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12-13-2010, 12:26 PM | #1 |
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Shit Heard Around this House!!
Hello Everyone!
I'm not sure if there is a thread for this or not, but I'm starting a new one anyways! Please feel free to add comments, stories, quips, quotes or just plain ole smartass things that get said in your household! I'll start it off.. Me: "The fan on this computer is loud, I'm gonna take the back off and clean it" Miss Pink: (as I am taking screws loose off the back of the computer) "Just remember you are a PTA not a computer dude" Me: "Parts is parts,right??" Miss Pink just covered her eyes and shook her head
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12-13-2010, 12:47 PM | #2 | |
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Too funny. For sure I will be posting here. Great thread!!!!!
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12-13-2010, 12:48 PM | #3 |
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yup I actually have a log going of things we hear around this house.
One Butch Daddi and two femme girls make for some very interesting stuff! |
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12-13-2010, 01:07 PM | #4 |
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This convo just happened.....
Belle: How's it going? Snack: Good just trying to get past the man eating flower. Belle: Oh gosh. Now what is that on your back, a baby? Snack: Yeah he helps me when i need him. ~pause. Belle: now what's that purple thing? Snack: I'm not sure but it's not good. It will try and eat me if i get too close to it.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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12-13-2010, 01:18 PM | #5 |
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Me: Here's what we are having for dinner tonight. Herb roasted pork tenderloin with herbs de provence, after it cooks I'll let it rest for 10 minutes then add the cranberry chutney.
Shad: It's gotta rest? Is it tired from the oven??? |
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12-13-2010, 01:50 PM | #6 |
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Me: How was the cup 'o noodles? As bad as you remembered?
Organic: No, it wasn't that bad, once I spiced it up. Me: Oh, what did you use? Organic: Butter. Me: Butter's not a spice! It's lard. Organic: Okay, then it's spicy lard. |
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12-13-2010, 09:05 PM | #7 |
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Papa, commenting on a question I can't repeat: "Cause if I had a submissive bone in my body I'd pull it out and beat it with a belt."
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12-16-2010, 12:12 PM | #8 |
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Talking to a good friend of mine from Norway on voice..
Me: Whats your address? Her: you are lazy!! Me: Oh wait, I have it here on the customs form for your package. How do you say that street name??.. slowly.. Her: ((she pronounces it)) Me: ((attempts to pronounce it)) i am never going to learn how to speak norweigen!! Her: you have to pronounce the norwiegen "R" roll the "R" like this ..rrrrrr Me: well thats not going to happen.. there is nothing vibrating about my tongue.. its out of practice !! a small pause.. we brust out laughing!! |
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12-16-2010, 12:26 PM | #9 |
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Walking into Living Room sees Snack standing there perplexed and in deep thought.
me.... What's wrong? Snack....nothing i just can't believe she is pregnant too. me...WHO she....what? Snack...the blonde girl honey. silence me....What BLONDE girl. Snack....the one on there (points to tv) walks out giggling bout Him and His "All my children" soap opera. geeze.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
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01-15-2011, 09:21 PM | #10 |
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Papa and I discussing an upcoming conference I'm attending:
Papa: "So, what will you do there?" Me: "Industry stuff, same old shit every year." Papa: "I guess I'll just be hugging my pillows while you are gone." Me: "I guess I'll be hugging mine too, but, there will be ROOM SERVICE!" Papa: "Bitch, you got room service here! I bring you chocolate and Ginger Ale anytime you want." LMAO! Point taken. |
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01-15-2011, 10:29 PM | #11 |
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In the car, driving to the gym:
Me: I don't understand why you take a shower before going to the gym. Rene: Crust on crust leads to barnacles. Me: Andrea
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I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.
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01-16-2011, 07:46 PM | #12 |
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my shower tonight reminded me of this old convo....
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: huh? Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours? Me: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy? Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room? Me: OHHHHHH!!! do you mean the blue scrubbies? Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours? Me: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!! (there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!) |
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01-16-2011, 08:01 PM | #13 | |
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Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.
Quote:
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01-16-2011, 08:25 PM | #14 | |
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When you first asked me, I thought you had an Ex girlfriend named Muffy? Or a girlfriend who left all her Muffy Puffers all over the bathroom? I think they multiply like Tribbles from Star Trek!! |
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03-25-2011, 09:55 AM | #15 |
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Miss Pink commenting on an inane Dulcolax commercial while lying against my legs on the couch....
Miss Pink: "Why would anyone want to use a stool softener while on a plane??" Me: " I don't really know." Miss Pink: " I can't even PEE on a plane!!" Me: " I've tried, but I can't lift my leg much higher than the landing gear!" We both collapsed in gales of helpless laughter.
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"Cry,cuss,sling snot, whatever. Just KEEP PEDALING!!" Shad |
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03-25-2011, 11:25 AM | #16 |
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Apparently This Happened Weeee Hours of The A.M.
This was just brought to my attention when on the phone with Ladi earlier:
(Phone rings) Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!! Me: "Hello"? Ladi: "Hi honey, how are you doing this morning"? Me: "Good, I just had some coffee, so I'm more alive and thank you for your little note" Ladi: "I guess you don't remember making funny sounds in your sleep" ? Me: "Ummm, no, why? What was I doing"?? "Was I snoring"??? Ladi: "Well, I remember hearing you making some sort of strange sounds so I started to rub your back gently". "And no, you were'nt snoring, it was more like a breathing heh, heh, heh sound." Me: "Really"??? I have no recollection of that at all!". "How weird, you sure it wasn't one of the cats"??? Ladi: "No, it wasn't one of the cats hon, it was you and then it happened again, so I reached my hand out again to rub your back and thought your back was still facing me, until you slapped my hand real hard". "I guess you don't remember doing that either". Me: "OMFG, now that you said that about the hand thing, I remember feeling a hand near my face and slapped it down hard!". "Shit, now I remember"! LOLOL "Did it hurt"??? Ladi: (Laughing) "A little bit, but more than anything it scared me, because it startled me". Maybe you thought it was a bug or something and you started swatting away". Me: "No, I remember in my sleep feeling a hand on my face in the dark, so I reacted". "But it could have been worse, I could have bitten it off or something". BOTH OF US: (Laughing on the phone) Me: "So whattya want for dinner tonight"? |
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03-26-2011, 06:22 PM | #17 |
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I have to translate rap music for my baby.
the guy says "I aint never scared" she says "Well damn get some glasses...I aint never seen, I aint never seen." I say...."He's saying I aint never scared." she says"Well damn didn't his momma teach him how to enunciate"
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In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe. Last edited by Ebon; 03-26-2011 at 06:25 PM. |
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04-17-2011, 01:40 PM | #18 | |
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Overheard ~
This is a place to put your Overheard @ The (fill in the blank). Example: Overheard @ The Daywalkers yesterday ~ Quote:
Have fun n remember ~ try not to run too fast with scissors.
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04-17-2011, 02:14 PM | #19 |
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Overheard @ The Daywalkers:
Mrs. Day "I love U for your Tuna" Me: " Oh, really" Mrs. Day "...tuna FISH Daywalker" Me: " *grin* yeah, that's a whole lot different" Mrs. Day: "...tuna fish SALAD Daywalker" Me: "...this pleases the Gay MaN in mah head"
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04-17-2011, 02:26 PM | #20 |
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Dirty!!!!!!!!!
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
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