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Old 04-09-2017, 10:54 AM   #361
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Ooooops, got carried away and posted in the femme zone... sorry!
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Old 04-09-2017, 01:50 PM   #362
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I like to be treated as if I were important and worthy of my partner's time and consideration. I like old school manners and someone who is capable of engaging with me on many levels.

This is a previous post and it still stands true.




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Word.

I don't care how good you smell or how sexy you are. If you can't hold a conversation with me, sometimes even using big words and abstract concepts, then any initial attraction goes down the drain real fast. I like handsome faces and bodies, but if your brain isn't working on all cylinders, that's a big no from me.

Obviously, as I've grown older and wiser, different things tick off different boxes for me. Now, it's less about the butch, FTM or TG version of the Mustang with a Hemi motor and more about the fun but reliable SUV version of a butch, TG or FTM guy.

Sometimes a girl likes to take her time getting to where she's going and likes to know that she'll get there in one piece and without a stopover in jail.

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Old 06-28-2017, 04:03 AM   #363
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Electrocell you and i chatted about this before, and i have thought about it since then..

IMO regarding flowers or any other nicety, it depends on the conversations and situation leading up to the "meeting".

Showing up to pick someone up at home for a date, with some flowers.. to be escorted on a date can be a good thing.

If iv'e been chatting to you online and you show up with a bouquet of flowers at a concert for example, at out first meeting i may feel uncomfy about that. Especially if i don't like attention drawn to myself, that would be overdoing it for me. Trying too hard. Just meet me for some conversation and coffee in clean clothes, sober, with your respect in tact and that would go way further than flowers.

i do agree first dates are about getting to know each other. i've never been impressed with flowers per se, now a nice fishing rod, that would impress me. At least it required a thought process about me.

However, i do like a simple daisy.

Update!

It depends on who the date is with. If we are romantically involved, please do go all out. At this stage in my life i would like to know i am important and that you are present with me. i've never liked the attention that spoiling me comes with, but i am over it. Spoil me.

If we are on a first date you obviously have my interest. Talk about something engaging, lose the cellphone, notice me and expect me to notice you. On a first date i am about gathering information, and to see if there will be a second. Maybe they won't want a second, and thats fine too.

Be a good tipper if you are paying and walk me to my car.

Don't forget to make sure i got home okay.




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Old 07-15-2017, 09:34 AM   #364
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Respectfully and like a Lady.
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Old 07-15-2017, 11:02 AM   #365
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I like to be treated well
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Old 07-15-2017, 12:37 PM   #366
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This is difficult to find these days. Especially the latter part. No one has attentive time or interest. So many are constantly absorbed with themselves, social media and what is always going on with everyone else. Some don't understand what substance really is, at an intimate level, at least to a girl who has a very active & deep multi-faceted mind and soul.

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I like old school manners and someone who is capable of engaging with me on many levels.
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Old 07-15-2017, 12:42 PM   #367
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This is difficult to find these days. Especially the latter part. No one has attentive time or interest. So many are constantly absorbed with themselves, social media and what is always going on with everyone else. Some don't understand what substance really is, at an intimate level, at least to a girl who has a very active & deep multi-faceted mind and soul.
i totally agree. if i feel i have lost someones attention to social media or a cellphone, while on a date, i check out.
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Old 07-15-2017, 12:43 PM   #368
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It would be nice to be on an actual date. I don't think I've ever been taken on a real date before. I'm not hard to please, but spontaneously stopping at local fast food doesn't count anymore.
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:31 PM   #369
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Treat me like I'm Waterford Crystal ......
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:34 PM   #370
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Treat me like I'm Waterford Crystal ......
You mean delicately or spray a bit of Windex on ya to shine ya up......
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:37 PM   #371
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You mean delicately or spray a bit of Windex on ya to shine ya up......
Thou shalt not spray any windex on me, like in the film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, *LOL*

<<<<~~ Delicate, very delicate (but durable).
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Old 07-15-2017, 02:13 PM   #372
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I enjoy old school chivalry with the flowers and door-opening and a fancy dinner and a certain "formality".

But I also enjoy super casual dates in jeans and heels where we are eating chicken wings and drinking beer and watching the game.
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Old 07-15-2017, 05:39 PM   #373
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thinking on this it depends on who the date is with.

One common thing is being able to have a decent conversation and have a laugh..
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Old 07-15-2017, 11:05 PM   #374
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Question

I've never been on a date before, so I don't know what use I'd be answering this.
My favourite is if they were really respectful, that would make me so happy!

I would also like

ermm ...

Good manners/politeness to the staff, wherever we go.
No loudness.
No drunkness.
Someone who doesn't keep looking at their phone (I hate this, it makes me feel like shit ).
Someone who can keep a conversation going (because I don't know how to).
No butting in/talking over me when I eventually do manage a sentence out.
...
No constant bragging/showing off/me me me.
No looking at other women, ever (instant deal breaker)!
No extravagance (unless it's a mutual decision), I cannot handle it. I'd be so happy going to McDonald's, or the likes, and always splitting the bill. I also really hate surprises, of any kind (they freak me out).
....
Make sure I got home safely.

.......

I can't think of any more, at the moment. Just to get to know each other and hopefully fall in love.

I really don't know. No one's ever treated me special, in that way. I think it might weird me out a wee bit.
I think I'd cope with 'normalness'(?).



