Bringing It Up: Describe The Butch You Are

[Morgan]

I had come across a thread "Describe the Femme that you are" but, when I searched to find a counter part for this thread I could not....I find it interesting and would enjoy hearing from other butches on how they see themselves as individuals.

As I have aged, my views of myself have not so much changed, but have developed and brought me to the place I am today. I look back 10, 20 and 30 years ago and it makes me laugh, I thought I was the toughest, baddest, fucking butch around....and as the years went by, I realized I am not that bad...tough yes, strong definitely and well although my wildest years are behind me, I am still pretty wild.

I am not afraid of the soft, sensitive side of me, I thought it was a weakness years before, but I can embrace it.....yes, I am a woman. I identify with female pronouns because that is how I feel....when I first came out in my teens, I did not like this, I wanted to identify as a male, but like I said I have come to be okay with who I am. I say this for myself and would never judge anyone, I am me, and I am learning it is okay to have my own opinion of me.

I am at times impulsive, but it is alright, I find myself growing daily....I learn from my mistakes, pick myself up and go on. I don't blame others for the things that happen to me, I don't like chaos and I hate drama....

Ok now for the good things about me....I am great with my hands, I can fix anything, design anything, create anything. I am a visual and sensual person, I love to gaze at the stars, walk along the beach, smell wild flowers, breathe in and take in all life has to offer. I love dancing, candle light dinners with a wonderful femme, and long nature walks....

I can be wild and aggresive, passionate and sensual, or playful and serious.... I sometimes wonder if I will ever grow up, but then again I wonder why I would want to....yes, I would want to take care of a femme in my life, but I know it is okay to have a playful side, a silly side that does not need to change.

I would want the femme in my life to feel safe, to feel protected and to know she has all the love and support possible... I would want her to feel she always has a safe place to land. There would be no question about her being treated special....I am very much a gentle wo(man), doors open, order first, sit first, etc, etc.....

I am sure I will think of more things, but for now, this is all I have to say...I would enjoy hearing from others.

[Stud_puppy1991]

The butch I am...

For starters, I am a young butch, so there's still things in my young life that I have yet to discover and to learn. My journey to know has not been an easy one at all, for I have had a very hard life and had to grow up way too fast. At 20, that's not such an easy thing for me to do at all. Makes me wish that I could slow it all down at times. Still, through it, I've had some fun and crazy times to tie in with all the hard ones. I think the hardest thing for me was when I lost my father at 18. That experience there really opened up my eyes and made me gradually become stronger, and from it, I learned to cherish things in my life a lot more. The butch I am is also a fighter, and will stop at nothing to win over whatever struggle I may be facing. The butch I am, is simple, yet all one person. And I will stop at nothing to help someone, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness to do so. More than that, the butch I am..is human.

[Tcountry]

I am simple yet complicated ...
I have history, a past, a present, a future
goals... dreams... and a strong work ethic
I am almost always positive... everything happens for a reason
I am a spiritual Christian who doesn't judge others
I am strong & handy... stubborn & stern(at times)
I am gentle, loving, & kind... with a warm smile
I am versatile... hy, she, sis, mister...depending on occasion & company
I am constantly learning
I am a thinker/ problem solver
I am a trusted vault to my closest friends
I am respectable dependable honest & organized
I am Butch ....slacks & tie or work boots & jeans
I am a detail oriented cheezy romantic
I am a true Country Boi who can survive the city
I am lover of watching the earth rotate, water, & "feel good" movies


*tip hat*

[Merlin]

A walking emotional nightmare but like Marilyn Monroe famously said “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

[Mr Nice Guy]

I'm an old school butch who's sensitive, loving, loyal, kind, too sweet and always there for those in need. I have a big soft center that I hide from the world but share with those I care about. Sometimes I've been known as the mean looking lesbian. That's just my hard ass shell. But if you know me then you know the truth.

