to you, andrew

[christie]

Originally Posted by violaine

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

hugs to you, andrew

My son attends a special needs HS in Nashville. I can say that its been really important for his social development to be around "peers" as opposed to being in mainstream where he felt so very out of place.

I also think that its been good for him to see that different truly is ok. That even differently abled doesnt have the same definition for everyone.

We are so very fortunate that he is such a great young man. I remember what I was like at 16 - and trust me, if the worst thing he has going is that he doesn't like to take a shower, well, I will take stanky over the other things anyday! LOL

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by violaine

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

I don't, but my daughter Bek has found her twin - who is also an aspie, and loves - ok, is obsessed with - pretty much all the same things that Bek is - Kingdom Hearts, anime, drawing, etc... and even likes the same kinds of foods.

In fact, they are so similar that it's really, really spooky (like, really really really). For example, Bek chose Luna for her facebook name because she didn't want to use her real name. In fact, she would probably like it if this was her real name. Bek's twin changed her name to Luna some time ago (long before meeting Bek).

Anyway, it's been really nice for her to have a friendship like that. Bek's twin "gets" her in a way that nobody else ever has. They are incredibly lucky to have found each other.

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by christie0918

We are so very fortunate that he is such a great young man. I remember what I was like at 16 - and trust me, if the worst thing he has going is that he doesn't like to take a shower, well, I will take stanky over the other things anyday! LOL

Lol - I could say the same thing about my girl (she turns 15 on Monday).

She is truly a beautiful little soul, but also one hell of a grot!

She is getting better at taking showers, even if she doesn't care for them. It's getting her to wash her hair that's the problem. Once she gets in there, her mind wanders, she goes on autopilot, and before you know it she's finished her shower and has forgotten to wash her hair AGAIN!

It doesn't seem to bother her that it's like a dirty mop on her head... now that would just drive me crazy...

[christie]

Originally Posted by urs

Lol - I could say the same thing about my girl (she turns 15 on Monday).

She is truly a beautiful little soul, but also one hell of a grot!

She is getting better at taking showers, even if she doesn't care for them. It's getting her to wash her hair that's the problem. Once she gets in there, her mind wanders, she goes on autopilot, and before you know it she's finished her shower and has forgotten to wash her hair AGAIN!

It doesn't seem to bother her that it's like a dirty mop on her head... now that would just drive me crazy...

Its just getting Bratboy IN the shower... once he's in there, its FOREVER before he comes out.

I am really glad that he has learned moderation with the "Axe" body spray.

When he was about 8, his stepfather gave him part of a Halston z14 cologne gift set. Stepdad drove him to school every morning and I will never forget seeing Mel (stepdad) arriving back home, all four windows down and his head stuck out the window much like a dog riding in the car. It was February and much too cold to have windows down.

Mel came into the house, eyes red and watery. I asked if he was ok. He looked at me and said, "We HAVE to teach that boy some moderation... I feel like I have been maced!"

The moderation lessons took a while, but at least he wasn't stanky!

[violaine]

http://www.creative-minds.info/index_files/Social.htm

”There is a double standard in communication between those that hold the most common views and those who do not:

“When I do not understand other people that is perceived as being my fault.
“When other people do not understand me, that is somehow my fault as well.”

- Ilah, adult probable Aspie from USA

[Andrew, Jr.]

Violaine, I can relate to that quote by Ilah. Thank you for posting that.

[Bit]

That's a GREAT Bratboy story, Christie! Made me laugh pretty hard.

That quote you posted pretty much sums up how I feel, too, belle.

Soooo, I'm almost halfway through The Highly Sensitive Person. I hit a hard place, the part about going to school. I'm surprised that I got this far through the book without it pushing any buttons for me, since everything applies to me... guess that means I managed to forget most of my early childhood, which is probably a blessing.

It's real hard not to be mad at my mom right now, which is very uncomfortable since we're pretty close. *sigh* But hey, maybe having another way to understand what happened to me will help me to finally come to peace with it all. I mean seriously, how many times do I have to DO this work, anyway? I think this is the fifth or sixth time dealing with it all; there's always something more to deal with, sheesh. It's time to let it go for good and get on with my life.

[violaine]

there was a mystery for a long time as to something happening with departures, not all of them, but still, i was not quite able to put my finger on what it was. an awkwardness of some sort was there beyond abruptly leaving [no 20 minute lingering goodbyes for me- i'd rather just take off without saying a word sometimes], but a friend explained a recent interaction observed between me and someone saying our goodbyes. during the drive home, i mentioned that i sensed the person with whom i was talking wanted to hug me, but what happened? apparently, he tried to hug me several times- and i pulled completely away from the hugs and stepped back.



urs, i am so happy for your daughter-

[violaine]

do any of you have an awareness of overloaded in the act or does the realisation come only afterwards ?



i am asking because i know specific things that can get me to the point of overload or a potential MeltDown - but if i'm going through the motions of transitons/sensory issues, et c- i'm not sure i recognise the overload is happening until i'm on the other side of it.

how i might present to someone experiencing me in overload = short, frustrated, different tone, not quite as communicative or able to find the words, et c.

thank you!

[Bit]

{{{{{{{{{{{{belle}}}}}}}}}}}}

Both happen to me, love; I am slowly coming to understand when I am overloaded while it's still happening. The worst for me is when I am at a really big store with a LOT of noise, like a Home Depot with the forklifts backing up and beeping, those extra loud announcements they make, and the echoes of everything (including customer noise) off the hard surfaces; also in a Walmart, with lots of people making noise, kids crying or screaming... sometimes that happens to me in the regular grocery store, too, if kids are screaming and the muzak is playing and announcements are being made... *shudders*

I've noticed that fluorescent lights and concrete floors are also a bad combo for me.

BUT if I'm not in one of those places, I don't usually recognize that I'm overloaded until afterwards... and then I finds myself thinking, "well, duh! no wonder" and feeling kind of sheepish about not recognizing it while it was happening.

I stopped reading the hsp book, btw... she was talking a lot about social cues and responding appropriately and it's really valuable--I found myself wondering if it might be as valuable to someone who has Asperger's as to people who are highly sensitive because of the emphasis she puts on setting appropriate social boundaries and on responding appropriately; it's really gentle and full of information--but life itself suddenly got overwhelming to me and I put the book down. I have to finish it soon.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I have partial complex seizures. One of the things that set me off are lights. For example, going thru a long tunnel, fluoresence & strobe lights. That is why when going out to a nightclub are sometimes uncomfi for me. No amount of medicine can stop seizures or their intensity. I hate them with a passion.

Another thing I really try to avoid is large crowds and noises if possible. For example, I can handle going out every now and then, but not every weekend. I would have a total meltdown afterwards. I always feel on edge. Plus with civility that has gone down the tubes these days, I really feel defensive at times (Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, Sam's Club, and such). It is like I have to explain myself repeatedly to the same people. I am not sure of what words to use or what to say. I have tried and tried.

I no longer work because of my disorders. It has been a welcome relief. Now, I am focusing my attention on my furkids. They love unconditionally. I just wish people would do that.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I forgot to mention my Aspi symptoms. I hope this helps too.

I have a routine that I stick with. If that is changed or altered without my knowing, I get upset.

I go thru stages of collecting things. For example, I am still in my religious stage where I collect religious icons. When my older sister died, I received so many. It was overload. Rosie had to help me with this. It was just wayyy too much.

Then there is my obsession with the weather. I even have a chart for hurricanes. I focus in on just 1 thing of the weather. That is it. Anything else is boring to me.

The one thing I cannot stand is when someone refers to me as retard or asks me if I am schizophrenic. I am at a loss of what to say. I have ocd, and depression from being constantly frustrated. I am just not good with words. They tangle me up.