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07-14-2012, 12:47 PM
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#241 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
female ones, will also respond to babe, boi and Romeo Relationship Status:
Happy :-) Join Date: May 2012
Location: apearldiver@gmail.com
Posts: 349
Thanks: 2,655
Thanked 1,886 Times in 321 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848   |
Hearing Check may be required....whaaa...????
8yo Mancub found jumping on the bed.
Me: Well it's clear to me we have to go to the doctor next week. Boy: (between jumps) why....Mom...my...I....feel...fine.... Me: because I say "get dressed and brush your teeth" but you hear "this would be an excellent time to jump on the bed in my underpants and drive my mother insane!!!" Boy: (laughs-still jumping) o...Kay...Mom...my...I'll....go ....with....you...(he starts to giggle)....if.....you're....good.....you'll....get .....a......sticker!! Me: Dude. You did not just play me like that....(laughing) Boy: oh yes I did!!! (laughing) Me: I'll give you $500 if you brush your teeth and put on some clothes. Boy: REALLY?!?! Me: No, not really. But I will feed you breakfast. And stop jumping on that bed or Ill duct tape you to the chair. Boy: oh yeah, I hated that....worst 5 minutes ever... |
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07-14-2012, 01:33 PM
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#242 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
yes dear Preferred Pronoun?:
she Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: south florida
Posts: 2,494
Thanks: 3,264
Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
shit heard in the car...
sitting at a stoplight after lunch today...
dixie:aww look honey a poodle me: :looking around: dixie: oh nevermind its just an old ladys head me: .gif "Say What?") dixe and me : 
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07-14-2012, 01:43 PM
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#243 | |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?:
Bitch Relationship Status:
Intertwined deeply 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: We're all a little mad here.
Posts: 6,627
Thanks: 10,972
Thanked 21,385 Times in 4,808 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
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07-14-2012, 08:02 PM
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#244 | |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She or Goddess Relationship Status:
Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 1,322
Thanks: 2,849
Thanked 5,328 Times in 1,045 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Quote:
__________________
 Creativity is a drug I can't do without.-Cecil B. DeMille 
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07-15-2012, 02:20 PM
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#245 | |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
female ones, will also respond to babe, boi and Romeo Relationship Status:
Happy :-) Join Date: May 2012
Location: apearldiver@gmail.com
Posts: 349
Thanks: 2,655
Thanked 1,886 Times in 321 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848 |
Quote:
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07-16-2012, 11:27 AM
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#246 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
female ones, will also respond to babe, boi and Romeo Relationship Status:
Happy :-) Join Date: May 2012
Location: apearldiver@gmail.com
Posts: 349
Thanks: 2,655
Thanked 1,886 Times in 321 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848 |
And can I get extra non-sequitur on the side please?
In the car this morning with the 8yo Mancub, the following conversation took place.
(quietly driving to camp...) Mancub: Mommy, you should stay away from the Zombie Pig Man if you can, they only want one thing. Me:Whhaaaa...??? ---who is Zombie Pig Man?? Mancub: Well he's really not the worst thing you just gotta be careful. Me:Well, that seems wise. Which is worse? The zombie part or the pig part? Mancub:Well, he's not really a man. He's just a Zombie Pig....."AN UNDEAD PIG?"...(said in that tone of voice that questions both my experience with pigs as well as zombies)...and also, you get 10 hearts in the beginning, to stay alive... Me: Much like in life I think...the more hearts you have, the better... Mancub:Moooommmyyyyyy.....!! (whiny voice because I've just derailed him) Me:I love metaphors in the morning. It smells like intellect. Mancub:*sigh* Please turn on the radio. |
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07-22-2012, 12:44 AM
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#247 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
regarding the upcoming jelly making project
me to Syr "ok, my fruit is dripping"
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07-23-2012, 10:34 PM
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#248 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,784
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,107 Times in 3,757 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
after I've returned to the house, sitting here posting about things I'm thankful for...
my phone beeps a text I read: "I'll KILL YA!" ... Me:  "What the hell did I do now?" no answer Me: "I turned the stove off!" no answer Me: "WHAT??!!" phone beeps (typos adding to comedy): "Whn did u put a bottle of water full of lemon juice in my fridge... and do you know what it feels like coming oit of yoir nose" Me: OMFG!!! Me: I didn't put it in the fridge!! You must have picked it up from counter! 2 minutes later, beep: I turned up the bottle and took a big gulp it shocked me so bad it spewed out my nose OMG! me: OMFG!!! ROFLMAO!!! LMAO!!!! (while recalling he had done the same thing recently at a restaurant with a friend) me: Where's the video? them: It was cd and in fridge and LEMONY, LOL ... tbe first thing I thought was damn that was cruel... im killin her! Me: CLEANS out your sinuses them: LORD what is a comical night Me: Can't kill me when I already ran out door!! .... you don't need to snort salt water now!! them: LOL Me: Are you okay?...... if you are, I am still laughing!! them: yeah im ok it was just a shock Me: Thought I ran over your dog the way you yelled! ..... later on, after texting about dog medicine... Me: you sure aspirin will help him? It won't hurt him like it does a little kid? Them: real asporin Me: (chuckling at them using their new phone, and the voice commands that can't understand a southern accent) Ok, I'll see if they sell ASPORIN... them: "sticks tongue out at u" Me: bet it still tastes like lemon!! them: LOL yeah it kinda does! Me: 
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08-07-2012, 11:07 PM
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#249 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,784
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,107 Times in 3,757 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
a text convo...
