Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > The Femme Zone

The Femme Zone For all things "Femme"

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-17-2010, 09:15 AM   #1
Medusa
Mentally Delicious

How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much
Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme.
Relationship Status:
Married to JD.
 
Medusa's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,445
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,863 Times in 7,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861
Medusa has disabled reputation
Default The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

There was some discussion going on over in another thread about Female masculinity and how there is a certain "celebration" around a Butch person moving toward a "more masculine" way of being with adopting male pronouns, transitioning, etc.

That discussion sparked me to start thinking a little more critically about how the Femme community impacts and is impacted by this same continuum of "being more homogenous/acceptable/feminine (and insert any number of things that mean "more than what you already are")".
How do we as Femmes impact the visibility of Female Butches?

Do we, as Femmes, have a continuum in our own community where the hyper-feminine is more valid/valued? What does that look like to you when it's in action?

How does this continuum affect our visibility or does it?

There was also some discussion around pronoun usage and several folks brought up what it might look/feel like to a Femme if she were "he'd" on a regular basis out in the world but also (and especially) in this community.
Thoughts on this?

I'm having some thoughts on visibility and the celebration of movement toward each end of the spectrum for both Femmes and Butches. Particularly Im thinking about how there is something going on with Butches being celebrated as they move toward a more masculine presence and Femmes being celebrated if they maintain a more "hyper" Femme way of being. (Although I will say that I personally don't feel a huge push in our community to be more "valid" as Femmes by being "more" Femme)

Im thinking about how all of these things might affect our visibility as Femmes and how much we do/should care if we are invisible to the outside world. Do you think it is important for people to see you as Femme? Do you feel seen as a Femme in this community? How do you think your experience as a Femme with invisibility is affected by the marginalization of Female Butches?

I realize this is kinda random but I wanted to at least start the discussion and throw some questions out there to get us rolling. I havent had coffee this morning so I apologize if this is jumbled.
__________________
.
.
.

Last edited by Medusa; 05-17-2010 at 09:33 AM.
Medusa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 10:05 AM   #2
Chancie
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
queer femme-inist
Relationship Status:
I'm lucky.
 
Chancie's Avatar
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Western Mass
Posts: 3,688
Thanks: 9,188
Thanked 14,330 Times in 2,661 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Chancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST ReputationChancie Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Interestingly enough, here in Western Mass, behind the tofu curtain, I am seen as extra feminine, whatever that means.

I don't think of myself as a high femme, since I generally associate that with a choice of gender markers, but others have said that I am in fact a hippy-flavored high femme.
Chancie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Chancie For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 10:09 AM   #3
adorable
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Sarcastically
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Unavailable
 
adorable's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Home of the Yankee's
Posts: 752
Thanks: 1,708
Thanked 2,645 Times in 590 Posts
Rep Power: 12725118
adorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputationadorable Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I think it's interesting to see how many views people get on their pics depending how masculine or feminine they appear. It's not a scientific study, but it does seem that the MORE of the societial standard of feminine and masculine the more views people seem to have.
adorable is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to adorable For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 10:43 AM   #4
Enchantress
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
A complex confection.
Preferred Pronoun?:
Miss
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The land of milk and honey.
Posts: 2,169
Thanks: 741
Thanked 3,421 Times in 1,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
Enchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST ReputationEnchantress Has the BEST Reputation
Default I'll say it again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
I don't care for the way "we" are censored due to language or perceived lack of decorum by other members of our community. As though we were not ladylike enough, or genteel enough.

I want to have strong opinions, strong language and strong emotions without someone shaking their goddamn finger at me and trying to shame me into hushing. I want people to stop acting like they're my "Daddy" just because I am a Femme. I want us to be able to fuck whomever we want, whenever we want and not be called Whores or Sluts and have our morals called into question*.

I want us to stop apologizing because we pass as straight much of the time. It is what it is, and we have nothing to explain or apologize for.



*June isn't allowed to date
Hallelujah!!
Enchantress is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Enchantress For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 10:55 AM   #5
Jett
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
Jett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I do see a hierarchy in the femme "realm" just as I do with butch.

It's appears to me to not only have to do with outdated policed perceptions of femininity in mannerisms and appearance, but also how you identify- a to z, lesbian to transsensual... high to low... and strangely enough sometimes to where you're partner falls in the "butch hierarchy".

Oh let's not forget... how a femme behaves in the bedroom, because god forbid she top a butch... or straps (eta: or has so-called "lesbian sex").

