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01-08-2014, 08:49 PM
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#981 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Her Asshole. Preferred Pronoun?:
Him, hym, he, whatever. Relationship Status:
Bitch has no more excuses now. 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 519
Thanks: 206
Thanked 2,785 Times in 499 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848   |
Two For One Deal.
First one...Years ago mom and step dad took a road trip. Part of trip took them across Nevada. That night I get call from step dad saying mom wants to tell me something. She gets on phone all excited, "Did you know what they raise out here in the middle of the desert?!" I said, "Uh, no. What?" Getting even more excited she says, "Bunnies. They raise bunnies!" Not understanding what the hell she's talking about I said, "What do you mean bunnies? Where did you hear that?" By now I can hear step dad in background trying so hard not to just bust out laughing as my mom continues, "Well, we were just driving across the desert, nothing for miles and miles, then we came up on this billboard that said, "BUNNY FARM, TURN LEFT AT NEXT EXIT".
Of course this was the cue for step dad to lose it while I proceed to tell my sweet, naïve mom, "Mom!!! They aren't raising bunnies in the middle of the freaking desert. It's a whore house!" Leave it to my step dad to hold that in all day so my mother's only child would have the pleasure of telling her what it really was. All of this came rushing back as I traveled across I 80 into Nevada. Second thing involves my wife. She is getting really into cooking and not just any cooking but gourmet cooking. (Yay me!) Today she went to store and bought purple potatoes. The kind that are purple all the way through. So she calls to tell me and all I could say was, "Awwww, you got queer tators!" Love My Family, Brute. |
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01-30-2014, 03:24 PM
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#982 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
a Frosty will never be the same...
Sitting in Wendy's parking lot....my roommate exclaims (in a happy voice) "Look how stiff it is!"
I look over at him .gif "Say What?") slap him on the shoulder ...then he gets this embarrassed look and we both crack up.... my roommate is a goofball!!
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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01-30-2014, 04:51 PM
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#983 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 124
Thanks: 338
Thanked 447 Times in 96 Posts
Rep Power: 3970855 |
Funny commentary for a honey badger video
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01-31-2014, 03:16 PM
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#984 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Crazy furbabies!!
I had went outside to open the chicken pen to allow them to free range... Blade's large german sheppard immediately starts to have a panic attack, whining and barking... When I get back inside, all 3 little furbabies hear the sheppard barking and think Blade is home ...so they start whining and crying to get out. Only Skippy has this really HIGH PITCH screaming noise that hurts your ears...I've never heard a dog make noises like that!! I tried to hush them...but they insisted that Blade was home...so I let them out to see... Skippy (who I call Dippy) went scooting out real fast, JUMPED off porch...kicked up dirt as he hit the drive lane, his ears completely perked up...dancing like only a chihuahua can...gets to middle of drive way and looks around for Blade's truck, with a huge STUNNED "where's my Daddy" look on his little face!!.., This crazy dog, who for the last several cold days refused to step foot in the yard, then turned around, literally kicking up dirt as he scooted around "the play pen" and like a lightening bolt headed down to the tool shed looking for Blade...From the look on his face and how he pranced as he ran, you could tell he was DETERMINED his daddy was home! Skippy Dippy is what I call a velcro dog...GLUED to his daddy
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-04-2014, 08:26 PM
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#985 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Respectful and situational appropriate ones Relationship Status:
Enjoying butchelorhood 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,301
Thanks: 7,390
Thanked 4,386 Times in 1,233 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
__________________
Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer. |
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02-11-2014, 10:07 PM
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#986 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
My stooooopid crazy chickens ...instead of getting in their warm cozy nesting hutch, they stood in the snow all day... but 7 of them gave me pretty eggs...they'd get snowed on, fluff their feathers, stand there while they get snowed on again ...
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-18-2014, 11:50 PM
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#987 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I'm still laughing!!! I talked to my roommate tonight to hear how my dog decided to jump in the shower with him....the pups face peeking thru the shower curtain...then he invited himself in....
This is our only dog that will willingly jump over the tub's edge on command when he needs a bath....tonight I think he was just lonely and wanted Blade's undevided attention.