(after a friend's best buddy -a gay guy- stated "all you lipstick lesbians love Bass Pro Shop instead of Victoria Secrets!"...)
Me: tell him...lipstick lesbians can't handle heavy machinery while wearing high heals and corsets! but when they change into their Timberlands and "I'm the boss" t-shirt...WATCH OUT! Them: LOL...I'll do that... Me: I'll just wear my corset under my t-shirt ;-) to make him happy to call me lipstick lesbian... ;-)  Them: hahahahahahaha ... you crack me up! Me: Just as long as you aren't allergic to super glue! Them: LOL STOP Me: If I crack you up...then I know what to get for your stocking stuffers every Xmas... Them: Too funny Me: joint compound and grout floats! Them: LOL... STOP!! Me: Not until you cry out "stop tickling me!! Or I'll need pull-ups!" ... Them: stop tickling me... I'm not going to admit to pull-ups! Me: squish squish...swish swash (referencing their baby niece that was wearing old fashioned rubber diaper covers when she got into the water and "squished and swished" as she walked...) Me: love to see you smile Them: I am smiling and chuckling...
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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08-16-2012, 08:56 PM
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#250 |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?:
other 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Patrick Springs, VA
Posts: 2,812
Thanks: 9,247
Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
" no more zombie licking! "
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08-17-2012, 05:33 AM
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#251 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
I see the world thru a lens Preferred Pronoun?:
Yes Boss Relationship Status:
Chillin out with awesome women 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 1,376
Thanks: 4,018
Thanked 4,185 Times in 1,179 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Stuff said around the house
Do you eat peanut butter on everything. Um no theres ketcup,salt,pepper ,sugar and salsa (lol)
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08-18-2012, 11:48 AM
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#252 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: .
Posts: 2,905
Thanks: 4,151
Thanked 5,831 Times in 1,721 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Shit heard around this beach.
Maria, not a fan of sand, hot sun, or crowds:
"Their conversation is the soundtrack from the production of Hell." "This is the waiting room to Hell." "Do I look Goth enough?" We'll go back to the beach in winter...
__________________
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken |
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08-25-2012, 11:19 AM
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#253 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
that grrl Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, grrl, piranha, monkey Relationship Status:
captured.... 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 377
Thanks: 1,054
Thanked 1,456 Times in 311 Posts
Rep Power: 13998705 |
Things heard around this bed...
"....you just made my god damn fuckin' eyebrow hurt...."
__________________
------------------------------------ ~pink  "I‘m heir to madness. Vessel of perversion. Your nightmare should you cross me." ((Want to read about my life in Hawaii and my ongoing war against the roosters and my pony size dog and my wedding?)) http://www.alohafemme.wordpress.com/ |
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08-25-2012, 11:40 AM
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#254 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Klingon Preferred Pronoun?:
She 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby
Posts: 3,115
Thanks: 7,546
Thanked 7,480 Times in 1,809 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
While riding in the new truck yesterday....
Me: Yeah, it needs something, it's kinda boring.
The Boy: You could paint it pink. Me: No, the pink would clash with the red. Maybe camo. The Boy: Nothing says "butch" like a pink camo truck. LOL That kid cracks me up. |
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09-12-2012, 02:40 PM
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#255 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6,100
Thanks: 29,380
Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Packing for reunion...
Bully "Oh i like these shorts, let's pack these" Belle "Ok, which shirt do you wear with them" Bully "What do you mean? Any of my shirts go with them" Belle "No they don't. Pick out a shirt that matches and we will pack them together" Bully holds up a random shirt Belle "No, that is black not blue it doesn't match those shorts, it matches your blue shorts" Bully "Oh dear god i never knew packing was so intense and complicated." Belle: *thinking...how did she ever get by without me.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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09-12-2012, 02:53 PM
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#256 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
What I said:
"Baby, my shoulder hurts pretty badly. I can't even pick up the coffee pot to pour my coffee this morning" The part she thought that she heard: "I can't even lick the coffee pot" to which I said: "I'm not that desperate for coffee this morning baby"
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09-12-2012, 03:00 PM
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#257 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
Syr : "We need a bigger fuckery suitcase"
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09-12-2012, 03:29 PM
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#258 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: .
Posts: 2,199
Thanks: 1,527
Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Bear to girl: you can take my cane if you can get off the crutches. The big black one. It'll match your dresses.
Me: Oh boy. Bear to girl: just don't go swinging it around. It's heavy duty 10 pounds. Girl laughs Me: blink blink. Me wandering off, muttering: don't nobody piss her off in little rock |
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09-14-2012, 10:04 AM
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#259 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
FTM Preferred Pronoun?:
guy ones Relationship Status:
... Join Date: May 2011
Location: chillin' in FL
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 21,951
Thanked 9,678 Times in 2,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Z talking to our pup about getting in the blankets next to me: Babygirl, what's wrong, is daddy tooting.
Me: Babe I think you toot more. Five minutes later I toot. LOL  
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09-14-2012, 10:37 AM
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#260 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
a round peg in a square hole Preferred Pronoun?:
Guess... Relationship Status:
Seat taken 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Rocky Mountain High
Posts: 2,491
Thanks: 2,199
Thanked 10,057 Times in 2,078 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Me: hey babe, can we stay at the Bareback inn again for your birthday?
Justin: the what!? Me: the Bareback inn?? Justin: (laughing) don't you mean the Back Bay Inn? Me: Ohhh hahahaha! *red face*
__________________
"It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to fall down. Get up! Look sickening....and make them eat it!" - Latrice Royale Starry
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Linear Mode
