Breaking it down - describe the Femme that you are

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Tucker

I am an Orchid. I may seem delicate but I am stronger than most think.

So you need much water?? *smirk*

[Strappie]

The power of a Femme is simply amazing!

Ladies... all I can say is this thread is AMAZING! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and your soul.

[oblivia]

I am...

A little girl femme: Carefree and truly adoring of rainbows... butterflies... rainbows... pink... unicorns... and eating lucky charms for breakfast at work much to the dismay of my special-k and kashi-crunching coworkers.

A professional femme: A would-be workaholic intent on maintaining work-life balance and mostly succeeding, an office mouse and not a corporate climber. I'm most content in the guts of the business, working the business not watching it and have no interest in stepping into middle (or upper) management.

A pagan femme: My spiritual path lies mostly on the shores of Avalon with my like-minded Sisters but it also is on my Yoga mat and in dharma and meditation and a good old fashioned full moon circle.

A believer femme: I believe. I believe in people, I believe in the people I love. I believe in things that people tell me I shouldn't believe in - like Unicorns and fairies and dragons and true love. I'm not afraid to believe. I've been hurt like crazy for believing, and I will never stop.

A kinky femme: I am a submissive and a masochist but my masochism is never really just physical, there is always an emotional link or need or connection with the experience. I have had transformative experiences on the cross or over a bench or up on a rack and I continue to have transformative experiences every time I dive deeper into my submission and commitment to my Owner (who is also my Wife).

A shy femme: I'm an online socializer and am shy or timid (or ridiculously babbly and unfocused) in person. It's hard for me to make friends in person because I feel awkward and I trust people too easily and am too invested in their opinion of me. I am raw and real and this makes me vulnerable. But I am authentic and so the friendships I do make are genuine ones.

A romantic femme: I know I am a walking stereotype in some ways. I like to be the nurturer and the cook and the homemaker and the child-rearer and the white-picket fence gazer. I love old fashioned chivalry. I love romantic gestures. I'm that girl that swoons over hand picked daisies and a surprise picnic and thinks romance isn't about money but about heartfelt gestures that make me feel appreciated. I thrive on finding ways to let my one and only know how appreciated and adored she is as well, and this is part of the romantic thrill for me.

A mothering femme: Parenting is a part of my identity now, because it has - in so many ways - changed my outlook on life, my priorities, and my ability to deal with life and to accept responsibility for myself, my actions, and their consequences. Being a parent to these boys (young men now) has been and is one of the most rewarding things about my life.

A questioning, seeking femme: I'm always learning, growing, evolving and becoming. I fit best with others who are also on this path. Being on a growth path/journey in this life can be challenging... and it can be hard to make friends and then lose them as your paths go different directions or one moves on while the other has to stay a while. Growing hurts, but it's worth it.

A silly femme: no explanation required.

[Puplove]

I am my own self, who I know I am and who I love.
I do not fit into the traditional girly girl, I do not fit into an andro description - I am myself.
Very femme in that I love my feminine self, sparkles, glitter, dresses etc.
Very myself in that I recognize that I love all the feminine things but do not love to take the trouble to wear them.
I am comfortable in myself, my non-made-up self, in jammies or torn up shorts and tshirt. And I don't have to wear dresses or makeup to be recognized as a professional, strong career woman.
But I love to be dressed up and made up and feeling very lovely and fancy. (but I look and feel weird in makeup)

I love the power of myself, knowing I can manage and rock my own life, from career, leadership, finances and owning my own home -- and am strong enough to let the right butch in to be a partner in my life, helping, contributing and creating a shared life.
I am learning the power of handing over some of that power and control and letting myself depend on another, even though I don't NEED him - but I WANT him.
I am also learning the depth of my traditional girl as I plan a wedding and discover how deeply rooted my love of all of those little girl Barbie dreams are, even though I never recognized them before. I used to scoff at them - now I recognize the joy and power of them and embrace them.

I am powerful and I own myself in my own femme-ness. I make myself more powerful by allowing my butch to have a role in my life and sharing some of the power with him as my partner.

And I am very silly. And smart. And funny. And good at math. And a hater extraordinaire.

