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Old 06-12-2017, 08:59 PM   #81
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I dont believe in soul mates, persay. I believe we have connections from other times, either spiritually and/or genetically (there is a belief our past life memories are actually genetic memories we carry over in our genes

I do believe that some of these connections are larger than average love. But I believe thats because of the measure of the people, not that its a cosmic miracle.

I love large. I give it everything I have. I have had a few give back to me the same way. And some, well, missed their mark. But thats ok. I am loved SO well now and love this Love so deeply...

I no longer ponder if there is a god, or how big the universe is, or if there are soul mates. I live and love as tho the universe is ever expanding and let my love live up to that example to whoever I love at the moment...
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Old 06-12-2017, 09:48 PM   #82
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I don't necessarily believe specifically in the concept of soul mate for myself, but I have had some amazing, intense, out of this world connections with certain people - both romantic and platonic - that will always stay with me.

For me, true love is a decision and a commitment and not just a feeling. It encompasses the intense, the passionate, the uncanny and sometimes unexplainable connection with someone and evolves into something much more. It is moving past infatuation into love and staying there and allowing it to grow and growing along with it with your beloved. Love that stands the test of time, that is what truly matters to me.
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Old 06-12-2017, 11:07 PM   #83
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The short answer: No, not really.

The long answer: I do believe we have souls. I don't believe that we're "missing" someone, or have another "half" of us out there somewhere and we have to search around for that. I'm complete, right now, don't need a mate of any kind. (Whether or not I want companionship is a different story, but that's a want, not need.)

I don't really believe in a soul mate meant to stay in your life forever. Yes, I realize there are couples married for 60 years, and I don't know how to reconcile my belief to that. Maybe it's different for each person. Anyway, for me, I believe that certain people come into our lives to teach us something, to help us grow, or to somehow impact our life. Once that's done, they leave. Not always, but that's my experience. And "leaving" isn't necessarily a bad breakup, more like a recognition that you're at a crossroads with different paths.

So to me, we have "soul lessons", multiple, throughout our lives. They're not necessarily a romantic thing.
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Old 06-13-2017, 03:22 AM   #84
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Originally Posted by Femmadian View Post
I don't think soulmates exist. I find the alternative is much more romantic.

For me, I think the concept of soulmates can be very seductive in that it kind of absolves us of responsibility for looking after our relationships, sticking it out in the tough times, trying to understand the aspects of our partner we might not otherwise want to understand, and it also allows us to more readily wash our hands of someone or something with the idea that "oh, if s/he were really the right one or if this were really the 'right' relationship, we wouldn't fight (or at least not this much) and it wouldn't be so hard. I guess we're not really 'meant to be.'" I think it also keeps us in relationships or with people with whom we otherwise might not (or should not) remain.

I think it's far more romantic to not have the belief in a soulmate but to give it a go anyway despite all the odds. To recognize each other's flaws, wake up each and every morning and make the conscious choice to love and be with someone, to acknowledge the fact that those initial giddy, feverish feelings of infatuation will eventually (and quite naturally) fade a bit with time and to be patient and aware enough to see and feel the deep, abiding love which replaces them... to make the decision to create a life together and respect and love each other as best you are able while accepting each other, warts and all... that, to me, is romantic.

I think the sticking point for me with the concept of soulmates (aside from, you know, being an atheist and all) is the idea of choosing vs being chosen. I want to be with someone who chooses me for who I am and what I am to them (and vice versa), how we mesh and who we are as a couple, and to not feel as though they think I was chosen for them according to some ethereal concept that neither of us can really adequately define. I need something concrete, tangible, and real. If you tell me you love me because the stars are aligned and you "just knew" upon meeting that I was "the one"... well, maybe that sounds nice in poetry and it works for some people but it doesn't really pass the smell test for me. If, however, you tell me you love me because you've seen me at my worst, now know my flaws, and you still want to be with me in spite of everything because you still get that ache when I walk through the door, to me that's love.
I went back to read the earlier parts of the thread, and this is years old but it really did resonate with me.

I believe in true love, I am a die hard romantic, I believe you can have amazing, inexplicable connections with people (both romantic and platonic) and ones where things all seem to click into place. Also, I have always wanted to find my one true love and be with her for the rest of my life.

