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Old 09-22-2010, 02:44 PM   #41
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i'm out everywhere. it's kind of hard to miss that i am lez. i wear pride rings and necklaces. i'm proud of who i am
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Old 09-22-2010, 02:50 PM   #42
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I am out at work...and I work with all straight guys. I have no problems. The guys also try to include my thoughts and opinions on the conversations about women. It's like I am just another guy to them. I really am happy and grateful about that. I am also aware that kitchens are not like other work places...i don't know if I would be so openly gay in a more professional enviroment.
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Old 10-11-2010, 12:51 PM   #43
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I am also out at work, and I agree that it's extremely important... but I do understand that it's sadly just not possible for some people and some working environments. My company is extremely liberal, donated money to fight Prop 8 and includes both sexual orientation and gender expression in its nondiscrimination policy.

Even though I've never made it a secret, occasionally I am surprised to learn that a coworker has worked alongside me for two years and had no idea. Some of my friends joke that I'm a "stealth lesbian," even though I wear little rainbow ring earrings every day... so I recently had thin rainbow bands tattooed around my left wrist, also, of which I am very fond. I'd like to say it helps me be more visible, but I guess that remains to be seen (accidental play on words, but I'm keeping it)! A continuing source of frustration for me is my seeming invisibility sometimes... it's difficult to let all these wonderful butches know I'm here.
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Old 10-11-2010, 12:59 PM   #44
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Old 10-11-2010, 01:05 PM   #45
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I am out at work. For the most part I don't have any trouble. My OR Manager doesn't care for me. I have never had any problems till I started to work at the hospital I am at now.

I just do my job, don't talk about my private life. I do have some good friends there.
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Old 10-11-2010, 01:10 PM   #46
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out at work since day one! Two hours into my first day the other librarians took me to lunch- the very second our waiter left with our drink orders, out came THE QUESTION:

"so, are you married?"

DOH! Do i lie and say yes, or lie and say no? i decided to say "i am engaged but i can't get married because it's illegal here"
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Old 10-11-2010, 01:18 PM   #47
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Yes, I am out at work and everywhere. I just got back home from the BV conference in West Hollywood this past weekend. The topic of "visibility" came up during the "Many Faces of Butch" panel presentation.

It occurred to me that many of us limit visibility to outward appearance. Are you passing or not passing? I think visibility goes to who we see ourselves to be, how do we give that self identity expression and do we invite or participate in educating others? One can be "out" without looking like a stereotype of what it means to be Queer.

Another thing that came to my attention is how important it can be to some of our elders, the ones that came before us and took risks busting down the doors. They see much of this "moving forward" in our community as an attempt to blend in and lose our history, herstory, power. This gives me something to think about. I will not forget. Without the first and second wave of Feminism I do not believe my world as a Transmasculine Butch/Transman would be possible.
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Old 10-11-2010, 01:48 PM   #48
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My co-workers who have taken the time to know me at all, also know about my partner and our life together. I refuse to speak in generalizations or change the gender when I'm talking about what's going on. I do not discuss my life with my clients, though, and some of the nosier ones are under the assumption that I'm engaged to a man. These are senior citizen counseling clients, and there is no good reason to get that personal with them.

While I am out and open, I do feel that my life is personal. Not everyone cares about me or supports me, so I do try to be aware of who I let in. If you know me on Facebook, though, you had better be prepared for some educating.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:12 PM   #49
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Yes. I've been out in every job I've held (bar one) since I was 19.
It was unsafe for me to be out at that one particular job; but I felt incredibly disingenuous none the less.

I feel strongly that I do not wish to work for anyone who is homophobic.
I get the outting out-of-the-way early by citing the work I did with Stonewall Lobby Group and other local queer non-profits on my curriculum vitae.

But I rarely out myself to my "clients"; if I am talking (with them) about myself/my personal life I am not doing my job well.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:34 PM   #50
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Well beign as I started a new job a couple of weeks ago...so far nothing has been said about my queerness.Really they cant miss it,big pride ring on,wear mens clothes,deep voice ect.I work in a religious hospital so im waiting for it to come up but its not anyones buisness about my sexuality.U cn bet I wont deny it if it dose.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:47 PM   #51
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I am out at work
I am out at home
I am out at my children's school (from nursery to college)

The only time I have been told I could not be out with work - was when I was invited to Afghanistan. I can handle that. There are other countries in which I will travel to (third world) that I will not be out. I would face imprisonment or death.
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Old 10-11-2010, 04:51 PM   #52
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Yes, I am out at work--and there are other queers there as well as one hottie femme <g>. Kinda hard to look like me and not be assumed to be a butch dyke. Also, I have the luxury of being out--I live in the San Francisco area, and there are lots of us here. I've always been out.

