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Old 09-09-2012, 08:32 PM   #1
laruss
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Default A Funny Letter

Below you will find the script to write your letter. A friend had this on her FaceBook page and we started laughing and couldn't stop. It was so funny...or maybe we need sleep. You can decide for yourself.


Dear Stacy,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your Mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined.
Best of luck on the sex change,
laruss

You can play along if you like, or not, it's up to you.
I laughed.
.................................................. .................................................. ......
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
No shirt -The mafia wants you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your last name?
A/B - Your left ear
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - Your glass eye
I/J - My virginity
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - The oil tank from your car
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T -your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your first name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:50 PM   #2
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Default

Dear Jess,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I
think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump in your closet and I saw you carve your initials into the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Kisss MY Butt,
T.



hehehe love it
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:50 PM   #3
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Default

Dear Kelley :

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear in your apartment. And I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. Im sure your senile enough to understand Im returning your toe ring to you but I will keep your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and our friendship is ruined.

With Tears Of Sadness

BBM
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:04 PM   #4
princessbelle
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Default fun!!!

Dear Bully,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but i'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under the bus and I saw you sit on your "my little pony collection". I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and you should stop picking your nose.

Love always,
Belle
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but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:06 PM   #5
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Default

Dear Rhon,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but The mafia wants you I think I realized it when When we skinny dipped in the bathtub Outside of your office and I saw you Sit on The elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Never will forget that night and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go drown yourself,
Sherrie
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Old 09-12-2012, 11:30 PM   #6
Nomad
Timed Out

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stone femme Daddy's girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
disinterested
 
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Default

Dear P,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining a convent. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub as you were eating Kraft dinner and I saw you sit on your my little pony collection. I'm sure you're middle class enough to understand how boring you are. I'm returning our matching Snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will never forget that night and you should stop picking your nose.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Nomad







-----------------------

RULES:

Dear (someone you recently talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
No shirt -The mafia wants you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your last name?
A/B - Your left ear
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - Your glass eye
I/J - My virginity
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - The oil tank from your car
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T -your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your first name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE]
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Old 09-12-2012, 11:48 PM   #7
bright_arrow
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married to my Boo Daddy <3
 
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Default

Dear Bard,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and our friendship is ruined.

Go drown yourself,

desd
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:20 AM   #8
SugarFemme
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She
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Singular
 
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Default Mom is coming to dinner tonight, I HAVE to read this to her LOL

Dear Mom,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your car and I saw you sit on my Father. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Kiss my butt,
Jewel

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Old 09-13-2012, 04:45 AM   #9
jac
Timed Out - Permanent

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butch stone
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masculine ones work best...
Relationship Status:
♥ engaged to spritz ♥
 
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Default

Dear Spritz,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you hit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm alergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Stoney

LOL this was cute... and fun.
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:10 AM   #10
Scorp
Italian Stallion

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DNA Usually...
 

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Default

Dear Lisa,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and I saw you knock out my father.


I'm sure you're open enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory.

You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and i'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,


-Scorp-


-----------------------

RULES:

Dear (someone you recently talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
No shirt -The mafia wants you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your last name?
A/B - Your left ear
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - Your glass eye
I/J - My virginity
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - The oil tank from your car
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T -your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your first name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:15 AM   #11
Leigh
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Dear Sara,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you knock out my father. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand how aweful you are. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Love Always,
Leigh
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Old 09-14-2012, 12:11 AM   #12
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Dear Janey,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but purple hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in a clownsuit and I saw you carve your initials into my father. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Kiss my butt,
Rhonda

HAHAHA
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Old 09-15-2012, 10:32 AM   #13
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Dear N,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose with Jean Chrétien and I saw you hit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined.
Best of luck on the sex change,
laruss
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Old 09-11-2015, 12:00 PM   #14
Orema
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Dear Sandy,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in a clown suit and I saw you sit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're scarred (scared?) enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

With tears of sadness,
Orema

.................................................. .................................................. ......
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
No shirt -The mafia wants you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your last name?
A/B - Your left ear
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - Your glass eye
I/J - My virginity
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - The oil tank from your car
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T -your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your first name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE]
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Old 09-11-2015, 05:26 PM   #15
Gemme
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Dear Jason,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear in a clown suit and I saw you sit on your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and you should stop picking your nose.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Gemme
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Old 09-11-2015, 05:32 PM   #16
Degotoga
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Dear C,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in a clown suit and I saw you drive over the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Degs
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Old 08-21-2016, 09:08 PM   #17
homoe
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Bump BUMP......looks fun! I'll post when I have the time!
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