I also believe love is a choice and a commitment and something you do every day. I can't read anyone's mind or know exactly how someone else thinks at all times. But I can choose to love and choose to value my relationship and nurture it and experience our love as it deepens and grows.

It is a fascinating topic.
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Old 06-15-2017, 05:13 PM   #85
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Yes, I believe that Soul Mates exist.

That being said, Soul Mates don't have to have a romantic connection.

I have met people where I recognized them, without knowing them.

I think that would mates are people / souls you know on the other side and/or people you have known in past lives.

I think my middle son and I are soul mates because, to me, I feel like I have known him forever, even before he was born.

I also think there is something called Karmic Souls. I believe they are here to teach us a lesson and move on. Some people call these souls Twin Flames. To me, these are the ones that you don't bother with ever again.

Just MHO
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:25 PM   #86
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I definitely believe in soulmates....

I have two soulmate friends and we all know there's something more than
our friendship , their is a heart felt connection or a connection greater than ourselves....

I wish I could find my soulmate future wife or her find me....but if not taking my time and spending a lot of time with my family...
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Old 09-09-2017, 07:21 AM   #87
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Short answer.... No.

You're young and fall in love and you feel like that person is your "soul mate".

It doesn't work out.

Later.......

You fall in love and you feel that's your soul mate.

Doesn't work out.

I believe in love and happiness. Love can feel very intense and powerful. I believe long term relationships can work. But I do not believe in soul mates.
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Old 10-11-2017, 10:00 PM   #88
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I suppose anything can exist..if you want it to.Many many years ago I believed in Soulmates..I truly believed he (yes He) was out there,somewhere.Do I believe he is still out there?,no..Do I believe she is out there?,no.
All I know is that I need love...and whoever offers me the kind of love i'm looking for,well,that's my soulmate.

What is love?...You Are There for Me.

Make sense?
Have I soften up since? or gotten harder?? *shrugs*
I guess i'm back to believing in Soulmates.I married for love,and that's what I got..but something is still missing.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:34 AM   #89
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Depends on how you define Soul Mate.

Does it mean "someone who understands me, loves me, clicks with me, and sticks by me for decades"? then yes. I have a few of those. They are friends I've had for over 30 years. Also, my half brother, who died about 17 years ago.

I don't personally believe in souls so the definition has to be explained to me in a different way... someone who gets the core of me? touches deep parts of me? loves them? Well, I'd say most of my partners *DID*. Just because it wasn't for ever doesn't me the love was fake. I really loved them. They really loved me. They totally understood and got me. It was just our dynamics that didn't work. Our behaviours and patterns and acting out. So who's to say ALL of them weren't?

My ex wife I loved more than all of them put together, though. But is intensity of feeling proof of ... what? Still didn't work because of dynamics. Nothing is perfect.

My friendships have taken a lot of work over 30+ years and a lot of patience and eyerolling and just letting things be and accepting shit or it won't work. And knowing when to work and when to just let it be.

I believe in chemistry, imprinting when young, social imprinting in your core group as you come of age, understanding things as a teen and early 20s seems to really "sit". I still carry the core beliefs of that - that's why I'm still friends with my friends.

And why I don't "click" with mainstream north american socially conservation traditional beliefs around romance and dating. I wasn't raised with it, so I don't "get" it. I was only introduced to it when I went gay and started dating American butches.

So when I meet those who "get" that same view point as me that *don't* come from my back ground, and they share my irreverent humour... I get excited we are working with the safe platform and understanding - that click.

Soul mate... being understood, respected, loved, "gotten", with shared vision/values. Yeah, luckily, I've had several. and many are my friends
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Old 03-10-2018, 05:42 AM   #90
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i’ll know in the end.
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Old 03-10-2018, 10:18 AM   #91
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imperfect cupcake, said it perfectly, (for where i am)at this point, in my life
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Old 03-10-2018, 11:31 AM   #92
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This article may be helpful...

