Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > RELATIONSHIPS, COMMUNITY, GROUPS > BUTCHES, FEMMES, AND TRANS FOLKS OF COLOR

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-29-2016, 03:15 PM   #1
catlady
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme Lesbian
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Engaged
 
catlady's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 79
Thanks: 85
Thanked 246 Times in 62 Posts
Rep Power: 2454737
catlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputation
Default Interracial Relationships

Out of curiosity, how many of you are in interracial relationships? And how did your family react if they know?

I'm Chinese-American dating a Caucasian woman. My parents are very conservative, but I felt my dad was mostly bothered the most that my SO wasn't Asian. She's also an artist, so I wondered if she was a doctor or lawyer instead he would respect her a bit more. Also I think my parents believe I was corrupted by Western culture but the lesbian scene is popular in China and Hong Kong I believe.

The fun part being in an interracial relationship is I like to make her try authentic Chinese food and teach her Cantonese words
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
My FictionPress: www.fictionpress.com/~thecrazycatlady
catlady is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to catlady For This Useful Post:
Old 08-29-2016, 05:15 PM   #2
Rugged
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
SHE please
Relationship Status:
Single
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 71
Thanks: 7
Thanked 253 Times in 61 Posts
Rep Power: 3055118
Rugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST ReputationRugged Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Not currently involved in an interracial relationship.(or any relationship)
However, I was with a relationship with a Caucasian woman for 7 years.
I would say it was the best time of my life, but I would be lying.
Not that she was bad, but most of the people around us could not seem
to adapt. Her family loved me to pieces, and my family loved her.

The town I lived in at the time embraced us. But the people in her town
always seemed to think I was the nanny or some type of help to her and her family. It got a bit annoying, but we didn't break.
Cant really say anything bad. We just had a lot of growing and learning
to do. Would I do it again? Of course.
Rugged is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Rugged For This Useful Post:
Old 08-29-2016, 06:05 PM   #3
dark_crystal
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
jenny
Preferred Pronoun?:
babygirl
Relationship Status:
First Lady of the United SMH
 
dark_crystal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 4,567
Thanks: 1,296
Thanked 21,887 Times in 3,849 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
dark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputationdark_crystal Has the BEST Reputation
Default

My wife is Mexican and I am extremely Anglo (had dna test through Ancestry, am 82% Irish and English with a little Scandinavian lol)

When I was just starting to date, and ostensibly straight, my family would have freaked out, but more over the Catholic issue than the Mexican one.

I have lived with two previous partners that were black. Neither one worked out but that was due to issues that were not primarily rooted in race, although the effects of racism/transphobia on their life experiences likely did play a role in terms of how one of them handled conflict. I would not hesitate to pursue another interracial relationship

Finding a non-toxic partner was so hard that I took all considerations regarding race, age, and size out of the equation years ago!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dark_crystal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to dark_crystal For This Useful Post:
Old 08-29-2016, 06:34 PM   #4
BullDog
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NM
Posts: 4,702
Thanks: 16,787
Thanked 20,484 Times in 3,895 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I am white and have dated/partnered with women of color. I would definitely again.

As far as families go, I usually get along well with my partner's family so there hasn't been a lot of issues. When there has, it seemed to be more about same sex than me being white, as far as I know.

It was a very eye-opening experience for me to date a black woman in Portland, OR. It is a very white city, although there are of course people of color who live there and a well-established black community in North Portland - which is where my girlfriend was born and grew up. She talked to me about a lot about things and especially us being out and about town as an interracial same sex couple. She seemed concerned about my safety and that being interracial increased the chances of danger. I wondered if I would put her more at risk since I am butch. We were affectionate in public and never ran into any problems, but I definitely learned a lot from her and experienced Portland in a very different way than just by myself or out with other white people. She was always hyper vigilant about her surroundings and she was born and raised there, in this so-called very liberal city.

I had a Mexican American partner that I lived with in Southern California. One thing that really bothered her a lot was her being American constantly being called into question. One of her grandfathers did emigrate legally from Mexico. One of my grandmothers was born in Sweden and moved to the U.S as a child, so that is the same generation as her grandfather, but of course no one has ever questioned whether I am American or how long my family has been here, etc.

Overall, I definitely have noticed the women of color that I have dated or partnered with definitely feel the need to be very aware of their surroundings and get called into question or treated in ways on a regular basis that I as a white person have never experienced. So I have seen the world in different ways than I would if I was partnered with a white person.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 08-29-2016, 07:07 PM   #5
CherylNYC
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme lesbian
Preferred Pronoun?:
I'm a woman. Behave accordingly.
Relationship Status:
Single.
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,235
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 6,042 Times in 989 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
CherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST ReputationCherylNYC Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I'm white and I've dated/partnered with many women of color. I'm a New Yorker, so the law of averages will kick in when you live in a racially diverse place like NYC. That said, I like to think of myself as a strong ally for POC, and I speak out often to other white people about racial injustice, so it's possible that women of color may feel less unsafe when they date me than they would dating a white woman who needs more education. I hope I'm not flattering myself.

I agree with Bully. I see the world differently when I'm with a POC. No matter how many anti-racism workshops I attend, nothing replaces the lived experience of witnessing how differently white people behave when they encounter people who aren't white. I think it's a positive thing that I haven't lost my anger about it.

I'm dating someone who is Mexican American. So far we haven't experienced any overt racism as a couple, BUT... I'm an ardent, life-long feminist and she sometimes struggles with the cultural Latin machismo within her. She would probably object to that characterization, or at least to the part about struggling, but we've had some conflicts over who pays for what. And then she says, "This is my culture". We joke about it, but when her sister heard that I'm a feminist she laughed her head off and said, "Let me know how that works out".

Another cultural conflict between us which could come up later is that she's Catholic and I'm a Pagan/Wiccan. So far, so good. But I think if I ever meet her family my spiritual practice will become a problem.
__________________
Cheryl
CherylNYC is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to CherylNYC For This Useful Post:
Old 08-29-2016, 10:12 PM   #6
catlady
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme Lesbian
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Engaged
 
catlady's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 79
Thanks: 85
Thanked 246 Times in 62 Posts
Rep Power: 2454737
catlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputationcatlady Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CherylNYC View Post
Another cultural conflict between us which could come up later is that she's Catholic and I'm a Pagan/Wiccan. So far, so good. But I think if I ever meet her family my spiritual practice will become a problem.
I am also a Pagan, but my SO is very accepting of my beliefs. She used to be a Christian but now identifies as agnostic. Her family, however, especially her mother is a hardcore Christian. She constantly asks my SO if I am "saved" and wants her to convert me into a Christian. I was raised in a Buddhist polytheistic family, so Paganism is a natural path for me. We have to lie to her family that I am a Buddhist to avoid conflict... her mother would definitely flip if she found out I am Pagan. Even despite my SO lies that I am Buddhist using the excuse that it was the religion I was raised with, her mother still thinks I can convert which I find offensive.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
My FictionPress: www.fictionpress.com/~thecrazycatlady
catlady is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to catlady For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:09 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2013