What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 71

Bèsame* · 07-25-2016, 06:36 AM

While at work yesterday, during a busy moment, I answered the phone.

The caller said, did you get gas?

Trying to keep my composure, I really thought it was a prank call.

I then realized it was Blaze, making sure I got to work!

We laughed later. I said I had to think about my response. Imagine, if I said, "yes, I got gas". My customer standing in front of me would have done...who knows! Lol

Blade · 07-25-2016, 09:48 AM

A u tube video showing dogs and cats and their reaction to farts. Both their own and their peoples farts

femmeandstrong · 07-25-2016, 11:03 AM

Squeaky cottage cheese lol

Blade · 07-27-2016, 08:21 PM

Watching my roomie feed blueberries to her dog and mine. They both swallow everything you feed them whole. But not the blue berries. They didn't know what to do with them. They mouthed them, rolled them around, Skip picked his up and spit it out several times before he finally ate the first one

Wrang1er · 07-27-2016, 08:47 PM

I am use to people staring at me. I realize they are trying to figure out if I am male or female (how they miss the breasts is beyond me). I was waiting for my mom while she got x-rays done and I had her purse (which is becoming more common these days) and I notice a couple looking at me intensely. I think to myself it must be because of the bag (as I swing it awkwardly over my shoulder). Then I had to laugh because I knew it was really just me that confused them. Although the purse may have added to it. I need to talk to my mother about getting a purse that better suits me.

Smiling · 08-02-2016, 03:08 PM

lol, I just used the word doody in a sentence. And yes; I'm always this mature.

girlin2une · 08-02-2016, 04:07 PM

My supervisor looking at me with a dumbfounded expression.
Yes. I stood up to her...

C0LLETTE · 08-02-2016, 06:00 PM

a video clip of Colbert teaching Hillary how to eat cheesecake.

easygoingfemme · 08-02-2016, 06:03 PM

A phone call with my four year old nephew... he's learning how to tell and receive jokes.

Talon · 08-11-2016, 12:01 PM

Blade · 08-16-2016, 11:10 AM

While shopping at Walmart I saw a young man pushing a little girl in a buggy. She asked him what is Betty Crocker. He told her it is just a company, well maybe she was a real person I'm not sure

MysticOceansFL · 08-16-2016, 01:11 PM

I was looking all over for her for like thirty plus minutes and I find her hiding in my laundry basket under my clean clothes. 😀

Medusa · 08-17-2016, 06:51 PM

Having to clarify rules for a fitness challenge at work again today.

"No body parts or organs may be removed for the purposes of weight loss"

Kenna · 08-17-2016, 07:53 PM

My roommate in his thick southern accent said "Oh, lemme tell you this...When they sell a phone in the south, it needs to know what a southerner is saying!!"

I get such a tickle when his phone doesn't understand his heavy accent. Then he cusses at the phone and I have to remind him to make sure it didn't type his cussing ...'cause you don't want Mawmaw thinking you're cussing at her.

Bèsame* · 08-22-2016, 11:01 PM

A comment was made about buying stuff...

And he belts out a song to the tune of Material Girl...

Something that had boxers, socks and shoes in it. , I'm a material guy!
Lol

Medusa · 08-22-2016, 11:12 PM

My team at work.

Random conversations today included:

* Why you have to call someone "Daddy" if you want a cherry Pop Tart
* Zika
* Whether the men's or women's bathrooms smelled worse
* Why someone's laptop was working for the devil
* And there might be a pool going between all of the folks who work for me on exactly when I'm going to have a "Falling Down" moment and auction off everything in my office before riding off into the sunset in my big black 300m

Blade · 09-02-2016, 06:45 PM

While watching Wheel of Fortune, which we normally never watch. The contestants were introducing themselves, each one say something like, "I've been married to my wonderful husband for blah blah blah"

About this time my roomie says, you never hear them say, I've been married to a dick head for however long. Are all their spouses really that wonderful.

I about choked on my taco salad

Stud_puppy1991 · 09-02-2016, 07:50 PM

Watching YouTube earlier and the videos of Sassy Gay Friend. Just...OMG! Too funny

Degotoga · 09-02-2016, 09:25 PM

I stumbled upon this little gem while looking for something completely unrelated. Seriously.

Stud_puppy1991 · 09-02-2016, 11:04 PM

Watching Rizzoli and Idles always does it for me, just the funny moments alone.

07-25-2016, 06:36 AM	#1401
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: ☀️☀️☀️ Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 14,772 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28,402 Thanked 39,527 Times in 10,206 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	While at work yesterday, during a busy moment, I answered the phone. The caller said, did you get gas? Trying to keep my composure, I really thought it was a prank call. I then realized it was Blaze, making sure I got to work! We laughed later. I said I had to think about my response. Imagine, if I said, "yes, I got gas". My customer standing in front of me would have done...who knows! Lol __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

07-25-2016, 09:48 AM	#1402
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	A u tube video showing dogs and cats and their reaction to farts. Both their own and their peoples farts __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-27-2016, 08:21 PM	#1404
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Watching my roomie feed blueberries to her dog and mine. They both swallow everything you feed them whole. But not the blue berries. They didn't know what to do with them. They mouthed them, rolled them around, Skip picked his up and spit it out several times before he finally ate the first one __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-02-2016, 03:08 PM	#1406
Smiling Senior Member How Do You Identify?: with a distinct flair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: somewhere else Posts: 1,852 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,623 Thanked 4,382 Times in 1,009 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	lol, I just used the word doody in a sentence. And yes; I'm always this mature. __________________ Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror. -Rabindranath Tagore

08-02-2016, 04:07 PM	#1407
girlin2une Senior Member How Do You Identify?: submissive queer stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,752 Thanked 3,845 Times in 856 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	My supervisor looking at me with a dumbfounded expression. Yes. I stood up to her... __________________ How do you define courage? Is it the absence of fear? You might think, under the weight of your fears, "I am not courageous." But maybe you have the wrong perspective. Courage can be measured in many ways, and is not the absence or denial of fear, but the willingness to act vulnerably. When you're faced with the unknown and then you stand on the edge of risk, courage brings you to the point where you are able to take flight, though you might be unsure of your wings.

07-25-2016, 11:03 AM	#1403
femmeandstrong Member How Do You Identify?: just me...imperfect but warm-hearted me Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I am alright and still smiling - keeping my eyes on what lasts and matters Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New England Posts: 325 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 352 Thanked 1,040 Times in 279 Posts Rep Power: 8187132	Squeaky cottage cheese lol

07-27-2016, 08:47 PM	#1405
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I am use to people staring at me. I realize they are trying to figure out if I am male or female (how they miss the breasts is beyond me). I was waiting for my mom while she got x-rays done and I had her purse (which is becoming more common these days) and I notice a couple looking at me intensely. I think to myself it must be because of the bag (as I swing it awkwardly over my shoulder). Then I had to laugh because I knew it was really just me that confused them. Although the purse may have added to it. I need to talk to my mother about getting a purse that better suits me.

08-02-2016, 06:00 PM	#1408
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,261 Times in 4,345 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	a video clip of Colbert teaching Hillary how to eat cheesecake. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

08-02-2016, 06:03 PM	#1409
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,368 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,723 Thanked 14,131 Times in 3,011 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	A phone call with my four year old nephew... he's learning how to tell and receive jokes.

08-11-2016, 12:01 PM	#1410
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,230 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

08-16-2016, 11:10 AM	#1411
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	While shopping at Walmart I saw a young man pushing a little girl in a buggy. She asked him what is Betty Crocker. He told her it is just a company, well maybe she was a real person I'm not sure __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-16-2016, 01:11 PM	#1412
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,035 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Crazy afternoon with my cocker spaniel I was looking all over for her for like thirty plus minutes and I find her hiding in my laundry basket under my clean clothes. 😀 __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

08-17-2016, 06:51 PM	#1413
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,870 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Having to clarify rules for a fitness challenge at work again today. "No body parts or organs may be removed for the purposes of weight loss" __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

08-17-2016, 07:53 PM	#1414
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,101 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Talk to text in the south My roommate in his thick southern accent said "Oh, lemme tell you this...When they sell a phone in the south, it needs to know what a southerner is saying!!" I get such a tickle when his phone doesn't understand his heavy accent. Then he cusses at the phone and I have to remind him to make sure it didn't type his cussing ...'cause you don't want Mawmaw thinking you're cussing at her. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-22-2016, 11:01 PM	#1415
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: ☀️☀️☀️ Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 14,772 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28,402 Thanked 39,527 Times in 10,206 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	A comment was made about buying stuff... And he belts out a song to the tune of Material Girl... Something that had boxers, socks and shoes in it. , I'm a material guy! Lol __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

08-22-2016, 11:12 PM	#1416
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,870 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	My team at work. Random conversations today included: * Why you have to call someone "Daddy" if you want a cherry Pop Tart * Zika * Whether the men's or women's bathrooms smelled worse * Why someone's laptop was working for the devil * And there might be a pool going between all of the folks who work for me on exactly when I'm going to have a "Falling Down" moment and auction off everything in my office before riding off into the sunset in my big black 300m __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

09-02-2016, 06:45 PM	#1417
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	While watching Wheel of Fortune, which we normally never watch. The contestants were introducing themselves, each one say something like, "I've been married to my wonderful husband for blah blah blah" About this time my roomie says, you never hear them say, I've been married to a dick head for however long. Are all their spouses really that wonderful. I about choked on my taco salad __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

09-02-2016, 07:50 PM	#1418
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051414	Watching YouTube earlier and the videos of Sassy Gay Friend. Just...OMG! Too funny

09-02-2016, 09:25 PM	#1419
Degotoga Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Respectful and situational appropriate ones Relationship Status: Enjoying butchelorhood Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 3,301 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,390 Thanked 4,386 Times in 1,233 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Cumming to the 2020 Olympics... I stumbled upon this little gem while looking for something completely unrelated. Seriously. __________________ Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

09-02-2016, 11:04 PM	#1420
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051414	Watching Rizzoli and Idles always does it for me, just the funny moments alone.