Single Butches & Femmes Cafe

[ScandalAndy]

Originally Posted by Luckydwg07

IT'S RAINING AGAIN!!!! hope everyone is having an awesome Thursday ~

Lookit that!! someone from my neck of the woods!! You gearing up for the great hurricane extravaganza?

Originally Posted by claybabytwo

Swaggers in.....waving "hi ya" to all the gorgeous singulars!!! How is everyone! Misses ya all..bunches....hugs to all da femmes and beer for all the butches....whooohooo..ain't life grand?? Laters gaters...Clayster

CLAY you devil! We all miss you terribly! How's partnered life? I hope you're smiling like crazy and enjoying every minute!!

[clay]

Ummm where do you get I am "partnered". I still sleep alone every night...one does NOT need to be "partnered" to be wonderfully "blissful". So now I am "singing in the rain"...and still single!!!! <smile>

[msW8ing]

Giving some CPR to the thread. Needs to be resuscitated.

[ScandalAndy]

I'm having a thought......... I'm thinking femmes outnumber butches on this site (and in real life). Anybody else feel this way? Does anyone else think it makes femme friendships harder to form since there's this kind of "competition for resources" thing going on?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

I'm having a thought......... I'm thinking femmes outnumber butches on this site (and in real life). Anybody else feel this way? Does anyone else think it makes femme friendships harder to form since there's this kind of "competition for resources" thing going on?

I personally do not feel "competitive" with other femmes. My friendships and connections with femmes are very important to me.

Do I occasionally feel a twinge because I am not 35-40 any more, yes, I would have to be honest about that and say yes but I feel that way about younger butches as well as femmes.

Actually, where I work, there is the cutest damn butch ever, just her young face gives her away as a girl. Whenever we go up in the elevator together I have a mantra in my head: god, if I was only 20 years younger! She is just that cute

[msW8ing]

Andy..of course femme's outnumber butches in the gay community..just as in the hetro community women outnumber men...well except in Alaska lol...no I don't feel any kind of competition because my taste is not the same as my friends..we hunt for one another because we know one anothers taste lol...I know here in Phoenix you can't throw a dead rat without hitting a femme lol ....but I'm not just your usual run of the mill femme..my friends classify me as an ultimate femme lmao. And Anya no you may not be in your 30's anymore but doll...every year you age so do they..lol..there are many older butches and I'm thankful for that. Older is so hawt lol.

[ruthie14]

Wow... really? Here it is mostly a lot of tweeners and butches. I am one of a very few femmes. Unfortunatley the butches here are either not interested in me, or I in them. Sooooo.. looking outside my scope of friends to see what happens. Although, that can be a scary thing. Taking it easy, if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't ... I'll just be patient.

Ruthie

[msW8ing]

ruthie I feel your pain..I'm into Old School Dykes and they are a rare breed for sure. Almost extinct I fear. But I hold hope.

[alphadaddy]

we're still here although at times would want to be invisible or hide behind a disquise that allows us to belong nonetheless we are still here

[ScandalAndy]

Thank you all for your responses!! I feel like I'm in a city where everyone looks the same. Because I do not, I often feel shunned. The butch types all wear their fitted caps sideways and look like hipsters, the femmes all have long hair that they flat iron, and look like hipsters. Granted, these are the 21-30 year olds that I see out. I'm a big old pinup femme and that is totally different from them. Unfortch there aren't any butches to counter that style, so sometimes I get discouraged.

Anya/MsW8ing: On the flip side of that coin, a lot of older butches won't date me because I am "so young". So there are defs butch types that are looking for you ladies that I haven't got a chance with.

I find myself having difficulty making friends with femmes around my age because we like the same people. For instance I just found out that the same girl has been flirting with me and one of my friends that goes to college here. Luckily my friend is awesome and we were able to talk about this like adults, but i've had bad experiences where sometimes a girl will stab me in the back to get the butch to like her.

For the record, everyone at BFP has been wonderful and friendly and accepting to me, even the butches who told me I was too young were quite gentle about it.

[AtLast]

But, 'cept we are out here- more old school butches (yet very much appreciate youthful ideas and know other generations are forming their futures- had my chance to do so, now it is theirs), that is. LOL, but, I am ancient and simply at a point in my life in which where someone is in terms of their working life matters. Close to or at retirement, or semi-retirement is on my list of "essentials."

It is hard to meet "special" people throughout life, I believe. But also for someone my age, most have had the "love of their life" and have "divorced" after many years or their partner has died.

And I am not an old grumpy butch ready to kick it in. I like to think I am still viable and can turn a few femme heads... ;?).... Recently, I have become much more hopeful about possible romance again. You nevah' know!

[Inuus]

It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell.

[msW8ing]

It is interesting on how a region can be so different from another. When I lived in Nebraska the Butch/Dyke ratio to femme was like 3 to 1. It was wonderful for a femme. lol...but here in Phoenix it seems the opposite. I mean there are Dyke/Butch here..but..at my age and then to add I prefer older..they are either coupled or at that point in their life they don't want to date. I've tried dating younger to but the ones I've personally met are just not mature. And they lack the most awesome qualities of the Old School Dykes that make my head spin and my knees weak. And they most definitely do not have that "swagger". *sigh*

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by MsW8ing

...I know here in Phoenix you can't throw a dead rat without hitting a femme lol ....

