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Old 07-16-2011, 01:14 PM   #41
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This is one of the areas I am a hard ass.
I am speaking first dates.
DO NOT take me to an expensive restaurant.
If you are picking me up, which is unlikely on a first date... Do not honk the horn.
Do not EVER buy me a gift - not even on the 2nd or 3rd date.
Do not bring me flowers or try to woo me on the first date.
If you do not put a napkin on your lap, we will never date again.

For a first date, at least for me. It must be casual and well meaning. If you try and impress me, I will close right up and get lost in my thoughts. If you tell me you want to be a parent/grandparent (without having kids) on the first date - I will think you want instant family.

Look at me in the eyes when you speak.
Be respectful of the wait staff.

Do not try and buy my kids or me.
Neither of us are for sale.

Just be yourself, as you would with any other friend. And I will be the same with you.
And please when we say goodnight and I kiss you (I will let you know if it's okay). Don't shove your tongue down my throat and pin up against a wall. Unless, it is only sex you want and not a second date - of which, you will get neither.

GOD - It's amazing I ever got to a second date.

And please, never ever ever buy me a gift card. I think this is one of the most impersonal gifts known to all. Unless, we are already a couple and you know I won't go and buy such and such. I adore flowers, but really prefer wild ones, with weeds mixed in the bunch. Pick me up rocks from the ground and give them to me - Rocks could actually be given on a first date. I think it's romantic and something tangible and memorable.

Next! (actually next is a common word for me, when dating).
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:24 PM   #42
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lol the napkin thing reminded me of my first date with a long term partner:

I had met her at a munch and her ballsy attitude and forthrightness really impressed me - she asked me out for a meal directly after the (cake and tea) munch was over. I said sure. we went to an italian place near by because we didn't want to spend too much time looking for a place. It was soho and most places are a bit expensive and a bit up their own arse. When the meal came and we were talking, she flicked out her napkin and tucked the end in her Ben Sherman shirt very carefully and started eating. People at the restaurant openly stared at her. She continued eating and chatting (not at the same time, she's actually a very careful eater) and I was so impressed by her not giving a sh*t about the diners I knew we'd be dating again right there. She left a good tip for the wait staff and thanked them for the excellent food and good service.

She was a keeper for a good 2.5 years. but that napkin in the neck, the way she pulled that off with casual pride, impressed me to no end. To me that says "take me for who the fuck I am." and I really liked that.
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:38 PM   #43
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I don't do the blind date thing.

I have to have been in your company and at least know you *some* before it ever gets to the date point.

In the mean time, I'm running down my check list. Do you know how to have fun? It can be the littlest of things....will I see you playing toss with the dog? Maybe the furball prefers a frisbee? I'm very outdoorsy. Will you walk in the woods on a hike? Do you own a bicycle that you ride? Does everything you do involve a cooler of beer? What does your vehical look like? I don't care if it's an older model...but as many have stated, I do care if it's loaded down with drive thru bags. Have you washed the vehical recently? Things have gone on in the economy that have affected people
in some very painful ways. I have a friend who had to let her car go and another friend at age 49, who had to move in with her parents. How are you handling these types of life changing events, IF something to this effect has happened to you.....because as we all know, life goes on. That will speak volumes to me about your character. I'm not about money nor am I about material...they are just things. I am about character and intergrity. So show me your true colors, you'll see mine. I am what I am.
Nothing pretentious about me. Oh, one final thing....please do not try to impress me. Actions speak louder than words. If I am comfortable in your company, we may get to the *date*
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:38 PM   #44
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Cool How I want to be treated during a date

I am a simple femme; I am neither comfortable with fancy restaurants or the stuffy clothes you wear to fancy restaurants. On the other hand, I do like for us to get dressed up once in a while, say for a special occasion like my love's b-day.

Since I consider myself a simple femme, just spending time together is fine for me. We don't have to 'do' anything, we can just 'be'. Does that make sense?

