03-02-2012, 06:54 PM | #221 |
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Kid: Mama...I'm freezing!!
Me: Cover yourself up with the blanket. Kid: It's too hot!! Excuse me while I recover my eyes that just rolled around to the back of my head LOL |
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03-09-2012, 06:31 PM | #222 |
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m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009
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"Oh wow, I can smell your pickle!"
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Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi |
03-20-2012, 09:44 AM | #223 |
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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Bully: Ohhhhhhh how bout makin some of those good ole biscuits and gravy you make.
Belle: I don't have any biscuits Bully: Well, make them, like you did last time. Belle: Honey, those were from a can. Did you really think that i made those huge fluffy biscuits by scratch? Bully: Ummm yes i did. I do believe you were being duplicitous. Belle:
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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03-20-2012, 09:59 AM | #224 |
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Married to The Woman of My Dreams <3 Join Date: Nov 2009
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A conversation between me, Sarah, our 15yo daughter, who knows I am trans, and her friend Alex, who does NOT know I am trans... in the kitchen with me while I was cooking dinner last year...
Sarah: Hey, Chuck Norris is transgender... Me: Sarah - Chuck Norris is so NOT transgender! Sarah: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure he is, I saw it on TV (random arguing between Sarah and I about this...) Me: Sarah, I don't know what you *think* you saw or heard, but Chuck Norris is most certainly not transgender. Alex: Yeah, he's right Sarah.... and besides, you can tell when someone is transgender. Sarah and I were both like |
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03-22-2012, 09:36 PM | #225 |
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queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, little one Relationship Status:
dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012
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me: i just reserve the right to disagree with you about how hot you are.
my partner: you definitely feel like you have the right to express your opinion. (he then referenced a mutual friend of ours - they both have a habit of making jokingly misogynist comments like "look at the little woman thinking she has the right to express her opinion.") me: femmes do have the inalienable right to express our opinions or else you have the inalienable right to an ass-kicking. just saying. |
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04-03-2012, 10:46 PM | #226 |
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Heard on Skype
... "I'm looking for evil chicken and cockatrice eggs" I can't even think of a response for this statement |
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06-07-2012, 09:22 PM | #227 |
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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email received: I was told about it by a femme in here...
email response: You mean they bottle up femme's and place them in here like a Ginni in a bottle? Can I rub one and get three wishes |
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06-09-2012, 05:59 PM | #228 |
Infamous Member
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"I can't text you and hold my weiner..."
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06-09-2012, 10:45 PM | #229 |
Practically Lives Here
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Baby Luv to Luv: "No! Wait! You are a bad boi!"
It's not so much as what she said as the look on Luv's face when she said it. I think we both pulled a |
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06-09-2012, 11:07 PM | #230 |
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we were all in da midst o' cyber sex when her daughter-in-law crashed in and ruined our fun, i'm still poutin'...
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be true, be you, be brave.
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06-26-2012, 08:01 AM | #231 |
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Last night laying in bed...
Belle: Wow it's so freaking quiet, isn't it? Bully: Yeah it is. After about a minute or two Belle: I don't hear birds or dogs or the AC, it's just weird it's so quiet Bully: I like the quiet. After another couple of minutes Belle: I don't think it's ever been this quite before. Don't you think it's really, really quiet? Bully: No, not really.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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06-26-2012, 08:15 AM | #232 |
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female ones, will also respond to babe, boi and Romeo Relationship Status:
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Butch Mom Moments
Me: Dude. Seriously??? There is blue toothpaste on the bathroom ceiling--how does that even happen??
8yo Mancub: Mommy, I was brushing my teeth..... Me: HOW ??? 8yo Mancub: I was brushing them REALLY well.... I just looked at him and started to laugh, "That was perfect grammar, com'ere get a hug!" |
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07-01-2012, 10:45 AM | #233 |
Practically Lives Here
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Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME: Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes... ME:
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To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault |
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07-01-2012, 10:54 AM | #234 |
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07-03-2012, 07:34 AM | #235 |
Timed Out
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..
Gymnastics was on TV one day when my oldest was really little. I wasn't really paying attention to it, but noticed her looking bored. I said "What do you want to be when you grow up Kenzie?"
She said "I wanna do flip-flops on that board and hurt myself." (pointing at the TV... it was balance beam) lmao |
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07-07-2012, 07:32 PM | #236 |
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da boss
During a phone conversation this week...
Kobi... The cat is whining about food again... Me... She is acting out again, you need to tell her your da boss... Me... Repeat after me... You da boss... *quiet* Kobi... Can I start with you first? I'm da boss... *snicker* Me... yeah well... ummm... no... nice try though... *fits of laughter*
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Kim "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success."
- Unknown - |
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07-07-2012, 09:17 PM | #237 |
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I had to post this conversation between my neighbor and I. It was a long time ago, but we still laugh about it today.
Neighbor: Lisa, you have to smell this new stuff I got. Me: What is it? Neighbor: Febreze. Me: *takes bottle turns the knob, squeezes handle, turns knob, squeezes handle*. Ree, how do you get it to spray. Neighbor: Turn the knob at the end. Me: I did. Neighbor: What does it say on the knob? Me: It says "Off, No, Off, No" Neighbor: Bust out laughing hysterically - Lisa, it "Off, ON, OFF, ON" not no. Me: Busted out laughing from blonde moment. I was reading it upside down. |
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07-08-2012, 01:34 PM | #238 |
Be the Fearless Bunny
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"That is the ugliest sneeze ever. The sound of it, the look of it, the repetitive nature of it. Every bit of it is ugly."
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I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. ~Flannery O'Connor |
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07-08-2012, 03:39 PM | #239 |
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shit heard while driving.... :)
Teddy (to man in the middle of the street) are you gonna cross or what?!?
HORN BEEPS....waving of hand out the window.....swearing ensues Me: Honey, that's a cop directing traffic. Teddy: no its not....oh yes it is..... |
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07-08-2012, 03:44 PM | #240 | |
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Quote:
ok it isnt something I see often i thought it was some1 trying to cross the street, I DIDNT wave my hand out the window across it yes out it NO NOW i know y he was looking at me funny when i blew the horn at him |
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