[ButterflyKisses]

I am the femme who will create a five star meal yet light the dish towel on fire because I wasn't paying attention.

I am a lover not a fighter, but mess with someone I care about and I will take you OUT. Game Over. End of Story. No Sequel.

I am an insomniac.

I will take apart the toaster and anything else that catches my interest to see how it works.

I am an adreniline junky.

I am the Energizer Bunny.

I am lazy.

I am beautiful and fierce whether rocking a mini dress and stilettos or torn t-shirt and sweats.

If you carry my bags, it's because I let you.

I am the angel you see on the street in a pink sundress and the devil tied the bed at night.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter how hard I try to pry it loose and return it to the safety of my chest, it will not budge.

I am a safe harbor.

I am a hurricane.

I've been to hell, yet still managed to keep my rose-colored glasses.

I am stronger than I look. Though not as strong as I act.

Trouble happens when I get bored.

I am smart and self-educated.

I am a walking bundle of contradictions.

[BarbaraRyan]

I joined after the last post, so I hope it's okay that I add my self-description.

As far as labeling my sexuality, I use the terms Femme and Lipstick Lesbian. I like them both because they are complex and express two aspects of me - my femininity and my love of women.

I am very feminine in appearance - I wear make-up and love red lips. I currently have short hair, but wear it in a gamine style. (An ode to Audrey). I prefer wearing skirts and tops, but like dresses that flatter my hourglass figure. I wouldn't say I am modest, but I don't wear revealing clothes. But I wear loose t-shirts pants and boxers when cleaning or gardening.

I like Victorian Lesbian fiction and vintage erotic photos, along with reading Anne Rice and Jane Austen. I drink tea and collect tea pots/tea for one sets. I love vintage hats, clothing, and jewelry. I like lots of pillows on the bed and fluffy comforters where I snuggle with my cats while listening to Sarah Brightman, Sarah McLachlan, Dido, and Nora Jones. I watch British comedies, Bones, the L Word, and Arrested Development. I enjoy musical and try to see them when I can. My favorite is The Phantom of the Opera.

I am really spiritual. I pray to the Goddess and meditate - a lot. I study Her many different guises - such as Mother Mary, Medusa, Athena, and Tara. I don't worship a male deity. I'm a witchy woman with Native Guides and have an affinity to Shamanism and Native Culture. I'm a Reiki healer, tarot reader, and truth teller. I read the stories of the Goddess and watch Pushing Daisies, Moonlight, Buffy, Charmed, Bewitched, and Xena.

I collect crystals and study their uses and properties. I love plants and flowers and have several gardens. I hope to be a Certified Master Gardener one day. I like cooking vegetarian and vegan and have a number of cookbooks. I study herbalism and make herbal medicines. My favorite herbs and flowers are in the mint family and include roses, mints, and lavender. I am a ginger addict! I have several chronic illnesses and blog about living with them.

I love learning and constantly read. I have degrees in PR and Writing Arts. I have worked as a Freelance Writer and in Acquisitions for a Bookseller. I'm interested in Law and plan to go back to school to get my Paralegal Certificate. I enjoy classical studies and want to see the new Cleopatra exhibit at the Franklin Institute.

I also have a tomboy side. I enjoy watching Professional Wrestling and still attend live events. I've been to Wrestlemania. I love old NWA, Attitude Era WWE, and ECW. The ECW Arena in South Philly is one of my favorite places. I like Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels, Chyna, John Morrison, Awesome Kong, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Benoit, and RVD. I collect wrestling DVD's and have a nice little collection. I also love horror. I'm a huge Clive Barker fan and love his Books of Blood. I enjoy Friday the 13th the Series, Dexter, Saw, Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, Dead Silence, and the Evil Dead. I even have a blog dedicated to examining the horror genre.

Sorry if that's a bit long. Something I like about this thread - is that everyone her has defined herself and has taken the time to look within honestly. It's important, along with not letting others define who or what we are. When we do it, we give away a bit of our power.

