Fierce Femmes, Allies and Gender Expectations...

[Soft*Silver]

wow. I am nowhere near your levels of fierceness but I would strap on for Sarah Pallin...yes I would..mmmmm dandy...

also, but more realistic..the one area I have problems with in the fufu femme arena is that I cant tolerate stuffed toys. Yet, people tend to give them to me. I tell them two times. The third time I take off its head and sew its mouth shut and sew its head on backwards and display it without saying a word. I usually dont get stuffies again

yet I also have to admit the one stuffed animal I will accept is a web kinz...and thats because who gives them to me are the children of my best buddy Jean..her nieces and nephews. They save their money to bring me Webkinz when i am hospitalized. How can I say no?

I admire femmes who can strap on. I love femmes who are God Almighty Herself in the mix. I am not attracted to them but I do admire them. I love our diversity ...

and my ex BF, Alex, who is FtM, was living as a femme lesbian before he transitioned. So yes femmes can transition too...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I hate baby showers, bridal showers, any kind of having to decorate kind of event...

I want nothing to do with it, I will show, bring a gift but I just don't have that gene in me. I get bored.

I do like to decorate if I can go gothic.
I do work for an event company....grin.

But baby and wedding showers? I send a nice gift and call it a day.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yeah anything to do with Palin makes my dick cringe and makes me want to kick her in the temple...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by softness

wow. I am nowhere near your levels of fierceness but I would strap on for Sarah Pallin...yes I would..mmmmm dandy...

also, but more realistic..the one area I have problems with in the fufu femme arena is that I cant tolerate stuffed toys. Yet, people tend to give them to me. I tell them two times. The third time I take off its head and sew its mouth shut and sew its head on backwards and display it without saying a word. I usually dont get stuffies again

yet I also have to admit the one stuffed animal I will accept is a web kinz...and thats because who gives them to me are the children of my best buddy Jean..her nieces and nephews. They save their money to bring me Webkinz when i am hospitalized. How can I say no?

I admire femmes who can strap on. I love femmes who are God Almighty Herself in the mix. I am not attracted to them but I do admire them. I love our diversity ...

and my ex BF, Alex, who is FtM, was living as a femme lesbian before he transitioned. So yes femmes can transition too...

For Sarah Palin, I vote Permanent Ball Gag!

and yeah, no stuffed animals. I would love to see photos of what you have done to yours though, It sounds wonderfully creepy! Yeayy!

I love it that Femme's are transitioning. I thought about it, but I fear I would look like Truman Capote.

[Apocalipstic]

I do tend to look like a Sunday School teacher unless I make an effort though.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I may be guilty of having these kind of plushies....



*giggle*

[Apocalipstic]

I have a Barbie with a whip, but I don't think that counts?

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Femmes are not just one thing, We can be so many things.

We can fix cars, we can use power tools, we are strong, we are proud.

I refuse to be told I can't know about cars, or pump my own gas, or drive because I am Femme.

I hate the mere suggestion that I have to be submissive about anything... EVER.

I hate the suggestion that a Butch is soft or somehow less Butch if they like Femmes like Me.

I don't need to be saved.

Claps hands thank you for starting this thread.

On more than one occasion I've been told why are you an Alpha Femme when you have a Syr. My reply is I was born Alpha I smacked the doc when I came out, grab mom's breast and took control. My gift to Syr is just that a gift and when there comes a time that we are not one, My gift will remain locked to Hym. My energy has always been this way, I tried to change and not going to happen. I'm aggressive and fierce a protector by nature. I can and have worked on cars, fix my own plumbing issues, and I have power tools. Femme Daddy yep that too.

[Apocalipstic]

People do not think before they ask questions or make comments do they? We can be who we want to be, date who we want to date, fuck who we want to fuck.

Thank you to all who have posted so far!

[Martina]

i am femme. And i hate whatever i have tried to prefix to that in the past to let people know that i don't do my nails and i prefer wearing berkenstocks. Andro femme, tomboy femme, hippy femme. They all evoke looks of sympathy from people that make me then want to throttle them.

i am femme. End of conversation. But i am not any kind of stereotype. Up until i made a big career change that took all my time, i spent much of my time hanging out in bars listening to altcountry music -- a genre followed by middle aged white men. Most of my closest friends over the years have been men, and most of them straight. i was kind of one of those High Fidelity geeks except i didn't make lists and have a terrible memory.

i have always disliked the statement that so many femmes put out as if to confound stereotypes -- the i use power tools in my stilletos one. i do not touch power tools, and i have never owned a pair of stilettos. i don't do a lot of traditionally femme things, mostly because those things bore me. i'd rather be reading.

i may not collect shoes, but i also don't like sports. Although i used to hang out with guys all the time, when it was time for me to go home, they walked me to the car and carried my things.

i am happy to be a woman and a femme. i do not love all that woman and femme mean in our culture. Some of it i don't love just because it's not me. Some of it because it's sexist and reactionary.

Re D/s, i am a submissive. i love it. Most people who know me outside of leather would be surprised to hear it. i am a high school teacher. Mostly kids behave in my class because we have a relationship, but if they don't, it's not a problem. i can take care of it.