Good thread... I'll be interested in hearing more.

Metro
__________________
..........
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

Last edited by Jett; 05-17-2010 at 10:59 AM.
Jett is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Jett For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 11:04 AM   #6
Medusa
Mentally Delicious

How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much
Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme.
Relationship Status:
Married to JD.
 
Medusa's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,445
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,863 Times in 7,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861
Medusa has disabled reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metropolis View Post
Oh let's not forget... how a femme behaves in the bedroom, because god forbid she top a butch... or straps (eta: or has so-called "lesbian sex").

Good thread... I'll be interested in hearing more.

Metro

And don't even get me started on the idea that Femmes are somehow "damaged" straight women.
Or straight women who are too fat or ugly to "get a real man".


I feel a tangent comin' on.
__________________
.
.
.
Medusa is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 11:06 AM   #7
Nat
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
bigender
Preferred Pronoun?:
whatevs
Relationship Status:
in a relationship
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 3,535
Thanks: 11,042
Thanked 13,993 Times in 2,596 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Nat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST ReputationNat Has the BEST Reputation
Default

What an exciting thread topic - I'm really looking forward to reading everybody's responses.

When I first entered the femmebutch community, I felt lots of pressure to be more feminine. At first, it was also rather fun to get all dolled up. Also it felt freeing to play with beauty, style, femininity and know that my intended audience was queer - I felt a lot of release from the male gaze when I first entered the community.

But I'm afraid I also transferred that internalized male gaze onto butches and felt somewhat oppressed because of it.

As far as pressures go, I have over time become more frustrated with not being interpreted as queer at all - which in a way counterbalances the other pressures. *

I do resent what I see as pressure from within the community to be as straight-seeming or straight-looking as possible in order to have femme cred, but I haven't encountered that message overtly all that often.

These days I just am myself. I am feminine (I think), but not super-feminine. I just try to be authentic and I avoid people who would not appreciate me for that.
__________________
I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl.

- Bjork

What is to give light must endure burning.

-Viktor Frankl
Nat is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Nat For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 11:11 AM   #8
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,784 Times in 4,469 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

There seems to be awful lot of rules for what women can look like (and act like) and be seen and taken seriously as queer/lesbian.

It seems hyper feminine is seen as the top of the femme hierarchy (most valued) but at the same time seen as the most suspect (supposedly more straight appearing), in terms of being legitimately queer/lesbian.

Why is feminine associated with straight and masculine associated with lesbian/queer when it comes to women?
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 12:34 PM   #9
AtLast
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Woman
Preferred Pronoun?:
HER - SHE
Relationship Status:
Relating
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
Posts: 5,408
Thanks: 11,826
Thanked 10,829 Times in 3,199 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
AtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST ReputationAtLast Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
I don't care for the way "we" are censored due to language or perceived lack of decorum by other members of our community. As though we were not ladylike enough, or genteel enough.

I want to have strong opinions, strong language and strong emotions without someone shaking their goddamn finger at me and trying to shame me into hushing. I want people to stop acting like they're my "Daddy" just because I am a Femme. I want us to be able to fuck whomever we want, whenever we want and not be called Whores or Sluts and have our morals called into question*.

I want us to stop apologizing because we pass as straight much of the time. It is what it is, and we have nothing to explain or apologize for.



*June isn't allowed to date
No, not one thing to apologize for!

I am so glad for this thread. It often feels like we take the full spectrum of femme identity for granted and are terribly narrow in what we consider femme. Compare the number of threads about butch identity to femme identity in terms of stereotypes predicated on the B-F dynamic.

Thanks to all in advance and I am listening to you all! This is a great opportunity for butches to get the facts!
AtLast is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to AtLast For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 01:53 PM   #10
Mrs. Strutt
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Stone Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/Her
Relationship Status:
16 Years as Queen of Hys Castle
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gulfport, FL
Posts: 243
Thanks: 266
Thanked 341 Times in 115 Posts
Rep Power: 17281
Mrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST ReputationMrs. Strutt Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
I want us to stop apologizing because we pass as straight much of the time.
And I would like others in our very own community to stop looking right through us when they meet us on the street in automatic assumption we are straight.
__________________
~ Tiffany

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...FLR/sunset.jpg

"If I can put one touch of rosy sunset into the life of any man or woman,
I shall feel that I have worked with God."


- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Mrs. Strutt is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Mrs. Strutt For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:22 PM   #11
Semantics
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
malapropist
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
single
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England
Posts: 2,169
Thanks: 6,367
Thanked 4,024 Times in 1,209 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Semantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST ReputationSemantics Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Strutt View Post
And I would like others in our very own community to stop looking right through us when they meet us on the street in automatic assumption we are straight.


I'm never recognized as queer unless I'm on the arm of a butch. It's kind of a drag for a single person.

Short of wearing a rainbow jumpsuit I'm not sure what to do about it.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Woman View Post
[COLOR="Blue"]But Portia Derossi isn't femme! She is a straight chick that was looking for a publicity boost!
Oh. Do you know her?

She's married to a woman. I don't really know how either she or her wife identify but I think it's unkind to reduce a couple's relationship to a "publicity boost".
Semantics is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Semantics For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:27 PM   #12
Apocalipstic
Pink Confection

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am
Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
 
Apocalipstic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,384 Times in 2,840 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855
Apocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Do we know Portia? How do we know she is straight? I mean, she had a pretty great career before Ellen being in Ally McBeal, and had a G/F even back then.

Isn't this what we are talking about? How unless we look Butch people think we are straight women? Taking Butches away from 'real" Lesbians.

I had other things to say, but this stopped me in my tracks.

UGH.
__________________
Apocalipstic is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:30 PM   #13
The_Lady_Snow
MILLION $$$ PUSSY

How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms.
Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
 
The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873
The_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Semantics View Post


I'm never recognized as queer unless I'm on the arm of a butch. It's kind of a drag for a single person.

Short of wearing a rainbow jumpsuit I'm not sure what to do about it.

.
Hi Semantics!!

My experience has been that if you get to know me as a femme, person or in an intimate relationship, you are gonna know I am queer. My language, ideals, politics, religion, sex, I know for *me* once you start a conversation it sounds nothing like that of a straight woman. Make sense?
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden


The_Lady_Snow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 02:30 PM   #14
SassyLeo
Is Grateful

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Engaged
 
SassyLeo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The PDX
Posts: 1,526
Thanks: 846
Thanked 1,584 Times in 622 Posts
Rep Power: 856201
SassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
I don't care for the way "we" are censored due to language or perceived lack of decorum by other members of our community. As though we were not ladylike enough, or genteel enough.

I want to have strong opinions, strong language and strong emotions without someone shaking their goddamn finger at me and trying to shame me into hushing. I want people to stop acting like they're my "Daddy" just because I am a Femme. I want us to be able to fuck whomever we want, whenever we want and not be called Whores or Sluts and have our morals called into question*.

I want us to stop apologizing because we pass as straight much of the time. It is what it is, and we have nothing to explain or apologize for.



*June isn't allowed to date
There is a person I have met on several occasions, who lives in the area. She identifies as a top/daddy type. The first time I met her, I walked into a gay bar where I was meeting others...she immediately bombarded me a VERY assertive schpeel... -was I new in town-, -where was I from-, -am I kinky-, etc. Upon further conversation, she asked me if I had gotten involved in the local BDSM scene. At the time, I had been to a few meet-ups and networked a bit... but wasn't really "in" it. She proceeded to try to "top" me... and I don't mean in a physical sense, but energetically and verbally. I don't even know if I could explain it, but I could just feel it, almost like a predator. She gave me her business card and said if I "really wanted to get connected to the "right" scene, to call her. The other groups in town were a "mess", "too soft" etc. She asked for my info and I said, "Look, I'm not a bottom and I do not give out my number." She gave me a shocked look and said, "Well, keep my card, you'll change your mind" and winked at me.

Now I realize we are all not like this... (Looking at Snowy )

I am femme. Probably considered very femme, by appearances. It pisses me off that there is a stereotype attached to us, that we are all bottoms/subs, etc. I can be whatever the fuck I want.

In the world we all make assumptions about people, everyday. I wish that in my OWN community this didn't happen... but I don't know if that is possible.
__________________
Joy is the best makeup
-Anne Lamott
SassyLeo is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to SassyLeo For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 02:55 PM   #15
Medusa
Mentally Delicious

How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much
Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme.
Relationship Status:
Married to JD.
 
Medusa's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,445
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,863 Times in 7,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861
Medusa has disabled reputation
Default

I'd like to explore how Femme Top energy isn't always in a masculine or "Daddy" form.

