Online dating and when to ask out?

[Ender]

I've been messaging this girl back and forth, and I really don't want to fuck this up. I really like her, but when's a good time to ask her out? (A month, two, a couple weeks?)

[girl_dee]

if you are close in proximity why not ask her for coffee or lunch to break the ice? i think now would be a good time for that.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

if you are close in proximity why not ask her for coffee or lunch to break the ice? i think now would be a good time for that.

I agree with dee. I think a couple of exchanges is enough to ask to mee for coffee/lunch if you live close to each other.

I always liked to meet sooner rather than later when I did the online dating thing.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Ender

I've been messaging this girl back and forth, and I really don't want to fuck this up. I really like her, but when's a good time to ask her out? (A month, two, a couple weeks?)

I agree with the other posters.

Sooner, rather than later.

We project so much of our own feelings onto someone else in texting and messaging.

Meeting in person is the only way to truly know if what you think that you are feeling is "real".

A simple, low-pressure, coffee date first: always.

Then, you can take it from there. It either will feel right or it won't.

Most important: don't talk yourself out of any red flags or gut feelings.

[easygoingfemme]

Absolutely - low pressure not even necessarily a date- but casual coffee/lunch sooner than later. I feel like the energy you have together in person is super important to feel out early on.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

Absolutely - low pressure not even necessarily a date- but casual coffee/lunch sooner than later. I feel like the energy you have together in person is super important to feel out early on.

EXACTLY.............

[Dominique]

Don't wait another day.

For me, the chase is always better than the catch. When it feels like the catch was better than the chase, you found the right one.

[kittygrrl]

Enjoy a slow burn...if or when we decide to meet, there are no questions in my mind.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

Enjoy a slow burn...if or when we decide to meet, there are no questions in my mind.

Nah...people can be full of shit...meet them right away! lol

Why be all "into" somebody just to find out you don't jive? You really can't tell if your energy is a match until you are in person.

[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Nah...people can be full of shit...meet them right away! lol

Why be all "into" somebody just to find out you don't jive? You really can't tell if your energy is a match until you are in person.

Dapper, that's not ever been my personal experience although i've heard plenty of horror stories. I'm not fickle when i want something enough and the feeling is mutual, i've never been disappointed. If you don't have an understanding of who you are and what you want then perhaps you have a point..it's just not mine

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

Dapper, that's not ever been my personal experience although i've heard plenty of horror stories. I'm not fickle when i want something enough and the feeling is mutual, i've never been disappointed. If you don't have an understanding of who you are and what you want then perhaps you have a point..it's just not mine

I was actually making a joke when I said people can be full of shit.

But, I do believe that even if we spend a lot of time with people on the phone, text, you still can't get that true sense of a person until you meet them.

I was always very successful dating online. I found many partners that way. I just found that talking for periods of time prior to meeting elongated the process of finding out they were not a person I was going to end up dating or have a friendship with.

Ender seems to have a purpose. Meaning, he isn't just casually looking. He found someone he thinks he might really like. So, that is why I said go for it!

[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I was actually making a joke when I said people can be full of shit.

But, I do believe that even if we spend a lot of time with people on the phone, text, you still can't get that true sense of a person until you meet them.

I was always very successful dating online. I found many partners that way. I just found that talking for periods of time prior to meeting elongated the process of finding out they were not a person I was doing to end up dating or have a friendship with.

Ender seems to have a purpose. Meaning, he isn't just casually looking. He found someone he thinks he might really like. So, that is why I said go for it!

ok lol, but joke or no. This is a sentiment i've heard expressed often.
I once knew an online couple who didn't meet for a few years because of circumstances, when they finally did..no sparks. This intrigues me....but regarding energy exchange..why should there be an expectation (it) may not live up to your expectation? Personally why would i waste my time if i were not sure it would? Energy is energy. i've just never had that experience.
Yes...go for it if you want to..but it reminds me if you need a rush..then obviously be prepared for the inevitable crash j/s

[Ascot]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Most important: don't talk yourself out of any red flags or gut feelings.

I truly believe this is the most important piece of advice in all of this. I agree about meeting sooner than later, but do yourself a huge favor by going with your gut after that meeting in person. And, it may take a few times, but if you feel that something's off, or it just isn't the right fit, don't force it. (You'll only end up with blisters)