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Old 07-04-2011, 02:22 PM   #61
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I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.
Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:23 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by blush View Post
Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?


DING DING DING!

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Old 07-04-2011, 02:27 PM   #63
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Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?

Blush,
I think sometimes people don't know how to deal with a situation and they ask for advise.
It's obvious that Okie didn't from the original post.
Why make him feel like he can't open up to all of us when in need?

Yes, perhaps Red should go to the father since it's her family and Okie is at a loss because he can't help her in the way he may want to. I think out of respect for Red, Okie has been holding his tongue at home.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:31 PM   #64
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Exclamation Advice... As asked for

You should go STRAIGHT to the unknowing parent (Mom) no ifs ands or buts, do not stop and make a post go to Childs unknowing parent and give her the information that she DOESN'T know yet all the internets does. It's a no brainer the Mom should have been contacted FIRST. PERIOD.

ETA-

At some point during the party an adult should if advocated for distraught child and set LIMITS at a family function and not ignore distraught Childs feelings. I wonder why this never happened.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:31 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by Andrea View Post
Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?

I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:32 PM   #66
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Blush,
I think sometimes people don't know how to deal with a situation and they ask for advise.
It's obvious that Okie didn't from the original post.
Why make him feel like he can't open up to all of us when in need?

Yes, perhaps Red should go to the father since it's her family and Okie is at a loss because he can't help her in the way he may want to. I think out of respect for Red, Okie has been holding his tongue at home.
Wolfy, I get that the OP is looking for advice. It wouldn't take much to severely compromise this child's privacy. Is discussing this child's situation on the world wide web appropriate to you? I'm sorry, but unless the parents have given consent, it's not to me.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:40 PM   #67
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FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.
I can see I need to revisit my feelings about this subject. Thank you for giving me food for thought.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:40 PM   #68
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I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.
Even with an adult "child" my sexuality is private and so is his and his wife's. Boundaries are important- especially concerning children.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:42 PM   #69
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I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.
Did I miss the post that said the child was somehow aware of what goes on in the parent's bedroom?
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:42 PM   #70
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I've never had kids but aren't most teenagers or preteens embarrassed of their parents, even when the parents are "normal".

Wearing a tail and a collar in public seems pretty innocuous compared to more serious problems kids face these days.

And, homosexuality, butch/femme, transgendered, is still considered abnormal and harmful to children by most Americans.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:42 PM   #71
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I wish we knew about the parents to make an assumption...because that is what we are all doing.

Maybe we should wait for Okie to come back and post before we continue.
Under the assumption that the father is raising the child, maybe the mother has her own problems. Maybe that's why the mom hasn't been told yet.

And no Blush, it isn't ok, but none of us know Okie's or the child's real names. Heck, we don't even know where in OK this is taking place.

I hate to say it, but when we ASSUME
Ya'll know the rest of it
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:44 PM   #72
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On another note, maybe this thread should be moved to the Red Zone, so only members can view it.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:44 PM   #73
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Did I miss the post that said the child was somehow aware of what goes on in the parent's bedroom?

With this I'm out because you are not going to draw the same conclusion I do. Have a nice day. I was speaking in the first person, myself FFS!
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:48 PM   #74
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With this I'm out because you are not going to draw the same conclusion I do. Have a nice day. I was speaking in the first person, myself FFS!
Corkey,

I am sorry I said something that offended you. Please do not leave the conversation because of something I said. I will not address you further so as not to offend.

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Old 07-04-2011, 02:49 PM   #75
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I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.
The more healthy experiences a child has and the more different (and healthy!) situations/types/identities/etc a child is privvy to growing up leads to a more open-minded adult, I think. It sounds like you've planted some good seeds there.

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I wish we knew about the parents to make an assumption...because that is what we are all doing.

Maybe we should wait for Okie to come back and post before we continue.
Under the assumption that the father is raising the child, maybe the mother has her own problems. Maybe that's why the mom hasn't been told yet.

And no Blush, it isn't ok, but none of us know Okie's or the child's real names. Heck, we don't even know where in OK this is taking place.

I hate to say it, but when we ASSUME
Ya'll know the rest of it
Perhaps the non-custodial parent (the father) has the boy for the summer vacation. Perhaps not.

Blush raised a good point with privacy issues, especially since some of these details are very easily recognized.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:51 PM   #76
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Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)
Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.

Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:01 PM   #77
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Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.
How are the dad and his girlfriend forcing the kid to do something against his will? Other than embarrassing him by going out in public while the girlfriend wears a tail and collar. I wouldn't consider that sexual abuse. Did I miss something?
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:04 PM   #78
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I'm going to have to start at the beginning...are we talking about the furries?

Every year they have their convention here in Pittsburgh. It was just two week ends ago.

It's no differeent than the Trekkies (people who dress and act in character
of the star trek people)

OK, off to read before I coment
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:05 PM   #79
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How is it abuse? How are they forcing the kid to do anything besides look at them wearing a tail, lock and key? Nobody knows the whole story. Everybody has their mind on the sexual situations that could happen between pops and his old lady when the OP did not once mention anything sexual, you people and your dirty minds.

Also since when do fucking queers or anyone else have the right to say what is right or wrong. You don't understand Furries because you don't know anything about it, just like some people don't know anything about queers so they call it wrong? Oh but then it hurts everyone's feelings.

So some people like to wear tails. I happen to have a friend that is a furry, wears a tail and it is NOT A BUTT PLUG! There is nothing kinky about it, she showed the other end of it to me. She just likes to dress like an animal. As much shit as we get, how can any queers condemn anything else that anybody does?
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:16 PM   #80
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I am not even going to waste any more of my time reading this thread. Furries harm no one.

As different as WE ALL ARE, how dare any of us throw stones.....shaking my head. If you don't know what a furrie is, do some damn research.

A fucking butt plug......

I'm with you Corkey OUT, and I was never in.
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