[clay]

Those 5 letters are just a "description of me...and in NO WAY makes who I am inside or in my heart!
I am a true southern gentlewomyn...with manners, courtesy, respect, and gentleness abounding.
I am of the old fashioned, old school breed...one who will open doors, pull out chairs, walk on outside of and offer arm to a lady, help her with her coat, even helping to get her hair out from under the collar and prettily displayed against her soft shoulders.
I will wait for her....patiently..never rushing her., as she gets dressed for our date. I will look at her with tears in my eyes when she emerges from her room...seeing how stunningly beautiful she looks!!!
I will shop with her for hours, carrying her parcels. I will rub her feet as we sit in the food court sipping an ice cold beverage while she regains her momentum to "shop til she drops" again!
I will order for her if I am acquainted with her likes and dislikes, OR if she tells me what she would want, and I will give the whole order.
I am attuned to her at all times.
I will always appreciate her...as she is an incredible gift...she has given of herself to me..and I can be entrusted with that awesome gift!
I "get", comprehend, and validate Her feminine mystique!
I wil always acknowledge her, validate her existence, and put her above all else.
I will watch chick flicks with her, wiping away tears at the sappy parts, and handing those same tears back to her as diamonds. I will be teary eyed and sensitive along with her.
I will cherish her like a true and priceless trasure she is.
I will never take her for granted!
I am a best friend...to many
I am a confidant, one that keeps those things sacred!
I will hold her sacred in all ways..sharing intimacy only between ourselves!
I will lay down my life for the woman I love and who owns my heart!
She will have my undying loyalty and committment should our hearts beat as one.
I will treat her like an equal, always..and we will walk side by side...never "owning" one another....yet connected by our hearts!
I can cook, clean, mow a lawn, fix a flat, iron a silk piece (steam it rather) mend a boo boo with a kiss and a bandaid, and I can fight fiercely for our lives. I have won many battles on the battlefield of life..and that is who I am today..a culmination of love past..love lost..and love remains a constant in my heart..never making me jaded, cynical, or bitter. I chose those pathways, and I walked them...I took lessons from them, and made changes from them..positive changes....
So I am many things....an incredibly devoted friend, a loyal companion, a soft hearted, sensitive, compassionate gentle womyn...and it is nye impossible to "describe" one's self..for in the end..what really matters is who you are when with another person...words are just descriptions..so I am a human being with an amazing heart and I have moral compass, and turpitude. I am old fashioned, and old schooled...as I will always, always put the ladies first..and when I meet HER..she will decide for herself what kind of a BUTCH I am..as she will see deeply inside and know my heart..that is where my "butch" lives.

[Parker]

I saw this tonight and loved it so much. I wanted to share it and thought this might be the place for it.


A Butch Roadmap
by Ivan Coyote





My favorite part: "Other Butches are not your competition, they are your comrades."

If I could get my fellow Butches to all believe in and agree on one thing, it would be that.

[Merlin]

Aries,blue eyes,six foot,stubborn,hot blooded fire sign .. And true to my sign. Like a bull in a china shop in most situations. Speak first,think later .. On a softer side I am kind,caring,sensitive .. And I have a wicked sense of humour. I like lengthy hugs and kissing sessions. I love being fussed over =]

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!

[clay]

I am that butch who will wrap you inside my presence, affording you that warmth, security, sense of protection that you desire.
I am that butch who will leave you a single rose on your windshield just because...I wanted you to know I was thinking of you...
I am that butch who will get out of bed at 300am, drive to the store to get you that chocolate covered, creme filled doughnut and coffee...just because you wanted it..and come back and feed it to you...
I am that butch who will hold you when you are frightened, scare away monsters, and cover you, whispering to you til you fall asleep again...and watch over you while you sleep
I am that butch who will admire your fierceness and independence yet respect the babygrrl in you and your need for me....
I am that butch who will slay a thousand dragons, make you a s'mores by a campfire, who will run you a hot bath with candles and soft music, bathe you, pamper you, and kiss you all over...
I am that butch who will provide a shelter for you when you need it...with my big butchness...
I am that butch who will write you silly love letters in the sand...on the mirror with your lipstick, make you a peanut butter & jelly sandwich...to comfort you if need be...
I am that butch who will walk by your side..for life...when we are One Heart, One Love joined...
I am that butch who will seek comfort in your arms when my world is all jumbled and I am having a bad day
I am that butch who will seek your arms to hold me when I cry (Yes, butches do cry, too)
I am that butch who will hold you when you cry, grabbing your tears in my hands and handing them back to you as diamonds...
I am that butch who is mesmerized by you..each and every time..who will acknowledge, validate, and resonate within you....
I am that butch who knows and respects that a femme can bring me to my knees...with her feminine mystique, sensuality, and her mysteriousness
I am that butch who will never profess to knowing what makes my femme tick BUT I will damned respect that and be her all..in every way..
I am that butch....a hopeless romantic, passionate lover, devoted companion, and wait for you...here and now....

