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Old 05-10-2018, 04:04 PM   #1641
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Default Silly me.

The realization that I take myself wayyyy more seriously than anyone else ever will!
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Old 05-11-2018, 08:21 AM   #1642
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Arriving home to find my favorite old cat, Joey, sitting on the porch roof, I could swear he was smiling.
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Old 05-11-2018, 08:53 AM   #1643
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Default 2 days later still cracking up..

“it’s like a studio NY Apartment up in there "

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Old 05-11-2018, 05:40 PM   #1644
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Seeing my big macho dad jump sky high out of his chair during a horror movie!
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Old 05-13-2018, 06:49 AM   #1645
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Default

Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol.
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Old 05-13-2018, 09:21 PM   #1646
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Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol.
You are teaching her to be bad, and it cracks me up to hear and watch you have so much fun with it.
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:23 PM   #1647
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Old 05-15-2018, 02:27 AM   #1648
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Default

I have very few neighbors so I took the chance that none of them were awake and within sight of my porch at 3:45am when puppy Briar had to pee. So I'm standing there in just my undies, with Briar on her extenda-leash when short little WooBear sets off the motion sensor spot light aimed at the porch.... Gave new meaning to duck-n-run.
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:10 PM   #1649
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Default Last Sunday

The store clerk handed Blade an item of clothing that had a small Star Trek symbol on it.. as Blade turned to go into the fitting room, he says in a very cheerful tone "oh great, may the Force be with me!"

that's my,knucklehead best friend. He had 2 store clerks cracking up
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Old 05-22-2018, 10:44 AM   #1650
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Default

This is my life.

ME: Getting the internet will also be good for when the kids are here. It will give them something to do when they can't play outside.

MOM: Where are we going to put it?

ME: Put what?

MOM: The internet. Will we need to get a table or cabinet to put it on? How big is it?

ME: ummmmm the internet is HUGE!
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Old 05-22-2018, 08:28 PM   #1651
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Finding old pictures of myself from when I was a baby. As well as a teenager. OMG the huge hair, I swear I used 2 cans of hairspray for that height!
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Old 05-24-2018, 11:26 AM   #1652
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Default

Just when you think you can talk femme-speak, you find a butch that knows that language.

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kisses

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Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.
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Old 05-24-2018, 06:42 PM   #1653
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Default At dinner at pizza shop

Blade getting cracked up so much his face turned red and he had to wipe his eyes.

And it all started on a joke about a Free Puppy Kisses booth.
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Old 05-25-2018, 07:42 PM   #1654
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Default

Ordering a chicken Alfredo pizza but they forgot the Alfredo.
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Old 05-26-2018, 12:47 PM   #1655
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OMG! There was actually a lady at the grocery store today with curlers in her hair yes yellow curlers. You know the plastic kind from the 60s and 70s. I never thought in this day and age that I would be traumatized that way ever again
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Old 06-04-2018, 08:05 PM   #1656
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While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up
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Old 06-04-2018, 08:12 PM   #1657
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blade View Post
While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up
Since when do you watch a softball game quietly? If Skippy could talk, he'd back me up.
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Old 06-05-2018, 10:58 AM   #1658
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Default

I was just texting with a classmate about a paper we have to write. I meant to type that it was a bitch but my phone typed...it was a butch. Lol...my phone might have outed me. Not that it isn't obvious just by looking at me.
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Old 06-05-2018, 01:09 PM   #1659
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Old 06-05-2018, 07:06 PM   #1660
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Lightbulb Straight men exist? Straight men exist.

Over this past weekend I had occasion to laugh at myself.

So, for quite some time now, most of the men I interact with in my life on a regular basis are either gay, related to me, and/or 20+ years older than I am and married. Single straight men of my age group don't really exist in my world (and, you know, I'm actually okay with that... ).

Anywaaaay...

So the other day some guy I met gave me his number (hey, that's not the funny part... ). We were just chatting about whatever and he suggested meeting up some time at a local hang out spot and I was all like, "yeah, sure, that'd be fun!", proceeded to exchange numbers, and he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. It was all very friendly and innocent (or so I thought). And then I said something like "and hey, feel free to bring your lady or gentleman friend along too, if you have one. The more, the merrier." And he just kind of looked at me. And so I looked at him. And he looked at me. And then as I continued looking at him, it slowly began to dawn on me. Oh... shit. Wait, did I just get asked out by a straight guy? Ohhhhh... Whoops.

I was so oblivious to the fact that he 1) actually thought I was straight (or bi, whatever) and 2) was asking me out that I swear I just stared at him blankly for what must have seemed like an eternity, waiting for my brain to finally catch up. It hadn't even occurred to me that straight men my age still existed! It was like a scene from The Office. If you looked close enough, you probably could have seen an Error 404 message pop up in my eyeballs.

"Oh, you meant---"
"Well, yeah, but---"
"Oh, nononononono, I mean, it's okay bu---"
"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I---"
"No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Actually..."

And, yeah...

It was all very awkward for all parties involved. And I now have a bit more appreciation for when butches talk about being a 2x4 butch because, yeah, apparently I'm a 2x4 femme (when it comes to straight men, anyway).

And it totally made me think of that meme from the BFP Instagram page:


So, long story short, if any cis male-oriented folks are attracted to the Dudley Do-Right type, I have the number of a very nice (and confused) park ranger for you!
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