02-03-2018, 06:01 PM | #721 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Valued Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 762
Thanks: 1,680
Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Weather
A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open and gusty cool air fills up the bar. After drinking his Draft things seem to get back to normal.
The guy then orders a Thunderclap on ice. Suddenly the roof gets pelted with hail stones and an intense lightning flash and thunderous explosion rock the bar. After drinking his Thunderclap things seem to once again get back to normal. Feeling rather good at this point he asks for a third drink- ordering a Tornado on the rocks. This time the bar is not only pelted with even larger hail stones but ferocious winds rip the door off its hinges, shake the bar violently and break every window. Feeling extra good and cocky at this point he then orders an extra large and extra strong Hurricane. The bartender after this request looks up at the guy perplexed and says, “Sorry fella, we have no Hurricanes in Kansas.” |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ksrainbow For This Useful Post: |
02-09-2018, 06:20 PM | #722 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Valued Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 762
Thanks: 1,680
Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
4 Friday Funnies ....
What do you call a grizzly with no shoes? Bear foot.
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A school teacher says, “spit your gum out” while a train says, “chew, chew, chew.” How does a computer catch fish? With its internet. Why did the fish have a bad report card? Because all of his grades were under sea. Ks- |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ksrainbow For This Useful Post: |
02-18-2018, 11:06 AM | #723 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
__________________
Kätzchen _____ ______ |
04-01-2018, 07:10 AM | #724 |
Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her, shawty Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,022
Thanks: 41,070
Thanked 34,088 Times in 8,590 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music?
Hip hop. |
04-01-2018, 07:45 AM | #725 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to homoe For This Useful Post: |
04-01-2018, 12:17 PM | #726 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,585
Thanks: 182,168
Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,657 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
You know, you're supposed to give the punch line, goofball.
Maybe, "Doggone!"? |
04-01-2018, 01:10 PM | #727 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,585
Thanks: 182,168
Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,657 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Quote:
Oh, geez. |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post: |
04-01-2018, 07:29 PM | #728 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
04-02-2018, 03:48 AM | #729 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Female ones Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia
Posts: 4,769
Thanks: 36,246
Thanked 8,587 Times in 1,857 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Okay the client that inspired this thread shared this one with me at med time Saturday morning...
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course because the Empire State Building can't jump! |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Mopsie For This Useful Post: |
04-02-2018, 06:44 PM | #730 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
Put a lil boogie in it |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post: |
04-05-2018, 02:43 PM | #731 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Female ones Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia
Posts: 4,769
Thanks: 36,246
Thanked 8,587 Times in 1,857 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mopsie For This Useful Post: |
04-05-2018, 04:09 PM | #732 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 642
Thanks: 2,196
Thanked 2,089 Times in 541 Posts
Rep Power: 19310768 |
Anarchist dyslexics untie!
Walking into the hall of a rich friend's house, I noticed they had the heads of various animals mounted on the wall - and the rear end of a tiger. So I asked him why it wasn't the head of the tiger up there. "Incompetent taxidermist" I was told, "bit of a cat arse trophy, that one"... We went for a drive to a local flea market later. On the way, I noticed a strange road sign - it said "Road works ahead" when it was clearly being repaired. We'd been at the market for a while when I had to make a call of nature and found another incorrect sign - the disabled toilet was working perfectly. At the end of the day, my friend asked me what I'd thought of the market. I told him I thought it was fun, but I was a little puzzled and disappointed, and kept getting funny looks from the traders. "Why's that?" he asked. "Nobody'd sell me any fleas!" I replied. |
05-08-2018, 11:14 AM | #733 |
Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her, shawty Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,022
Thanks: 41,070
Thanked 34,088 Times in 8,590 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Why can't you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! |
05-09-2018, 08:10 AM | #734 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
😊
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
05-20-2018, 08:13 AM | #735 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 1,526
Thanks: 6,112
Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Q: What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet?
A: SUPPLIES! |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Wrang1er For This Useful Post: |
05-20-2018, 10:18 AM | #736 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to homoe For This Useful Post: |
05-20-2018, 02:48 PM | #737 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
From..... Reader's Digest
A lizard walks into an bar pushing a baby in a stroller.
"What's your kid's name?", asked the bartender. "Tiny," says the lizard. "Because he's my newt." https://www.rd.com/joke/a-lizard-walks-into/ |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
05-20-2018, 06:12 PM | #738 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
05-23-2018, 05:23 PM | #739 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
05-23-2018, 05:36 PM | #740 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
|
Tags |
jokes |
|
|