Stone Butches

[Converse]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

ok i been searching for a stone butch thread.......
and trying to explain to someone i recently met ..... about Stone Butch energy... and its hard for me to explain it.. lol
i just know I adore them .. lol ...
could use some views from others ....... ty

Its interesting that you should write that there is an energy that is particular to Stones- of course I have heard of those who prefer to partner with Stones but I had always considered that a preference for a certain type of dynamic but had never contemplated that there was a “Stone energy”. Elsewhere in an attempt to clarify what is meant by a “feminizing touch” in the context of a Stone I wrote… self fulfillment comes from being externally focused, by that I do not refer to my external self- but to my sexual partner. Being inside her both physically and mentally is where I find my “on” switch.

The musician reaches that other place when hy brings the instrument alive- together each is able to experience their potential- realize what they were made for. I was not made to have another take me in hand; I was made to be with someone who does not simply allow, but wants, needs to surrender. And in that surrender she allows me to be who I truly am.

While some will equate Stone to simply having personal limits, for me it is far more encompassing- Stone isn’t about sex with restrictions, it is about everything- it is how we perceive the world, but more importantly it is about how we relate, understand, communicate, and connect to another.

A Stone Butch is a Stone Butch- regardless if they are partnered- but without the one who “gets it”, they are not a musician, simply a person who knows how to play a musical instrument.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Converse

Its interesting that you should write that there is an energy that is particular to Stones- of course I have heard of those who prefer to partner with Stones but I had always considered that a preference for a certain type of dynamic but had never contemplated that there was a “Stone energy”. Elsewhere in an attempt to clarify what is meant by a “feminizing touch” in the context of a Stone I wrote… self fulfillment comes from being externally focused, by that I do not refer to my external self- but to my sexual partner. Being inside her both physically and mentally is where I find my “on” switch.

The musician reaches that other place when hy brings the instrument alive- together each is able to experience their potential- realize what they were made for. I was not made to have another take me in hand; I was made to be with someone who does not simply allow, but wants, needs to surrender. And in that surrender she allows me to be who I truly am.

While some will equate Stone to simply having personal limits, for me it is far more encompassing- Stone isn’t about sex with restrictions, it is about everything- it is how we perceive the world, but more importantly it is about how we relate, understand, communicate, and connect to another.

A Stone Butch is a Stone Butch- regardless if they are partnered- but without the one who “gets it”, they are not a musician, simply a person who knows how to play a musical instrument.

EXCELLENT POST!!!!!!! SO RIGHT ON!!!!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by cody

yes this make alot of sense.. and i am stone.. i have always thought of t/g to be a person who is taking T and planing on having the t/g surg. as for me i stoped the T it made me meaner then a snake and as far as the surg.. i would consider top surg and think if i did the top surg i might not be "as" stone. even with out the T i still shave my face daily but i only have uneven patches.. i truly believe i was born male with some of the wrong parts.. so much so that friends have told me i dont need T. so i guess the question would be : to be considered t/g do you need to be in the process of making changes to your body.. other then working out for build an strenght?

Cody, you could call yourself a pearly duskaforian if you want to and feel it inside. While there might be some folks who will disagree with you, it's not up to them. It's your body. Your life. If TG feels good to you now, then great. If it doesn't fit quite right, like a pair of too tight jeans, then let it go. Your identity is all about you and is for YOU only.

Much luck on your journey.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

about Stone Femmes.........
someone told me once...... that a stone femme could be defined like what a stone butch is ...
but also ...... a girl who only dates stone butchs.....

Yeah, sort of. Of course I get your drift, but I'm always a little uncomfortable when anyone defines me by who I date. I'm a stonefemme because of my own personal boundaries. I'm not defined by those I date. I've known femmes who are far from stone, but find themselves dating stone butches. I'm a stonefemme who has dated butches who are not stone, (insert sad face here).

[asphaltcowboi]

good morning too all the roling stones!!! or the kinda kinda not.. who knows

[girl_dee]

Hello Stoners...

I guess I am going against the grain here and saying I don't understand limiting your dating pool by what someone has wanted or wanted in sex. I could never not want to be with someone because of what they want or don't want sexually, I suppose if that would be a dealbreaker for me ( I can't even imagine) it would be different.

I guess I just don't see what is wrong with two people getting together and discovering what energy/magic/vibes they get off each other and rolling with it. The way I have been with one lover does not define how I will be with another lover..

It all just seems so predefined. I'm trying to understand I suppose.

[sharonsuburbia]

Originally Posted by cody

good morning too all the roling stones!!! or the kinda kinda not.. who knows

their is just something so fantatically melting about stones - i am pure putty in hys hands - the older i get the more hardwired i am for stoners - (i love the bike)

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by sharonsuburbia

their is just something so fantatically melting about stones - i am pure putty in hys hands - the older i get the more hardwired i am for stoners - (i love the bike)

nice heels!

[sharonsuburbia]

thanks

i am trying to put up pics but i get message file os tp big - are you going to be around?

[sharonsuburbia]

Originally Posted by cody

nice heels!

hat was for you ew are you going o be arounf

[sharonsuburbia]

i will go to chat

[diamondrose]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Yeah, sort of. Of course I get your drift, but I'm always a little uncomfortable when anyone defines me by who I date. I'm a stonefemme because of my own personal boundaries. I'm not defined by those I date. I've known femmes who are far from stone, but find themselves dating stone butches. I'm a stonefemme who has dated butches who are not stone, (insert sad face here).

Well said. I agree and relate to this. I am who I am, a stone femme, because of my personal preferences and limitations.

[rlin]

i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone...
there is nothing farther from the truth in my head...

i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even...

i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...

[Legendryder]

We define ourselves my friend. Keep an open mind and find your own comfort zone. It will all work out exactly the way it should.

[Glenn]

Yeh..I agree. Be whatever makes you feel happy and what works for you. I like what you said about being Stone with the Tantric thing going on.

[DomnNC]

Lordy, I never knew there were so many labels applied to people til I joined here, lol. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all either. I've always known since I was in the first grade that I was in the wrong body, I am a man, pure and simple, always have been. No, I've not taken T, not thought about it for my own personal reasons, the biggest one being that I would not put my parents thru that, as I am the only, coughs, sex of this being, that they have. I have 3 brothers as well, all younger than me. My family accepts me just fine being the way I am. When my wife passed away I could not have asked for better support from my parents or my brothers and their spouses, they were all just as devastated by her passing as I was as they all loved her tremendously.
Two of my brothers know what a kinky fuck I am and are fine with it and kid me about it. They used to tease my wife when we'd come down to visit to get a reaction out of her and then tell me she deserved a spanking when we got back home, chuckles.
I just don't go for all the labels, I am not defined by a label or what anyone else chooses to attempt to box me into. I define me! I am me, plain and simple. I choose how I will relate to someone in a relationship by their energy dynamic with me.

So Rlin, don't worry about labels, they really mean nothing. It is how you see yourself that matters. It is how you interact with your partner and how ya'll see yourself as a couple that matters, all other opinions be damned.

[Random]

Originally Posted by rlin

i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone...
there is nothing farther from the truth in my head...

i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even...

i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...

I've kept from chiming in because I'm not butch...and I'm only semi stone... grin... soft stone if you would have it...

But...

A lover once told me that it was about feeling safe... and trust...

He said... The more I trust, the safer I feel, the more clothes come off...

He said... for a woman to get into his boxers, meant that that he trusted and he felt safe exposing the part of him that didn't match his inside view... (He was/is GID)

If he was feeling emotionally unsafe or the trust wasn't there, then the boxers and the a-line were NOT coming off..

If you've had a bad break up recently, an emotional trama that left you feeling unsafe to share yourself...

Something to think about....

I think there are so many reasons for someone being stone...

Energy exchange
Personal Satisfaction
Personal Programning
Protection

Human Sexuality is complicated and so very interesting..

Myself...

The more emotionally compromised I am, the more dominate I am... It's not safe to let anyone in close enough to share myself... So I turn it and make it all about them...

The more dominant I am, the less I want to be touched... I'm not even aware of my body and it's physically distasteful to be touched... It's the mindgasm, the taking my partner to where they only dream of going that blows me away... Touching me actually shuts me down and turns me off.. It's all about them, because it's safer for me that way...

The girl is me is crippled.. driven to the point of insanity...wounded almost beyond repair... Almost is the key word... Slowly... oh so slowly... (with the help of an incredibly patent and stubborn butch) I'm doing the work that will allow her to come to dinner and stay for a while...

Sorry.. Got on a tangent there...

What I'm trying to say is..

Only you know why you are the way you are..

There is not a damn thing wrong with being stone... With deriving pleasure from pleasing your partner... (and I have to say... Tantric? hell yes.. please and thank you...) if you are built that way... (personally, I think it's hot as hell to have someone orgasm from fucking me..)or if you choose to be stone...

But if you are questioning, if it's on your mind... Then maybe it might be something else...

Only you can know.....

[BullDog]

As a stone butch I don't see having sex as being pre-defined or there being any less individual variation as to how I would relate to a partner. I don't think having sex with a stone butch is going to be any more or less predictable than having sex with someone who isn't stone butch and there's plenty of room for experimentation, spontaneity and playing off each other's vibes and energy exchange. That's not to say that every person is going to want to have sex with or partner with a stone butch. It's not for everyone.

I do agree with Converse that I don't equate being a Stone Butch with having sex with restrictions. It is much more encompassing than that. For me, it is quite freeing not restricting.

However, I don't think there is one, all encompassing Stone energy or that Stones can just nod at each other and know what one another is talking about- that's something I have seen discussed a number of times in the past, and I don't think that is the case. I think Stone Butch does mean different things to different people. I certainly don't relate at all when people start talking about feminizing touch or relating stone to being male. There are different types of Stone Butch and different personal meanings for it.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by BullDog

As a stone butch I don't see having sex as being pre-defined or there being any less individual variation as to how I would relate to a partner. I don't think having sex with a stone butch is going to be any more or less predictable than having sex with someone who isn't stone butch and there's plenty of room for experimentation, spontaneity and playing off each other's vibes and energy exchange. That's not to say that every person is going to want to have sex with or partner with a stone butch. It's not for everyone.

I do agree with Converse that I don't equate being a Stone Butch with having sex with restrictions. It is much more encompassing than that. For me, it is quite freeing not restricting.

However, I don't think there is one, all encompassing Stone energy or that Stones can just nod at each other and know what one another is talking about- that's something I have seen discussed a number of times in the past, and I don't think that is the case. I think Stone Butch does mean different things to different people. I certainly don't relate at all when people start talking about feminizing touch or relating stone to being male. There are different types of Stone Butch and different personal meanings for it.

Hi !

Your post jumped out at me.. maybe because of the time, 1:11 of your post (my own thing) and maybe because I have usually liked your input on these subjects.. I've seen the stone threads take a bad turn because not everyone agrees what a stone is. I liked what you said about leaving room for experimentation! I cannot imagine a world, or sex where it is so limited, dependent on a preconceived notion that I would or would not like something.. each person IS different. There are hard limits of course I realize this.. maybe thats why its called *stone* ?

Stone butch (and stone femme) like MANY words in our vocabulary are user defined.. as it should be I feel. I get confused with the whole thing.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Hello Stoners...

I guess I am going against the grain here and saying I don't understand limiting your dating pool by what someone has wanted or wanted in sex. I could never not want to be with someone because of what they want or don't want sexually, I suppose if that would be a dealbreaker for me ( I can't even imagine) it would be different.

I guess I just don't see what is wrong with two people getting together and discovering what energy/magic/vibes they get off each other and rolling with it. The way I have been with one lover does not define how I will be with another lover..

It all just seems so predefined. I'm trying to understand I suppose.

Pre-defined.

If I may....kisses are pre-defined. You know what's going to happen, in general, if you kiss someone. Or do you?

Have you ever been kissed in a way and to the point that your heart flutters and your toes tingle? Have you felt the waves of love or lust eminating off of them though they've barely brushed your lips? Have you been kissed in a dirty back alley, hastily, with their hands twisted in your hair as you were shoved up against the brick wall? Have you spent hours lounging in bed, becoming intimately acquainted with another's lips? Have you expected one type of kiss...perhaps chaste...and been surprised by a lengthy, invasive French kiss? Or vise versa?

Every kiss is different, though it is only a kiss. It's pre-defined. Or is it?

My point is that what seems like putting limitations on intimacy to you is really ensuring that our partners (for the most part) will understand HOW we like to kiss, so to speak.

I see Stone as less of an inhibitor and more of a freeing agent, allowing me to be me and him to be himself, and both of us with the understanding of how we prefer to move within our intimate relationship...and how we like to kiss.