Corny jokes - Page 5

Janstevie · 10-08-2013, 08:33 AM

'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

Wrang1er · 10-31-2013, 05:36 PM

Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the street?

He didn't have any guts.

Why aren't ghost good liars?

You can see right through them.

Why are ghost good cheerleaders?

They have spirit.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

Why can't ghosts have babies?

They have hollow weenies!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL!

~W

Wrang1er · 12-24-2013, 04:54 AM

What do you get if you deep fry Santa?

Krisp Kringle

Why are Santa's helpers depressed?

They have low elf esteem.

What do you call people that are afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney.

~W

12-24-2013, 04:59 AM

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to dance with

Where do Santa's helpers go when they're sick?
The National Elf Service

Wrang1er · 01-10-2014, 05:16 AM

Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?

It was TWO TIRED!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 01-10-2014, 08:36 AM

Did you hear the one about the corduroy pillow?!

It made headlines!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 01-10-2014, 08:39 AM

What did the blonde say when she gave birth?

"Is it mine"?

ps. I have nothing against blondes, this is a joke. Only.

puddin' · 01-10-2014, 02:11 PM

bus driver opens the door and sees a 3 eyed, armless, one legged person wanting to get on.

he says: eye, eye, eye. you look armless enough, hop on!

Chancie · 01-10-2014, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy_Go_Lucky

What did the blonde say when she gave birth?

"Is it mine"?

ps. I have nothing against blondes, this is a joke. Only.

So this is what I tell my students when they make blond jokes:

I say, Tell the same joke, but replace 'blond' with 'black'.

How does it sound now?

C0LLETTE · 01-10-2014, 03:50 PM

guy jumps off Empire State Bldg..On each floor as he goes by, people can hear him say " So far so good."

Wrang1er · 01-29-2014, 05:46 AM

What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!

What did one candle say to the other?

Don't birthdays burn you up?

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?

Mice cream and cake!

Happy Birthday Mopsie!

~W

Happy_Go_Lucky · 01-29-2014, 06:48 AM

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!

To Chancie: I promise no more 'dumb blonde' jokes...

silkepus · 01-29-2014, 06:52 AM

Do you know why you shouldn’t tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things- literally

;D

Happy_Go_Lucky · 01-29-2014, 06:54 AM

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other,

"Does this taste funny to you?"

Happy_Go_Lucky · 01-29-2014, 06:58 AM

There was a person who sent 20 different puns to her friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did.

Wrang1er · 02-14-2014, 05:06 AM

What do you call a very small Valentine?

A valentiny!

What did the farmer get his wife for Valentine's Day?

Hogs and kisses.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Yes, they're very scent-imental!

Smiling · 03-13-2014, 09:23 AM

Nacho cheese!

lmao, the joke cracked me up and when I saw the picture I died all over again! It's all just so ridiculous.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-13-2014, 02:39 PM

What does a mermaid who likes math wear?

An algae-bra!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-13-2014, 02:41 PM

Someone stole the toilet from the police station.

The cops have nothing to go on.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-13-2014, 04:52 PM

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!

10-31-2013, 05:36 PM	#82
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	candy corny jokes ;) Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the street? He didn't have any guts. Why aren't ghost good liars? You can see right through them. Why are ghost good cheerleaders? They have spirit. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite. Why can't ghosts have babies? They have hollow weenies! HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL! ~W

12-24-2013, 04:54 AM	#83
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	HO HO HO What do you get if you deep fry Santa? Krisp Kringle Why are Santa's helpers depressed? They have low elf esteem. What do you call people that are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic Why doesn't Santa have any children? He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney. ~W

01-10-2014, 02:11 PM	#88
puddin' Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?: bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: new zealand Posts: 7,120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,467 Thanked 7,973 Times in 2,344 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	told to me by a resident yesterday... bus driver opens the door and sees a 3 eyed, armless, one legged person wanting to get on. he says: eye, eye, eye. you look armless enough, hop on! __________________ be true, be you, be brave.

01-29-2014, 05:46 AM	#91
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Birthday Jokes for Mopsie What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant! What did one candle say to the other? Don't birthdays burn you up? What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake! Happy Birthday Mopsie! ~W

01-29-2014, 06:48 AM	#92
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Cornier and cornier What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper! To Chancie: I promise no more 'dumb blonde' jokes...

10-08-2013, 08:33 AM	#81
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,334 Times in 415 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

12-24-2013, 04:59 AM	#84
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with Where do Santa's helpers go when they're sick? The National Elf Service

01-10-2014, 05:16 AM	#85
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was TWO TIRED!

01-10-2014, 08:36 AM	#86
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Did you hear the one about the corduroy pillow?! It made headlines!

01-10-2014, 08:39 AM	#87
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	What did the blonde say when she gave birth? "Is it mine"? ps. I have nothing against blondes, this is a joke. Only.

01-10-2014, 03:50 PM	#90
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,261 Times in 4,345 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	guy jumps off Empire State Bldg..On each floor as he goes by, people can hear him say " So far so good."

01-29-2014, 06:52 AM	#93
silkepus Member How Do You Identify?: covered in ink and glitter Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: watching pictures of cats on tumblr Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Scandinavia Posts: 382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 359 Thanked 702 Times in 196 Posts Rep Power: 10186796	Do you know why you shouldn’t tell jokes to kleptomaniacs? They always take things- literally ;D __________________ I’m here, I’m queer, sorry I’m late I overslept

01-29-2014, 06:54 AM	#94
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

01-29-2014, 06:58 AM	#95
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	There was a person who sent 20 different puns to her friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

02-14-2014, 05:06 AM	#96
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	<3 What do you call a very small Valentine? A valentiny! What did the farmer get his wife for Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Yes, they're very scent-imental!

03-13-2014, 09:23 AM	#97
Smiling Senior Member How Do You Identify?: with a distinct flair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: somewhere else Posts: 1,852 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,623 Thanked 4,382 Times in 1,009 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	What is orange and doesn't belong to you? Nacho cheese! lmao, the joke cracked me up and when I saw the picture I died all over again! It's all just so ridiculous. __________________ Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror. -Rabindranath Tagore

03-13-2014, 02:39 PM	#98
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	What does a mermaid who likes math wear? An algae-bra! __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-13-2014, 02:41 PM	#99
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Someone stole the toilet from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-13-2014, 04:52 PM	#100
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 676 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,190 Thanked 3,359 Times in 626 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel! __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.