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Old 03-11-2014, 08:43 PM   #1
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Default The Positive Life

I was thinking about a few people I know today who are very positive and really work hard to keep negative emotions checked and appreciate all of the wonderful things they have in life.

What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

What are some things you do to stay positive?

Share your thoughts!
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:15 PM   #2
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I repeat some positive phrase to myself, nothing very fancy, like "Everything's great," when I feel anxiety and negative thoughts gathering. I do it when I'm walking, or trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I count off on my fingers as I repeat the phrase silently to myself.

If I'm walking into a meeting or gathering and have a negative, persistent thought, I repeat a phrase to myself that reflects the opposite of that negative thought.

I guess what I do is bury repeating negative thoughts with repeating positive thoughts.

It helps.
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:19 PM   #3
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for me I think of all the good I have in this life a wonderful wife great kid and 4 sweet fubabies.. we both have jobs and family .. so I feel if you share good you get good.. you never know what the power of positive will bring or who you may effect..

to keep negative away I think of where I have come from things I have over come and all that I have
I focus on the love from desd from goose from phoebe gracie jules and piper that I have a great relationship with my family
and I have the family here

try to leave the world better then you found it if even in a small way
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:28 PM   #4
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This is something I have spent a lot of time working on. I deal with anxiety, and a lot of life challenges that won't be going away. It took me years to get to a place where I believe I am a mostly positive person, and there are still days I slip... but I work hard... some of the things I do that help are.

Take time for me, a bath, a walk, or even a phone call.

Do something to make someone else smile. Rent a movie for the kids, buy a flower for my mother, make a meal I know someone else will enjoy.

Daily affirmations and recognition (this is one I am just starting up again) its important to give myself credit, and pep talks dont hurt either.
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:31 PM   #5
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My dad, no stranger to hardships, always said that when you had a problem, there were two choices. If you could take action, you took it. If you couldn't act, you changed your attitude. Often, changing your attitude revealed some unthought-of action to take. He didn't cotton to whiners and moaners, including me.

When I'm having a "bad" day, I remember that day I wrote about here; standing in the kitchen of a battered women's shelter in downtown Cleveland, holding a damn bologna sandwich over my head like Scarlett in the garden, vowing that I would be fucking thankful for everything that came to me after that, good and bad. Sometimes it takes time, but I succeed more than not.

At that moment, I did not have a home. I had a job, but it was supposed to be temporary. I barely had clothes. I didn't have a degree. All these blessings and many more have come around since.

When the thoughts intrude, I've been taking them to the gym or the pool and leaving them in my sweat. That's another blessing, that while I'm well padded, everything works. Lots of folks, including several on this board, aren't as lucky.

It's not that I'm happy-happy all the time, but staying in that negativity isn't an option for me.
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:35 AM   #6
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Staying present, in the now, and recognizing that the past is done and gone, helps to keep me positive.

Remaining grateful always for what I have and for who I am, helps to keep me positive.

Remembering that I always have a choice as to how I feel and what I think and do about things that affect my life, definitely helps to keep me positive.

I also try to maintain a healthy sense of humor which helps in stressful situations.

When all else fails, sometimes a nap is what is needed.
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:49 AM   #7
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saying to myself or someone else who and what I am grateful for.

letting myself feel the anger or fear, not trying to stop it. feel it, take action, or let it go (which is another way to take action if it is not serving me). remind myself I will be well no matter what (however it turns out).

if I find myself always feeling negative around certain people, I stop hanging around them, or keep my distance emotionally from them.

take a walk. wow, I live in a beautiful area.

reach out to someone who is delightful.

did I mention how beautiful it is where I live?
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Old 03-12-2014, 08:27 PM   #8
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Even though I may come across as grumpy on this site.....it's truly all in fun.


I have two advantages in my bag of tricks that help me stay really positive most of the time.

