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Old 03-01-2012, 06:45 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by apretty View Post
I didn't read the OP as stating that being butch is all about... short hair--I did read her as saying that she didn't want to have a conversation with a co-worker about what *butch* means.

Am I way off?
No, thank you.. you're not. My coworker doesn't know what butch is, I'm guessing but I'm betting I'm right. I didn't want to explain it to her.

I am not, nor have I ever, thought of only short hair as butch. I think it's silly to even assume I would think that.

It makes me cringe to post on forums sometimes because it's easy to take other's words out of context or twist them around when all they were doing was talking like they would to a friend standing next to them.

Sorry if I offended anyone, I'll be more careful about my choice of words in the future if needed.
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Old 03-01-2012, 06:53 PM   #22
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No, thank you.. you're not. My coworker doesn't know what butch is, I'm guessing but I'm betting I'm right. I didn't want to explain it to her.

I am not, nor have I ever, thought of only short hair as butch. I think it's silly to even assume I would think that.

It makes me cringe to post on forums sometimes because it's easy to take other's words out of context or twist them around when all they were doing was talking like they would to a friend standing next to them.

Sorry if I offended anyone, I'll be more careful about my choice of words in the future if needed.
No offense... I can will tell you this -- As a femme, I have heard over and over again from Butches, that I would look oh so much more Feminine if only I would grow out my hair. That Femme's should not have short hair. Or GASP... It's just not right that your hair is shorter than mine.

Sorry, if you felt your words were being twisted not my intent. AND... I work for a Japanese organization and will say this, based on my experience in Japan and working with people in this culture. Hair is very important. Long hair on females is a sign of femininity. It is cultural.. As it is cultural in many of the Asian (continent) cultures.

Julie
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:01 PM   #23
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AND... I work for a Japanese organization and will say this, based on my experience in Japan and working with people in this culture. Hair is very important. Long hair on females is a sign of femininity. It is cultural.. As it is cultural in many of the Asian (continent) cultures.

Julie
That was sort of the moral of my sharing this... it was amusing to me how much my short hair bothered her because she didn't get it. She tsk'ed me when I told her I would not grow it out lol. I wish I could capture the sweet, quirkyness of this woman in words but alas, I cannot.

Thank you for understanding.
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:07 PM   #24
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I do think what Cuddles and Julie are sharing are actually very similar even though one is butch and one is femme- both are being told they should grow their hair out because that is considered more feminine (what a woman should be).
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:12 PM   #25
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So much of what "we" do as a society is sadly based on stereotypes. And the stereotype exists that butches have short hair and femmes have long hair. It's been perpetuated for so long that people forget that hair is not what defines a person. I have worn my hair short my entire life until I decided to grow it long two years ago. I consider myself very femme, even when my hair is short. Although I present on the OUTSIDE to be femme....it is what's inside my heart and soul that truly makes me feminine. How I think. How I go about my life. How I see things. All this is how I define ME and no one else.
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:12 PM   #26
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Being that it is a cultural thing for some I'm not surprised at all. I took the post as a random thought. Psst there's a thread for that too LOL.
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:21 PM   #27
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Not to get off topic, but it is off topic.

I was wondering when the whole "short hair for masculine, long hair for feminine" sort of ideals come from to begin with.

I found this...

For much of human history, both men and women had long hair, and men usually had long beards as well. In the 4th century BC Alexander the Great of Macedonia had his soldiers wear short hair and shave off their beards, so that their ememies couldn't grab their hair or beards in battle. The Romans were the first culture where all the men generally wore their hair short and shaved their beards, again for military reasons. After Rome conquered most of Europe and the Mediterranean, short hair came to be associated with what Rome stood for: civilization, "law and order", loyalty to the state, conservatism, military discipline, etc. Long hair was associated with barbarians, women, "effeminate" greek philosophers and wimpy romantics. The Roman senate took a dim view of emperors like Hadrian who "went Greek" by wearing a beard and longer hair.

At answer bag.com

For what it's worth.

I was just curious...didn't mean to derail really.

Personal note: Also, i can speak from my *me* space and say...i have long hair, always have and it has nothing to do with me being feminine. I just have a long neck and with short hair i look like a giraffe. And, well, i'd rather not.

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Old 03-01-2012, 08:57 PM   #28
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There are all kinds of stereotypes-including age.

I actually had a woman at work one time tell me she got her hair cut short because she thought that only younger women looked good with long hair.

This is while she is looking at my long hair and I am definitely not a "younger woman".

Btw, I have long hair because first and foremost, I like long hair on myself.

On the other hand, I do dig crew-cuts, particularly on my butch. I just love to run my hand over the top of it

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Old 03-01-2012, 09:47 PM   #29
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This is interesting thread! I have had very very short hair, very very long hair and everything on between. My dad always asked when my hair was short "when will you grow it out again". To him being raised in Texas girls are supposed to have long hair. I liked my hair short and I like it long. Right now is right at the top of my shoulders. I did not feel less feminine with short hair. In some ways I felt more feminine! I have to admit I do think I am too old for really long hair. Mostly because my hair is not as full as it used to be.

My Mom recently lost her hair to chemotherapy. I think that is worst side effect to her. She had beautiful white and black curly hair. It has made me think about how we view hair and how it affects how we feel about ourselves.

When I get really anxious and in an OCD loop I do think about shaving all my hair off. It is kind of like a reset button for me. I have never shaved it all off but I have gone very short.

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Old 03-02-2012, 02:19 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Cuddles View Post
No, thank you.. you're not. My coworker doesn't know what butch is, I'm guessing but I'm betting I'm right. I didn't want to explain it to her.

I am not, nor have I ever, thought of only short hair as butch. I think it's silly to even assume I would think that.