Put away the cell phone! Don't play the games on your phone or get on Twitter or Facebook while on a date with me.

I really enjoy eye contact while we are talking, it lets me know you are listening to me. I also enjoy sitting outside in the evening, using that time to get to know each other is priceless.

As I've seen in other posts I agree completely that good oral hygiene is a must!

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Old 07-16-2011, 01:50 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amiyesiam View Post
Oh this was so much fun
you will never know how happy I was
knowing that you were gonna get a surprise
I am such a geek
and
you took forever to get to the post office


so dating
I don't date
Corkey won't let me
Not sure why that is (snort)
anyway
being the odd duck that I am
while I LOVE surprising other people (those that actually love to be surprised)
I personally don't care to be surprised (ever)
I love knowing exactly what I am getting for B-day etc weeks ahead of time and joyfully waiting till I get it.
I prefer (read want/need) to be involved in the planning of my life
so back in the day (before marriage)
I liked to plan dates together
split the costs or take turns
being polite etc is a given
treating others well is a given
but then so is living within one's means
being able to be yourself and being able to relax
I really want to be comfortable, feel excepted, etc and want the other person to feel that way too.
cause ya know at some point if things work out you may end up living together
personally I don't want to live together and be all formal
home is the place you get to relax and escape from the world
if you are a beer drinking, sports watching in your boxers kind of butch well then you better let that special femme know that side of you exists. Though I would not recommend wearing just boxers on the first date
It is nice if you also clean up well and do know how to behave in public.
Be honest, be honest, be honest
no one is perfect
and we all have our querks




I would....
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:53 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkey View Post

I would....
oh ok
you win
on our next first date
you can just wear boxers
of course
we will be ordering in
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:56 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by amiyesiam View Post
oh ok
you win
on our next first date
you can just wear boxers
of course
we will be ordering in

Runs around da house nekkid Yippieeeeee!
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:57 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkey View Post
Runs around da house nekkid Yippieeeeee!
Christ man, shut the drapes
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Old 07-16-2011, 01:58 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by amiyesiam View Post
Christ man, shut the drapes

Why?
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Old 07-16-2011, 02:00 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkey View Post
Why?
one word: Judy
she is old and in bad health
and she checks up on us
by looking out her kitchen window
and looking into our living room
oh, wait
she has probably seen it all before
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Old 07-16-2011, 02:02 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amiyesiam View Post
one word: Judy
she is old and in bad health
and she checks up on us
by looking out her kitchen window
and looking into our living room
oh, wait
she has probably seen it all before
If she hasn't I'd be afeared
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Old 07-16-2011, 02:03 PM   #52
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this derail has been brought to you by the letters A and C
now back to the actual thread topic
sorry *giggle*
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Old 07-16-2011, 02:58 PM   #53
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I haven't actually dated a lot, so I'm only an authority on what I like (or imagine I would...) and, like ami, it's hypothetical since Scoote hates it when I date.

Anyway...like June posted, I'm actually not comfortable with someone paying for me. I'm fine if we stop for a coffee and you pay....but I'm not comfortable with you taking me out and spending a great deal. If we end up in a relationship then we can talk about how we want to manage our finances and I might get more flexible (but don't count on it )

For me, the key is to pay attention...and communicate. Like others have said...turn off the phone, don't text, don't lecture me or dominate the conversation. Talk to me. Be courteous to me, and also to others - including servers and strangers.

I prefer to do something that allows us to talk...and that really can be a cup of coffee, even at McDonald's. The beach is good, parks are good, movies are good as long as we can talk about it afterwards (and not during it or I'll be very irritated with you).

You don't need to open my door or pull out my chair...and definitely don't try to impress me. Be yourself - and if your self is a nice self...then I'm happy.
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Old 07-16-2011, 03:37 PM   #54
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Smile Time

For me it is the time spent with me on the date...
I am just as happy walking the beach with the date as sitting in a concert... Well more happy with the beach.. we are able to talk and i do love to talk and be heard .... I guess it is the company that is most important to me.. Don't get me wrong I do love to be taken out from time to time... But a quick call saying hey do you feel like getting out and hitting the park or beach or just enjoying each other is just as important to me.
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Old 07-16-2011, 03:50 PM   #55
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wine me, dine me, 69 me. lol oppps

Your all funny.

