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Old 06-18-2014, 04:06 PM   #1021
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my mothers pit bull pup....

she's discovered bugs! Now she spends heaps of her outside time looking at the ground.....ears perked...snuffing the grass here and there....lol Its the cutest thing ever.... I keep waiting for her to hear a Who....
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Old 06-21-2014, 10:48 PM   #1022
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Being distracted...can lead you in the wrong direction. Like missing your turn off, well, two of them to be exact. Using only a few choice words, lol. Then getting stuck in traffic going the wrong way. Making only one u-turn and realizing.....maybe traffic was on my side today..

Lol lol
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:31 PM   #1023
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:33 PM   #1024
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I was walking into work and a friend showed me something from facebook.
It said....If I died today and went to hell,
it would take me at least a week to realize I'm not at work!

That cracked me up!
(sadly, it's true)
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Old 06-24-2014, 08:59 PM   #1025
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Default what cracked you up today.

Watching my friend get splash by a car when it drove into a puddle ....then not paying attention same puddle different car got me ....Karma ....nothing to do but LOL...goodtimes!
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Old 06-24-2014, 10:19 PM   #1026
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Watching Riley and Peppa run laps through the house going between my roomate and I
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Old 06-24-2014, 11:08 PM   #1027
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Early this morning when my coworker was telling me how to say naughty things in Spanish!
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Old 06-28-2014, 08:27 AM   #1028
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My poodle Jacques.....he got a cookie and decided to "bury" it in my shirt.....
I guess Im trustworthy then?
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Old 06-28-2014, 08:30 AM   #1029
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Old 06-28-2014, 08:31 AM   #1030
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Default Note to self....close door when practicing pole dancing

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Old 06-29-2014, 09:47 AM   #1031
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my local restaurant....at which my daughter's childhood bff waitresses....

they have implemented a no swearing policy.....complete with a swear jar.....they got 2 dollars from my stepfather this morning
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Old 06-29-2014, 10:03 AM   #1032
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The look on my dogs face when he woke up on the patio this morning!

Omg, priceless!
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Old 06-29-2014, 08:01 PM   #1033
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when taking out the trash veggies to the deer to feed on...tossed it out forward, and the wind picked up just then and blew it back onto me.

Just live with the visual...lol lol (no one saw)
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Old 06-29-2014, 08:21 PM   #1034
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Default fishing with my eldest

fishing off the bridge with my eldest.....when suddenly her lure goes flying as shes casting.....
she gasps in dismay and tells me its her favorite lure.....
long story short.....we end up going down the side of the embankment to fish out a silly floaty frog.....and yet we caught nothing......but it sure was fun
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Old 07-09-2014, 05:24 AM   #1035
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Old 07-17-2014, 07:18 PM   #1036
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Getting into an online debate with someone over Gays and the religious agenda and them getting pissed off and telling me that they were a Christian and that I needed to "read my fucking Bible".

ROTF!
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:36 AM   #1037
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Old 08-01-2014, 03:25 PM   #1038
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Old 08-02-2014, 05:29 PM   #1039
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
Ok, I looked and couldnt find this thread so if it exists already I apologize.


I just cracked up because Jack accidentally pushed the wrong #s on the tv remote and it asked her if she wanted to pay per view a show called "Filthy Suck Sluts 2".

She yelled at me "BAAAAABBBEEEE, you need to get this porno shit OFF OF MY FUCKING TV"

so she proceeds to flail her arms and push multiple buttons and another show pops up. This time its "Big Horny Wet Asses 7"

She yelled again, "BAAABBBEEEEEEE, there's some WET ASSES and shit on the tv and I WANT IT OFF OF THERE" and by this time, I was laughing so hard that I could barely see the tv anyway.

So she whips her head around at me while I was bent over laughing behind her and she says, "BAAABBBEEEEEE, isnt there a way to block this shit? I dont want the family coming over here at Christmas and being embarrassed by Filthy Fisting Whores or Slutty Gooch Suckers...I mean, THIS SHIT IS NOT IN THE FUCKING HOLIDAY SPIRIT"

ROTFLMAOOOO
Now that cracked me up OMG.
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Old 08-06-2014, 04:52 AM   #1040
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So last night I told my 11 year old that she could stay up a little later but that mama didn't feel good and needed to go to sleep. "Be good," I said. "I will mama," she said. So I wake up this morning and go into the bathroom to find a toothpaste explosion. Blue toothpaste everywhere! At least I know she brushed her teeth before bed. Lol
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