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Old 05-19-2010, 10:23 AM   #1
nowandthen
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Default Banter and flirting

So, I am watching the West Wing and I love the banter and wit wrapped in the flirting scenes. I admit I am a week kneed Butch who is seduced by a Women's ability to use her brain to banter as a form of seduction

And you? is Banter a part of your flirting dance? If not is it a deal breaker?
I'll start, yes it is a deal breaker for me I find I need that balance of quick wit intellect in a potential partner. Having had it and also not having had it.
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Old 05-19-2010, 12:41 PM   #2
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I prefer someone be just who they are in real life and be honest about it, that way I can see how they act, and if I find a trait that I don't care for, it could be a deal breaker for me.
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:02 PM   #3
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I like the banter and wit a lot. I like anyone who "gets" my often bizarre sense of humor.

Lots of things might be deal breakers but intelligence, wit, and willingness to tolerate my occasional weirdness tend to keep me interested.
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:02 PM   #4
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I like good banter. However I dont like show offs whose egoes are so inflated that they think everything they say deserves an applause or is a trophy of their intelligence. You get one or a few in every crowd..it ends up looking like this:

I like banter and wit to be seasoned with compassion and humanity...
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:25 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by softness View Post
I like good banter. However I dont like show offs whose egoes are so inflated that they think everything they say deserves an applause or is a trophy of their intelligence. You get one or a few in every crowd..it ends up looking like this:

I like banter and wit to be seasoned with compassion and humanity...
Oh I not for show off banter, I'm for equal exchange banter, so I guess I find a difference between banter and having to be right, banter for me is not about being right, it is about the exchange, laughter,thought provoking,sexual innuendo, etc. I love the writing on the West Wing the exchanges or as I think of it as banter.
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:29 PM   #6
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Cerebral fucking!!!! Gotta have it!!!
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:34 PM   #7
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Default I prefer to call it "maintaining standards."

Banter, oh yes. Got. to. have. it.

I need the witty repartee. To be kept on my toes, challenged. Scint- & titillated. Keep me from becoming complacent.

Play 20 questions with me, show me you're a smarty pants.

I need it in my friends, too.

I'm a demanding asshole that way.


eta: "equal exchange banter" I like this. Reciprocity in all things. Except, well. Somethings.
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:40 PM   #8
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If it's bantering, I like the kind that makes me :yeah that:
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:45 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
Cerebral fucking!!!! Gotta have it!!!

Gray matter is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:58 PM   #10
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I am a fan of the banter-dance. Entice me, challenge me, make me laugh, voice your ideas, thoughts, opinions.....that is the ultimate foreplay. Attract my mind...and the body follows suit.
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Old 05-19-2010, 02:38 PM   #11
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i agree totally!

Just last night i had a great chat with a BFguy friend of mine.
Gosh he makes me laugh.
i just love when someone is quick on the take and can challenge me to keep up.
(not that i'm a slow chick - you should see me in action )


*freyja*--> in search of a mind-seducer. Any applicants? *grin*



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Old 05-19-2010, 02:44 PM   #12
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Get inside my head? The rest is easy........
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:04 PM   #13
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To me, (<~~ & what that means is "The following is MY opinion.") there is nothing more dreary than to be in a conversation with someone who never says anything or says very little....I might as well be talking to a wall.

I have to have the banter....I have to have the verbal 'sparring' (I don't mean fighting)....challenge me/let me challenge YOU, I have to have the back~&~forth of idea~bouncing.....it's intelligent, it makes me think, it excites me and delights me and it turns me on on SO many levels.........

Be milk~toast if You wish, but don't climb into my bowl, thanks!



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Old 05-19-2010, 03:12 PM   #14
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Be milk~toast if You wish, but don't climb into my bowl, thanks!

[/COLOR][/I][/B]
that made me laugh out loud
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:45 PM   #15
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To me, (<~~ & what that means is "The following is MY opinion.") there is nothing more dreary than to be in a conversation with someone who never says anything or says very little....I might as well be talking to a wall.

I have to have the banter....I have to have the verbal 'sparring' (I don't mean fighting)....challenge me/let me challenge YOU, I have to have the back~&~forth of idea~bouncing.....it's intelligent, it makes me think, it excites me and delights me and it turns me on on SO many levels.........

Be milk~toast if You wish, but don't climb into my bowl, thanks!



We are so on the same page Darling Diva...if someone can't take the banter they are gonna get their feelers hurt...and I don't want to hurt nobody...well not usually..I love me a good smartass, I am with Dude ya know, gotta love 'em
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:54 PM   #16
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So, I am watching the West Wing and I love the banter and wit wrapped in the flirting scenes. I admit I am a week kneed Butch who is seduced by a Women's ability to use her brain to banter as a form of seduction

And you? is Banter a part of your flirting dance? If not is it a deal breaker?
I'll start, yes it is a deal breaker for me I find I need that balance of quick wit intellect in a potential partner. Having had it and also not having had it.
Banter is very important for me. It's very similar to the rituals used in the animal kingdom. One being makes an advance, whether verbally, physically or through eye contact across the room (kinda physical but separate). The other being is either receptive or not. If receptive, the dance begins.

For me, words and the way one's mind works is just as potent a part of the flirting and mating ritual as the actual movements of the body. I can't have one without the other. There has to be a carnal, physical connection but if the mental processes aren't clicking, then it's going nowhere fast.

It works the same the other way too. I can have all the witty banter and flirtatious nothings whispered in my ear, but if I'm not attracted physically to them and they are not showing me that they are physically attracted to me, it's off. No Donkey Kong will be played that night or with that person.
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Old 05-19-2010, 04:10 PM   #17
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We are so on the same page Darling Diva...if someone can't take the banter they are gonna get their feelers hurt...and I don't want to hurt nobody...well not usually..I love me a good smartass, I am with Dude ya know, gotta love 'em
This is SO VERY true for me, also. It's always the smartass that catches my attention, and also gets me into BIG trouble! Lawdy, the stories I could tell! But, yup, if they can't give it AND take it, they can just keep on walkin!!!
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Old 10-21-2015, 05:53 PM   #18
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Wit is a MUST if you want to catch my attention
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Old 09-09-2018, 12:02 PM   #19
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Next is brains........someone who can carry on a good conversation!
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:38 PM   #20
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Default God yes...

There a few things sexier than a sharp mind - and good banter and skilled flirting are a sure sign of one!

I LIKE suggestive innuendo and good flirting. I love it when someone brings their A game to a conversation, an email, even a text. The more creative, the better...

Plus, if anyone's really that good, chances are they'll have an opportunity to back it up in person.
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