Were you adopted in a closed adoption?

[sweetcali]

When I saw this online all I could do was cry. I watched the news story also it made me sick to my stomach to think that people would do such a thing. With all of the news about the orphanages in the US and outside of hte US and how these children are treated; how on earth could someone NOT know that there may or may not be some issues that you as the future parent will have to deal with and learn how to help this child. In my thinking and brain I seriously do NOT understand the actions of these parents or the other parents I watched on the broadcast. How can someone be so self centered with regard to adoption of a child?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Hello people most of these children don't even know what a real hug is let alone ........

sweetcali

[Sam]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I decided to post the books that my therapist suggested I read here, in case anyone else missed them or needs resources and does not want to read the entire thread.


Adoption Healing...a Path to Recovery by Joe Soll

Primal Wound by Nancy Veverier

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton

The one I found most helpful was Primal Wound, but all had good information from different standpoints.

Im curious, can you really heal from a closed adoption?

Never knowing anything.

Although im the happiest, level headed male right now, changed in so many ways. I still think and wonder.

I will never know anything, never find my info out. NYS SUCKS, but so many other states are the same.

It's the one thing that i cannot heal from, i WANT answers.

I wanna know who i look like, my heritage, my beginning. cause my present ROCKS!

[Rockinonahigh]

Sam.I hope you get the ansers you are looking for,just breath deep let it come to u.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

This story broke my heart, and makes me wonder when there are going to be policies put into place regarding International Adoptions...I mean, a kid is not a puppy. You can't return it. On the other hand families are getting damaged children that end up putting everyone in the home in danger.

Return of adopted child angers Russia

Boy sent from US, with note, on 1-way flight

By Nataliya Vasilyeva and Kristin M. Hall, Associated Press | April 10, 2010
MOSCOW — Russia threatened to suspend all adoptions by US families yesterday after a 7-year-old boy adopted by a woman from Tennessee was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems.

The boy, Artyom Savelyev, was put on a plane by his adopted grandmother, Nancy Hansen of Shelbyville.

Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov called the actions by the grandmother “the last straw’’ in a string of US adoptions gone wrong, including three in which Russian children had died in the United States.

In an exclusive interview with ABC News’s George Stephanopoulos, President Dmitry Medvedev of Russia said the boy “fell into a very bad family.’’

“It is a monstrous deed on the part of his adoptive parents, to take the kid and virtually throw him out with the airplane in the opposite direction and to say, ‘I’m sorry I could not cope with it, take everything back’ is not only immoral but also against the law,’’ Medvedev said.

The cases have prompted outrage in Russia, where foreign adoption failures are reported prominently. Russian main TV networks ran extensive reports on the latest incident in their main evening news shows.
The education ministry immediately suspended the license of the group involved in the adoption — the World Association for Children and Parents, a Renton, Wash.-based agency — for the duration of an investigation.
In Tennessee, authorities were investigating the adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, 33.

Any possible freeze could affect hundreds of American families. Last year, nearly 1,600 Russian children were adopted in the United States.
“We’re obviously very troubled by it,’’ State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said in Washington when asked about the boy’s case. He told reporters that the United States and Russia share a responsibility for the child’s safety and Washington will work closely with Moscow to make sure adoptions are legal and appropriately monitored.

Asked whether he thought a suspension by Russia was warranted, Crowley said, “If Russia does suspend cooperation on the adoption, that is its right. These are Russian citizens.’’

The boy arrived unaccompanied in Moscow on a United Airlines flight on Thursday from Washington. Social workers sent him to a Moscow hospital for a medical checkup and criticized his adoptive mother for abandoning him.

The Kremlin children’s rights office said the boy was carrying a letter from his adoptive mother saying she was returning him because of his severe psychological problems.

“This child is mentally unstable. He is violent and has severe psychopathic issues,’’ the letter said. “I was lied to and misled by the Russian Orphanage workers and director regarding his mental stability and other issues.
“After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child.’’
The boy was adopted in September from the town of Partizansk in Russia’s Far East.

Nancy Hansen, the grandmother, told the Associated Press that she and the boy flew to Washington and she put the child on the plane with the note from her daughter. She vehemently rejected assertions of child abandonment by Russian authorities, saying he was watched over by a United Airlines stewardess and the family paid a man $200 to pick the boy up at the Moscow airport and take him to the Russian Education and Science Ministry.

http://www.boston.com/news/world/eur...russia?mode=PF

While this is really sad for the children, it does not in any way surprise me, when still the thing to do is give children away in this country, with no answers for the humans just given away.

I guess it seems easier to adopt a child from a far away land when really there is no info for the child of his or her heritage.

You still hear how the children should be thankful how they could have ended up in orphanages or worse.

Whats worse is being given away to adoptive parents who are abusive.

Its horrible the child was sent back, but maybe its for the best.

[Apocalipstic]

I was flipping channels and on Lifetime and there is a movie on about closed adoptions.

It still is going on.

I know Lifetime is fiction...but people still think that if they dont have birth control around, no one will get pregnant. Its not true.

and if someone gets pregnant? give the child away, or endless visits to the doc and planned parenthood for an abortion.

ugh.