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Old 12-21-2009, 02:56 PM   #21
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Fortunately, I have never done anything unseemly. I am however enjoying all of your misfortunes very much!

Prowler + Jack + Karaoke Machine = Priceless

I need to dig that picture out.
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Old 12-21-2009, 06:46 PM   #22
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LMFAO!


[QUOTE=Medusa;24090]

When the music started, I began singing.

People immediately covered their ears.

It was THAT BAD.

What came out of my mouth wasnt singing. It was some ancient, diseased, inhuman CATTERWALLING that probably could have been considered an instrument of torture. I immediately knew that something was wrong. My voice sounded MUCH MUCH different on the mic than it did in the car! I sounded like a dying cat. Like a person in great pain at the dentist office. Like a cow that had been run over and needing to be put out of its misery.

I looked out at the audience desperately for some comfort. Where was my brother? If I could just see his face, I could maybe find the notes and actually stay on tune?
Where was he, you ask? He was slunk down in the booth with his face covered in shame. He peaked up at me through splayed fingers and shook his head. It was THAT BAD.

To add great insult to injury, I was so drunk that I forgot to pay attention to the words on the screen and had been singing *what I thought* were the words for the entire song.

Instead of "Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine.....", I had been singing:

"HOMESICK WEREWOLF, YOU ARE A PASTY LIME."

In short, I want to tell you all that I was so embarrassed that I rarely do karaoke again without remembering that level of embarrassment. And YES, I still sing karaoke. Badly. And Often. Because really, sometimes you just gotta sing like nobody but you can hear it anyway.[/QUO]
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:05 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Arwen View Post
Y'all are making me HOWL with laughter here.

ONE of my embarrassing moments (Gods know I have many) involved me wrapping up a tech support call while proofreading an email I was sending to a partner.

Instead of saying, "Thank you for calling XXX. I'm glad I could help you today."

I said, "Thank you for calling XXX. I love you."

There was a pause.


I did this after a car accident. I called Hawk right away then called my boss. I was so shook up and he said just take your time. I said I will. I love you. He never mentioned it.


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Old 12-21-2009, 08:07 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Boots13 View Post
Embarass myself? LOL, which time?

How about the crazy guy that filled two tube socks full of unshelled nuts and was swinging them as if wielding war hammers...in front of the courthouse...during lunch break...

and guess who got the call...

I parked the cruiser close enough and after seeing the first sock mangled and walnuts on the roadway, unhitched my mace, approaced
the crazy guy with a whole lotta courthouse onlookers (Judges, Bailiffs, Joe Citizen)
and commanded said Crazy Guy to :

"put your nuts on the hood"
...no compliance..

"I SAID, PUT YOUR NUTS ON THE HOOD"







...nowhere to hide.
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Originally Posted by Arwen View Post
Y'all are making me HOWL with laughter here.

ONE of my embarrassing moments (Gods know I have many) involved me wrapping up a tech support call while proofreading an email I was sending to a partner.

Instead of saying, "Thank you for calling XXX. I'm glad I could help you today."

I said, "Thank you for calling XXX. I love you."

There was a pause.

Then she said, "Customer service has gotten a lot friendlier these days."

OMG! I explained what happened but she was very cool about it. So embarrassed because several co-workers heard it as well.

Boots13, you might enjoy the dispatch calls an ex took.

One was "Man down in woman's bush." The other was "Choking on Morningwood [which was a street]".

The first was responded to with the proper response but the driver's partner was overheard to say, "Do you think he wants to be interrupted." While the second was just met with much hilarity as they hauled off to the call.
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Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau View Post
I know you will all never beleive this but I have a tendancy to do some pretty stupid things.....quite regularly. When I started teaching K-5th grade kids that did not stopp but has increased dramatically:

I have recess duty with 4 other teachers....Dr. Thoreau hollers for the kids to: "Grab your balls its time to go in" other 4 teachers fall on ground in hysterics.....the next day having realized what I said was wrong I holler: 'Ok kids pick up your balls and hold them" other 4 teachers fall on gorund in hysterics........... Day 3.....Will everyone please grab some balls and line up...... other 4 teachers snicker ....Day 4............. "Keep your balls in your hands"........other 4 teachers blame me for needing to wear depends when they are on recess duty..... Day 5........ Ok everyone time to go in...dont forget your balls..............
That was the last day I had recess duty......


Teaching first grades how to do computer things.....They were not getting the right clcik so I decide; " Ok everyone raise your right hand..now i want everyone to show me their RIGHT CLICK finger".....principal walks by as all 30 second graders were giving me the finger (This is now what all the teachers in my school say when they are upset: Oh right click) and the two assistants went running out of the classroom giggling...