The first, I'm a recovering addict. I've been clean for well, years, since I was nineteen. Working a program, it has taught me that holding onto negative is a complete and total waste of time, energy and brain space. In the early years while I was massively struggling to come to terms with my addiction, I would get so frustrated and mad at everything and everybody. My poor sponser went out and bought me a big ole garden rock. She gave it to me and told me to carry the bitch around with me 24/7. I did. For two days. It was a tad hard trying to tote this thing around and get horses from point a to point b as well as train them. So the second day I went up to her whining and bitching and complaining. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset with it, myself, her, the weather, the price of potatoes.....everything. She listened to me, giggling the whole time, and when I finally wound myself down, and she stopped laughing, she said.................well drop the damn thing. I realized that it was actually that freaking easy to drop the crap and negativity. Just don't let it occupy time and space in my brain. It was and still is the funniest lesson I've learned. Well, one of the funniest.

The second advantage I have is that I was run over by a car. Like my head got run over by the tire of a car and it popped like a grape. Wasn't supposed to make it. I was in a coma for close to 6 months. Every organ failed at least once, some twice. When I finally came too I had to relearn everything. I mean EVERYTHING. How to blink, eat, poop, talk, move blah blah blah. So when things get hard and I start feeling sorry for my poor pookie self, all I can think is well at least I'm upright and breathing.


So in conclusion......lol, When something bad comes up in my life, I have to decide whether I'm gonna drag around a freaking rock or not and I also have to ask myself if it's gonna kill me. Usually it's not so hey, I'm all good.


Sorry, that was a bit long.
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Old 03-13-2014, 10:49 AM   #9
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Default My Positive Life

What are some things I do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

I have always tried to be a positive person … I try to see the good in everyone and have trusted that everyone was good … I found that more times than not that I got kicked in the teeth … It has taken a conscience effort on my part (this is a minute by minute effort ) to recognize the Negative and put in check… Stop the thought process and replace it with Positive and good thoughts and intentions… the more I do it the easier it has become. Also I have learned to take things that I thought were bad and awful in my life and extract the good things that I took away from them instead of the negative … And in doing so I find room in my heart for being thankful that whatever it was or whoever it was … there was reason for loving them and reason that it came to an end … better to see the good and remember that with a smile then to live with the heaviness of hate and anger … I have also learned to recognize red flags and let go of negative people and things in my life before given the chance to hurt me .

What are some things I do to stay positive?

It took me many many years to figure out that what you put out there you get back… I am now a more positive person I’m grateful every day for the things in my life no matter how little they seem to be …
I keep a journal and at the end of the night before I lay my head down … I list 5 things I am grateful for … sometimes the list is the same as the day before … and sometimes very different ..
I also have changed the things I put in to my body .. I try very very hard to put only natural things in to my body .. And I have to tell you this is a struggle just getting in to your car you pass a dozen fast-food restaurants … Convenient prepackaged foods are not so good for us … I take the time to Prepare what nourishes me *S*


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Old 03-13-2014, 12:36 PM   #10
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Post :)

Things that help me stay in the positive :

Lots of self care : exercising, sleeping well, eating "right", playing guitar, listening to music

Spending time with positive humans

SEX/Kink

having an animal companion
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:38 PM   #11
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Great subject Medusa.For me to keep a good attitude plus a less dramatic life I do many things to keep things happy/stress free as can be.One is to take care of my out look on whats going on in the space I call mine,another is I stay away from negative people who can't live without drama,needy& whiney people just want to use anyone they can drop the oh poor me thing on.Controling people is another thing I just let pass me by, big red flag on this one.Anyone on drugs or booze as a means of life ..red flag again.Liers and cheaters big time trouble...I run like a track star from this.On the good side I am thank full for the good things,apresheate what I can and let those in my world know they mean a lot to me by word,action and deed.I take care of my health,watch my $$ so I can enjoy the things in life annnnddd once in a while I splurge on something.
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Old 03-13-2014, 01:01 PM   #12
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I have a lifetime history of getting through really tough hard times. I have succeeded in pulling myself up and moving on, no matter what the trauma or crisis was. It all started with my brother's suicide in 1975. I stayed pretty drunk for about 15 years after that and then one day I just decided I didnt want to be the dead one.