[AtLast]

I am a butch that is as tired of the stereotypes and generalizations made about butches as I am of transmen and femmes- all of the identities that are a part of this community.

Butch is simply one aspect of who I am. A positive part along with many other things that add up to me.

[Converse]

I wear labels- each one explains something, none are contrary, each one – sought, questioned, embraced- They are etched into my belt.



I enjoy the company of everyone who flags queer. I don’t need complete sentences to understand what a person who has walked in Butch shoes for many years is trying to say; and for those new to just finding those shoes, I feel a little ache as I know the challenges that lay ahead for them.

As a Butch I understand the struggle and strength of the Femme, the role that each played in allowing me to walk tall, for letting me see in myself what only they could.

I am Butch because others walked before me and demanded the name; I am Butch because a Femme risked everything to tell me and everyone looking our way that I am wanted. I am Butch the noun. I do not understand butchy, butch-like, or sometimes butch. I am old enough and have ventured far around the globe enough to carry the scars that the politic of any given day inflicted.

I am the kind of Butch who does not laugh easily, and who has to consciously make an effort to smile in order to make someone feel at ease. I am the kind of Butch who detests bullying and without thought will rise to the occasion. I am the kind of Butch who carries OFOS expectations and struggles with the concept that it is not universal within the community.

I am the kind of Butch who finds pleasure in every single day, feels deeply others sorrow, finds wonderment in the extraordinary, relishes lessons learned, and finds amusement in the ridiculous..... and I am the kind of Butch that you would have to know well to see that.

[clay]

I am the butch who will walk beside you..hold you...carry you...and love you...unconditionally...and never waiver in my love and committments to you!

[boobookitty]

What kind of Butch am I?
Well, I have read many descriptions and I have seen many traits represented on this thread, which I could claim as my own, but I ask myself how do I stand apart?

(grins) How I look is a BIG difference. Well sort of, ... I can dress boi, and even pass for male at first glance, ... at a distance... (laughing) But, I rarely do in public. My masculine expression, is a vulnerable and personal point of my existence. I have had dysphoria events so bad I hardly lived through them, so I decided, if I have to be 'girl' -- I might as well be a HOT one -- So call me a lesbian drag queen or a Butch in Drag, (lots of other things too) its fine with me. (one friend has called me a bulldykefaggotqueen, which I thought was funny as hell! --major laughter--)

I stand at the crossroads of many gender categories, non transitional FtM transgender/dissociative bigender/Stone Butch Lesbian.
I feel the brotherhood, of Old School/Old Fashion ideaology and I just 'get' the Butch/Femme dynamic, I never needed it to be explained.

I adore a feminine woman! I am entranced by the Lipstick Femme, and yearn to feel 'her' yield to my embrace. To see her enjoy the complexity of interaction with a Lipstick Butch. (there are not many of 'us' in the world) I am gentle, understanding, honest and respectful of feminine drama. I can be the 'Butch' she needs and the best 'girlfriend' too. (its not always easy to sort that out)

I am a Stone Butch, I joke that its a 3 trimester collage course in advanced psychology, to understand why. But, I hope to get over those issues someday. Yet, I lose nothing by that loss, like someone who has lost their sight and other senses become more acute, my genitals may not work as designed, but I can climax just from my girl caressing my hands. Or from my hands gliding across the fullness of her curves. (and I do like 'fullness' in her curves) I will also confess, a little feminine 'bitching' is a bit of a turn on to me.

I like to dance, (I lead) I enjoy singing along with songs on the radio, (I have been told my voice is nice). And after 30 years of therapy, I can talk almost any subject to death! Also, I have a wicked sense of humor and I am a compulsive flirt!