But yes, Femme often equals "fuckee" in a lot of people's minds. Even when it does, I don't think it should equal "less than".
__________________
.
.
.
Medusa is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:00 PM   #16
Pretty Woman
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Trying to be true to myself
 
Pretty Woman's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 73
Thanks: 45
Thanked 173 Times in 57 Posts
Rep Power: 17331
Pretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST ReputationPretty Woman Has the BEST Reputation
Red face

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme View Post
I can't think of any. Not that I don't sometimes want to label somebody, like say...Portia Derossi and Ellen. The thing is, they haven't mentioned it and though I'd love it, it's not so. The very FACT that I want to label them a cute Butch Femme couple is wrong. I think it comes from desperately wanting role models and people "like me" in my every day media.
But Portia Derossi isn't femme! She is a straight chick that was looking for a publicity boost! But did anyone see the Cynthia Nixon interview last week where she referred to her butch fiancee as 'a man with boobs'? Honestly, I was offended as it struck me as apologetically homophobic!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linus View Post
I don't think that's wrong. I know that Kirsten Vangsness is gay and for some reason struck me as femme but not sure why. (I don't believe she's in a B-F relationship however). I think the media is stuck on the idea that a femme is a non-existent being (being lesbian and being feminine is not allowed as far as the MSM is concerned -- unless it's pr0n.)
I couldn't disagree more. I often feel that the only 'acceptables' are femmes...the straighter looking the better. And that butches only get noticed by the MSM when the media wants us for a freak show. Sort of analogous to when the local news only shows the Radical Fairies at gay pride.
__________________
She packed up her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things
Pretty Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Pretty Woman For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:16 PM   #17
The_Lady_Snow
MILLION $$$ PUSSY

How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms.
Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
 
The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873
The_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I've no clue if Portia is a Femme, or uses that gender identity, I believe though she has been dating women since 04 how long do we hold on to the straight chick label before we are ok'd to be gay, queer etc?
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden


The_Lady_Snow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post:
Old 05-17-2010, 03:17 PM   #18
SuperFemme
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/24/2010
Preferred Pronoun?:
She.
Relationship Status:
Married (one of 18,000)
 
4 Highscores

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atascadero, CA
Posts: 4,933
Thanks: 2,309
Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts
Rep Power: 0
SuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

From the Advocate interview:

"Christine would probably kill me for saying this, but my daughter said one time that if you really had to break this down, [it looks like] she would be butch and I would be femme…but really once you get to know us it’s really the opposite.”

Does this out them as a Butch-Femme couple? Or not? Curious.
SuperFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 03:23 PM   #19
Linus
The Planet's Technical Bubba

How Do You Identify?:
FTM
Preferred Pronoun?:
He/Him/Geek
Relationship Status:
Married to my forever!
 
Linus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
Posts: 5,440
Thanks: 2,929
Thanked 10,743 Times in 3,176 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
Linus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST ReputationLinus Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Woman View Post
But Portia Derossi isn't femme! She is a straight chick that was looking for a publicity boost! But did anyone see the Cynthia Nixon interview last week where she referred to her butch fiancee as 'a man with boobs'? Honestly, I was offended as it struck me as apologetically homophobic!

I couldn't disagree more. I often feel that the only 'acceptables' are femmes...the straighter looking the better. And that butches only get noticed by the MSM when the media wants us for a freak show. Sort of analogous to when the local news only shows the Radical Fairies at gay pride.

But do they see them as femmes or feminine lesbians??
__________________
Personal Blog || [] || Cigar Blog


"We become Human Doings instead of Human Beings." -- Ram Dass
Linus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 03:33 PM   #20
SassyLeo
Is Grateful

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Engaged
 
SassyLeo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The PDX
Posts: 1,526
Thanks: 846
Thanked 1,584 Times in 622 Posts
Rep Power: 856201
SassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST ReputationSassyLeo Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Woman View Post
But Portia Derossi isn't femme! She is a straight chick that was looking for a publicity boost!


I cannot tell if you are being glib? Because I don't believe that at all. Are you sure you don't mean Anne Heche?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Woman View Post
But did anyone see the Cynthia Nixon interview last week where she referred to her butch fiancee as 'a man with boobs'? Honestly, I was offended as it struck me as apologetically homophobic!
Uh, yes. There is a whole thread about that here: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1357

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Woman View Post
I couldn't disagree more. I often feel that the only 'acceptables' are femmes...the straighter looking the better. And that butches only get noticed by the MSM when the media wants us for a freak show. Sort of analogous to when the local news only shows the Radical Fairies at gay pride.
__________________
Joy is the best makeup
-Anne Lamott
SassyLeo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:37 AM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018