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Old 09-02-2011, 10:38 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by W.A.J.Q. View Post
Yup. I am a feminine girl who only feel attracted to other feminine woman.
But I think what is femme and butch is in the style. Etc. I have very typical boyish style as personality. But I am still feminine, I think you can be butch and have typical girly interests and still be a butch, that is all in the looks and style you got.

I want a feminine girlfriend.
I don't mean to offend anyone now, but I think butches remind me to much of men, and if I would date someone who was like a man, I would date a man.
I am not attracted to butches at all but I would like to have good friends of all sexualitites, identities, ethnicities and gender.

/ R


Welcome to the Planet. I know you said you don't want to offend anyone, but the moment you say a butch is like a man, you are going to start a riot in here.

Your tastes and preferences are yours and that makes them okay for you. Rather than saying what you don't want, I recommend sticking to what you do want.

This way you won't wave a big red flag at folks.

I mean imagine if I said that I don't want to date femmes because they remind me too much of myself or that I was afraid they'd use up all my perfume. Right? Kinda of silly.

I like butches. I like femmes. One I want to have sex with. The other I want to be friends with. I don't think butches are men. I think they express their version of butchness with flair and style. Some come across as men because they are men in their hearts. Others aren't. We have butches of all flavors here...you will hear from those who are genderqueer as well. Please please please don't think I'm jumping on you. I'm not. I'm trying to show you ways you can express what you want without putting down someone else.

Again, welcome to the Planet. I am glad you are here and hope you will grow and learn with us.
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:23 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W.A.J.Q. View Post
Yup. I am a feminine girl who only feel attracted to other feminine woman.
But I think what is femme and butch is in the style. Etc. I have very typical boyish style as personality. But I am still feminine, I think you can be butch and have typical girly interests and still be a butch, that is all in the looks and style you got.

I want a feminine girlfriend.
I don't mean to offend anyone now, but I think butches remind me to much of men, and if I would date someone who was like a man, I would date a man.
I am not attracted to butches at all but I would like to have good friends of all sexualitites, identities, ethnicities and gender.

/ R
Hi, WAJQ --

Welcome to The Planet. While we encourage people to express their desires here, we ask that they do so without denigrating the desires of others or making statements such as the one you did above about how "Butches remind me of men".

Not all Butches identify as men, male or masculine. It is very hurtful to see such a heteronormative diatribe on a Forum geared towards Butches and Femmes across the vast spectrum that is our community.

To be clear, what you said is what we hear from straight people all the time, and it is not acceptable here on the Planet.

If you have any questions, please private message me. If you do this type of thing again, we will most likely give you a timeout so you can decide if this is the place for you or not.

Thanks,
June (Moderating)
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:30 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W.A.J.Q. View Post
Yup. I am a feminine girl who only feel attracted to other feminine woman.
But I think what is femme and butch is in the style.

It can be and it is for some people, for others of us it's our gender identity, it's an identity, a descriptor it all really depends on who is using it and how they are identifying. It's like me I guess I can *butch* it up with some pants and a tie and shirt but honestly butch is a whole other entity I am not I hope that makes sense..

Etc. I have very typical boyish style as personality. But I am still feminine, I think you can be butch and have typical girly interests and still be a butch, that is all in the looks and style you got.

I think we all can have interests that aren't gender specific to girl or boy. I'm not a *domesticated* femme, I don't do crafts and other things I like sports, cigars and snakes. I do think you hit something cause maybe what you think is style is "swagger" I do think butches, femme, and other queer identities have swagger that differs from the other!!!


I want a feminine girlfriend.
I don't mean to offend anyone now, but I think butches remind me to much of men, and if I would date someone who was like a man, I would date a man.

Butches do not equate to men, they are not like some binary replacement in our community. They are an intricate part of our queer culture and history. We have many varieties of butch here on Butch Femme Planet. You have Butch Women, Male I'd Butch, Transgender Butch, Butch Dyke, Butch, Butch Lesbian, Female Identified Butch. I don't as do a lot of our community see Butch as man.




I am not attracted to butches at all but I would like to have good friends of all sexualitites, identities, ethnicities and gender.

/ R

I think you will find all kinds of friendships here on BFP that range in the gender and identity spectrum. It's hard being new to a place where there's friendships going on and conversations that you thought you would never have about fluffy stuff, gender, identity, and a whole lotta nothing.. I do hope you make a lot of friendly connections and find long lasting friendships, I have!!!

It's like a biggo queer family we argue, cry, laugh, but everyday we turn on our computer and connect.

Thanks for letting me chit chat with you enjoy your time here!!!
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Old 09-02-2011, 12:23 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by lettertodaddy View Post
Just curious - how many of us who identify as femme are attracted to other femmes?

I'm looking through all of the people who are recommended matches for me on OKCupid and all of them (except one) presents as Femme. And while they're each lovely in their own way, not a single one interests me in a sexual/romantic kind of way. I pay attention to and respond to butches only. Is that weird?
No its not weird! Attraction and desire are unique to every person, it is not set in stone; and, who knows, 5 or 10 years from now you might meet the femme love of your life or the butch love of your live, or the FTM or the MTF love of your life or just the person you know is the right one for you in whatever way, shape or form they come in..................

Melissa [currently in the throes of giant femme crush on Rachel from Big Brother in all her hot red-headed glitteriness).
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:10 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Arwen View Post


Welcome to the Planet. I know you said you don't want to offend anyone, but the moment you say a butch is like a man, you are going to start a riot in here.