On the practical everyday--getting things done--side of life, I am a modern homesteader (have lived on this sixty acres for over ten years). I designed and built most of my house. (its two story, so I had to have some help) I own and use all the tools needed to do the work. It is small and comfortable, heated by wood, powered by wind and solar. I am a master gardener, can raise the food, preserve it, and save seed for next year. I have lived with and raised animals most of my life. I like dogs and cats. (I like to call myself a blue eyed tomcat)

I like honesty and intelligent conversation. I endevor to keep the promises
I make, so I rarely make them. I can love someone, when not 'in love' with them. (hence, I am not single)

[AlexHunter]

I'm a neo-traditionalist butch. What I mean by this is: I'm glad for the progressive ideas of the present, but I deeply value displays of manners and chivalry that seem to have been dismissed as silly by some members of my generation. (I'm 28.)

I prefer cordial discussion to excess displays of dramatic energy; I believe in greeting everyone for the first time with eye contact and a pronounced handshake... with a kiss on the hand for the ladies when the situation is appropriate; and - surprising as it may be to those who know me - I do not swear in the presence of women (or anyone, for that matter) until I know they are okay with it.

I'm no Ward Cleaver, nor am I a white knight. I'm gentle but firm.

I listen instead of waiting for my turn to talk because I think other people (especially femmes) are probably more fascinating than I am. I don't speak unless I have something to say.

I'm a queer history buff. I tip my fedora to the courageous butches - both alive and dead - who existed before my time. They sacrificed their bodies, minds, and pride in dirty bars, paved our history, and fought to defend our identities.

I'm dapper and badass; a gentleman and a bad boy.

I am a genderqueer/transgendered butch. I prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns, but I won't get my boxer briefs in a wad over female ones. I feel like a guy, but have chosen not to transition due to the cost and lack of bottom surgery options. This has caused me to proudly embrace being of a third gender on a quest to love myself. People ask me when I will transition sometimes and don't comprehend the idea that I have no intention to do that. I am happy with who I am.

I am not quite a stone butch, but I am close to it. I'd say I'm 90% stone. I am okay with being touched between my legs by the right partner; I just don't want to be feminized in the process.

I am a butch because butch means masculine. I am a butch because I love and understand this dynamic; because I adore femmes and acknowledge them to be my kryptonite; because I was euphoric when I discovered there was actually a group of pretty girls who would like someone like me.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by claybaby

I am the butch who will walk beside you..hold you...carry you...and love you...unconditionally...and never waiver in my love and committments to you!

Yes Baby...you are this butch and everything you said in your other 2 posts and so much more!

You're the butch who walked to the car in the pouring rain and returned to the store with an umbrella...
The butch who would never let a door shut in my face...
The butch who tied moss to my car antenna as a reminder of a special day...
The butch who packed up leftovers for me so i wouldn't have to cook dinner for myself Monday night...
The butch who checks fluid levels in my car to make sure everything is ok...
The butch who insists on carrying my overnight bag from and to my car...
The butch who never gave up on the possibility of us...
i'm a very lucky babygrrl...

[clay]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Yes Baby...you are this butch and everything you said in your other 2 posts and so much more!

You're the butch who walked to the car in the pouring rain and returned to the store with an umbrella...
The butch who would never let a door shut in my face...
The butch who tied moss to my car antenna as a reminder of a special day...
The butch who packed up leftovers for me so i wouldn't have to cook dinner for myself Monday night...
The butch who checks fluid levels in my car to make sure everything is ok...
The butch who insists on carrying my overnight bag from and to my car...
The butch who never gave up on the possibility of us...
i'm a very lucky babygrrl...

No baby, it is I who is blessed!!! THANK YOU, my love, for such wonderful sentiments regarding me!!! I love you, B!

[clay]

Originally Posted by ArkansasPiscesGrrl

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!

THANK YOU,Ms. APG! YOU are an awesome lady!!! Loves ya my friend! Have an incredible weekend! I know I will..wish you could join us...hugs..Clay

[StoneOne]

I have changed so much in the last 8 months I need time to think on this and at the same time I am at the core who I have always been....

[StoneOne]

I see that the person I have become is the person I have always been. Thanks again for this thread..........