Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

[Gráinne]

And the $64,000 question...Why do we feel attraction for someone in the first place? And why does it so often go against our "type"?

I mean, take this thread and somewhere, there's a "love list" thread, in which myself and other people have tried to describe ideal partners and the "type" we say we're attracted to. But many, if not most, of us have been fixed up with someone who seemed to have everything on the list and on paper, sounded perfect...but there's no chemistry, no "heat" when you meet. You know what I'm talking about.

And the opposite is true, and chemistry makes a sneak attack, unexpected. Sometimes, that person is a big flapping red flag with feet, and sometimes it really does turn out that they have the qualities which you seek. I personally believe "heat" is obviously a lot of fun, but real compatibility takes time to ferret out.

But that's the maddening part. Wouldn't it save a lot of grief and time if we only felt chemistry with someone suitable? But we're complex people and life just isn't that simple.

I suppose that's just a rhetorical question. We can list and list all we want, but sometimes it's a big mystery.