I ain't never turning down a gift. Bring me lots of flowers. Spoil me. I'll spoil ya back. Don't ever keep me waiting.
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Old 07-16-2011, 04:06 PM   #56
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Gawd I hate dates.

Take me fishing, that'll work. Let me drive the boat please and thank you.
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Old 07-16-2011, 05:25 PM   #57
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You are so badddddd....lol. Great posts all!!!! Hope is okay for a "butch" to post! I got "derailed" once already!!! lol Clay
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wine me, dine me, 69 me. lol oppps

Your all funny.

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Old 07-16-2011, 06:02 PM   #58
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I don't date anymore ...wait we still do date nite so I suppose I do date. But just Him *grin*

On our first *official* date, Daddy took me to a Red Sox game !!!!

He listened to me when we talked about what I liked. So this dyed in the wool Yankee Fan got really great seats and took me to a Red Sox game.

I don't need fancy dinners to impress me, but I do like to get dressed up and enjoy an evening out on the town.

Flowers don't impress me anymore because they die, but to have something planted just for me is the bomb.

Strolls on the beach and stop by a place that sells seafood wins my heart, even tho He doesn't eat it, he always picks a place that He knows they offer seafood because I do.

For me it's the little things, making sure we have a place to enjoy our meal and conversation.

and allowing me to pay now and then - I like planning a date as well and I like knowing we went somewhere special as my treat. I think a lot of people just assume a butch has to pay and I don't. If I'm flush I'm all about spoiling my date - well He's my last date lol but I do love to spoil him in return.

I'm digressing - I guess what I would add is find out what she likes, and pay attention to her. Put away the cell phone, and try to go somewhere new where you have the time to give her the attention and not your friends who happen to be hanging in your favorite place.

The spit and shine is a given, even if it's a beach date a clean butch is a dateable butch lol.

Open her door, shower her with attention, if you feel the need bring her a single rose to let her know you were thinking of her. IMHO giving presents on a date is not something I would want....

If you get to date 2 by then you know her fav music and bringing along a cd is acceptable.

Don't get drunk!! nothing worse than being with someone and you're drunk and you're their ride home.

Keep your ex in a neat lil box where she belongs.....I can't stress that enough. You're dating her not the ex lol

Be yourself, be pleasant and charming, the person you presented to her when you asked for the date.

Don't assume sex - it's a date not a committment
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:59 PM   #59
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My biggest pet peeve: " I don't know, what do YOU want to do?"

So help me, if you ask me out and you don't have a plan, I will get right out of that car and go back in the house!

i love surprises. One time a very good friend of mine picked me up at my house and made me put a blindfold on. After an hour I was still giddy, but mildly cranky and started being a pain in the butt. He parked and let me peek out the bottom of the blindfold so i could see the paving stone path I needed to walk on, then i had to be all blindfolded again until he put my hand on a railing and it sounded like thunder everywhere.

He took me to Niagara Falls at night to see the lightshow on the mist. It was the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me, and it surprised the hell out of me.

A surprise. Something beautiful. Plenty of time to talk or just be quiet and enjoy the experience together. That's what I love.

Although, at this point I would just be happy to get asked out at all. I'm with some of the others who have posted here, I'm over being the emotional and financial support for masculine-types who have some work to do. Maybe I'm less warm now that I'm looking out for myself, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:11 PM   #60
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To me...a first date is really important. You know the old saying "You only get one chance to make a first impression". I find that to be true. And a good impression needn't be made with an expensive dinner, or gifts. To me, its all about respect. Putting effort or thought into a date shows that you think I am special, and that my company is valued. Treat me like a lady...that may sound old fashioned, but that is what I am and I want to be treated as such.
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