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Old 04-13-2011, 11:50 PM   #41
bright_arrow
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Originally Posted by Bard View Post
Well shucks Ma'am I try and poor Desd she is stuck with BOTH of us
Pffft bring it on!
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:57 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by desdansmoncoeur View Post
Pffft bring it on!
Even when I crack my neck hmmm PSSST
I think we are hijacking this thread
Sorry Y"all
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Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:59 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Bard View Post
Even when I crack my neck hmmm PSSST
I think we are hijacking this thread
Sorry Y"all
Even when!
Whoops

/derail
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Old 04-14-2011, 04:17 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by JAGG View Post
Make promises you keep.
Make yourself easy to love.
Make the one you love feel safe and secure.
No matter what, make the one you love know she is a priority.
Talk about everything, and be brutally honest, even if it's difficult.
Treat her like a queen, and love her in all ways , always.
Build a bond together that noone or no thing can come between .
Apologize for your mistakes, make amends and do better next time. Then make amends again.
Take responsibility for your actions .
Validate her feelings by listening, stop what your doing, even when you're busy and pressed for time.
Always make time for her needs , even if your tired ,injured or bored.
Just a few things I always try to do when I love someone. It doesn't guaranty she won't still choose to walk away, but I don't think it hurts anything.


The only things I would add would be support the dreams and goals the one you love has. Honor the accomplishments and mourn the losses with them.
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Old 04-14-2011, 05:43 AM   #45
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Default Stuff that has worked for me

Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting.

Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place.

Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things.

Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond.

When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted."

Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone.

When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can.

Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's.

Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care.
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"I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. "
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"So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

Last edited by Venus007; 04-14-2011 at 05:46 AM. Reason: forgot a pearl o' wisdom, lol
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Old 04-14-2011, 05:46 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oiler41 View Post
Yep; this is the highest priority to me. If I can't trust you to tell me the truth, everything else is pointless.

Glynn
yes yes, and the WHOLE truth when you do speak of the truth, good the bad and the ugly.

Anything less is an UNtruth and deceitful
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Old 04-14-2011, 05:48 AM   #47
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Have your life, her life and our life!
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Old 04-14-2011, 07:30 AM   #48
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Default lessons learned

Talk about goals, where you are heading, where you want to be in the future if you plan a future with someone, winging it doesn't work.
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:00 AM   #49
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Default

Romance. Romance. Romance.

Take the time. It is important.

Oh and for sure learn to let go and laugh about silly things. Random little everyday things.
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:02 AM   #50
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Respect each other's bathroom privacy!
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:04 AM   #51
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Talking

Respect

Listen

Talk

Laugh

Fuck

Comfort
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:28 AM   #52
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Default

No matter how mad you are, reach out and touch - literally - just before you go to sleep.

There is nothing as lonely or as crazy making as being in bed next to the person you love but being too hurt/proud/indignant to ask for a hug. Don't make them ask. Just do it.

Words
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:33 AM   #53
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Words View Post
No matter how mad you are, reach out and touch - literally - just before you go to sleep.

There is nothing as lonely or as crazy making as being in bed next to the person you love but being too hurt/proud/indignant to ask for a hug. Don't make them ask. Just do it.

Words


I'm the opposite, I don't want to be hugged or hug if I am mad. I just want to be left the hell alone, maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years.
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:45 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sassy_girl View Post
I'm the opposite, I don't want to be hugged or hug if I am mad. I just want to be left the hell alone, maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years.
I was thinking more along the lines of the person who was mad with the other reaching out, but you're right, we're all very different.

Me? I need some kind of physical contact just before W/we go to sleep regardless of who's mad with the other. Nothing sexual, just a 'so okay, one of us is mad now but it'll all be okay in the morning' kind of touch. And, to be honest, nine times out of ten it is.

Words
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Old 04-14-2011, 08:55 AM   #55
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Touch me...
with words...
your hand...
your lips...
your heart...

Touch me deep into my soul...
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Old 04-14-2011, 09:24 AM   #56
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Be nice to me
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Old 04-14-2011, 09:29 AM   #57
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Default

Give random back rubs, foot rubs, kisses.

Make decisions together after you discuss them.

Be there for your mate.

Realize that some days you will not like each other and that is fine.

Try not to go to bed upset with each other. Release the bad energy before the new day starts.

Always be honest and have good intentions.

There are plenty more things but I am lazy and I don't want to type them.
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Old 04-14-2011, 09:53 AM   #58
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Default

Find joy in each other's joy.
Take affection as willingly as you give it.
Encourage each other to new heights.
Make the most of the day-to-day moments together.
Treat each other with respect and kindness.
Communicate and tell the truth.
Never use each other as excuses for unhappiness.

Bring me tea when I'm tired.
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In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
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and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

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Old 04-14-2011, 10:17 AM   #59
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Default

If you are thinking maybe I should breakup with her/him-you should.
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Old 04-14-2011, 06:55 PM   #60
JAGG
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Default hugs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Words View Post
No matter how mad you are, reach out and touch - literally - just before you go to sleep.

There is nothing as lonely or as crazy making as being in bed next to the person you love but being too hurt/proud/indignant to ask for a hug. Don't make them ask. Just do it.

Words
If I'm angry and the other person hugs me , my anger is instantly gone. Especially if we are in bed and they slide up behind me and spoon me. But I won't tell them , cos it's a secret that I should not reveal, but if they really love they would figure it out, they'd learn how to get through to me.
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