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Old 03-21-2014, 05:06 AM   #1
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Default Butches: how do you like to be treated on a date?

There's a thread asking femmes how we like to be treated on dates, but I didn't see one for the butches to chime in on how you like to be treated on dates. Inquiring minds want to know!

What makes a good date for you?
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Old 03-21-2014, 06:24 PM   #2
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I am interested in hearing the responses on this. I am so glad that you asked.
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Old 03-21-2014, 07:51 PM   #3
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On a first date, I'd expect some jitters on my part when I pick up my date. EVEN if I tell myself to play it cool.

I would really appreciate it if you greet me with a warm smile to let me know that you're relaxed around me - that would help.

Or you can give me a naughty smile. I'd appreciate that, too.
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Old 03-21-2014, 09:17 PM   #4
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I would have to say both parties on the first date shouldn't really be expecting anything from each other except polite and honesty.
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Old 03-22-2014, 07:06 AM   #5
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Default

I like to do the gentleman thing- opening doors and stuff. I like to pay, even though I'm not exactly rich. I feel uncomfortable if anyone who isn't a really good friend or well-established girlfriend pays for anything for me. But I enjoy paying on dates and stuff. So I like to do that.
Some physical contact. Just spending time and talking is nice, but it's not enough. I want to cuddle if we're in a cinema or sitting somewhere close together. Hold hands while walking or across the table. A kiss goodnight if it went well.
The whole dinner and stuff is nice but I also really like simple dates. A couple of the nicest dates I've ever been on we walked along the walkway by the river after dinner.

As for specifically how I like to be treated- As an equal but with an acknowledgement that I am at the butch end of the scale. Don't try to 'treat me like a lady', I want to do that for you and I will be annoyed and probably offended if you try it on me. I'm not going to mother you, but let me take care of you a bit. Let me pull my phone out for the purpose of showing you pictures of my animals and probably my motorbike. I love those things. Pull your phone out to show me pictures of the things or people you love the most. Have an intellectual conversation with me, challenge me mentally. Give me something to think about after the date. I will enjoy your presence more if you stimulate my mind as well as my body. Having said that, discussions about sex (although probably not the real thing on the first date) are welcome at any time. Lol. People with dirty minds are much more interesting than people with clean minds.

It's really late. Depending how this thread goes I may come and contribute again. But I hope this much helps
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Old 03-25-2014, 12:15 AM   #6
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Anyone else care to comment? This is actually a really interesting question.
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Old 03-25-2014, 02:45 AM   #7
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Treated with respect, kindness ... if she likes me on the first date and I like her too, it feels good to me to be lightly touched on the arm, shoulder, thigh ... it feels sort of like a subtle gesture of fondness to me.

Once on a first date, I knocked on her door with a bouquet of roses. When she opened the door, she grabbed my hand, yanked me inside and literally swallowed me whole. I did not like that. Felt way too cheesy ... as in a cheap-themed movie.

Subtle will get my attention.
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Old 03-30-2014, 05:46 AM   #8
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Brilliant thread tiaras-and-books.

*bump*
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:04 AM   #9
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I'm gonna take a turn giving a gentle bump on this one. I think it's a great topic.
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:43 AM   #10
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One more bump. I really like hearing what you all have to say.
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Old 05-24-2014, 05:12 AM   #11
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Effortless sharing of laughter on the first will heighten the chances of a second.

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Old 05-24-2014, 05:37 AM   #12
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My philosophy is, if you need to ask how to treat me on a date, we probably shouldnt be dating

Just like a femme, I wish to be treated well and be made to feel special.

No magic formula involved. Common sense, manners, and interest go a long way.

Treating a date like it is a job interview or an inquisition is not acceptable.

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Old 05-25-2014, 11:20 AM   #13
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Default For me....

One of my favorite times with my girl was one when we weren't quite dating yet
but I asked her to run errands with me one day. I had a list but it was short stops
and we just drove around and talked and laughed.

One of the coolest parts was when she literally sat with her back against the door
and looked right at me. She didn't care where we were going, she was just focused
on me. We listened to great music, laughed at ourselves and others, and then it
got really quiet and that was cool too. She just looked content with a little smile
on her face. I asked what she was thinking about and she just said it was so easy
to hang out with me.

