Making it work 24/7

kittygrrl · 04-20-2017, 02:43 PM

I was reading one of the leather threads and thought this would be great to share what works for your long distance relationship/relationship/partnership/marriage? You don' t necessarily have to be "in" a relationship at the moment ,to have something interesting to say-We have a lifetime of experience. What works for you? or What have you found doesn't?

kittygrrl · 04-20-2017, 02:47 PM

Read something today about how most people when asked if they would die for their significant other usually say, "Yes!" The other side of the question was- but would you "live" for them? Which means a hundred small gestures that say I care, you are important-this made sense to me-and in the day to day ordinaries of life do we consciously put (enough) energy, time and thought into the person we've chosen to share our life with? Hoow much is enough???? ...I'm still trying to work that out..

Kätzchen · 04-20-2017, 03:03 PM

Awesome topic, kitty

I rarely subscribe to forum threads, but I think I'll keep this subscription.

*subscribed*

girl_dee · 04-20-2017, 03:14 PM

Oh i love this subject!

with technology we have so many resources. The digital world has opened LD dating up for all of us.

i prefer LD on many levels. One thing is trust. Must. have. trust.

kittygrrl · 04-21-2017, 10:19 AM

This seems cliché but it's true-Don't go to bed angry-think about your part - deescalate your annoyance and negotiate so that you both are winners!

clay · 04-21-2017, 10:33 AM

Great thread topic, kittygirl!!!

I am in an LDR. I have had them before some worked, others did not. I think the failed ones the stresses & distance were a huge factor. The ones that did work, we both put a lot of time & effort into them.

Trust is absolutely paramount to the success of this type relationship (and all others IMO).

What makes mine work is that we spend quality time regularly with one another. We have FT dates via FB messenger. We have coloring dates, dining together dates, & we keep the FUN in these dates.

We definitely put one another above all else. We respect one another. I know sometimes we all need our "me" space & I am very respectful & cognizant of that time for her, as she is for me.

We are very open & honest with one another. We share so much of ourselves with one another.

One thing we did do was become friends first & foremost. We were friends, exchanging pleasantries over the last few years, BUT when we began to talk, it was as friends. We shared so many laughs, and fun times, working on projects. We took time to get to know each other. We are still doing that.

We saved intimacy for much later, preferring to do so and be able to relax & enjoy each other. It was mutual respect & agreement to do so. That is something I haven't ever done before. It has been so wonderful to get to know HER, her heart, her mind, her soul, and her personality, as those are what I deem sexy!

We chose to keep ours under wraps for some time, and we didn't rush into changing our status, or our lives, yet focusing on one another. I met her family very first visit & am getting to know them as well.

There is so much that goes into keeping a relationship on an even keel & maintaining time with each other yet still having our individual lives. I respect her fierceness & independence as does she mine. She IS my best friend! I can count on her through anything and vice versa.

We do indeed "live" for one another. That is a very healthy way to view this kind of relationship. Good point kittygrrl.

Anyway, you get the idea of what works for us. Every relationship is very different & works according to the two people involved.

Good luck to all who embark on this way of life with another. It does and can work if both are on same page.

girl_dee · 07-25-2017, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

I was reading one of the leather threads and thought this would be great to share what works for your long distance relationship/relationship/partnership/marriage? You don' t necessarily have to be "in" a relationship at the moment ,to have something interesting to say-We have a lifetime of experience. What works for you? or What have you found doesn't?

Connecting... sometimes the distance can see far.. sometimes it doesn't. i like to know i can reach out when it does seem far and i can connect.

kittygrrl · 07-25-2017, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Connecting... sometimes the distance can see far.. sometimes it doesn't. i like to know i can reach out when it does seem far and i can connect.

connection is more important then sex...and sex (is part of the whole) for me...the two are very connected at this point in my life..i think that is something the universe wanted me to understand...........it's even better this way, (then I imagined)...it took me a while but there now

04-20-2017, 02:43 PM	#1
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: je ne sais quoi Preferred Pronoun?: baby grrl Relationship Status: vibing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: real close Posts: 8,805 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,382 Thanked 21,373 Times in 6,723 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Making it work 24/7>>> I was reading one of the leather threads and thought this would be great to share what works for your long distance relationship/relationship/partnership/marriage? You don' t necessarily have to be "in" a relationship at the moment ,to have something interesting to say-We have a lifetime of experience. What works for you? or What have you found doesn't? __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

04-20-2017, 02:47 PM	#2
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: je ne sais quoi Preferred Pronoun?: baby grrl Relationship Status: vibing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: real close Posts: 8,805 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,382 Thanked 21,373 Times in 6,723 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Read something today about how most people when asked if they would die for their significant other usually say, "Yes!" The other side of the question was- but would you "live" for them? Which means a hundred small gestures that say I care, you are important-this made sense to me-and in the day to day ordinaries of life do we consciously put (enough) energy, time and thought into the person we've chosen to share our life with? Hoow much is enough???? ...I'm still trying to work that out.. __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

04-20-2017, 03:03 PM	#3
Kätzchen Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010 Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him. Posts: 15,085 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 35,994 Thanked 31,994 Times in 9,939 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Awesome topic, kitty I rarely subscribe to forum threads, but I think I'll keep this subscription. subscribed __________________ Kätzchen _____ ______

04-21-2017, 10:19 AM	#5
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: je ne sais quoi Preferred Pronoun?: baby grrl Relationship Status: vibing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: real close Posts: 8,805 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,382 Thanked 21,373 Times in 6,723 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	This seems cliché but it's true-Don't go to bed angry-think about your part - deescalate your annoyance and negotiate so that you both are winners! __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

04-21-2017, 10:33 AM	#6
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,096 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 96,036 Thanked 31,685 Times in 7,714 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	Great thread topic, kittygirl!!! I am in an LDR. I have had them before some worked, others did not. I think the failed ones the stresses & distance were a huge factor. The ones that did work, we both put a lot of time & effort into them. Trust is absolutely paramount to the success of this type relationship (and all others IMO). What makes mine work is that we spend quality time regularly with one another. We have FT dates via FB messenger. We have coloring dates, dining together dates, & we keep the FUN in these dates. We definitely put one another above all else. We respect one another. I know sometimes we all need our "me" space & I am very respectful & cognizant of that time for her, as she is for me. We are very open & honest with one another. We share so much of ourselves with one another. One thing we did do was become friends first & foremost. We were friends, exchanging pleasantries over the last few years, BUT when we began to talk, it was as friends. We shared so many laughs, and fun times, working on projects. We took time to get to know each other. We are still doing that. We saved intimacy for much later, preferring to do so and be able to relax & enjoy each other. It was mutual respect & agreement to do so. That is something I haven't ever done before. It has been so wonderful to get to know HER, her heart, her mind, her soul, and her personality, as those are what I deem sexy! We chose to keep ours under wraps for some time, and we didn't rush into changing our status, or our lives, yet focusing on one another. I met her family very first visit & am getting to know them as well. There is so much that goes into keeping a relationship on an even keel & maintaining time with each other yet still having our individual lives. I respect her fierceness & independence as does she mine. She IS my best friend! I can count on her through anything and vice versa. We do indeed "live" for one another. That is a very healthy way to view this kind of relationship. Good point kittygrrl. Anyway, you get the idea of what works for us. Every relationship is very different & works according to the two people involved. Good luck to all who embark on this way of life with another. It does and can work if both are on same page. __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

04-20-2017, 03:14 PM	#4
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Oh i love this subject! with technology we have so many resources. The digital world has opened LD dating up for all of us. i prefer LD on many levels. One thing is trust. Must. have. trust.