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Old 12-24-2010, 06:59 PM   #61
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Default Shit Heard Around My Mama's House

Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"
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Old 12-24-2010, 07:02 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by shadows papa View Post
Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"





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Old 12-24-2010, 07:11 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by princessbelle View Post
OMG bad bois!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huggles my pinky girl.

An hour is a LONG time.

No matter what those two say....shrugs or no shrugs.

You got my vote girl.

ps it's scary how close alike those two think huh.

Thank you PURE BELLE! Muah....and, yes, vewy skeery, those two!
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Old 12-24-2010, 07:23 PM   #64
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The extra love n care around here is just oozing these days.


"...I sucked the pickle juice off before I put it in yer tuna.
I didn't want it to get all soggy"

What makes this comment extra Speshel?

Daywalker said it to the Mrs. Daywalker.
........
Not the other way around.

Wwweeeeeeeee


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Old 12-24-2010, 07:28 PM   #65
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We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.

I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it.

He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?"

I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously."

Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath.

Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT.
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Old 12-24-2010, 08:35 PM   #66
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We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"



Yes, we have high standards at our home.
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Old 12-24-2010, 08:59 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.

I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it.

He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?"

I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously."

Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath.

Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT.
You need heat in TExas I didn't know that wow it must be really dreary and damp well its cold here in the northeast but expected at this time of year!! And its funny that you wrote that on the window with a squiggle underneath I really think that the cops will think nothing of it..but I got a laugh anyway thanks..
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Old 12-25-2010, 07:40 PM   #68
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*said to Zoe (my cat) as she is twirled around in my lap earlier while trying to get comfortable*

Please remove your paw from my crotch. Her response?
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Old 12-26-2010, 06:42 AM   #69
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During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...

Me: "Its clear this way."

Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway"

Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive!
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Old 12-26-2010, 09:09 AM   #70
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My 21 year old incredibly spoilt daughter who's visiting from Israel and who seems oblivious to the fact that Christmas does not just 'happen' by itself (in response to my request that she pick up something from right in front of her on the floor)...

''Oooooooooooh Maaaaaaama, come on, you want me to bend? I'm tiiiiiiiiiired.''

*Sigh.*

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Old 12-26-2010, 10:37 AM   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"



Yes, we have high standards at our home.


i can feel Organic on this...i mean if you are gonna stab someone you GOT to do it right! sheeesh
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Old 12-26-2010, 10:40 AM   #72
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Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."







I'm on it!
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Old 12-26-2010, 07:08 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by TickledPink View Post
Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."







I'm on it!
Ask hym if hys ears are cold *devilish grin*

(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!)
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Old 12-26-2010, 07:15 PM   #74
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first, I need to set up what was going on. on t.v. the news had a story about Gene Keady ( who was Purdue University basketball coach ) was selling some of his items. My sister was watching it and I was walking thru the family room.

News dude : Gene Keady is selling his six foot nutcracker soldiers

my sister: wow. that would definitely crack your nuts!

me: i keep walking thru while looking at her like this
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well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:10 AM   #75
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Originally Posted by TickledPink View Post
Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."







I'm on it!
That's what thighs are for!
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:23 AM   #76
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my very smart 7 year old daughter to me* Mama what are these (holding Desd birth control pills) so I tell her and her responce ...... Mama Hide them as she runs away with them I want a little brother HUH say what
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Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
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Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:33 PM   #77
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That's what thighs are for!
Hmmm.... a combination hand warmer/book holder among other things??? I'm all for THAT!!
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:59 PM   #78
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Ask hym if hys ears are cold *devilish grin*

(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!)
I have not heard it! Waiting on post
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:44 PM   #79
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I have not heard it! Waiting on post
Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"

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Old 12-27-2010, 05:38 PM   #80
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Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"


Brrrrrr.... my ears are freezin off!
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