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Old 01-14-2010, 11:46 AM   #41
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A: Guns don't kill, but they sure leave a bruise

Q: Why are the tiniest screws always in hard to reach areas???
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:06 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by Jess View Post
A: Guns don't kill, but they sure leave a bruise

Q: Why are the tiniest screws always in hard to reach areas???
A. Tiny tools for tiny screws.

Q. Will someone please go hug my friend a couple hundred miles from here for me?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:09 PM   #43
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A. Tiny tools for tiny screws.

Q. Will someone please go hug my friend a couple hundred miles from here for me?
Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:12 PM   #44
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Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?
A ladbug

Why do you find things when you don't need them but can't find them when you do?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:34 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by weatherboi View Post
Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?

Unfortunate. ha ha

Why couldn't I resist answering that question?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:35 PM   #46
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A ladbug

Why do you find things when you don't need them but can't find them when you do?
Because the universe needs to amuse itself.

How come pigs DON'T fly?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:38 PM   #47
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Law of Opposites

What happens when you swallow your pride?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:39 PM   #48
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Law of Opposites

What happens when you swallow your pride?

this usually causes gagging and choking


why can't life be easier?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:41 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Deadyboy View Post
this usually causes gagging and choking


why can't life be easier?
A: Don't ask that question. Seems when you do? Life gets harder.

Q: Would you like my spouses kidney via FedEx?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:43 PM   #50
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A: Don't ask that question. Seems when you do? Life gets harder.

Q: Would you like my spouses kidney via FedEx?
send him with it we'll need a scalpel and thread too.

Does he mind waking up in a bath full of ice?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:44 PM   #51
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send him with it we'll need a scalpel and thread too.

Does he mind waking up in a bath full of ice?
I'll let you know tomorrow.

Can I crochet the wounds back together? Perhaps whip up a kidney cozy?
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:53 PM   #52
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I'll let you know tomorrow.

Can I crochet the wounds back together? Perhaps whip up a kidney cozy?
you could but crazy glue might work too.

Why do I have a hankering for kidney beans?
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:00 PM   #53
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you could but crazy glue might work too.

Why do I have a hankering for kidney beans?
Because you've not had a proper kidney pie?

did you know they actually do have stitches that are glue/adhesive? No metal or thread, just some bond a wound.
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:01 PM   #54
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Because you've not had a proper kidney pie?

did you know they actually do have stitches that are glue/adhesive? No metal or thread, just some bond a wound.

Yes, and I hear they come in flavors too - like Rooty Fruity Tooty Glooey

Why does my side hurt all of a sudden?
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:02 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by NJFemmie View Post
Yes, and I hear they come in flavors too - like Rooty Fruity Tooty Glooey

Why does my side hurt all of a sudden?
I borrowed your pancreas to clone it.

Why do I love to hate Martha Stewart?
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:27 PM   #56
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I borrowed your pancreas to clone it.

Why do I love to hate Martha Stewart?

because it would just be silly to hate to hate her.

why can't we just have a moderate climate here?
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:44 PM   #57
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because it would just be silly to hate to hate her.

why can't we just have a moderate climate here?

Your location reads "In my head." Find the damn thermostat and adjust as needed.

Why do 7-11 door have locks?
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:53 PM   #58
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Your location reads "In my head." Find the damn thermostat and adjust as needed.

Why do 7-11 door have locks?
the same reason why they have doors

Why do they call it snow removal when they don't remove it, they just push it? Shouldn't it be snow pushal?
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:04 PM   #59
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the same reason why they have doors

Why do they call it snow removal when they don't remove it, they just push it? Shouldn't it be snow pushal?

I prefer the image snow blowing invokes. Heh.

Is laundry emasculating cuz it's only great when the water is soft?
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:22 PM   #60
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I prefer the image snow blowing invokes. Heh.

Is laundry emasculating cuz it's only great when the water is soft?
no, 'cause guys are always looking for something soft and wet to get into.

is a whiz-bang the same as water sports?
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