[Lady_Wu]

I am femme. Strong in my weakest places. Strong enough take care of myself. Strong enough to relinquish control.
I am femme to your Butch. An old-fashioned, dress-wearing, 50s femme. I am proud to be seen on your arm in a world that does not know who or what we are. I am the one who hears you cry when your family/your job/your world rejects you for being who you are. I am the one who knows your fierce determination not to let them break you. I one who walks with you past the stares of the people who would like to knock you down. I am the one who walks into the lesbian bar, you in your Butch attire made more obvious by my feminine dress. I am your partner in the Dance.
I am femme who would kill for my femme friends. We have been there for each other in the gentle rain of the good times and the thunderstorms of the bad. We have cried on each others' shoulders, laughed at each others' stories, talked for hours on the phone. We have seen each other through the mind-bending of initial love and the heartbreak of its ending. We are the ones we turn to in our joy and our hurt. Who else but a femme really knows me!
I am femme. I amable to live happily alone yet run happily into your arms when you get home. I can open my own doors, carry my own groceries, and unclog my own sink. I can also let you do those things for me! I can ward off the creep next door who leers at me each time we pass. I can let you run him off for me. I can run my own life with ease. I can give over that control to you.
I am femme. I have looks to kill with an attitude to match. I have my own sense of style, with dresses past my calf, librarian glasses, and funky little flat shoes. I can walk past you in a bookstore (my natural habitat) and make you look once, twice, then you're following me around the store. I can be found in the GLBT section looking for that odd Butch/femme title or in the Philosophy section with my nose in the book of an obscure Chinese Author. I can accidentally drop my books at your feet and have you pick then up and shyly ask me to join you for coffee. I know that you know that was no accident.
I am femme. I can shop for hours with a femme friend for just the right purse. I can lecture a class on Early Greek Skepticism. I can simplify my life til I own very little. I can cook a vegetarian jambalaya and buttermilk pie dinner that has those cooked for coming back for thirds. I can make the perfect cup of coffee.
I am all of these things and infinitely more. I am a lady, after all. And a lady is so much more than than mere words can convey. And has so many more talents than words can tell. I am femme.
Lady_Wu

[imperfect_cupcake]

at this moment I am short-nailed (can't be arsed with the gloves and cotton wool any more), ripped men's ribbed undershirt, black jogging pants.

I wear make up spectacularly and artistically (usually deep end glam) when I feel like wearing it. 5 days a week I have a scrubbed and lotioned face and spikey, short, bleached hair with very long lashes.

I love cosmetics but in a pallet/paint way - it's joyful art.

I wither with no real backwoods camping. England makes me very spirit sad this way.
I love all animals and the spiders in my flat are honoured pets.

I love cooking, especially with my partner.

I love to create. boxes, collages, painting, make up, cooking... building things makes me feel purposeful and skilled and I want to get back into furniture making. I also love beading and stitch-work.

I am loud laughing, swearing, confrontational, vunerable, independant, co-operatively dependant with my partner and very happy about it.

I am quiet, inverted and overly stressed

I like dinner parties and when I can pull it off, the rare dance all night and go out for breckfast before going home.

I love living in big cities but need a regular escape route to the trees and the lakes and skinny dipping.

cats are my happiness and can't wait till we can finally get two. It's been very empty with them.

I am exploratory and science orientated. I am continually learning. I love certain frames of specific religions though and like picking and choosing of things I want to bring into my own special kind of... lack of word for what I am.

I am devoutly feminist. I owe them everything I can do/am. I will continue their work.

[Lady_Wu]