That's what keeps our relationship strong. We genuinely like each other.

Of course it didn't hurt that she touched me frequently in a flirty manner and her
eyes were sparkling.

I guess to sum it all up....Show interest, don't be too serious, light flirty touches
are a plus and be able to be silent without awkwardness. All of this will put me at
ease knowing you are present and happy.

I agree with others with keeping expectations low and just see how it goes.
Light and fun off the start makes me want to know more about who you are
and what makes you "tick".
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Old 06-11-2014, 03:26 PM   #14
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For some reason I misread this thread as "Butches: do you like to be treated on a date?"

Was about to come in and say "why yes! yes I do!"

Anyways, as far as the thread. I guess I'd just say that I liked to be treated with respect just like anyone else, but other than that I was never really into being treated in any particular way or having my ego stroked or something. As long as its a good time, both doing something we enjoy, then either things "click" or they don't.

As far as now with "date nights" with my partner. Getting the chance to enjoy each others' company and do something we both like. We don't really have any kind "etiquette" or something, we just want to have fun together outside of the apartment.
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Old 06-11-2014, 05:42 PM   #15
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I've never thought about how I like to be 'treated' on a date. I think it's kinda like being stone (in my definition anyway). My pleasure is defined by how much pleasure I can give my lady...

I hope that makes sense.....
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Old 06-11-2014, 07:10 PM   #16
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Honesty and no expectations except politeness! To both people involved.
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Old 06-11-2014, 09:06 PM   #17
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Default ...

Yanno my expectations are said by many...as I have gotten more mature and experienced in life my thoughts have changed drastically.

All I know is I,m stone butch and fit nicely with a "femme" and enjoy life and respect and honesty..... The rest is for a more private convo!

And not up for debate because....who I am and what I like is ALL MINe!

I love this site!

Enjoy!
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Old 06-12-2014, 07:45 AM   #18
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What an interesting topic. I am going to ask my husband when he gets home tonight how he likes to be treated by me when we go on our date nights.
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Old 06-12-2014, 12:39 PM   #19
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I do notice a lot of people say "I like to be treated with respect." Everyone does. I don't k ow anyone that likes to be treated with disrespect. But the thing is, respect looks different to everyone. What I consider respectful will not be respectful to someone else. And vice versa.
I know but this isn't a popular topic thread but I am actually pretty interested. Do you like being flirted with? How much? How forward? Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? Do you like to be asked out? Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? Do you like her to be agreeable.or do you like her playful and sassy? How word she behavave on a date that would pop your clogs?
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Old 06-12-2014, 03:45 PM   #20
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Alright, let me give this go...

Of course I wanted to be respected - and more. What does that look like?

*You are polite and attentive (and of course - I will be too)

*Assuming you are interested, you are flirtatious without being pushy. All I need to know is the interest is there and (if I am interested too), I can take it from there!

*You are engaged in the conversation and are interested in getting to know me (and I will be too)

*You touch me casually on my arms and/or legs

*You laugh at my jokes (I am funny, you know.)

*You allow me to pay unless otherwise negotiated

*For the love of G-d, put your cell phone away! (unless there is a legitimate reason i.e. young children, emergency calls, etc)

*If you want a goodnight kiss or other physical intimacy at the end of the evening (or whenever) have an open body posture that is congruent with that. Touch me, face me, lean closer, whisper in my ear, put your head on my shoulder (be creative - and tasteful).

*Be dressed appropriately for the date.

*I don't like people to be overly agreeable or overly combative, not on the first date, not ever.

*Please be smart, sexy, engaging, open, appropriate and easy to get along with (and I will be too, I promise)

The End.









Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybarbara View Post
I do notice a lot of people say "I like to be treated with respect." Everyone does. I don't k ow anyone that likes to be treated with disrespect. But the thing is, respect looks different to everyone. What I consider respectful will not be respectful to someone else. And vice versa.
I know but this isn't a popular topic thread but I am actually pretty interested. Do you like being flirted with? How much? How forward? Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? Do you like to be asked out? Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? Do you like her to be agreeable.or do you like her playful and sassy? How word she behavave on a date that would pop your clogs?
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