older femmes

[Soft*Silver]

what I love about being a Classic Femme, is that people smile and respect me just because of my age...I head toward a door and people open it and smile at me as they hold it open for me to go first. I glow when they do this. At the check out register, the cashier calls me Maam and the boy shows up automatically to take my groceries to the car (and is surprised when he sees I drive a huge 350 dually, lol). While admiring flowers in Lowe's, young couples come over and ask my advise. Young nieces call me when their babies are sick to find out what worked when my almost 30 year old daughter was a sick baby. The phone person who is calling me to check on an order, who cant even see me, but knows me from the store, asks me how I am doing in the heat and if I need anything.

I dont remember this kind of kindness as a younger femme. I have had butches open doors for me but honestly, everyone does it for me now. And I know I dont look THAT old. But old enough. I smile alot..and i always look for people's eyes...I catch them alone in the world, and somehow make contact with them and they respond in kindness. I am moving slower nowadays and I think people see this too. I hurt alot, and never without it, so this probably is seen on me too. But I also smile..always. Always. And not out of pretense. Its because I am smiling inside. I am so out of my former worlds of despair and loneliness and fear and anger. I think sometimes we walk around with those four emotions and it keeps the world out. When they are gone, it lets the world in. And i think that really has alot to do with age. the older I get, the less time i want to give to those four emotions...