I have the kindergartners in my classroom for computer class...."bethany says.... Dr Thoreau...miles is playing with a worm"
I walk over to miles and tell him to give me the worm...he looks at me..I tell him to put the worm in my hand....he looks at me with major apprehension...
As I am repeating myself I realize what a WORM is..... I say " go wash your hands".....and contemplate going in the teachers room and sticking my head in the gas oven.

luckily i keep my shoes clean and i use licorice flavored laces...since i continually have them in my mouth
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Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
I have always wanted to be a singer. I have spent inordinate amounts of time in my car, home, and shower belting out tunes that would bring most folks to their knees. I have warbled loudly with Led Zeppelin, Mariah Carey, and Prince. I have brought myself to tears with the veracity of my voice! I have made my dog weep with joy! My singing! YES! The voice!

Imagine my surprise when my Brother wanted to go out on his 18th birthday and we ended up at a karaoke/strip club. YES, it was a combo. In Arkansas. Imagine that.

After several hours of drinking and watching naked women, people were starting to do karaoke. The urge in me was too great and the little voice in my head said, "Go ahead Angie! WOW the world with your pipes! Show the world that you have been hiding a magical voice under all of that red hair and freckles!"
I just KNEW it would be my big moment! I knew that people would be running up to me , crying, because I had brought such emotion with my song! I knew that record producers would slither out of the dark corners of the club demanding to sign me to recording contracts worth millions of dollars. I knew that my heart would SOAR with all of the love and adoration that people would bestow upon me because of the treasured beauty of my hidden talent! Why, even my own brother would be shocked and amazed by my voice! PEOPLE WOULD BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME AS THE GREATEST SINGER OF ALLLLLL TIME!

I picked a song I knew by heart since I was a little drunk. Well, I wasnt a LITTLE drunk, I was a LOT drunk. I was SO drunk that I had to steady myself on the mic stand when I went up to the front when my name was called.
I squared my feet and assumed what I just knew would be a "star-like" position. Why, I might even play air guitar and sway like AXL ROSE! Because I WAS FUCKING GREATNESS Y'ALL!

Needless to say, when the music started, I had picked the song "Jose Cuervo".
You know the one, an old country standard that would be easy on the pipes (woudlnt want to overwhelm folks rigth off the bat) and I had been singing it since I was 6 so I knew all the words by heart.

When the music started, I began singing.

People immediately covered their ears.

It was THAT BAD.

What came out of my mouth wasnt singing. It was some ancient, diseased, inhuman CATTERWALLING that probably could have been considered an instrument of torture. I immediately knew that something was wrong. My voice sounded MUCH MUCH different on the mic than it did in the car! I sounded like a dying cat. Like a person in great pain at the dentist office. Like a cow that had been run over and needing to be put out of its misery.

I looked out at the audience desperately for some comfort. Where was my brother? If I could just see his face, I could maybe find the notes and actually stay on tune?
Where was he, you ask? He was slunk down in the booth with his face covered in shame. He peaked up at me through splayed fingers and shook his head. It was THAT BAD.

To add great insult to injury, I was so drunk that I forgot to pay attention to the words on the screen and had been singing *what I thought* were the words for the entire song.

Instead of "Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine.....", I had been singing:

"HOMESICK WEREWOLF, YOU ARE A PASTY LIME."

In short, I want to tell you all that I was so embarrassed that I rarely do karaoke again without remembering that level of embarrassment. And YES, I still sing karaoke. Badly. And Often. Because really, sometimes you just gotta sing like nobody but you can hear it anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just_G View Post
Well, I was on my first date with a femme. Dinner was wonderful, we had desert, coffee, and went out to my truck to leave. As I was backing out of the parking spot, I went to look over my right shoulder. She had pulled the mirror down and was applying lipstick. (keep in mind, this shut my filter off immediately!) Then it happened....the words just came out of my mouth...."Oh good, you brought lipstick!" I wanted to run!

I was praying to every single god known to human that I didn't say it out loud...that I somehow managed to retain that thought in my head. NOPE! She then turned to me, holding up her lipstick, with a big smile on her face, replied: "Did you want some?" She looked puzzled. I know I looked horrified that I would say something so stupid.

After that, all my friends started calling me Chandler. If you are a Friends fan at all, there was an episode where Jill Goodacher offered him gum in the vestibule, and he replied "gum would be perfection." He felt as stupid as I did for saying something so crazy stupid to a woman.

"Oh good, you brought lipstick" I have never lived that down and it was about 10 years ago!

Edited to add: I asked her out again after that and got stood up.