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016...or-twin-flame/
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Old 03-10-2018, 11:43 AM   #93
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I sure hope so .. other wise whats the point.. I do enjoy the journey ...
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Old 03-10-2018, 11:46 AM   #94
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great article ty for sharing
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Old 03-10-2018, 11:51 AM   #95
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I did enjoy this article HOWEVER unless I missed it, it really doesn't tell us how WE can really distinguish between the two in our mind. I'm sure at least some have thought the karmic relationship mate was our soulmate.
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Old 03-10-2018, 12:17 PM   #96
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Wink ~

referring back to my original response # 22 ~ I still feel the same way to me it's a spiritual connection ~ not always romantic ~ mate is 1 of a matched pair ~ sounds like friendship as well : to me. lol it seems to be just as hard to find that special soul friend as it is in a spouse ~ appreciate who has or will be in your life ~ however long we have together is a gift there's nothing in the words soul mate that indicates physically together forever ~ the soul owns that ~ " a wink and a smile wanna mate " ~
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Old 03-10-2018, 12:30 PM   #97
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Post Soulmates exist

Everyone has a Soulmate and we can have more than one in a lifetime.

Some would say that Soulmates are an important part of our journey to self-actualization, to becoming our most genuine and authentic self which will help you grow and evolve into your fullest potential.

When you meet your soulmate, you will have a sense of ease and comfort, like you have known them in a past life. Those that have met their Soulmate have the belief and have said they were fated to be together.

A Soulmate can take the form of friends, lovers, even family members. The energetic connection between soul mates is more powerfully felt than with others.

So, yes, they do exist and you probably already have met more than one.

A Twin Flame is very rare! and Spiritualists will say not everyone will get to meet theirs in this lifetime.
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Old 03-10-2018, 01:03 PM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homoe View Post
I did enjoy this article HOWEVER unless I missed it, it really doesn't tell us how WE can really distinguish between the two in our mind. I'm sure at least some have thought the karmic relationship mate was our soulmate.


"As the theory states, twin flames were separated from one soul source in the beginning of time and split into two physical bodies.

There is a mirror like quality when we come into contact with our twin flame—everything that we have spent our lives running from or denying is suddenly in front of us.

These types of lovers confront us with our very fears and ego driven desires, but they aren’t just about what’s inside, they’re about how we interact with every facet of our life.

Not all of us will be reunited with our twin flame, but if we are, it has the possibility to be that once in a lifetime—ain’t nothing ever gonna be the same—type of love.

There will be challenges and fears present, without a doubt—there will be phases of running and chasing, depending upon the spiritual and personal development of both individuals.

But regardless of any of these challenges, it is possible to reunite and stay with our twin flame—although it is speculated that only occurs in one’s last lifetime here on earth.

Regardless of what type of romantic relationship we find ourselves in, there will be obstacles and challenges that have the potential to assist us in our growth and evolution."




A twin flame is one soul split in half and in two bodies. You will know when you meet your twin flame because that person will be a mirror of yourself. A twin flame relationship is not easy for obvious reasons.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:17 PM   #99
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Well... Since time started in this particular universe 13.7 billion years ago, as far as we know right now (could change), and the planet is only 4.5 billion years old... and single cell life started 3.5 billion years ago (something to put souls into), that must have been a bit of a wait.

So I guess under that definition of one thing splitting into two and thus only one other that is also me - No. I don't believe that at all, as a literal definition.

however, if it's meant as a metaphor as those who feel like mirror selves - yes. I do know that sensation. I've had it twice. And both times it was terrifying/awesome/electric/crazy: when I met my half brother and when I first got together with my ex-wife.

Losing both destroyed me in different ways. Zack dying felt like the person who was supposed to be with me my entire life without question, with friendship, loyalty, understanding, my male twin... left. Just buggered off. Thanks for that. I felt totally abandoned by him dying. I felt utterly alone in a dimension I can't articulate because no one had ever occupied that space before.

And when my ex-wife left, I fell apart. Because she also felt like a mirror. A butch me, a butch me from a different world. She seriously got me in ways only long term best friends did and she just got there instinctively.

So yes, in the metaphoric sense sure.

But literal? No, because I don't believe in that mythology.
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Old 03-10-2018, 04:22 PM   #100
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I was talking with a friend of mine who has his PhD in evolutionary biology: technically no animal is monogous. Humans have constructed that narrative to fit romanticized ideals. That being said, I also know shamans who live with animals who have emotionally filfulled lives with animals (do the animals reciprocate? Who knows). Lichen live symbiotically so... I don’t believe in soul mates, but I wonder how we project (or orient?) desire due to our own existence in the world.

The closest thing I’ve had to the definitional soul mate was a horse I had. I don’t personally want a human soul mate.
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