The Psychology of Online Dating

2qt · 08-14-2017, 03:58 PM

Thoughts on loving unconditionally, indiscriminately and selflessly?

A long time ago I would have said yes to all of the above...... However over the years I have learnt some valuable lessons & now I am at.......Those who I bring into my personal circle of life.... I absolutely love unconditionally... I am just selective on who I let into that circle in the 1st place... It's a self protection boundary...

If I am hurt by someone I have let in, I find it difficult to connect to them in the same light as I did before & sometimes I do find forgiveness but I love them with a sense of caution if that makes sense? If they deliberately hurt me again I remove them from my life... So in a sense... I guess I do have some conditions on love which I am working on some of those factors.... (How much I am willing to tolerate in my life has a boundary & I find boundaries healthy)

Indiscriminately.... I like to think yes, I love peoples uniqueness & believe everyone has something different they bring to the table & there for I love each of them differently for different reasons.... But like everything... I am selective of who I let into that circle because my personal safe boundary is there for a reason & have learnt over the years that whilst your intentions are good... Not everyone else has that same intention.....

Selflessly..... No... I did once & it drained the life out of me for many years, by loving someone so selflessly I forgot who I was, I forgot how to be me & enjoy being me.... I was mentally & physically exhausted which is not healthy for any person to be involved with romantically or friendly... When I am in love with someone I love them, but I don't compromise myself anymore... Because I matter too & it's taken me a long time to say those 4 words...

I guess boundaries are what always come into play for me... We all have humanity etc but I also think not compromising what makes you healthy & happy should be priority as well...

08-14-2017, 03:58 PM	#30
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,967 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312202	Thoughts on loving unconditionally, indiscriminately and selflessly? A long time ago I would have said yes to all of the above...... However over the years I have learnt some valuable lessons & now I am at.......Those who I bring into my personal circle of life.... I absolutely love unconditionally... I am just selective on who I let into that circle in the 1st place... It's a self protection boundary... If I am hurt by someone I have let in, I find it difficult to connect to them in the same light as I did before & sometimes I do find forgiveness but I love them with a sense of caution if that makes sense? If they deliberately hurt me again I remove them from my life... So in a sense... I guess I do have some conditions on love which I am working on some of those factors.... (How much I am willing to tolerate in my life has a boundary & I find boundaries healthy) Indiscriminately.... I like to think yes, I love peoples uniqueness & believe everyone has something different they bring to the table & there for I love each of them differently for different reasons.... But like everything... I am selective of who I let into that circle because my personal safe boundary is there for a reason & have learnt over the years that whilst your intentions are good... Not everyone else has that same intention..... Selflessly..... No... I did once & it drained the life out of me for many years, by loving someone so selflessly I forgot who I was, I forgot how to be me & enjoy being me.... I was mentally & physically exhausted which is not healthy for any person to be involved with romantically or friendly... When I am in love with someone I love them, but I don't compromise myself anymore... Because I matter too & it's taken me a long time to say those 4 words... I guess boundaries are what always come into play for me... We all have humanity etc but I also think not compromising what makes you healthy & happy should be priority as well...