Priceless. You all are PRICELESS!
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:35 AM   #25
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'Dusa,

Words fail me. May I steal that wrong lyric for a scene with a very drunk werecat in a werewolf bar? It would be criminal not to put that in print somewhere.
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Old 12-22-2009, 05:01 AM   #26
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ha... wow.. that is kinda embarssing for sure..Arwen
i know i've done some embarrassing things... not meaning to do such a thing..
llike the time..........
i accidently posted something nothing bad...... posted in a wrong window having to 2 web sites up.. shouldnt been multiasking..
then another time.....
posted a joke that got a lot of laff's in a lot of places but then 1 one place got flamed for it... only by a few but still made me feel like a bad person.
that was embarssing ... well for me anyways..
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:49 PM   #27
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Bijoux i wanna read ur hot email and Words theres nothing wrong with poo....

... skipping singing homesick werewolf u are a pasty lime...
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Old 12-29-2009, 11:30 PM   #28
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My butch and I had just finished round one of a rather heated session..

I am in complete Domme mode and tell her not to move.. not even a toe...

I reach for my robe...It had been hanging over one of the posts on our four poster bed.. I pull it off the post and it slid down..

Or rather one of the arms slid down.. THE POST...

Yes, the bed is wearing my robe...

I look at the arm wearing post and ask my butch...

Ummm.. Can you get that for me? I can't reach that high...

Totaly broke the mood and gave me case of the giggles..

Gads... Color me Red...
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Old 05-09-2010, 08:14 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by apocalipstic View Post
Ha!!!! Hugs!~

Glad to.

So one day I went to the tanning bed and it was unvelievably hot in there. When I got out, I just could not imagine putting my bra and panties back on and decided my loose sundress would suffice.

How wrong I was!

I walk out the door and a giant gust of wind blew my dress into my face.
Yes, there I was on the side walk pretty much naked.

I walked straight to my car and drove away.

I did not finish up the rest of my tanning package.
Choking with laugher at this one rofl
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:55 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
OMG. I SO embarrassed right now.

I just sent out an email to an ENTIRE account team and accidentally pasted part of a post that I had made here at the Planet into the body of the email.

I got a phone call from someone who was laughing so hard that I could barely understand her.

So what could I do? I contemplated packing up my desk and quitting, but instead, I sent out a "Mea Culpa" and laughed heartily at myself and told folks that "they better be glad that I wasnt reading an article on embarrassing medical conditions when I accidentally copied and pasted".

Things could have been worse, right? Pardon me while I sit here with a red face for the rest of the day.

In the meantime, could y'all make me feel better and post your most embarrassing stories????
Yeah well when you wake up and send your daughter a text that was intended for the person you were sexting with the night before - THEN you can be embarrassed. Oh, the horror! I tried to make up a believable story. She didn't buy it. Instead she said, "OMG mom - that is just wrong - you totally made me drop the phone and I almost threw up!" THAT is embarrassing!
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Old 05-10-2010, 03:41 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by June View Post
Fortunately, I have never done anything unseemly. I am however enjoying all of your misfortunes very much!

Prowler + Jack + Karaoke Machine = Priceless

I need to dig that picture out.
It could have been a response about nametags..... maybe a lengthy response to Diva regarding a nametag for one " Crotch Cuddler"
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Old 05-10-2010, 03:43 AM   #32
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This is the woman, yes your Admin who asked for a second karaoke machine for Christmas.

Yes a bigger, better, LOUDER karaoke machine.
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Old 05-10-2010, 03:53 AM   #33
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By accident I posted an entire letter to a lover in an industry business forum. This was before Firefox and browser spell check so I typed everything in MS Word to spell check before posting. It was very intimate and detailed. I called her Daddy and made many butch-femme innuendos. Thankfully it was only there a few hours before I get a call from the board admin, who was a personal friend of mine, telling me he removed it. I was so embarrassed. Everyone was cool and no one said anything, thank goodness!
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Old 05-10-2010, 08:34 AM   #34
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Yeah well when you wake up and send your daughter a text that was intended for the person you were sexting with the night before - THEN you can be embarrassed. Oh, the horror! I tried to make up a believable story. She didn't buy it. Instead she said, "OMG mom - that is just wrong - you totally made me drop the phone and I almost threw up!" THAT is embarrassing!
THIS one cracked me the hell up!...thanks for a funny ass start to my day..


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Old 05-10-2010, 09:15 AM   #35
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So, I was taking her out for dinner for the first time. I was still young and wearing a wallet chain. Not just a "wallet chain" but the Old School Industrial-Punk Wallet Chain. Nice, solid heavy links... what hung in a nice drape... down to my knee.

I held her chair out for her, tucking her in as she sat. I took my seat across from her, and we ordered. I was terribly nervous. I decided that I *needed* to go wash my hands-- anything to settle my nerves down a bit. I excuse myself, and get up from my chair.

The washroom is across the dining room, but I have to go around the table and go by her chair to head toward the door. So, I get up, and with much more "intent" or "focus" than I thought that I was putting in to it, I move to head towards the washroom.......

except...

my Screw-The-Establishment-Walletchain has hooked on to a rather solid part of her chair unbeknownst to me, and with the speed and finesse of a magician pulling the tablecloth out from underneath the crystal-- I yank her chair right out from underneath her, and take it with me for about 2 to 3 steps before I realise just what has happened.

I apparently turned so red that I was purple, and that I believe that so much blood was going into me blushing that I have no memory of what happened next.

(apparently, though, she forgave me... and considered me "endearing" as that wasn't our only date! lol )

(oh, and no-- no more walletchains.)
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Old 05-10-2010, 10:23 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boots13 View Post
Embarass myself? LOL, which time?

How about the crazy guy that filled two tube socks full of unshelled nuts and was swinging them as if wielding war hammers...in front of the courthouse...during lunch break...

and guess who got the call...

I parked the cruiser close enough and after seeing the first sock mangled and walnuts on the roadway, unhitched my mace, approaced
the crazy guy with a whole lotta courthouse onlookers (Judges, Bailiffs, Joe Citizen)
and commanded said Crazy Guy to :

"put your nuts on the hood"
...no compliance..

"I SAID, PUT YOUR NUTS ON THE HOOD"







...nowhere to hide.

I'm sitting here just cracking up over this story.

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Old 05-10-2010, 12:03 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by ToXiC View Post
-looks around to see if lyric is watching-

Holy hell... yes, I'm watching. God, that sounds bad!

I got a kick out of teasing you... which I thought was pretty funny because the no eye contact thing was either cute... or very, very weird. However, it wasn't nearly as funny after we figured out the microphone was on... because I knew just how bad I sounded, and she had no context clues with which to figure out what was going on! LOL

I think your telling this story just might be one of the most embarrassing things that's happened to me in a long time!
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:38 PM   #38
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AND now that work is over and I have more time... I wanted to add... the whole no eye contact thing was freaking me the hell out. I thought I played it off in a teasing way, with the nudges and the whole "why won't you look at me" and "is something wrong" and whatever else I said that probably didn't sound as teasing as I meant it to but probably completely betrayed how much I was freaking out on the inside... LOL
There was a past occasion where I'd met someone from online who actually said to me, "You're not really what I was expecting. I usually don't go for girls who are overweight like you are." so when Toxic continued to stare straight ahead... at her phone... at the sky... at a telephone pole... I was like, WTF?! Is it my ass? LOL When Toxic pointed out that I'd performed this little display in front of a microphone, I gracefully excused myself so that I could go outside and have a heart attack all by my lonesome.

On other occasions, I've mis-sent posts and emails to people, such as the time I emailed a friend about a guy we knew, an email in which I detailed all of the many ways and reasons why this guy was a first class asshole. I was so up in arms that I actually sent it to said guy by mistake, instead of my friend. Another time, I was the emcee for an online graphic design auction for about 80 people. Someone sent me a whisper in the chat that said something like "waving my tinklebug in your face" and I replied in all caps, shouting "YOUR TINKLEBUG!! GET THAT TINKLEBUG OUT OF MY FACE AND PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS WHERE IT BELONGS!"... but I said it to the entire audience at the auction instead of in private to my friend.

Self-degradation comes really easily to me, Medusa, so don't worry. You're not alone!
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Old 05-12-2010, 10:41 AM   #39
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On a recent trip to Trader Joe's I encountered this pesky little sales guy who was short like me and around every corner I turned asking if he could help me with something. After the sixth time bumping into him I finally needed some assistance and asked if he could help me find the turkey jerky. We searched together and were unable to find it. At that point he told me I should try the buffalo jerky, because it was "really, really good." I very haughtily said "I don't eat beef" and turned and walked away.

It was really only recounting the story to my lover when I realized (or she realized) that "buffalo isn't beef sweetie." Gah! I am in fact sure it was much worse to be embarrassed in front of my partner, than some creepy sales guy!

**not my biggest embarrassing moment... but I'm working up to it!
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:16 AM   #40
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Hmmmm...it's reasuring to know I'm not the only one who's done such emarrasing things. My story...

I was just getting to know this butch I'd met on one of those gay dating sites. Shortly after we'd met - I think it was like the 3rd interaction, she started writing some very leud and disgusting things about what all she was going to do to me when she had me in her clutches... Now, mind you, I'm not a prude (well, not too much, lol), but this was beyond crossing the line - esp. since I didn't know her. To this date - some 5 or 6 years after the incident - I still turn red thinking about it.

Well, to make a long story short - I emailed a femme buddy of mine full of indignation and telling her what a pig I thought this butch was, and how disgusted I was with her, blah, blah, blah. Well, don't you know I accidentally copied the butch on the email!! I didn't realize I'd done that 'til my buddy informed me of the fact!! Boy, was my face red!!! And, needless to say, I never heard from the butch again - so it wasn't all a total loss, lol.
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