I am still the femme I described. Let me be more specific now.
I am short-haired, like a bikkhuni and studying to be a Roshi and Taoist priest. My nails are long and I wear dresses but little make-up. A little lipstick and nail-polish for special occasions. Perfume everyday, though. I have 3 scents I wear: Romance, Green Tea, and Inner Realm.
I live more like a Taoist monk than anything else. I take care of the sick, clean house and prepare meals like a good Chinese taitai. I study when I have time. But the above leaves me little time.
I am not as healthy as I used to be. MS and other illnesses have taken their toll. My spirit is still strong. I will have pain. Pain will NOT have me.
I would love to be pampered and have someone take care of me. That is not my lot in life right now, though I have hopes that one day that could change. Right now I just want a peaceful home. I would also like a few friends. I have accepted that that is just not possible here. Meeting people is impossible in a town that has no gay community: no bar, though that is not my scene; no bookstores, and no cafes or coffee houses.
I love these mountains but the people in WV are unlike any I've ever known. Unless you are from here, you basically do not have any way to be known. No-one speaks to each other in the grocery, unless it is to talk to others related to them. Sigh. I'm used to exchanging recipes with strangers in the vegetable section. And having no-one be a stranger. Then again, I come from the deep South. The cold is killing me as well. Again, it is gorgeous but hard to maneuver in.
So I live the life of a Taoist monk, trying to do good and study. I have my dreams still but have found that happiness comes in small doses. Contentment is the best I hope for.
Lady_Wu, Taoist monk femme

[BarbaraRyan]

Thank you Lady_Wu for sharing. I admire your strength and determination. I am curious though - What is a taitai? I've never heard that term before.

Hugs!

Originally Posted by Lady_Wu

I am still the femme I described. Let me be more specific now.
I am short-haired, like a bikkhuni and studying to be a Roshi and Taoist priest. My nails are long and I wear dresses but little make-up. A little lipstick and nail-polish for special occasions. Perfume everyday, though. I have 3 scents I wear: Romance, Green Tea, and Inner Realm.
I live more like a Taoist monk than anything else. I take care of the sick, clean house and prepare meals like a good Chinese taitai. I study when I have time. But the above leaves me little time.
I am not as healthy as I used to be. MS and other illnesses have taken their toll. My spirit is still strong. I will have pain. Pain will NOT have me.
I would love to be pampered and have someone take care of me. That is not my lot in life right now, though I have hopes that one day that could change. Right now I just want a peaceful home. I would also like a few friends. I have accepted that that is just not possible here. Meeting people is impossible in a town that has no gay community: no bar, though that is not my scene; no bookstores, and no cafes or coffee houses.
I love these mountains but the people in WV are unlike any I've ever known. Unless you are from here, you basically do not have any way to be known. No-one speaks to each other in the grocery, unless it is to talk to others related to them. Sigh. I'm used to exchanging recipes with strangers in the vegetable section. And having no-one be a stranger. Then again, I come from the deep South. The cold is killing me as well. Again, it is gorgeous but hard to maneuver in.
So I live the life of a Taoist monk, trying to do good and study. I have my dreams still but have found that happiness comes in small doses. Contentment is the best I hope for.
Lady_Wu, Taoist monk femme

[Sweepea]

I am soft like a cactus--- I am femme. I am Mother, sister daughter but not lover---to someone.
Once I love you ... I love you forever.I dont love quickly. I am a strong and powerful woman when I need to be.
I am not a good housewife-- I hate to cook and clean the house. I am passionate and loving and will bring you caugh drops at midnight.
I am a BBW and I love myself.
I have long nails and short hair yet do not wear makeup.
I love being a woman who loves woman---and hyms and hys...
I have a "thing" for shoes... high heels... I love them. Can't wear them...I like to people watch and the beach is a perfect place to watch.
I am a Cancer---ruled by the moon. I am bitchy and demanding and loving and giving in 0-5 seconds. I forget. But when I do rememeber--- beware!!!

I am content with myself.

[Laerkin]

I'm so inspired by so many of you. It's like reading bits and pieces of myself in each post.

Hmmmm. How to put this into words...

I am in love with my femininity and my girlie parts. I love my curves and I like to show them off. But I do it for me and no one else.

I am smart. Education is important to me. I use my brains to navigate a largely male-dominated profession and I excel at it.

I'm not hell-bent on titles or labels. I am Femme, but I am so much more and so much less. It is one tiny facet of my multi-dimensional person. The moment I begin to take myself too seriously, I question why and move in another direction.

The Femme I am is bossy, independent, strong, opinionated, passionate, caring, loving, affectionate and sometimes I need more than I am willing to let on because I don't like appearing weak.

Being a woman is a gift the likes of which I cannot describe (and yes, I think women are better than men because of the magic they can create and nurture within their bodies...LOL).

I am not a mother and I'm not sure I want to be.