It makes me cringe to post on forums sometimes because it's easy to take other's words out of context or twist them around when all they were doing was talking like they would to a friend standing next to them.

Sorry if I offended anyone, I'll be more careful about my choice of words in the future if needed.
If you re-read my post, you'll notice that it was very lighthearted in tone as evidenced by the kind of language used and the LOL. (This is addressed to you apretty as well.) I wasn't offended. I wasn't criticizing you. I was merely preparing you for the likely and inevitable response in a fun and lighthearted manner.

I thought that was obvious. I still think it's obvious. I just wonder why some people get SUCH a kick out of taking every. single. ***ing. word out of context and inserting bad intent that wasn't there.

Hope that's clear now


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Old 03-02-2012, 03:01 AM   #31
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Sorry, that came across as sounding a little hostile. My apologies.

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Old 03-02-2012, 08:23 AM   #32
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I am not offended at all and did not think the OP was in out of line in any way. Stereotypes are funny (and sad) I like busting stereotypes. I have been told I am not really Butch for so many reasons, mostly for appearance reasons. --I have even been told I am not really Butch because of male gender ID--, So please feel happy with who you are! Enjoy the journey, find the fun and laugh at the world!
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Old 03-02-2012, 10:11 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by funkyfemme View Post
Anything but the Mullet, please. I just cannot handle the Mulls.
Yeah! What Funky Femme said! LOL!

Apart from the awful (sorry Belle) Mullet, I don't mind how a Butch has hys/her hair; the hair doesn't make the Butch! Besides, I like to run my fingers through hys/her hair.
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Old 03-02-2012, 10:26 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by *Anya* View Post
I actually had a woman at work one time tell me she got her hair cut short because she thought that only younger women looked good with long hair.

I've heard this so often over the years and have had the suggestion that I cut my hair a lot shorter.

I've also been asked if it would be easier for me to have shorter hair.....why? When I'm out I wear my hair up.

I've had long hair all my life; if it grew any longer it would be down to my knees! LOL!

As julie said; Asian women love long hair. Tribal and other non-northern European cultures, women into old age wear their hair long.
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Old 03-02-2012, 11:34 AM   #35
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I wear my hair short for comfort,i'm also a free sweater so anything to keep me cooler is a good thing,once I wore my hair down to my butt then cut it off.
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Old 03-02-2012, 11:55 AM   #36
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On the other hand, I do dig crew-cuts, particularly on my butch. I just love to run my hand over the top of it -- *Anya*


anya, i like to run my hand over the top of a crew-cut too! what's that say about me? LOL i'm butch. oh my, what shall i do! lol

love those crew-cuts.
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Old 03-02-2012, 01:07 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by princessbelle View Post
Not to get off topic, but it is off topic.

I was wondering when the whole "short hair for masculine, long hair for feminine" sort of ideals come from to begin with.

I found this...

For much of human history, both men and women had long hair, and men usually had long beards as well. In the 4th century BC Alexander the Great of Macedonia had his soldiers wear short hair and shave off their beards, so that their ememies couldn't grab their hair or beards in battle. The Romans were the first culture where all the men generally wore their hair short and shaved their beards, again for military reasons. After Rome conquered most of Europe and the Mediterranean, short hair came to be associated with what Rome stood for: civilization, "law and order", loyalty to the state, conservatism, military discipline, etc. Long hair was associated with barbarians, women, "effeminate" greek philosophers and wimpy romantics. The Roman senate took a dim view of emperors like Hadrian who "went Greek" by wearing a beard and longer hair.

At answer bag.com

For what it's worth.

I was just curious...didn't mean to derail really.

Personal note: Also, i can speak from my *me* space and say...i have long hair, always have and it has nothing to do with me being feminine. I just have a long neck and with short hair i look like a giraffe. And, well, i'd rather not.



Very interesting. And Rome was extremely anti woman to the point we do not have one single thing written by a Roman woman. We only know about Roman women via the writings of Roman men and much of what they wrote was highly mysogynistic. We don't know what they thought, what they liked, what they hated, what they valued, or what they thought of Rome and Roman men. So the Roman empire effectively silenced millions of women for hundreds of years.

I wore my own hair very short for a few years (even spiky for a while). The nasty comments I got were downright rude and meant to shame me. Even my parents jumped on the bandwagon for a while and basically insulted me for short hair. Its just more gender role reinforcement from society that gets nervous at the thought of women not conforming.

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Old 03-02-2012, 02:01 PM   #38
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i wear my hair long mostly because i think it is LESS trouble this way

if you have short hair you frequently need a blow dryer and/or styling products

i wash mine and it air dries into waves (over the course of a whole day lol)

Also if you have short hair you are always having to get it trimmed! I get mine trimmed like twice a year

ALTHOUGH someone is going to have to explain to me why getting an inch off all around costs 25.00 extra for hair below the shoulders. You are still cutting the same number of hairs no matter how far down the ends are!
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Old 03-02-2012, 03:04 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macele View Post
On the other hand, I do dig crew-cuts, particularly on my butch. I just love to run my hand over the top of it -- *Anya*


anya, i like to run my hand over the top of a crew-cut too! what's that say about me? LOL i'm butch. oh my, what shall i do! lol

love those crew-cuts.

Lol... Mitmo was very apprehensive the first time I took the clippers to my head... I had been going through the long hair period of my hair cycle when we met... Then she put her hands on that freshly cropped head...

Heheh...

Now that I'm growing it back out again, she's like... Sigh... I really like your short hair, I'm going to miss it...

Grin...
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Old 03-02-2012, 03:14 PM   #40
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Slight digression: all of this hair talk reminds me of a post I read on the Planet one time written by a butch that cracked me up.

She got of the airplane and her mother took one look at her and said, "You will shave your head but you won't shave your legs?!"

LOl!
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