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Old 07-22-2011, 04:14 PM   #201
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What is Fracking exactly and have i ever??
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Old 07-22-2011, 10:34 PM   #202
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What time is it?
.
.
.
What time is it now?
.
.
.
Now what time is it?
.
.
.
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Old 07-22-2011, 11:03 PM   #203
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swan View Post
I wonder what cats dream about....
mice...?

.
.
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Old 08-01-2011, 09:32 PM   #204
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If the early bird catches the worm, why do good things come to those who wait?
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Old 08-02-2011, 06:10 AM   #205
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Last night:

How come I have to carry separate cards from the grocery stores and the pharmacies and the pet store and even the hair salon? Why, by now, is there not one card (or friggin' ankle bracelet or whatever) that can be programmed for all? I mean, seriously. I can go to Google and get a panoramic shot of your house with your car in the driveway, but they can't beef up magnetic strips??
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Old 08-05-2011, 01:59 PM   #206
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English is easy??
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
its no wonder i cant spell.. i think these must be spelled diffrently
so i change shit around!!
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Old 08-05-2011, 03:19 PM   #207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixielady View Post
If the early bird catches the worm, why do good things come to those who wait?
Because who, besides the bird, wants a worm?
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Old 08-05-2011, 03:35 PM   #208
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Originally Posted by tapu View Post
Because who, besides the bird, wants a worm?

I'll take that worm.....in one month, that worm will be six worms.....and in two months, they'll be eating your veggie
scraps and helping to save the earth....


Oh, and good things come to those who WEIGHT!...just sayin

she says as she kisses her bicept
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Old 08-05-2011, 05:20 PM   #209
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow band View Post
I'll take that worm.....in one month, that worm will be six worms.....and in two months, they'll be eating your veggie
scraps and helping to save the earth....


Oh, and good things come to those who WEIGHT!...just sayin

she says as she kisses her bicept

How to tell you this... Your one worm will not be able to make six worms all by its lonesome. (No, not even if you chopped it up; I think that's a myth.) I am sorry. There, there.
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Old 08-05-2011, 06:02 PM   #210
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Default Oh come on Einstein, talk to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by tapu View Post
How to tell you this... Your one worm will not be able to make six worms all by its lonesome. (No, not even if you chopped it up; I think that's a myth.) I am sorry. There, there.
No chopping of the precious worm please.

Worms contain both male and female sexual organs.....they reproduce by sexual reproduction. They are not asexual.

They get underneath their own skin, so to speak.....release the sperm, and the egg. One little worm can generate 6 baby worms each month, all by it's self.couldn't resist using the cheesy can!
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:05 PM   #211
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You made that up!! << tapu's hair stands on end. more. >>
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:11 PM   #212
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Whoa. I just googled how earthworms reproduce.

We are both right!! It takes two worms, but both of them have both types of sex organs. (No word on what pronouns they prefer.)

Really, enough said. I don't recommend learning about this.
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Old 08-30-2011, 07:52 PM   #213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tapu View Post
Whoa. I just googled how earthworms reproduce.

We are both right!! It takes two worms, but both of them have both types of sex organs. (No word on what pronouns they prefer.)

Really, enough said. I don't recommend learning about this.
LOL! This whole post-line is funny.

But, in all seriousness, earthworms are so beneficial to the Earth. Ask any gardener. Vermiculture is cool!
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Old 08-30-2011, 08:16 PM   #214
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Smile here were my thoughts the past couple of nights

the sight of you beside me

has i glance your way

has me floating on air

and brightens my day

the scent of your flesh

has you move closer to me

makes my heart stutter

and sets my desire free

the touch of your hand

has it caresses my skin

makes my spirit burn brighter

and brings me alive from within

the taste of your lips

has they touch mine

is the best aphrodisiac

throughout all of time

the sound of your voice

has you whisper please

crumbles my defenses

and brings me to my knees

my sould reaches outward

and meets yours halfway

heart mind and soul together

forever and a day

.
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Old 08-30-2011, 08:38 PM   #215
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What is the speed of dark?

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

What kind of seeds do seedless watermelons come from?

If Hooters were to become a door-to-door delivery service would they have to change their name to Knockers?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? If it's new, what was it improving on?




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Old 09-01-2011, 04:43 AM   #216
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Sick Senior Citizen


So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen.

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need! Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered. And, as an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.

Is this a great country or what?









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Old 09-01-2011, 05:48 AM   #217
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cody View Post
Sick Senior Citizen


So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen.

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need! Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered. And, as an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.

Is this a great country or what?









From what I hear - what they actually do is end up sick enough to go to the ICU ward of a hospital - where the hospital can't send them anywhere else (due to whatever issue... no insurance, no availability etc) and thus they have to keep them there - taking up a bed in ICU - because of course they can't just kick them out. Thus said individual stays in the ICU for an undetermined time costing the taxpayers probably triple or more for their care than they would have if medicare had just paid for a nursing home in the first place.. (not that I know a bunch of ICU nurses and have to hear about this exact problem all the time lol [in atlanta.. your location may vary])
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Old 09-04-2011, 08:46 PM   #218
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Okay it's not the middle of the night yet, but I'm still wondering: How come roughly half of all femmes are named Jenn/Jen/Jenny/Jennifer? What does this mean?
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Old 09-04-2011, 08:52 PM   #219
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Okay it's not the middle of the night yet, but I'm still wondering: How come roughly half of all femmes named Jenn/Jen/Jenny/Jennifer? What does this mean?
There are a lot of us Jennifers. I told my ex (who has MY name on her tattoo) to just wait around she will eventually date another one
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Old 09-04-2011, 09:28 PM   #220
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Default Hmmmmmmm

Why do we have to put a floppy disk in a hard drive?
How come we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
Why can't kernels of corn be digested?
Why is it that the male of seahorses species carry the babies?
Why is an "ICU" usually darkened...and they can't actually "see" you...lol .
Why do we say "time flies" when it actually drags...lol
And lastly...
Why can't I.......????? Huh? Why?
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