Strength is vital to me, but I weep at the thought of an animal suffering for any reason and I cry at the drop of a hat at the movies (but don't point it out or I'll get embarrassed).

I love being touched, I think laughter is not only the best medicine but the sexiest trait about a person, and I try to live as close to compassion as possible...but I fail often.

My confidence rarely wavers and when it does I won't admit it because I'm stubborn. It's rare that my feelings get hurt because I don't take much personally, but when they are hurt it cuts deep.

I forgive easily, I trust readily, I love frequently, and I try to appreciate the people around me every single day.

I am loyal to a fault, I protect everyone around me.

I put everyone before myself which makes the people in my life feel nurtured and cared for, but often leaves me exhausted and without any energy to care for myself.

I am a work in progress and I love the lessons I learn every day, even the ones that hurt a lot.

My sexuality and identity are fluid. I change and grow every single day and I try not to ever get stagnant or content.

I smile. A LOT. A LOT. LOL.

I squeal when something startles me, I'm super ticklish, I love cute shoes and low-cut tops but I don't mind getting dirty and getting my hands into something messy. I want to learn as much as I possibly can about the world and other cultures.

Though I would never admit it out loud (EVER), I sometimes need protection from the world and I'm too proud to ever ask for it.

I am me and I love being complicated and messy and fun and crazy-passionate.

I love being pretty and sassy even though it's totally impractical.

I've been wounded deeply more than once in ways that are unforgivable, but I am never a victim. I don't believe in feeling sorry for myself or in using something from past as an excuse for my behavior now.

Strong women and kind men inspire me. Spirituality is super important to me but I am not religious in any way.

I am Laerkin.

[waxnrope]

Damn. This is a beautiful thread. Thank you all for just being. For expressing both grace and power.

[LieslKate]

Prime Lesbian Femme Feminist Submissive Amazon Dyke Riot Grrl... kind of says it all !

[girl_dee]

I'm many different femmes!

Sometimes I am feisty and have quiet an edge

Sometimes I am a tomboy gutting a fish in cutoffs and tank tops

Sometimes I am a girl, in a pretty frock, waiting for Daddy to get home

Sometimes I am submissive, and restrained to Sir's bed

Sometimes I am a hard worker and get the job done

Sometimes I am a writer, a photographer, an artist and a deep thinker.

Mostly I am just me.

[JinxdGirl]

I am the femme that was told I wasn't.
I am tomboy and girlieboi.
I rarely wear make up or perfume.
I shower before chatting with my crush, to make sure I am feeling pretty.
I have an amazingly sexy voice.
I don't believe I'm beautiful, but I'd like to.
I'm not a "what you see is what you get" girl.
I'm a grown ass woman.
I'm a little girl.
I am tougher than most.
I am strong physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I am a survivor of life.
I am a middle school drop out with a Good Enough Diploma.
I struggle, daily, to love myself.
I am loved, cherished, respected, praised.
I am the devil's advocate.
I am a provider.
I am a co-parent.
I am protective, intimidating, fierce.
I am painfully shy in person.
I am flirtatious without trying to be.
I have been broken, dropped, forgotten.
I am putting myself back together, remembering my truth.
I am my own worst enemy.
I am partially deaf.
I am a home chef, a nurturer, a baker, a babysitter, a friend.
I am disowned.
I am fighting the good fight.
I am healing, changing, evolving.
I am and always will be fat.
I enjoy being a fat chick, even though I am working to be a less fat chick.
I am healthy.
I am bipolar.
I am every woman you've never known.
I am becoming my own friend.
I am FEMME by my own damned standards!

[Lynn]

I am a lesbian femme, in awe of the strength, beauty, and depth of all women. I am a feminist femme, claiming the power of who I am, and supporting the rights of women and men. I am an older femme, finally coming into my own. I am a bedroom femme, loving the dynamics of the butch-femme mystery.