Omg, I've just re-read what I've written and I sound so bossy! .. Dreading posting this.
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Old 07-15-2017, 11:09 PM   #375
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Exclamation

Whenever my Mum would go on dates with her ex, he would always order more food whenever it was his turn to pay. She didn't like this.

She wants to be put on a pedestal, and to feel like number 1.
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Old 07-16-2017, 04:41 AM   #376
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he would always order more food whenever it was his turn to pay. She didn't like this.

OOPS! I meant to write "whenever it was HER turn to pay". It won't let me edit it, sorry!
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Old 08-04-2017, 02:06 PM   #377
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I'm not dating right now (just being single for the moment).

I don't date people I don't know. So I don't do blind first dates. Got sick and tired of meeting people for the first time on a first date.

So, we will be hanging out (just having a meal together, or coffee, talking - talking is a big part of getting to know you, maybe doing a couple things of shared interest), not dating, till I know you well enough to know if I *want* a date with you and you with me.

Dates I like?

Shared interests:

science stuff! - visit the particle collider at UBC, go to the science museum, get tickets to Nerd Night, or tickets to any of the science shows or lectures, history of science or medicine, or philosophy.

anything to do with museums, galleries, planetarium, or aquarium.

go to a lake for a swim, or wading at Spanish Banks or any UBC beaches.

cinema at the Rio/Cinematique (alternative cinemas that show non-hollywood or "B" flicks).

go to a sci fi fan light show at the planetarium or a documentary at the IMAX.

take out sushi lunch on the rooftop garden of my building.

Please don't get drunk or smoke pot during our date (or before). Have a drink or two, sure - but anything past a bit tipsy is a turn off. Save the joint for when you are with your mates or on your own - if you can't, then I'm not a person to date for you.

Please don't expect me to talk with you every day. Please have your own life, your own friends, your own hobbies. I want to share some of those with you, not merge into each other.

My job is really physical (so physical the government guidelines are no more than 24 hours of work in a week) so I don't want to hike a mountain or go snow shoeing on my days off.

If we get to know each other well enough that I think we'll get on for longer blocks of time together, then I'll be happy to go on three day "camping" trips that don't require me sleeping on the ground. Cards, board games, and movies in those evenings; swimming, snorkeling, lake, forest or beach walks in the afternoons. Tea in bed with books and sex in the morning. I LOVE a lay in! Lovely brunches with a view.

3 day city breaks are fun too! Exploring new cities.

I'd love to have a week holiday in Istanbul or Marrakech.
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Old 08-31-2017, 09:58 AM   #378
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As I was reading these, it struck me I hadn't had a first date at all. Ever. My dates were usually extended visits to me and not a single, "let's do this on this date and time." That made me sad.
I don't expect a gift unless we've been communicating for long enough for you to know what might be appropriate. Best gift I ever got were door pulls in the shape of a pink heart and a pink star.
Please don't bring flowers. You probably won't know that I love carnations. Also, if I have a cat (I don't at the present time) flowers are a nuisance as I don't know a cat that doesn't love them.
Be clear up front. I was brought up that the inviter paid unless something else was agreed upon in advance. I don't mind going dutch given the price of everything these days.
You should be sparling clean; it's not necessary that the exterior of your car match. The interior should be clean (I'm never driving on a date. Oh wait, I only have a scooter now. Never mind.)
Please don't plan to spend a lot of money. This is a first date. I'll be more impressed by you than by what we do. Please make it somewhere we can talk and hear each other. You know the restaurants you can't hear yourself think much less anyone else speak; avoid them. No coffee houses please; I don't drink coffee and the scent of coffee does not appeal to me.
What you do and how you do it will factor in to the decision on a second date.
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Old 08-31-2017, 01:30 PM   #379
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It would be nice to be on an actual date. I don't think I've ever been taken on a real date before. I'm not hard to please, but spontaneously stopping at local fast food doesn't count anymore.
:::thinking somebody should remedy this:::
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Old 10-04-2017, 11:04 PM   #380
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I was talking to someone in the chat room the other night and I made the remark that I can't afford date anyone right now. The femme I was talking to asked me why I feel that it takes money, and for me it comes down to how I treat a femme on a date.

I personally would really like to know how to be a better date so that someday, if I ever can afford to date again, I can do it better. Thanks in advance!

It really doesn't take money to date a person. If I was interested in dating anyone (I'm not)
these are... Dates I would enjoy, that I'm writing about because you can use them in your situation.

movie night at home (a nice film - or just a great tv show, bowl of cherries, plate of cheese and crackers). Cost- maybe $10? You can leave the cherries out if you like.
The price could be less just by having dinner at home with the movie - salad fixings are cheap.

going for a hike where it may be scenic
(bring water and a snack, and a blanket to sit on). With some great conversation and maybe birds nearby or wildlife.


How would I want to be treated?

Hold the door open for me, help me be seated at the table. Intellectual conversation. Absolutely no sexual moves (it would be too early in the dating time period), look into my eyes, act like what you genuinely are - a person of class and taste.

Years ago, this butch in Malibu I was interested in would use scented dryer sheets when doing laundry.. and his shirts would be soft and the scent was nice. I'm saying this as an idea for the butches reading this.

Just some ideas for you...
Here's wishing you all the best.

Deborah
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