What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)? - Page 11

Katelar · 08-10-2013, 03:29 PM

1) Communication; talk to me, discuss, debate, let me know what you think and why. Make some of the choices and don't wait for me to do everything.

2) Something to get up for in the morning; whether that's a job, a vocation, education, anything. Just something that gives you a life away from 'us'.

3) Honesty; don't lie, i'll know. Without honesty there can be no trust.

and a cheeky fourth

4) Cuddles and 'Us' time is essential; Sex is a two way street but let me take charge

Gráinne · 08-10-2013, 04:55 PM

Back again:

1. Passion-not just of the obvious kind, but passion as a way of life, a passion for life. Includes having passions outside of the relationship.

2. The ability to be present in the moment with me, whatever is going on. You won't always "get" me, but really trying is important. I will reciprocate with you.

3. The ability to face your challenges and problems and see them as opportunities for real change. Even if they beat you down at first, the ability to come back stronger.

Chad · 08-10-2013, 05:54 PM

Always the same three for me;

!. No cheating

2. No lying

3. No stealing

Actually, I have more than three but maybe that is on another thread.

Lead by example.

Mari · 08-10-2013, 06:38 PM

1. Someone who knows and is true to who they are.

2. Someone of strong character and integrity.

3. Someone with a passion for every area of their life.

MysticOceansFL · 08-10-2013, 07:01 PM

1. Don't lie 2. Cheat 3. Or steal.

Have a sense of humor
be able to communicate
be able to forgive because if you cant do that how can you go forward in life?
Be faithful
trusting and have morals

Koffeelvr · 08-10-2013, 07:07 PM

Must haves:

Integrity

Kindness

Wisdom

Followed close by a healthy sense of adventure

NorCalStud · 08-10-2013, 07:09 PM

emotional honesty
Likes to have a clean home
Communicates

Asari · 08-11-2013, 07:19 AM

1. A (nearly) similar view on spirituality, philosophy and ethics.
Indispensable attribute. Prevents major conflicts.

2. Healthy self-discipline.
There are no Problems, just challenges. Fear? Conquer it. Bored? Open your eyes for the miracles around you.

(If it's going to be a sexual relationship)
3. Attractiveness.
Female masculinity and a dominant aura is a good start. Or s/he is an anthropomorphic alien. *cough*

SleepyButch · 08-11-2013, 08:09 AM

Hmmmm....

Honesty

Affectionate

Must love dogs

Sweet Bliss · 08-11-2013, 08:51 AM

I don't share nicely, so NO open policy

I am not looking for pain = love, if you are keep walking away

I am the Domestic Goddess you always dreamed of having by your side ...
Not your slave, step up or get lost.

Okie dokie, there, some honest to gawd honesty.

It's Sunday morning, and yes, I'm putting it out there. Scorpio rising today. Feels fabulous.

Pixie · 08-11-2013, 09:20 AM

1. Fluid communication (with that is honesty....that ultimately develops trust)

2. Flexibility/Open-mindedness...one must hold themselves with compassion and understanding in order to express/live by these

3. Independence...Yes I want you to want me, yes I want time with you....but I also want time with out you, time away, time to appreciate the time I have with you.

Sweet Bliss · 08-11-2013, 10:30 AM

SCORPIO QUEEN OF CUPS Diving into emotional situations is best. Get in deep for best results. Work out emotional knots by addressing them head on.

See, Arwen said so. Feels good to say things outloud sometimes. I'm going to do this more often.

ONLY · 08-11-2013, 11:04 AM

1. no smoking
2. no cats
3. no coming home drunk and obnoxious

and few others that are regarded as "normal"

LexiLove · 10-27-2013, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Chocolate is medicinal....even at times, better than boobs.

GASP!!! I didn't realize there were things that were better than boobs...(and I am a chocolate fiend.)

ButchKnight · 10-28-2013, 10:47 PM

good communicator
loves to kiss
loyalty means something

Nat · 10-28-2013, 11:28 PM

I think I'm still figuring these out, but almost everything I've thought of falls under this category:

Treats self and others with respect

kittygrrl · 10-30-2013, 05:00 PM

principled
passionate
ready

Sweet Bliss · 10-31-2013, 05:23 PM

Funny
non smoking (please, please, please )
Thinks I'm funny ... cuz I am.

silkepus · 12-28-2013, 01:45 PM

My number one rule in any relationship is to never expect something Im not willing to give.

but non-negotioable things

Respecting and trusting each other

Having that certain sumtin' sumtin' connection.

Sharing a sense of humor is also very important.

They wouldnt have to share all my interests and I dont expect to share all of theirs, but they would have to be accepting and propbably try to take part in them a little and I would do the same for them.

~ocean · 12-28-2013, 02:06 PM

non - negtionalbes

1. my finances are just that MINE ~
2. lies ~ not allowed ~ I 'll end it right there and then ~
3. no physical violence ~

08-10-2013, 04:55 PM	#202
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,818 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,010 Thanked 7,246 Times in 1,416 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Back again: 1. Passion-not just of the obvious kind, but passion as a way of life, a passion for life. Includes having passions outside of the relationship. 2. The ability to be present in the moment with me, whatever is going on. You won't always "get" me, but really trying is important. I will reciprocate with you. 3. The ability to face your challenges and problems and see them as opportunities for real change. Even if they beat you down at first, the ability to come back stronger. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

08-10-2013, 05:54 PM	#203
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,325 Times in 5,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Non-negotiable Always the same three for me; !. No cheating 2. No lying 3. No stealing Actually, I have more than three but maybe that is on another thread. Lead by example.