I snatched life back and started living it loudly. Sure I have taken risks that at times have caused havoc, but oh my god, the thrilling adventure that is my life! I read like a well lived life....

but when things are just going smoothly and I am having a bad day, I call people up. Or I do something I always wanted to do but made excuses not to do. Could be as simply as dusting the house. Or it could be a walk in our areas gorgeous botanical garden. I journal. I go on the internet and connect. I find a horse. I walk the dogs.

the important thing, is to stop doing what I am doing and do something else. Sitting in a one direction stream, only gives you the same result...
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Old 07-13-2014, 04:16 PM   #13
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If I have a pissy day or feel irritated about something, I will stop and list 3 things I am wildly grateful for. It works every time to put me back into a positive headspace and to give me a little perspective!
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Old 07-13-2014, 05:10 PM   #14
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Visit my therapist weekly.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:33 PM   #15
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I went swimming today. I did laps in the lap pool, I sat in the hot tub. It made me remember that self care is so very, very important. I feel grounded and capable. Even with all the very challenging things going on in my life... I feel under control.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:21 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

What are some things you do to stay positive?

Share your thoughts!
Today, I worked out like a demon and got those endorphins chugging along. I'm finding that, as long as I work out at least every other day, I can manage my irritation with life and other people better. I knew that, but life has a way of rinse, lather and repeating until you're numb and handy information like that, and self care in general, tends to fall by the wayside.

I try to remember that saying "in 100 years, all new people" or 'this too shall pass' but mostly I tell myself that I wouldn't do well in prison so let it go and move on.
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Old 07-13-2014, 09:00 PM   #17
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I started owning the fact that I had way to many negative people around me because I thought I could help them! They say you can't fix stupid however you don't have to let them suck the very life out of you! See ya!
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Old 07-14-2014, 06:07 AM   #18
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Two things help me stay in a good place mentally. I don't take on other people's problems nor goals.

Other people's problems aren't my problems. I can empathize, be compassionate and/or sympathetic. I will help you, but the problem isn't mine to solve or worry about. Or, you may not like me or what I did. I'll accept that, apologize, work with you so it doesn't happen again, part on friendly terms, etc.... but I'm not going to let your bad impression of me become my impression of me.

Other people's goals aren't mine, either. I make an effort to not compare myself with others or worry about how much income my friends and teammates earn, what trips they take, property they own, bonuses they have, cars, marriages etc. I try to stay focused on what I need to make me happy and how I'm going to attain these needs. On the most part, I'm able to stay focused on my needs and this allows me to be happy for other people and happy for me.
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Old 07-14-2014, 06:42 AM   #19
aishah
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watch/read something that makes me happy - for the last several months this has been my little pony. i also play with my mlp toys and such. it helps that my daddy is really into mlp too so we can squee over it together.

i think about all the things i have that i am grateful for - a nice apartment, food, enough money to pay for my needs and some of my wants, lots of books, games, my partners and family, friends, etc.

i try to limit my energy to things that have to be done, like taking care of my health. focusing on survival can be both a negative and a positive, but in being in community with other queer disabled folks, i've learned some helpful outlooks. a friend of mine with a rare tumor condition says that she often asks herself, if this is the last day she has or the last project she gets to work on or whatever, what would she do with her time? this outlook is for me really helpful for narrowing my focus to realize that expending energy on drama or things that don't fill me up is really a waste of my one precious life.

praying, really and truly for me helps. a lot of joy for me is found in centering my days around prayer as much as possible and a lot of suffering happens when i forget to pray and then let myself get caught up in whatever painful shit is going on, i.e. work drama and stuff.
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Old 07-14-2014, 08:09 AM   #20
Rockinonahigh
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The main thing the bugs me is learning to deal with my diabetes,there are days
I have it going my way then I find I don't at all,then it kicks my butt.My numbers are with in the allowed amount but like this morning I tested at 127 instead of 110 or so....all I ate was three crackers before I remembers to test..three dam crackers.I should have waited a while but I got up starving plus I have had to many drops lately and I have spoken to the Doctor about it,so far no word from her.I remind myself it could be worse so watch what I eat with out thinking.
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