Re sex, i have been with stone butches and had perfectly satisfying relationships, but i am so not a stone femme. i love to fuck women. i am good at it. i don't strap. i am an old dyke. i am good with my hands.

i proudly ID as a bottom. i do not know how to use toys. Very little bores me more than long conversations about toys -- though i do take note of which ones i like used on me. But, like many masochists, i am also turned on by sadism, and i have made quite a few folks happy just using my hands and my teeth. Actually i had an old paddle i loved, but i lost it at some point.

i am femme, but i also date femmes. i am in service to a butch-femme couple now. i have served femmes before. i love it. However, i do not love the "ewww" that i have heard in my community when i have said that out loud in the past.

i like butches, but not all butches and not everything about butches. Some butches take my breath away. i love them for all the same reasons most femmes do. But i am not as big of a fan of the swagger as most femmes are. i prefer quiet confidence.

i also do not think that because i am a queer femme that i have anything over straight women or andro dykes. i am who i am. It's awesome. They are who they are. Awesome too. i have no interest in defining myself in a way that denigrates other women. i love women. i am femme.

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I do tend to look like a Sunday School teacher unless I make an effort though.

people use to tell me that when they met me, their first impression was that I was a good little Catholic girl. (And now, yes, I look like a Sunday School teacher.)

some of it is that I am gay. Some of it is that I dabbled in leather just a bit, long ago. Some of it is that I was a strong strong strong farm girl. I could unload a haytruck by myself, throwing the bales into the loft on my own. Trust me. I had arms that could arm wrestle any butch and win. And because I rode horses, my thighs were strong enough to crack nuts..lol...

but then the accidents happened..and no, I cannot do any of that anymore...but they make good stories round the femmes fires, dont they?

[AtLast]

Thank you all for bringing all of this to the site! If there is one thing I have learned since embracing my B-F identity (really a newbie compared to many), is that femmes are absolutely not to be stereotyped! Which gives me so much freedom as a butch! Must be that dance...

I am thinking about attending the Femme Conference as an ally (and a volunteer to do some grunt work) in August in Oakland. I just don't see me affording the Reunion (which does make me sad) financially. And I think it would be a very good thing for me to attend as an ally and listen to femmes tell their stories and demonstrate their diversity.

And I am going to read this thread from start to finish!

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by softness

also, but more realistic..the one area I have problems with in the fufu femme arena is that I cant tolerate stuffed toys. Yet, people tend to give them to me. I tell them two times. The third time I take off its head and sew its mouth shut and sew its head on backwards and display it without saying a word. I usually dont get stuffies again

I want pictures of these.
Seriously.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am strong

I am a sadist

I am NOT submissive

I will NOT submit

I am a Daddy

I am a Leather Femme

I am power

I am nasty, kinky, dirty, spit in your mouth, fuck you till you bleed, fuck your mouth with my cock till you pass out from not being able to breathe..

I am unapologetic, a pig and sometimes I like to cuddle...

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am strong

I am a sadist

I am NOT submissive

I will NOT submit

I am a Daddy

I am a Leather Femme

I am power

I am nasty, kinky, dirty, spit in your mouth, fuck you till you bleed, fuck your mouth with my cock till you pass out from not being able to breathe..

I am unapologetic, a pig and sometimes I like to cuddle...

Will you cuddle me after you steal all my oxygen and I'm on the floor?

[SuperFemme]

I love it when femme Daddy answers the phone.
THAT get's me hot.

[Apocalipstic]

It does seem dangerous at best to think about using power tools in stilettos. Seriously. And...would the stilettos have to be clear acrylic to match the safety glasses? Yeah. So NO WAY.

I do my nails because I get hang nails otherwise and It's relaxing to get them done.

I do know what it means when your blinker starts making the clicking noise double time.

Can I do basic plumbing? Yes. Do I? Nah.

When I first came out, I was told I had to be Femme and that meant that I had to let Butches drive my car. WTF. I admit that since Cynthia is a back (side) seat driver extraordinaire, that to keep from killing her I have to tell her to focus on "just sitting there" or just let her drive. Whatever makes it work.

I used to be really strong physically when I was younger and was told I did not make Butches feel Butch enough....I always thought that sounded like a personal problem and kinda too close to "talking about our feeeeelings" for comfort.

High heels? Not so much any more, I fall so often anyways, I don't need to break an ankle.

Sadistic? Yes I am.
Making someone cry gives me a head rush.

[Apocalipstic]

I have dated several people who are girlier than I am. They IDed as Lesbians, not as Femmes per se.

When single I wanted to date Femmes sometimes, but they did not want to date Me.

I think both Butch and Femme energy are hot!!!!

[NJFemmie]

I've done stilettos
I've done combat boots
I hate dresses
I love weaponry
I can work power tools like nobody's business
I've strapped and been strapped
I've topped and I've bottomed
I don't submit to anyone (other than Mare)
I've had nails that shamed a dragon lady
... and there are times when I've had none
I've been with butches, femmes and tweens
I won't let anyone tell me what's femme and what's not
...
because I don't believe femmes should be defined by anyone but themselves.

[Soft*Silver]

I have no photos of the Twisted Teddies. .. they left when the romance did....