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-20-2014, 05:22 PM
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#988 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
What wasn't posted in 5 letters today in response to:
F R M U B The first sentence that popped into her head: Frantically removing my unclean boxers... Jeez...That was funny (& gross)! As the cleanest butch in the known world, this sentence was especially funny coming from her. |
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02-20-2014, 09:41 PM
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#989 |
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Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
... Preferred Pronoun?:
... 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,737
Thanked 22,958 Times in 5,020 Posts
Rep Power: 0  |
Doggy antics!
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02-22-2014, 01:41 PM
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#990 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft butch Preferred Pronoun?:
whatever.. Relationship Status:
SINGLE 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 226
Thanks: 1,215
Thanked 727 Times in 205 Posts
Rep Power: 3291560 |
While cleaning the garage I found $20. & my 5yr. Niece loks @ me (with hand out) & says "HOT DAMN AUNT BARBIE..YOU GONNA SPLIT THAt MONEY WITH ME...BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.." Im in trouble as she gets older..
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Im just me thats it..
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02-23-2014, 12:37 AM
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#991 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
their attemp to *whip* me into submission :)
Them: Fantastic...get in that tub so you can call me after!! Get ya going before I spank your cute behind!! And don't think I can't spank ya, I got your address and many options to get there.
Me: OMG! spanking? Don't go there honey...you're playing with Fire 
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-24-2014, 12:02 AM
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#992 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,780
Thanks: 4,613
Thanked 12,092 Times in 3,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
this is for paybacks baby...fun delightful painfully sweet pay backs...since *you* have never said THAT word to me before
(Scene: they are pulling an all nighter at work...I woke up from short nap now can't sleep)....
Texts: Them: I'm trying to read your emails but I'm on a ladder 18 feet up...not a good idea! Me: I'm gonna kick yer azz when you get down!!! Them:woooo hoo I like feisty turns me on Me: Then hope you can take feisty!! Them: Hey now you just made me drop my nail gun Me: I DID? *chuckles* Them: You just eat this up...making me stuble and stuff...dang you're sexy Me: grinz...possibly....sexy is empowering... sexy is confidence...Them: ohh yeah and you're all in one package, what a treat, what a heartthrob...ohh my boner, grinz Them: let me hear your voice before you go to bed, like 5 minutes, you need sleep Me: (responding before I read the boner statement) Now stop letting me distract you so you'll be safe...call when you get a break... Me: (look on face after seeing *boner* and reading their request to call) CALL METhem: I'm climbing down ladder, you gonna call me? They dial me...I pick up and calmly ask if they are ok? *Yes, why?* Me: You DID NOT JUST SAY BONER!!!!! They start laughing so hard I couldn't understand what they said....I start laughing with them, they stop long enough to do a sexy growl...I start laughing harder to where it makes me have a coughing fit!!! They're still laughing as they say OH MY GOD, I just drew a glass of water to offer you!! I can't believe I just did that!!! This made me laugh even harder...I sit up, coughing and laughing, scare my poor dog and he FALLS OFF THE BED, wedged between the wall and bed...rescued poor Willy ...I say " kinda like the first day you called me, and you popped a breath mint before I picked up??" I get wrapped up in their deep, gorgeous, fun belly laugh...I'm still coughing...I say "oh my god I need some tea"....their response "I'm sorry to choke you up baby!" (I could hear the naughty grin).... I retort back "if THAT'S not an innuendo!!!" All this laughing because of a boner!!! This was sooooo much fun in person!!! Wish I could have voice recorded it!! THIS TIME...I had no intention of *bleeping stuff out* to "protect the innocent"....not a chance!
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-24-2014, 11:36 PM
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#993 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft butch Preferred Pronoun?:
whatever.. Relationship Status:
SINGLE
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 226
Thanks: 1,215
Thanked 727 Times in 205 Posts
Rep Power: 3291560 |
While helping a friend move my phone rings I answer only to hear this soft voice saying aunt Barbie you gotta come get me right now.. Mommy isnt being nice & im over it..
While trying not to laugh I ask why is mommy not being nice.. I get a responce of "I want ice cream"..& mommy said no.. So u come get me & get me ice cream & ill stay the night @ ur house.. So hurry up I dont like waiting. I lost it & yes I did go get her & the ice cream also got her sister but took them home when ice cream kicked in good..