I don't so much see that we're trying to blend in by hiding what we look like but blend in so that people think we deserve Gay marriage. Not my words, the words of those 10 and 20 years younger than me. I think that many queers face discrimination so best to fly under the radar, not draw attention their way and I totally get that. You've got to do what's safe.

My roots are in counter culture, so fitting in and being the "norm" never occurred to me or seemed fun.

Rope--
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Old 10-11-2010, 05:20 PM   #53
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I've been out every where I've worked but one, the AF. This was before DADT when one could either not join or join and keep ones mouth shut. I was always obvious, but no one ever messed with me. At my MOS I wore a weapon, they knew better.
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Old 10-11-2010, 05:21 PM   #54
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Yes, everywhere.
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Old 10-11-2010, 05:36 PM   #55
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everyone i work with closely knows. if it comes up in any way with those i more casually associate with or on different teams i have no problem letting them know.

Once I'm staff instead of contract (next week) I'll be joining the LGBT group at our office. The company has domestic partnership benefits and a diversity policy that specifically calls out gay/lesbian/trans folk in terms of equal treatment/non discrimination etc. But it's a very large corporation so it kind of has to have those policies in place.
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Old 10-11-2010, 08:59 PM   #56
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I'm out at work... always have been. I just keep it basic. When I start a new job, I just put photos of me and my family up in my cubicle or whatever like anyone else would. I let people ask questions if they choose. I don't make a big deal out of it and I think because of that, others don't make a big deal out of it either (usually).
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Old 10-11-2010, 09:20 PM   #57
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As Timber said, I'm out at work.

I am a medical secretary, and I work for 3-4 physicians, and with a nursing staff of 11. They all know. It's not an issue. They've all met Timber, and like hir.

I don't normally out myself to patients, with the exception of when I'm working with lesbian couples. We do infertility work, and often a woman comes in with her "friend". When we are doing their paperwork for treatment, and I'm helping them with notarized documents, I let them know that I'm family in a subtle way, when it's really clear to me that they are a couple. I tell them that I hate that they have to sign documents that say they are a single woman, because our state won't acknowledge same sex couples as having rights to have children together. When they relax, I let them know that I'm family, too. It so often opens them up, and lets them feel more comfortable and reassured that they won't be judged in a negative way. I always wish them luck before I go. Sometimes they see me again, while in the office once they are pregnant. It's always special to me, when they take a moment to thank me. It's nothing that I do, but make them feel as at home as any other patient or couple. They have a right to a family, too.

WT

P.S. A couple of months ago, I was talking with a few of my nurses, and said something about being engaged. One of them said, "You can't be engaged. You can't get married." I told her, "Marriage is a ceremony to join two spirits, therefore, not only can I be engaged, I can get married. The government just won't recognize it." Others around looked at her and laughed at her for not thinking that far ahead. They had to agree with me.
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Old 10-11-2010, 11:26 PM   #58
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It hurts my heart to say I am not out at work. I am an educator and I live in a very conservative state and my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss are all religious zealots (and not the groovy kind).

I do not discuss my personal life with my coworkers because I don't want to lie to them. I have told a couple of people who I am friends with and they understand the need for discretion. I hate that I have to be closeted, I mean really hate it. I am just biding my time until I complete my master's degree and can find a job somewhere that it will be if not celebrated than at least ignored.
Cold comfort that.
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Old 10-12-2010, 04:24 AM   #59
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A dear friend of mine is a gay male and he's a teacher at an elementary school. He is out with his coworkers and staff and they are very supportive because he's a great teacher and the kids love him. I think he's out with a few of the parents, but not all. It still impresses me since this is in Virginia.

I know you'll find a place that welcomes you completely! Don't lose hope!


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Originally Posted by Venus007 View Post
It hurts my heart to say I am not out at work. I am an educator and I live in a very conservative state and my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss are all religious zealots (and not the groovy kind).

I do not discuss my personal life with my coworkers because I don't want to lie to them. I have told a couple of people who I am friends with and they understand the need for discretion. I hate that I have to be closeted, I mean really hate it. I am just biding my time until I complete my master's degree and can find a job somewhere that it will be if not celebrated than at least ignored.
Cold comfort that.
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Old 10-12-2010, 06:15 AM   #60
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Sadly I'm not out at work its an internship so I don't want to influence them in any way. But it is great that everyone else can be. Maybe when I get a full time position some place then I will come out!!
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