What fart did you fart today?

[nycfem]

Just another fart thread for giggles because as Pamela Anderson said in her old column in Jane Magazine, "Farts are never not funny."

THE ORANGE OOMPA LOOMPA FART

Today I farted while on an elliptical (like a treadmill) at the gym today. It was a sour silent fart that lingered, as in my prayer, "Please disappear," but no... still there, perhaps even reaching a potential no one could ever imagine it would achieve at it's humble beginnings.

Unfortunately I was on a piece of equipment right next to only one other person. It was very clear who "dealt it." She handled my toxic gas with true civility and class by simply moving to an elliptical a few machines down from me, no 'tude in the least. When I've been in the reverse situation, I have not been as generous, instead angrily inhaling the stench while giving dirty eyes to the farter, who, of course, pretends that they don't notice they are being hated on.

I tried to diagnose my fart as I continued on my cardio machine all alone, as in, what created such a monstrous expulsion? I did have an orange and some almonds before working out, or was it the power bar, or some combination thereof. I had to go with the orange.

So, what fart did you fart today?