Your tastes and preferences are yours and that makes them okay for you. Rather than saying what you don't want, I recommend sticking to what you do want.

This way you won't wave a big red flag at folks.

I mean imagine if I said that I don't want to date femmes because they remind me too much of myself or that I was afraid they'd use up all my perfume. Right? Kinda of silly.

I like butches. I like femmes. One I want to have sex with. The other I want to be friends with. I don't think butches are men. I think they express their version of butchness with flair and style. Some come across as men because they are men in their hearts. Others aren't. We have butches of all flavors here...you will hear from those who are genderqueer as well. Please please please don't think I'm jumping on you. I'm not. I'm trying to show you ways you can express what you want without putting down someone else.

Again, welcome to the Planet. I am glad you are here and hope you will grow and learn with us.
I did not say they are men, I said they remind me of men.
Well, I think it's all up to you if you think that about femmes. I wouldn't be offended.
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:11 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Nat View Post
I've been attracted to a wide range of people, including a few femmes.

My partner is neither butch nor femme - or she's kinda both in different moments and sometimes at the same moment. And she is damn fine in all her aspects.
Ditto this post.
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:18 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by June View Post

Not all Butches identify as men, male or masculine. It is very hurtful to see such a heteronormative diatribe on a Forum geared towards Butches and Femmes across the vast spectrum that is our community.

To be clear, what you said is what we hear from straight people all the time, and it is not acceptable here on the Planet.
I didn't say anything about identifying as a man, I talked about looks and style.
In which way is my comment heteronormative? I said what I think, and what I feel. I know butches are women, but they remind me of men, too much that I can't be attracted to them. I like pure feminine looks.

Just as you can't generalize lgbt people, you can't neither generalize straight people. Not all straight people have a homophobic attitude, not all lesbians are butch, not all lesbians are femmes, not all gays are masculine and not all gays are feminine and so on.

Well if I was straight I wouldn't be on this forum...
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:24 PM   #28
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"But I think what is femme and butch is in the style."

So me, who always wear make up, always fix my hair, wear feminine clothes, often pink and tight clothes who show my curves, are butch just because I am interested in typical male interests?
Masculine and feminine as a style is always changing. But the "rules" of masculinity and femininity in appearance are always the same.


"I think we all can have interests that aren't gender specific to girl or boy. I'm not a *domesticated* femme, I don't do crafts and other things I like sports, cigars and snakes. I do think you hit something cause maybe what you think is style is "swagger" I do think butches, femme, and other queer identities have swagger that differs from the other!!!"

Well, if you are feminine in your appearance, you are a femme as I would see.


"Butches do not equate to men, they are not like some binary replacement in our community. They are an intricate part of our queer culture and history. We have many varieties of butch here on Butch Femme Planet. You have Butch Women, Male I'd Butch, Transgender Butch, Butch Dyke, Butch, Butch Lesbian, Female Identified Butch. I don't as do a lot of our community see Butch as man."

I neither said that they are men, read my post again.
I said they remind me to much, of men. I never said that they are men.
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:53 PM   #29
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WAJQ --

In addition to the now 4 PM exchanges we have had in private, I just noticed that you are continuing this in the thread as well.

You need to stop derailing this thread about Femme on Femme with your lack of desire for Butches and the reasons you have, which we are all aware of.

You have been warned by a Moderator and two members have attempted to explain to you why the language you used is hurtful.

I am about to give you a timeout if you do not stop belaboring the issue and allow the thread to move forward.

--June (Moderating)
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Old 09-02-2011, 02:37 PM   #30
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I haven't read through all the posts because I'm lazy today, but wanted to toss in my 3 cents worth

Some people are attracted to the person and not the identity of the person
Our hearts will tell us who we'll love not our heads
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:24 PM   #31
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Talking Yes I Am!

My gf is a lipstick lesbian but I have noticed that other femmes certainly catch my eye! Even though I'm femme I've been accused of being butch just because I'll make comments about another femme's body or how she's dressed. Not that I mind, I just shrug it off and continue to appreciate the view
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Old 01-01-2018, 01:46 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by lettertodaddy View Post
Just curious - how many of us who identify as femme are attracted to other femmes?

I'm looking through all of the people who are recommended matches for me on OKCupid and all of them (except one) presents as Femme. And while they're each lovely in their own way, not a single one interests me in a sexual/romantic kind of way. I pay attention to and respond to butches only. Is that weird?
Not me, never have been. I've always been attracted to butches.

Deborah
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Old 01-01-2018, 06:41 PM   #33
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKYKNZvQ6Jc

I've been with mostly femmes, and I would do this one in a heart beat!

I mean, if we were compatible and all...
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Old 01-01-2018, 06:46 PM   #34
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With that said, I also adore the butch/femme dynamic.
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:22 PM   #35
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When I was first out I dated whomever I was attracted to. I dated some beautiful Femmes, but it soon became clear to me that the spark was not there for me. We became gal pals. I started to date Butches and that is who I fit with.

I am attracted to masculinity. Always have been and always will be. My preference is not males, and butches in no way are males, the scent, skin and even their hair if they don't shave, are not the same as males. (So that comment was a bit strange to me)but to each their own I always say. I have dated hard butches, stone butches, trans butches, soft and androgynous butches. To me, the fashion choice is not what makes a Butch, it is the energy they give off.

My love will always be the Butch/Femme dance.
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