Are you a donor???????????

princessbelle · 10-08-2012, 04:41 PM

Organ donation.

Us gay/queer peeps are notorious for being known as giving people to the community, animals, the environment, each other.

I was just thinking today, how many of us are Organ Donors?

When i worked in the hospital, one of the hardest things to deal with after a death in the family, was asking the family members if they would consider donating body or tissues. I heard a lot of the time something like this..."It was never discussed" "I don't know what to do" "I wish we had talked about it".

It is important to TALK about with your loved ones, because even if your license says you are, it is your family who will ultimately be asked and who will make that decision.

I am a full body donation and have this conveyed on my license and on my car with a Donor Life sticker. More importantly, Bully, my mom and my kids are fully aware of my wishes.

These are sometimes difficult things to discuss and you have to do what is right for "you". What is your take on it?

Each day, about 79 people receive organ transplants. However, 18 people die each day waiting for transplants that can't take place because of the shortage of donated organs.

http://organdonor.gov/becomingdonor/index.html

aishah · 10-08-2012, 04:50 PM

i am! i wish i could be a living donor but i can't because of my health problems. but i'm definitely an organ donor and everyone knows.

when my mom died, she was in really bad shape, and i remember them asking us if we wanted to donate her organs and we were like "she'd think it was HILARIOUS that anyone could use any of her organs" and we did

it made the memorial service a bit of an adventure, though, because we had an open casket and they took the long bones in her arms (i didn't even know they could use those) and they needed us to put something on her arms because of the incisions. well, my mom never wore anything with long sleeves in her life, i don't care how cold it was outside. so we put a shawl on her but it was a bit weird because everyone knew it was WAY out of character for her, LOL.

anyway, my musculoskeletal system and my brain both suck but my other organs are in good shape. so hopefully i'll be able to help someone someday

DamonK · 10-08-2012, 04:56 PM

My wishes are known. Donate me to medical science. Donate what you can of my remains. Just don't bury me

Heavenleahangel · 10-08-2012, 04:59 PM

I am not only a donor, but as a diabetic with complications, I have donated any of my organs that can be used towards diabetes research or research in general. I won't be using my body when I am gone and if my gift can possibly help find a cure for this dreadful disease, then I will leave a legacy to countless people forever. That would be so cool!

Corkey · 10-08-2012, 05:00 PM

Yep a donor, they can take anything that is viable. The rest gets cremated.

DamonK · 10-08-2012, 05:14 PM

Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....

Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.

My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.

Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

easygoingfemme · 10-08-2012, 05:16 PM

Yes, registered donor here.

girl_dee · 10-08-2012, 05:17 PM

Sometimes there isn't a cord to pull. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.

The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.

That's where it gets tricky.

Corkey · 10-08-2012, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamonK

Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....

Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.

My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.

Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

it is in writing and Ami has the originals. No one else gets a say.

DamonK · 10-08-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Sometimes there isn't a cord. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.

The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.

That's where it gets tricky.

Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.

The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.

LaneyDoll · 10-08-2012, 05:29 PM

Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons.

DMW · 10-08-2012, 05:33 PM

Affirmative...for years...and then... i actually am a recipient...who knew.
Thank you donor

girl_dee · 10-08-2012, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamonK

Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.

The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.

Exactly so be very specific in your wishes (to all) because pulling a feeding tube and pulling a plug are two totally different things in the eyes of the law.

Pulling the plug- the person usually drifts off like in the movies

pulling the feeding tube - the person starves to death after a week or so which is murder in the eyes of some law makers and not allowed.

So be very specific in your wishes because the pull the plug DNR wishes do not apply when someone is on a a feeding tube.