[FeminineAllure]

By describing the woman that I am emerges the femme that I am.
Breaking it down-
I am full of dichotomies.
I am so comfortable being a woman. I am soft with some rough edges. Feminine yet love to wear sweatpants, slippers and *her* shirt over my choices of many dresses, skirts and heels that fill my closets. I will wear just her shirt while wearing lipstick of crimson red and my best perfume. My nails will be done and my feet will be soft with my toes polished. Then again I may wear a beautiful flowing skirt with no make up on in my bare feet to an afternoon picnic. What I wear does not define who I am. I define who I am.
I have an open mind and I am trisexual. I will try almost anything at least once. I like pain at times. I like letting my inner little girl out at times. I like being submissive. Don't judge me and I will not judge you.
I raised myself well. I came from a dysfunctional family yet I turned out pretty functional. I am compassionate, kind, thoughtful, creative, empathetic. I value not someones degree, but what they have learned from life itself. How many hours someone has spent in a classroom has never impressed me but I admire their ambition. I must have consistancy in my life.
I will show you my friends and you will see me. I have many aquaintences but very few close friends. They are my friends for life.
I love animals but especially cats. They are the children I could never have. Not having children has never defined me as a woman. My cats have taught me responsibility, gentleness, patience...Patience is one of my weaknesses. I don't like to wait for things. I am spontaneous!
I mean what I say and put great value on other peoples words as well.
I am spiritual but not religious.
I am a larger woman. But I love pretty clothes. I asked at a VS store employee why their PINK collection does not go past a size L? I told them to e mail me when it did. It was Christmas time in a long line and you could just feel the smiles from the customers and the sales womans face was priceless. I do speak up for myself and others quite often.
I am learning to love the body I am in. I take many medications that put weight on. So I will never be a petite woman again. Acceptance of myself as living, loving, being who I am without any appologies...That is one of my biggest lessons I am learning as a woman. I am the best femme that I can be. And I only look forward to getting better as I age.
I almost forgot to add...Butches make me weak in the knees and they compliment the femme that I am so well.

[CherylNYC]

OK. I'll take my turn.

I'm a kick-ass, self sufficient and resourceful, strong in every way, fierce and fiercely loyal, hippie lesbian feminist, pagan biker-dyke femme.

I'm a sexually submissive, masochist leatherdyke, stonefemme bottom femme.

I'm a work clothes that stand up by themselves because they are covered in dimensional gak that would disgust a homeless person femme.

I'm a play clothes that monopolize ALL your attention, and heels so high that only drag queens and I can wear them femme. I can run in them, too.

I'm a please buy me power tools for my birthday femme. My sculpture studio is packed to the rafters with tools and projects, so perhaps I don't really need more power tools, but I'll think you're super cool if you bring me a useful tool that I don't yet own.

I'm a too shy to make the first move femme. I want to be courted. Some day my prince will come, but I will not be happy if said prince assumes that she will be paying for dinner.

I'm a femme with a backyard full of motorcycles which I ride and repair. I wear make-up sometimes, but no nail polish unless my nails are irretrievably filthy. Deep red hides best, but metallic blue matches my best bike.

I'm a DO NOT cross me femme, and a DO NOT EVEN THINK about hurting my friends if you want to live femme.

I'm an urban and urbane NYC femme. I listen to obscure and difficult music, go out to exquisite NYC performances and have erudite conversations with overeducated friends.

I garden naked and swear at the raccoons that dug up my blueberry bush and continue to threaten my cats that I will turn them into hats just as soon as I get my hands on them. Deer and Canada geese look like dinner to me. Hell, if I'm hungry enough even a well fed squirrel looks like dinner to this urban barbarian femme.

I'm a feline femme who purrs, plays and cuddles like a kitten, and fights the good fight like a pride of lions, after which I want nothing more than to fall to my knees in front of a big, strong, butch top.

There are many facets to my femme-ness, indeed. Even I can't command enough words to adequately describe them all.

[Isadora]

I am a complex being. I am healing and healer. I am Momma and lover. I am fierce and bossy. I am tender and malleable. I have sheer skin, easily hurt and deep wounds that will never heal. I miss people deeply. I do not miss people at all. I am in love and in loved back. I am not simply who I love but I am also deeply who I love. I am strong with an amazing heart. I am strong enough to give it away again. I am dichotomy and harmony. I am contradiction and congruence. I am fully human and simply femme.