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Im just me thats it..
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02-25-2014, 11:35 AM
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#994 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Poetically versed to breathe only truth and bleed certainty Preferred Pronoun?:
Kane Relationship Status:
Married to Chefnaction
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Finally, home
Posts: 1,987
Thanks: 5,900
Thanked 4,743 Times in 1,586 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
__________________
I need your grace To remind me To find my own |
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02-25-2014, 04:35 PM
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#995 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,585
Thanks: 182,168
Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,657 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
The owner of my salon with a customer. They were discussing where the customer's eyebrows should be drawn.
Customer: They are under my glasses. Owner: They are supposed to be there. Customer: What's the point of having them if they are hidden? Owner: It's where they go. It's natural. Customer: I want them here. *draws lines well above the top of her glasses* Owner: Now, come on. You don't want that! You'd look like a hookah.  They continue bickering with one another until the owner catches my eye and says, "Grandmuthaahs!" Then the grandmother said, "Now do them like this!" and drew two very curved lines on her forehead. Owner: I'm not turning you into a Bozo hookah! Now, stop it and go away. I love you and will see you later. Grandmother: I should pay you for this, right? Owner: Nah. You can't afford me. Just buy me a drink at the wedding. The two of them went on and on, back and forth, for a good ten minutes. North Eastern families. Gotta love 'em. |
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02-25-2014, 04:37 PM
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#996 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl Preferred Pronoun?:
Female Ones... Relationship Status:
Enjoying life but ready to meet someone Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 3,945
Thanks: 12,015
Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Listening to book 2 of 39 clues... there are moments that I just bust out laughing... It really helps make my day go by fast at work
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Previously known as MidnightBlueEyes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://gailsforum.files.wordpress.co...-psd340941.png |
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02-25-2014, 11:26 PM
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#997 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
☀️☀️☀️ 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 14,766
Thanks: 28,401
Thanked 39,514 Times in 10,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
Watching Jimmy Fallon try on Shaquille O'Neal's suit jacket. He is one big guy! I laughed so loud, I scared the fur babies.
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 kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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03-11-2014, 07:22 PM
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#998 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Down on the farm
Posts: 5,492
Thanks: 9,850
Thanked 14,399 Times in 4,049 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
that little Christmas Elf
text conversation..............
Mom.....JBH just called me, she says the Christmas Elf has stuck a rubber band up her nose. You can imagine my laughter at this point Me...Oh Lordy Mom....She says she has used tweezers and can't get it out Me...Tell her to make her blow her nose Mom...Well yeah...only she sniffed instead. Now she can't see it. I have now suggested she use a suction bulb like when she was a baby. Me....Google it...how to remove a rubber band from a child's nose
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Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it. |
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03-16-2014, 12:40 AM
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#999 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Down on the farm
Posts: 5,492
Thanks: 9,850
Thanked 14,399 Times in 4,049 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Text Convo
Mom...your favorite TV show would have been 50 this month....guess
me...Mom did they make TVs when I was 1? Mom...yes Me..Did we have a TV when I was 1 Mom..yes a tiny one Me...I'm guessing Rawhide or something cowboyish Mom...NOPE "FLIPPER" Mom...Oh and in 64 you were 2 Me...Not until September I wasn't
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Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it. |
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03-16-2014, 09:50 AM
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#1000 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
With my drivers Lic. Preferred Pronoun?:
Gentleman.. Depends on the Situation. Relationship Status:
Last Rodeo, what a ride, many sunrises & sunsets to be had... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where a realtor had me sign the dotted line
Posts: 1,901
Thanks: 6,466
Thanked 5,471 Times in 1,451 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Walking outside to retrieve something out of my truck.. And my neighbor waving up a storm and yelling good morning. I wave back and lean into my truck to search for my paper work.
Neighbor yells to me, Hey Blaze? I wanna know where you got those cool looking shorts from? I think my husband will like those, they look comfortable! I look down and turn beat red... Umm ahhh well Ma'am, as I slowly cover the front of as much of my BOXERS as possible, I umm got them from American Eagle and they may still have some... Thank you Ma"am have a wonderful day! I really need to be more vigilant and aware about my shorts lmao |
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