REALLY??? Cause that hasn't been my experience since I've lived here, nor has it been the experience of other butches and femmes that I've spoken with that live or have lived here. They have expressed, and I agree, that the butch/femme community is almost non-existent in and around Phoenix. There is a HUGE lesbian population, but I've encountered less than a handful of women that identify as "femme".

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

Originally Posted by Inuus

It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell.

I find the same thing here in Arkansas. I will see someone at the store, for example, wearing what ==I== would consider more "butch" attire, but oftentimes it is just a more 'country' look from straight women.

As for women being dressed "as if they are or have been working on the ranch" not "looking" like a femme, I have a question... I know there has been stuff on other threads about what being a femme means... I know with every cell of my being I AM a femme. Do I look the part of the magazine-cover femme? (is there one?). Nope, I don't. My preferred outfit each day is shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. I have short, spikey hair cause it lets me feel like I can have an ATTITUDE that kicks ass. And at the age of 59, I need all the 'tude I can get! I don't know, maybe I really AM more androgynous in looks, who cares? I think for ME, the important thing is what is inside, how I alone identify ME. I know that the ME of me is soft, loving, caring, eager to please, nurturing, bawdy, sensitive, and lots of other really cool things. AND I love football and fishing!

Maybe this issue here is the fact that it is sometimes hard to pinpoint whether someone is actually butch or femme (or gay for that matter!), and therefore harder to know whether one can approach or view the other as a possible mate. I know for me, my gaydar is all out of whack!

I also have a problem sometimes with thinking that all the butch women that are out there are going to be too young for me. My partners have all been younger than me from between 9-13 yrs younger. The 13 yr difference was really pushing it, but maybe it was just her.

[bigbutchmistie]

Hello Everone

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend so far So much going on here in Big D this weekend. We have the Texas State Fair going on, Texas And Oklahoma at the Cotton Bowl, Dallas Stars started their season this weekend and the Texas Rangers are playing in the first game of ALCS today

Last weekend I ventured out and went to the Pride Picnic for Fort Worth. I had a blast but didnt see or meet anyone I would have remotely been interested in. I see a trend going on here in Dallas Fort Worth. Its Femme/Femme Butch/Butch... I saw a handful of butch/femme couples and was there all day long.

I guess I will have to continue to be patient. I am sure my "Belle" is out there somwhere....

[Inuus]

Originally Posted by ArkansasPiscesGrrl

I find the same thing here in Arkansas. I will see someone at the store, for example, wearing what ==I== would consider more "butch" attire, but oftentimes it is just a more 'country' look from straight women.

As for women being dressed "as if they are or have been working on the ranch" not "looking" like a femme, I have a question... I know there has been stuff on other threads about what being a femme means... I know with every cell of my being I AM a femme. Do I look the part of the magazine-cover femme? (is there one?). Nope, I don't. My preferred outfit each day is shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. I have short, spikey hair cause it lets me feel like I can have an ATTITUDE that kicks ass. And at the age of 59, I need all the 'tude I can get! I don't know, maybe I really AM more androgynous in looks, who cares? I think for ME, the important thing is what is inside, how I alone identify ME. I know that the ME of me is soft, loving, caring, eager to please, nurturing, bawdy, sensitive, and lots of other really cool things. AND I love football and fishing!

Maybe this issue here is the fact that it is sometimes hard to pinpoint whether someone is actually butch or femme (or gay for that matter!), and therefore harder to know whether one can approach or view the other as a possible mate. I know for me, my gaydar is all out of whack!

I also have a problem sometimes with thinking that all the butch women that are out there are going to be too young for me. My partners have all been younger than me from between 9-13 yrs younger. The 13 yr difference was really pushing it, but maybe it was just her.

I dont think I expressed myself correctly in my post, I must apologize for the confusion.

When I was posting about women looking like they worked on a ranch etc. I didnt mean that wasnt femme because trust me some of these women did look femme. Femme, to me anyways, is the way one carries themselves not defined as a "look" or what she happens to be wearing at the time.

With that being said, I guess the point I was trying to make was there are women here my gaydar(which also seems to have worn out over the years) isn't sure about and in most cases I dont even give it a second thought believing most likely they are straight women who own/work on ranches.

For what it's worth you sound like a lovely woman and it doesnt hurt, actually its a plus in my book, you like football and fishing.

[clay]

bumping an awesome thread

[Leigh]

I just came in to say hi to everyone, miss and love you all

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

Stopping by to say hi to everyone! Hope your Saturday is going great for you all.

Had an awesome time at lunch today with a couple of femme goddesses from here on the Planet. Love love LOVE being able to feel that connection, love my femme sisters! I really had not realized just how valuable that time is to me.

And the fact that I could bring up a scary, personal topic of a *sexual* nature to them, and not have them freak out about me, was awesome. Having to almost shout the question over the 50 frat boys in the restaurant, it was priceless! *grinning* Love having femme sisters to hang with!