Bit · 10-08-2012, 05:37 PM

Yes, here. My family has known for a long time, but people do forget so this is a timely reminder to have that talk with them again. Thanks!

aishah · 10-08-2012, 05:43 PM

by the way - most states now i think allow advanced medical directives so you can make legally binding decisions about end-of-life (as well as psychiatric crises) instead of having to depend on others to make those decisions when the time comes. not that you can't trust people, but...in situations like that, i've seen people do complete 180s. so it's something i'd recommend looking into.

princessbelle · 10-08-2012, 06:15 PM

Good points. Get your wishes in paper out there. Copies to your doc, family etc.

Here's the thing to remember...

Say you are in a car wreck and it is decided that you are legally dead, breathing or not. In the hospital, it is Law in the state of Tennessee and i'm assuming it is close to the same all over the country, for the RN or Doc to notify the Donor Registry and tell them of the death or impending death. It is then by phone that the Donor Registry will contact the family and ask over the phone what they want to do. They don't know histories or who is suppose to be the one making the decision. All of that should be done way ahead of the need so everyone knows who to go to for the answer. Again, this is initiated over the phone. Make sure EVERYONE knows your wishes that may even be somewhat involved.

So, unless it is a long drawn out death, so to speak, where there is plenty of time to contact this one and that one and fight who has the legal rights, get all the paper work in order, etc, all of the decision comes down to who is next of kin to make the sometimes very fast decision.

Make sure everyone will know who is in charge in that situation because it is rare there is time to get through the legal mumbo jumbo.

Ginger · 10-08-2012, 06:17 PM

Yep, my NY driver's license identifies me as an organ donor.

Great thread, Belle! Something that's easy not to think about, till someone brings it to our attention.

skeeter_01 · 10-08-2012, 06:19 PM

organ donor and bone marrow donor here!!

skeet

DapperButch · 10-08-2012, 06:21 PM

Yes, but until I am 5 years cancer free they can only use my corneas!

Gráinne · 10-08-2012, 07:02 PM

Yes, it's on my license, and in my will papers. My executor knows where they are. Use what they can, the rest I'm thinking can get donated to the Body Farm in Princessbelle's back yard

.

BTW, this is also a plug for drawing up a will. You do NOT want to pass on intestate.

10-08-2012, 04:41 PM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Are you a donor??????????? Organ donation. Us gay/queer peeps are notorious for being known as giving people to the community, animals, the environment, each other. I was just thinking today, how many of us are Organ Donors? When i worked in the hospital, one of the hardest things to deal with after a death in the family, was asking the family members if they would consider donating body or tissues. I heard a lot of the time something like this..."It was never discussed" "I don't know what to do" "I wish we had talked about it". It is important to TALK about with your loved ones, because even if your license says you are, it is your family who will ultimately be asked and who will make that decision. I am a full body donation and have this conveyed on my license and on my car with a Donor Life sticker. More importantly, Bully, my mom and my kids are fully aware of my wishes. These are sometimes difficult things to discuss and you have to do what is right for "you". What is your take on it? Each day, about 79 people receive organ transplants. However, 18 people die each day waiting for transplants that can't take place because of the shortage of donated organs. http://organdonor.gov/becomingdonor/index.html __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

10-08-2012, 04:59 PM	#4
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,069 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675552	I am not only a donor, but as a diabetic with complications, I have donated any of my organs that can be used towards diabetes research or research in general. I won't be using my body when I am gone and if my gift can possibly help find a cure for this dreadful disease, then I will leave a legacy to countless people forever. That would be so cool! __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

10-08-2012, 05:00 PM	#5
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,299 Times in 6,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Yep a donor, they can take anything that is viable. The rest gets cremated. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

10-08-2012, 05:29 PM	#11
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,689 Times in 1,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons. __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.

