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Old 11-28-2015, 09:10 AM   #201
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Sex and attention! Lots of both please. If I don't get either often I turn into Mr. Asshole.
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Old 11-28-2015, 11:01 AM   #202
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Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake View Post
Vintage, we may want completely different things but I often feel like I am the only person in butch-femme land who wants what I do. Mostly I get people who want what I feel are rigid formulaic formal and stiff awkward (for me) dates that don't feel that treat me like an individual girl. Just a cut out gender representative to shovel fill in the blank formula romance on. And I feel invisible and sad rather than romanced.

It feel pretty much like I'm the only one that feels this way too.

I think it's a human condition to feel that way.
I feel invisible a lot of the time too.
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Old 11-28-2015, 12:16 PM   #203
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I feel invisible a lot of the time too.
As I get older (and hopefully wiser), I've thrown away the long list of requirements needed to make a relationship perfect for me. If I'm to deeply connect with my potential partner then it is paramount that we truly see each other, hear each other and ultimately understand one another and not use some generic check list of preconceived traits that may or may not meet our true needs, wants and desires.
Yes it's important to have sexual chemistry, a meeting of the minds and an emotional connection but I feel this is often adds to the confused at the start of a relationship when you're in a state of limerence which has no longevity.
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Old 11-28-2015, 05:52 PM   #204
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A few years ago I wanted so much more, but lately I feel like I'm over the whole thing. I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend and I don't want sex. Some days I feel otherwise (like when I'm PMS..lol) but I truly think I missed the boat on romantic love and I don't really want it anymore. I prefer things to be decided in life rather than always hoping and waiting for something that's never going to happen. It's a lot easier for me to just accept that life didn't turn out the way I planned, but it's OK. I'm not sad about it. I think it just is the way it is.

In friends I prefer the company of intelligent, creative people, who accept me.
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:29 PM   #205
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I'd settle for witty and good conversation at the point in life! Anything else that might come along afterwards is just gravy!
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:56 PM   #206
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Default Want and need

I have read the above wants and needs for relationships and I agree with many people. For example, I can live separately from my partner. I love my alone time. I also agree that there is no recipe for the perfect partner. There are some requirements though and some deal breakers.
A potential partner for me must be honest, nonsmoker, drug free, polite, kind hearted, genuine, and intelligent.

It would be a bonus if she was cultured, liked travel, was confident, and was at least a little bit of a foodie. As I said previously I enjoy humor.

Here is the bottomline these days, I am not going to get on a plane for the purpose of dating.
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Old 11-28-2015, 09:15 PM   #207
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Originally Posted by Chad View Post
Here is the bottomline these days, I am not going to get on a plane for the purpose of dating.
It is certainly easier to date someone who lives nearby. I'm not going to limit myself to doing the easy thing, though.
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Old 11-28-2015, 09:29 PM   #208
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Liam,

Thank you for reading my post and sharing your thoughts.
Best wishes,
Chad

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It is certainly easier to date someone who lives nearby. I'm not going to limit myself to doing the easy thing, though.
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Old 11-29-2015, 04:09 AM   #209
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam View Post
It is certainly easier to date someone who lives nearby. I'm not going to limit myself to doing the easy thing, though.
I agree, logistics shouldn't get in the way of finding love. Maybe I just like a challenge or I'm just hopeful that there is someone for everyone out there somewhere.
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Old 11-30-2015, 08:54 PM   #210
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This made me smile today... and it seemed appropriate for here.

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Old 12-01-2015, 12:23 AM   #211
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Want: sex (minimum twice a week), homecooked meals, attention, weekly date nights, monthly road trips, listening without fixing things

Need: naked snuggle time on a nightly basis, make out sessions, trust, honesty, authenticity, kisses, empathy, compassion, patience, understanding
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Old 12-05-2015, 09:10 PM   #212
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Old 07-10-2016, 07:27 AM   #213
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Bumping this thread.
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Old 07-10-2016, 08:58 AM   #214
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chad View Post
I have read the above wants and needs for relationships and I agree with many people. For example, I can live separately from my partner. I love my alone time. I also agree that there is no recipe for the perfect partner. There are some requirements though and some deal breakers.
A potential partner for me must be honest, nonsmoker, drug free, polite, kind hearted, genuine, and intelligent.

It would be a bonus if she was cultured, liked travel, was confident, and was at least a little bit of a foodie. As I said previously I enjoy humor.

Here is the bottomline these days, I am not going to get on a plane for the purpose of dating.
Update:

I decided not to be so rigid about LDRs as a starting point. The rest of my post is spot on.

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Old 07-30-2016, 08:12 PM   #215
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Affection, not sex, just affection like hand holding, cuddles and kissing.

IT'S NOT THAT HARD LADIES, SHEESH!
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Old 09-08-2017, 05:56 PM   #216
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at the risk of sounding needy I would rather say is that I do best with someone who is not afraid and can handle me! Someone who wants the same things in life as I do, someone who is not afraid to lock the chains to me...someone who is not afraid to cage me. Someone who is interested enough to see past the crap and to the next layer. Someone who is not afraid to give me what I really need especially when I need it. Someone who is real and lives and walks their own truth. Someone who is not afraid to tell me what they need and want. Someone who challenges me and puts me in my place when I push the line. Someone who is tender when it's needed and also throw me to my knees when it's time.. Someone who is not afraid to commit and capable of loving themselves enough to take care of themselves.. someone who takes responsibility seriously and acts accordingly. Someone who I can't live without. Someone willing to walk the walk... not just talk the talk.

and oh, must love dogs.

Seven years later, still true.
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:36 PM   #217
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I need for the person to be kind, caring, respectful, intelligent, hard working, understanding, protective, and perform gender in a masculine way. Also no issues with alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviors. The person and I are focused on each other and how to build the relationship. There should never be a situation in which the person is putting me or others down.
I want the person to be older than I am.
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:27 PM   #218
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That is a great list happyfemme. Wishing you much success in finding that in someone.

I love to see love stories happen!
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Old 07-20-2018, 04:17 PM   #219
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Update:

I decided not to be so rigid about LDRs as a starting point. The rest of my post is spot on.

Update: no LDRs period.
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Old 07-20-2018, 05:09 PM   #220
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Quite simply - a person who loves and accepts me for me. If I were to have that I would fly to the ends of the Earth to be near the one that gives it. Yes, there are qualities I look for in a potential partner. But, the love and acceptance? That is the foundation of it all.
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