08-10-2013, 07:01 PM	#205
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,035 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	1. Don't lie 2. Cheat 3. Or steal. Have a sense of humor be able to communicate be able to forgive because if you cant do that how can you go forward in life? Be faithful trusting and have morals __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

08-10-2013, 07:09 PM	#207
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918587	must have emotional honesty Likes to have a clean home Communicates __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

08-11-2013, 07:19 AM	#208
Asari Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Germany Posts: 146 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 563 Thanked 275 Times in 90 Posts Rep Power: 4780806	1. A (nearly) similar view on spirituality, philosophy and ethics. Indispensable attribute. Prevents major conflicts. 2. Healthy self-discipline. There are no Problems, just challenges. Fear? Conquer it. Bored? Open your eyes for the miracles around you. (If it's going to be a sexual relationship) 3. Attractiveness. Female masculinity and a dominant aura is a good start. Or s/he is an anthropomorphic alien. cough __________________ “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” Mahatma Gandhi

08-10-2013, 03:29 PM	#201
Katelar Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer/Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Ball and Chain Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28 Thanked 77 Times in 20 Posts Rep Power: 429508	1) Communication; talk to me, discuss, debate, let me know what you think and why. Make some of the choices and don't wait for me to do everything. 2) Something to get up for in the morning; whether that's a job, a vocation, education, anything. Just something that gives you a life away from 'us'. 3) Honesty; don't lie, i'll know. Without honesty there can be no trust. and a cheeky fourth 4) Cuddles and 'Us' time is essential; Sex is a two way street but let me take charge

08-10-2013, 06:38 PM	#204
Mari Member How Do You Identify?: Femme with a twist of lime Preferred Pronoun?: Feminine ones Relationship Status: Creating a Life! Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: TX Posts: 114 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 207 Thanked 172 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 3118018	1. Someone who knows and is true to who they are. 2. Someone of strong character and integrity. 3. Someone with a passion for every area of their life.

08-10-2013, 07:07 PM	#206
Koffeelvr Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Washington DC Posts: 16 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14 Thanked 54 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 429508	Must haves: Integrity Kindness Wisdom Followed close by a healthy sense of adventure

08-11-2013, 08:09 AM	#209
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,510 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,244 Times in 2,753 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Hmmmm.... Honesty Affectionate Must love dogs __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

08-11-2013, 08:51 AM	#210
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I don't share nicely, so NO open policy I am not looking for pain = love, if you are keep walking away I am the Domestic Goddess you always dreamed of having by your side ... Not your slave, step up or get lost. Okie dokie, there, some honest to gawd honesty. It's Sunday morning, and yes, I'm putting it out there. Scorpio rising today. Feels fabulous.

08-11-2013, 09:20 AM	#211
Pixie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Equal Opportunity Friend Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: in service Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sacramento! Posts: 2,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,691 Thanked 4,104 Times in 1,332 Posts Rep Power: 15274783	1. Fluid communication (with that is honesty....that ultimately develops trust) 2. Flexibility/Open-mindedness...one must hold themselves with compassion and understanding in order to express/live by these 3. Independence...Yes I want you to want me, yes I want time with you....but I also want time with out you, time away, time to appreciate the time I have with you. __________________ Unexplored glimmering in the rough How does a diamond hide? -Pixie-

08-11-2013, 10:30 AM	#212
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	SCORPIO QUEEN OF CUPS Diving into emotional situations is best. Get in deep for best results. Work out emotional knots by addressing them head on. See, Arwen said so. Feels good to say things outloud sometimes. I'm going to do this more often.

08-11-2013, 11:04 AM	#213
ONLY Senior Member How Do You Identify?: well my girl calls me honeybear, sugarbear, sexy beast, hot tamale..... Preferred Pronoun?: female pronouns Relationship Status: Married to my Rare Beauty with a Beautiful Soul.....SS Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: eastern ontario, canada Posts: 2,783 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 975 Thanked 1,735 Times in 679 Posts Rep Power: 15139963	1. no smoking 2. no cats 3. no coming home drunk and obnoxious and few others that are regarded as "normal" __________________ *"If you talk about it, it's a dream, if you envision it, it's possible, but if you schedule it, it's real. "*

10-28-2013, 10:47 PM	#215
ButchKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Butch/Daddy to the right Woman/girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Midwest Posts: 234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 382 Thanked 240 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3337847	good communicator loves to kiss loyalty means something __________________ BK GO PACK GO AARON RODGERS

10-28-2013, 11:28 PM	#216
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,993 Times in 2,596 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I think I'm still figuring these out, but almost everything I've thought of falls under this category: Treats self and others with respect __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

10-30-2013, 05:00 PM	#217
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: je ne sais quoi Preferred Pronoun?: baby grrl Relationship Status: a few laughs Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the real Posts: 8,802 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,381 Thanked 21,371 Times in 6,721 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	principled passionate ready __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

10-31-2013, 05:23 PM	#218
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Funny non smoking (please, please, please ) Thinks I'm funny ... cuz I am.

12-28-2013, 01:45 PM	#219
silkepus Member How Do You Identify?: covered in ink and glitter Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: watching pictures of cats on tumblr Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Scandinavia Posts: 382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 359 Thanked 702 Times in 196 Posts Rep Power: 10186796	My number one rule in any relationship is to never expect something Im not willing to give. but non-negotioable things Respecting and trusting each other Having that certain sumtin' sumtin' connection. Sharing a sense of humor is also very important. They wouldnt have to share all my interests and I dont expect to share all of theirs, but they would have to be accepting and propbably try to take part in them a little and I would do the same for them.

12-28-2013, 02:06 PM	#220
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,124 Times in 4,736 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	non - negtionalbes 1. my finances are just that MINE ~ 2. lies ~ not allowed ~ I 'll end it right there and then ~ 3. no physical violence ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean