The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

Butchimodo, n (bootch ee moe doe) From The Samoan To Strut Like A Shark In Heat

The Butchimodo is a variety of butch rarely noticed in cyber. However they can be found. Their natural habitat is the bar and back alley where they have the room to ply their skills.

Often found wearing tight jeans and boots, the Butchimodo has a confident air about her or him that many varieties of Individuals of the femmes persuasion (and some individuals of the GenderQueerTrannyFag bois/girl persuasion) find very attractive.

Not known for their loudness or over eagerness, they are easily spotted by the sound of their heel hitting the floor. This accompanied by the neat cracking of the crease in their 501's (sometimes Dockers) immediately identifies them as prime Butchimodo candidates.

Individuals of the femmes persuasion should take note that most good Butchimodos are either married or poly so if you want one of your very own, you must employ a steadiness of heart and a patience of will. There are enough to go around. You just may have to wait for the next Butchimodo to spot you.

Commonly found near non-drama water holes.

Sometimes mistakenly called Butchiquasimodo, but that is a far different creature whose hump always gives his evil intentions away.

Adversely opposed to Femmezillas and Butchasaurus Rexes.

Fondly dedicated to the first Butchimodo the staff at MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary ever met, Lonnie.

[Arwen]

IceacreamiaTelephobia, n. (Eyes ah kreem ee ah foe bee ah), from Latin "Sweet and Creamy Tempting"

This is the fear that when you answer the phone, your friends will be breaking Femme Rule #33 by calling you from an ice cream parlor when you are not there with them. This fear can cause phone screening. A person trying to get over this fear can often be seen drooling while talking on the phone. Sometimes you will see them talking, drooling AND driving as they hurry to the nearest ice cream place to soothe their sudden craving for "Cake Batter" ice cream. Most often seen in individuals of the femme persuasion.

This definition is fondly dedicated to Clover and Byte Me.

[Arwen]

Revolv-a-Loveritis (ree vohl vah luff err eye tis) N. From The Greek (KItsbeentwoweeksnextiticus)

This medical condition seems to affect both individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasion. Can be often researched by reading threads where there are two weeks or two months of "I love you" "No I love you more" posts followed by a deathly silence then a similar posting between one of the previous set and someone new. User notes can also be used to reveal this condition.

Sometimes confused with the RubberBandBetweenUsism, but that condition exists only between two people who break up, get back together, break up, ad ifinitum.

This is a completely curable condition, but it can take a very long time as Revolv-a-Loveritis, as the APA has recently announced, is more appropriately an addiction with roots in CantBeAlonus and SingleScaresMeism. Because of this, psychiatrists recommend group talk therapy, twelve step groups such as Swivelnecks Anonymous and turning the computer off.

Do take note that this IS a serious condition and should NOT be approached by non-professionals. This condition requires years of research. Many of those who are recovering Revolv-a-Loveritis sufferers have a kneejerk reaction when in the presence of those silent sufferers or still in denial. This can, if unchecked, cause Drama Llamas and multiple fruit sightings.

One sure way to check is to see if the individual carries a U-Haul or other moving company credit card or has friends with trucks who automatically say, rather than hello, no I won't help you move.

SYNONYMS: Swivelnecks, UHaulaphiles, Nextians

[Arwen]

Maggie (Steh la) n. From the Williamson "To Stand On A Hot Metal Exterior Cover"

This is an individual of the femme persuasion. Easily identified by her outer wear (skinfitting black pedal pushers and white blouses so tight the top three buttons can NOT be buttoned), this individual of the femme persuasion has been known to have the morals of a cat in heat. She is a very restless kind of woman. The kind who has been associated with a feline on a more than warm metal building top in fact.

The Maggies of the world wrap those individuals of a butch persuasion around their little finger faster than you can say, "Big Daddy please." And when she decides she is done with an individual of the butch persuasion, her ending of that relationship can cause even the most stable individuals of the butch persuasion to drink a bit and reminisce about the good ol' days.

Non-Maggie individuals of the femme persuasion often refer to Maggies in the most scathing of tones implying many things including fast and loose women who go down easy and come up swinging. Interestingly enough, the individuals of the butch persuasion do not see much wrong with the Maggies unless they've been cut loose by one.

Sadly, many Maggies do end up with brutish clods for partners. It is one of the downfalls of being a Maggie. Lying is also a Maggie trait but it's only to protect those she loves--herself.

The staff used that the wrong play in the original definition. It has been rectified in this edition.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by Arwen

Threadstalking (Thred stal king) verb origin English from the Latin Stalkere, to watch

1) The act of going into someone's profile and hitting "see all posts by" and reading them. Sometimes compounded by publicly respondind to posts. Other times by sending PM's

Can be a hobby. Can also be a psychotic ex.

Thanks for telling me how to do this. muahahaha

[Arwen]

CFM (Cee Eff Emm) acronym from the Femmenese "To Make Him Sweat"

The acronym, CFM, stands for Come Fuck Me which alludes to the badonkadonk nature of this clothing item. Individuals of the femme persuasion who know the effect of this particular shoe are known by the sway of their hips.

CFM's are a piece of essential clothing for individuals of the femme persuasion. Some individuals of the butch persuasion have admitted to this staff member that CFM's are essential for them as well only not on their own foot.

Simply put, a CFM is a shoe with a heel. But there is more, so much more, that goes into classifying a shoe as a CFM. The heel must be over 2.5" in height. The body of the shoe needs to point and arch the foot in a "ouch that's got to hurt" manner and straps are a good thing in CFM's.

Many individuals of the butch persuasion try to evince invulnerability to the CFM, but often give themselves away by the glazed look in their eye along with the drooling.

Other names for CFM's are "Jesus shoes" as in "throw your legs up to Jesus" and "Sweet Holy Mother Of God" which is often what the individual of the butch persuasion will say when he sees an individual of the femme persuasion in 5" stiletto heels coming towards him.

[Arwen]

Thingie (thengh ee) n. From Basque "obscure"

A thingie is not, as some dear individuals of the butch persuasion seem to believe, a non-item. Thingies are very real.

Thingies are a bit confusing if you are not an individual of the femme persuasion because thingies change.

Often an individual of the femme persuasion is presented with an unfamiliar term such as socket wrench or monkey wrench or phillips head wrench. This causes a misfire in the brain of the individual of the femme persuasion called a "replaceiotis".

This misfire removes all unfamiliar terms and replaces it with the comfort zone word, thingie.

Hence, "Honey hand me that crescent wrench" is better phrased "Honey, hand me that thingy that has the moon thingie on the end." Those individuals of the butch persuasion who comprehend this replacement misfire will find themselves getting exactly what they want.

Now then, when an individual of the butch persuasion is asked, "Sweetheart, have you seen that thingy I need for my hair?" the correct response is, "Baby, your hair looks just fine."

Should the individual of the butch persuasion suspect in any way that the individual of the femme persuasion might be riding the pony soon, the only correct answer is, "Can I get you a glass of wine and some chocolate?"

Any attempts to decipher exactly what thingie the individual of the femme persuasion is seeking at that point could result in the butch losing something he is very attached to--permanently or strapped on.

Note: Stereotypes have been employed to mock. If you are not able to laugh at yourself, please go bye-bye,thanks and have a nice day.

[Arwen]

Whatchit (wah chit) n. From Butchesque "man scan"

A whatchit is not, as some dear individuals of the femme persuasion seem to believe, a non-item. Whatchits are very real. Whatchits have legs and can get up and move around.

When an individual of the butch persuasion stands in the doorway of any given room and looks from the left side to the right side (or the right side to the left side) in 15 seconds or less and says, "Babe? I can't find the whatchit" the individual of the femme persuasion is urged not to roll her eyes. Instead, the individual of the femme persuasion should gently ask, "Where else have you not looked, dear?"

Asking the individual of the butch persuasion to describe said whatchit is a waste of time for the individual of the femme persuasion or the best butch buddy. That answer always sounds something similar to "You know... about this big and you use it to open/close/find/remove/fix things."

is also not a recommended facial expression.

Note: Stereotypes have been employed to mock. If you are not able to laugh at yourself, please go bye-bye,thanks and have a nice day.

[Arwen]

Isthatawordaphobia (n. "iz thaht ah werd ah foe bee ah") from the Zombian "to look it up"


Medical term describing the fear that someone has not misspelled a word but has used a word you actually don't know.

Often seen in Mensa-types and Mensa-wannabes.

Often those who suffer from this disorder can be seen hitting their frequently used shortcut to dictionary.com or pushing back from their desk to grab the nearest dictionary.

Someone with this disease often ends up making up dictionary definitions that suit some alternative universe they live in. This is to fend off the feelings of disappointment when they find a great word that isn't really a word.

See Also: FantasyWorlditis

[Arwen]

FlouncenBounce v. (French - Hisse'exite')

Verb usage: To fling one's self from a room or a thread. Generally seen in those who suffer from Dramaticusexitus. Often noted when passions are running high and a person of the Femme or Butch persuasion feels that they are being either ignored or (worse) not agreed with.

Example: Arwen flouncenbounced her ass right out of the thread "Poodles--better off dead". Seems she wanted everyone to see how wrong they were and how right she was.

Normally this event occurs with a great deal of drama concealed as restraint.

Example: Well, I would tell you what I really think but that might get me fruited so I am just going to unsubscribe from this thread.

Common responses to this are:

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."
"Watch out for that doorknob."

Often creates a dichotomy of resentment vs sympathy.

A most common side effect is the Revolving Door Flouncenbounce. This is where the person of the Femme or Butch persuasion announces they are leaving and then comes back.

Failed flouncenbouncing is rampant on some threads and should be seen as a possible medical disorder such as CantLeaveItAlonus.

[tuffboi29]

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor with a bar o' *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't.

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

with a bar o' *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't.

Dear Briber,

While the staff here as the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary does appreciate the gifts, we must maintain our stance that all are subject to being lampooned.

Hopefully, when one does find oneself in a definition, one will be in the plus category rather than the minus.

As they say, Defined is as Defined does...

Cordially Yours,

The Staff of the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

Whatzhyzname/Whatzhername Medical Condition (from the Amnesiac -- Non memorabliam)

This cry can be heard from individuals of the Butch persuasion as well as those individuals of the femme persuasion. Often found in a certain age category, this is the call of the terminally forgetful.

Frequently this hits certain individuals of the Butch persuasion in the Home Depot or at the ballpark while those individuals of the femme persuasion seem to suffer more often at the grocery store or the MAC counter.

A certain look steals across one's face when this affliction strikes. They are out and about. Someone walks up to them cheerfully calling them by name. They even ask them about their partner/cat/dog/bootblack.

There could be an aroma of smoke or even a small plume of white rising from the back of the cranial protection as the gears start spinning in a mad effort to recapture the name of the person in front of them.

A kind person, recognizing this problem, would immediately stick their hand out and say, "Hi! Do you remember me? I'm __________" thereby eliminating the grey matter overload occurring in front of them.

However, there is a sadistic variety of person who will stand there continuing to talk knowing that this person has no clue who they are.

The sadistic type will ask the sufferer about their partner by name. They will inquire after each pet and child also by name. They may even offer condolences for a co-worker's dead plant. With each comment, their infernal glee is fed by the look of "deer in the headlights" as the Whatzhyzname/Whatzhername sufferer goes deeper and deeper into the cobwebbed filled corners of their mind.

The staff at MirriFemme-Webutchster's New BFP Dictionary would like to encourage everyone to be kind to those older or more forgetful. Otherwise, karma is gonna suck when you get there.

[Arwen]

Unnecessarybumpitis, Medical term (from the Greek GottaPokeTheBearious)

This condition occurs mainly in those who feel ignored or slighted in some way. These sufferers are unique in that they like attention. One of the ways they seek this attention is to do what is known as bumping a thread.

Bumping A Thread is when one (either an individual of the butch persuasion or an individual of the femme persuasion) posts in a thread simply to bring it to the top of the front page and/or the attention of previous posters.

It is thought that those who like to bump threads also like to poke people who are meditating or napping. Some field researchers say those who suffer from Unnecessarybumpitis also have been seen to sneak up behind sleeping felines and yell "BOO."

No known cure at this time but some efficacy has been noted by gently playing along with these unfortunate enough to suffer from chronic Unnecessarybumpitis.

No examples are necessary at this time.

[tuffboi29]

Whereas I now realize I can't possibly bribe the staff...I would like to post a request for the finished product of the Dictionary.
I have waited unpatientiently long enough.

Thank you,
The Briber

[Arwen]

The staff need inspiration. Words? Terms?

[Arwen]

I feel an itch to define something. Anyone want to play?