10-08-2012, 06:15 PM	#16
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Good points. Get your wishes in paper out there. Copies to your doc, family etc. Here's the thing to remember... Say you are in a car wreck and it is decided that you are legally dead, breathing or not. In the hospital, it is Law in the state of Tennessee and i'm assuming it is close to the same all over the country, for the RN or Doc to notify the Donor Registry and tell them of the death or impending death. It is then by phone that the Donor Registry will contact the family and ask over the phone what they want to do. They don't know histories or who is suppose to be the one making the decision. All of that should be done way ahead of the need so everyone knows who to go to for the answer. Again, this is initiated over the phone. Make sure EVERYONE knows your wishes that may even be somewhat involved. So, unless it is a long drawn out death, so to speak, where there is plenty of time to contact this one and that one and fight who has the legal rights, get all the paper work in order, etc, all of the decision comes down to who is next of kin to make the sometimes very fast decision. Make sure everyone will know who is in charge in that situation because it is rare there is time to get through the legal mumbo jumbo. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

10-08-2012, 04:50 PM	#2
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,437 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i am! i wish i could be a living donor but i can't because of my health problems. but i'm definitely an organ donor and everyone knows. when my mom died, she was in really bad shape, and i remember them asking us if we wanted to donate her organs and we were like "she'd think it was HILARIOUS that anyone could use any of her organs" and we did it made the memorial service a bit of an adventure, though, because we had an open casket and they took the long bones in her arms (i didn't even know they could use those) and they needed us to put something on her arms because of the incisions. well, my mom never wore anything with long sleeves in her life, i don't care how cold it was outside. so we put a shawl on her but it was a bit weird because everyone knew it was WAY out of character for her, LOL. anyway, my musculoskeletal system and my brain both suck but my other organs are in good shape. so hopefully i'll be able to help someone someday

10-08-2012, 04:56 PM	#3
DamonK Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: May 2010 Location: . Posts: 2,199 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,527 Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	My wishes are known. Donate me to medical science. Donate what you can of my remains. Just don't bury me

10-08-2012, 05:14 PM	#6
DamonK Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: May 2010 Location: . Posts: 2,199 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,527 Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together.... Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do. My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her. Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

10-08-2012, 05:16 PM	#7
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,731 Thanked 14,159 Times in 3,019 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Yes, registered donor here.

10-08-2012, 05:17 PM	#8
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Sometimes there isn't a cord to pull. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves. The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death. That's where it gets tricky.

10-08-2012, 05:33 PM	#12
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,861 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Affirmative...for years...and then... i actually am a recipient...who knew. Thank you donor

10-08-2012, 05:37 PM	#14
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,772 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778869	Yes, here. My family has known for a long time, but people do forget so this is a timely reminder to have that talk with them again. Thanks!

10-08-2012, 05:43 PM	#15
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,437 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	by the way - most states now i think allow advanced medical directives so you can make legally binding decisions about end-of-life (as well as psychiatric crises) instead of having to depend on others to make those decisions when the time comes. not that you can't trust people, but...in situations like that, i've seen people do complete 180s. so it's something i'd recommend looking into.

10-08-2012, 06:17 PM	#17
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,310 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Yep, my NY driver's license identifies me as an organ donor. Great thread, Belle! Something that's easy not to think about, till someone brings it to our attention.

10-08-2012, 06:19 PM	#18
skeeter_01 Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hey you! Relationship Status: Sleeping single in a double bed.. Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ann arbor, michigan Posts: 195 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 288 Thanked 477 Times in 130 Posts Rep Power: 3007275	organ donor and bone marrow donor here!! skeet __________________ Texting while driving is a real KILLER!!! ‎"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together...but it takes only one nut to scatter them all over the highway..." Jeff PARAMEDIC

10-08-2012, 06:21 PM	#19
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,896 Times in 5,773 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Yes, but until I am 5 years cancer free they can only use my corneas! __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

10-08-2012, 07:02 PM	#20
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,818 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,011 Thanked 7,246 Times in 1,416 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Yes, it's on my license, and in my will papers. My executor knows where they are. Use what they can, the rest I'm thinking can get donated to the Body Farm in Princessbelle's back yard . BTW, this is also a plug for drawing up a will. You do NOT want to pass on intestate. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck