Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > General Gender Discussions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-11-2011, 06:29 AM   #1
*Anya*
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 
*Anya*'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,891 Times in 7,296 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default National Coming Out Day 10/11! What's Your Story?

National Coming out Day is Tuesday, Oct. 11. †Founded in 1988 by Robert Eichberg, a psychologist from New Mexico, and †Jean O'Leary, an openly- gay political leader from Los Angeles, the date †was chosen to commemorate the anniversary of the 1987 National March on †Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

To celebrate National Coming Out Day, is there someone or a group of people you would like to come out to-but have not yet done so?

What was coming out like for you? Who did you tell first? Are you still coming out (it can be a life-long process).

PS: Coming out applies to you no matter how you ID if BFP is your home-away-from-home!
__________________
~Anya~


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parentsí actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2011, 05:39 PM   #2
1QuirkyKiwi
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
BBW. Unique femininity that does not encompass the western paradigm.
Preferred Pronoun?:
Anything Respectful!
Relationship Status:
Single, Happy, not Desparate or Looking, but Open to Possibilities...
 
1QuirkyKiwi's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Europe and Aotearoa on a 5:2 ratio.
Posts: 2,308
Thanks: 11,003
Thanked 6,043 Times in 1,619 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation1QuirkyKiwi Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I felt safe and comfortable first coming out to my Maori Grandmother at about 6-7 yrs. She kept my 'secret' until I was ready to tell my Maori Great-Uncle and his partner - they understood my fears of how the Maori family would react as they are gay. My Maori Great-Uncle was ostracised for many years because of it (we're talking pre WWII up until the early 60s).

By my late teens only the close family knew - the others suspected. My first time in the UK, as far as my English side of the family were/are concerned, I'm just me.

I came out to my Scottish side of the family in 2004 when I was living there - we've hardly spoken since!

In my professional life, I've only told those I've ever been closest too.
__________________
What will make the difference to me is your strength of character and what's in your heart...



1QuirkyKiwi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to 1QuirkyKiwi For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2011, 06:14 PM   #3
Soon
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Relationship Status:
attached
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,119 Times in 3,398 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
Soon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST ReputationSoon Has the BEST Reputation
Default

It's funny b/c I still cannot talk about it to many--even though, it has been over ten years.

I might be able to do the bare bones of it.

2002--I was 32 and had only been with one other woman for a year before this scenario.


Characters: Catholic Mother--Me

Restaurant--her and myself having a bday lunch (we are two days apart in the same month)

She asked how my *friend* was...and then proceeded to ask where she slept when she visited me (she was living in a different province at the time).

I replied, "Oh, so you know that we are more than friends..."

Her response: "WHAT?!?!?!?! You are kidding me; tell me you are joking!"

My response: "No. I though you KNEW!! Why would you ask her sleeping arrangements, if you didn't. etc etc"

Mom's response: "OMG. You HAD BOYFRIENDS!!!"

My response: "Yes...and now I don't...and exactly what IS your problem that M. is my lover?"

Her response: "It's against the CATHOLIC Church!"

My response: "And so was me sleeping with the past boyfriends, but you got used to that!"

Her response: "YOU ARE NOT GAY! People KNOW when they are/you were NOT born that way...." (still working on that as I believe women's sexuality is quite complicated, but what can you do when the meme is you are BORN that way.)

My response: I left the restaurant.

MOM left and knocked on my apt where my partner was sitting there and she proceeded to tell my gf how SELFISH I was and had always been. That's another story.

--------------------------

Conclusion: It got better from there.
-------------------------------

That is ONE of the coming out stories...of course, we do it over and over and over...i have tonnes of them, but that is the one that stands out in my head.
Soon is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Soon For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2011, 07:14 PM   #4
*Anya*
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 
*Anya*'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,891 Times in 7,296 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I came out to my 2 daughters first because they asked me why my girlfriend-my first "real" one, slept in my bed with me and why we were kissing. They must have been 7 and almost 6.

I said I loved her. They said OK. it did not bother them until they were pre-teens and knew what it really meant. Then it upset them because they wanted a hetero family like most of their friends. By the time they were in their late teens, they thought it was cool.

Then I told my brothers. They were 19 & 13. Neither cared until I told my parents and then all hell broke loose. WWIII freakout on mom's part. She did not talk to me for 15 years and my bros saw my rejection by our parents and didn't want any part of it so they sided with mom & dad joined in. I understand that, really.

One time, just a major coincidence, one year that my long-term butch and I were vacationing in Hawaii and we were in a store and who should walk by but my mother! My parents were there @ the same time. She walked right by me. I turned around and said: "Mom!" but she kept on walking! Yes, she saw and heard me.

Not invited to my brothers weddings as they got older or any family function. My girls also were rejected.

Now that they are in their 80's, it is an uneasy peace. They ask me zero about my life and do not want to hear anything about my being gay whatsoever. I accept them as they are as they are too old to change now.

My brothers both live out of state and we rarely speak.

The Waltons-we are not.
__________________
~Anya~


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parentsí actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2011, 07:24 PM   #5
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 
LeftWriteFemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,569
Thanks: 2,514
Thanked 12,297 Times in 5,180 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Today I was teasing the owner of the gallery where my work is represented, telling her that if it weren't for the fact that I'm gay and she's straight I would rub her til all her lupus pain went away......we both laughed. Then she said, "Oh isn't today National Coming Out Day?" and we laughed and laughed some more....she is one of those cool straight people. It's been a nice coming out day
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2011, 11:49 PM   #6
Starbuck
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Soft Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Unavailable
 
Starbuck's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 2,436
Thanks: 3,378
Thanked 2,148 Times in 755 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
Starbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST ReputationStarbuck Has the BEST Reputation
Talking NCOD 2011

Last November I came out to my dad first, he took it rather awkwardly, which is how I expected him to. Later I told my mother; she said she was not surprised and that she'd told my dad when I went into the Army she thought I was a Lesbian.

Fast forward almost a year and my dad and I have gotten into some pretty bad arguments about me letting his family know because he said it was an embarrassment to him (the stuff on FB he said). I tend to think he's just embarrassed of me, oh well...his loss. I'm still waiting on the shit to hit the fan on this one!

But today being NCOD 2011, I took the opportunity to share my lesbian status with the rest of the family that I'm connected to on FB. I've not received any messages from them and quite frankly I don't expect to. I have, however, received accepting and supportive messages from other FB friends. My post included the fact that if my declaration cost me family or friends, so be it, we
weren't true family or friends in the first place, but that I still loved them. I am out to my husband, I just wish some things were different at the moment. I keep telling myself that the grass on the other side of the fence may not be as green as it looks and so I'm afraid of upsetting the status quo. I just need more time to get things sorted out in my head first. Wish me luck!
__________________
To forgive is to set the prisoner free,
And then discover the prisoner was you.
Starbuck is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Starbuck For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2011, 01:51 AM   #7
GrŠinne
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Neither, nada, out of the box
Preferred Pronoun?:
My name always works
Relationship Status:
Happy whatever happens
 
GrŠinne's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Little Rock
Posts: 1,755
Thanks: 1,860
Thanked 6,946 Times in 1,365 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
GrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST ReputationGrŠinne Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I decided to come out to my best friend, who lives in another state and who I thought had no clue what I was doing on a B-F site, or any lesbian site for that matter. Up to then, I'd told her everything that was going on, and this felt like a whole secret life.

I said, "K, I have something to tell you. I realized I am gay". She answered, "I thought so all these years (45 years of friendship!), but didn't want to pry". K is devoutly Catholic, and I'm Jewish, but that and my being gay doesn't make one iota of difference.

When I started attending the synagogue I go to now, I wanted to tell the rabbi so that if he had some objection, he could get it out and I could keep searching. I said, "There's something you need to know. I'm..not straight". His answer? "I knew that's what you were going to say". I found later I wasn't alone.
__________________
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck
GrŠinne is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to GrŠinne For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2011, 03:07 AM   #8
Soft*Silver
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Married
 
Soft*Silver's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: rose cottage
Posts: 5,139
Thanks: 7,582
Thanked 14,604 Times in 3,643 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
Soft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I came out, differently, this year. I had pidgeon holed myself into categories that I thought were flexible but were really just substitutes for other rigid labels I was born into. I think over the years, I just wore my labels down like you do leather..rub and rub and rub until the hardness softens..(my name!)...and what comes along eventually is something so much easier to wear.
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
Soft*Silver is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Soft*Silver For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2011, 05:33 AM   #9
princessbelle
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6,100
Thanks: 29,380
Thanked 30,515 Times in 5,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
princessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputationprincessbelle Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I came out to my mom first because she is nosey and i knew she would pick up on it anyway. My longtime partner had lived as my roommate for just a couple of weeks. It was not good. My mom is a Southern Baptist Republican and wears each one of those titles to her core. I was disowned and written out of her will and she did not speak to me for 6 months. When she figured out she needed me, she called and we talked. That was 12 years ago. She still don't really "get it" but i'm her daughter again and back in her will and good graces. She is also kind to my partners and treats them like family. She's come a long way.

Coming out to my kids was way easier. I waited about a year till they were 13 and 16. Until then they just saw my partner as our roommate and we did not show SOA in front of them. My youngest, middle of the road republican son didn't like it but just basically chose to ignor it. My oldest, liberal democratic son, said he knew it and was proud. He had a shirt that said "my mom is gay and i'm proud of her". I was particular about where he wore that...lol.

I've came out increasingly over the years to my friends and specific people at work including my boss who is wonderful and accepting. My aunts/uncles and the like have no clue. I will probably keep it that way.

My brother knew before he passed and was fine with it. My father passed prior to me coming out to myself but i know his princess could do no wrong and is smiling down on me and my life.

It takes a lot of time, often, for family members to come around. I try and convey that with every opportunity that i get when i know younger people are coming out to their family.

Just give them the info....give it a few months to sink in and don't take their confusion and disappointment to heart. Most of the time, things change.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~
Maya Angelou
princessbelle is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to princessbelle For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2011, 10:44 AM   #10
Hollylane
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
.
Preferred Pronoun?:
.
Relationship Status:
.
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,370 Times in 5,874 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855
Hollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST ReputationHollylane Has the BEST Reputation
Default

A few weeks ago, I came out to a very religious male co-worker...He said,

"God loves diversity"

I said,

"I'm pretty certain God loves you for realizing that"

Sweet!
Hollylane is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Hollylane For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2011, 11:52 AM   #11
Tawse
Member

How Do You Identify?:
TG Gender Queer
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
Relationship Status:
Married
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 730
Thanks: 2,973
Thanked 2,749 Times in 646 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
Tawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST ReputationTawse Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

My coming out was rather traumatic lol.

I was 21 at the time (1991) - unemployed and living part time with my mom and part time with a really good friend whom I considered my older sister.

I had the realization that I was in love with one of my best friends, and she with I... we decided to act on those feelings after an all night conversation about the ramifications etc. We decided to keep it to ourselves until we grew comfortable with the situation.

Three days later my mom found a letter we had exchanged, one that was actually completely innocent - but she read everything into it and confronted me.

Now when I say confronted I should clarify. She lured me would be more accurate. For 3 hours she talked about how if I were in a relationship with Kimm I should just tell her, it was no big deal, etc etc Finally I caved and admitted it.

She exploded. For the rest of the evening she yelled and screamed. Called my really good friend who I lived with part time - and told her. (she ended up kicking me out). The next day she called my Kimm's parents and told them.

Kimm and I were semi long distance. I lived in Atlanta and she went to college about 2 hours out - and her parents lived 2 hours out on the completely opposite side of the city. This was a good thing as her father threatened to shoot me if I came near their house again. (I didn't for quite a while, opting instead to visit her at college)

My mom called me an abomination, said she wished she'd had an abortion - and everything else she could think of to sling at me.

It was a shit storm for close to a year...



Fast forward to about 9 years ago. My younger brother came out. Since then my mom has thought being gay is just uber cool and the best thing since sliced bread.


I guess you take it where you can get it.


And as everyone else has stated - that is just one story... slightly traumatic lol
Tawse is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Tawse For This Useful Post:
Old 10-13-2011, 12:30 AM   #12
Soft*Silver
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Married
 
Soft*Silver's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: rose cottage
Posts: 5,139
Thanks: 7,582
Thanked 14,604 Times in 3,643 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
Soft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST ReputationSoft*Silver Has the BEST Reputation
Default

coming out to my daughter was not an issue. She was wee when I started dating females. She was coloring at the kitchen table when I told her I was going to start dating women, like our friend Cheryl did. She didnt even look up when she asked me, "like Lani?" yep, I said. She kept coloring and told me she liked Lani.

Now at the age of 27, over the years when i date someone she asks me this:"are they male or female, and were they born that way?" Talk about asking for a legacy in a nutshell! And she only really wants to know so she can be sensitive about it.

kids, when expected to grasp socialization of values, will. As long as you do first and along with them....
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
Soft*Silver is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Soft*Silver For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2017, 08:08 PM   #13
lisa93
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: maryland
Posts: 31
Thanks: 0
Thanked 20 Times in 10 Posts
Rep Power: 2
lisa93 is on a distinguished road
Default

I never got to come out, I was more so outed, which was hard
lisa93 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to lisa93 For This Useful Post:
Old 10-17-2017, 07:15 PM   #14
Mel C.
Long-time Member

How Do You Identify?:
WIB - woman identified butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Your choice...not really a button for me
Relationship Status:
♡ engaged ♡
 
Mel C.'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: San Diego
Posts: 1,984
Thanks: 5,488
Thanked 6,275 Times in 1,476 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847
Mel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST ReputationMel C. Has the BEST Reputation
Default bump even though it's a bit late

So, I was 16 or 17 and was driving my dad somewhere. For some unknown reason, he pops open the glove compartment. Inside the glove compartment were library books about homosexuality. I quickly slammed the glove compartment shut, but he just opened it right back up and asked me if I was a homosexual. I said the books belonged to a friend, which may have been true (I remember going to the library together but I don't remember which one of us had the courage to check the books out). Regardless, a lecture about homosexuality and how it was okay for friends and acquaintances but NOT for their daughter ensued. Over the next few years, I became more accepting of myself. I even co-founded a lesbian sorority. While I was in college, I brought the subject up with my parents again and said I was gay. There was some disappointment, but no big negative reaction. Today, I make no effort to hide the fact that I am gay.
Mel C. is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Mel C. For This Useful Post:
Old 10-17-2017, 07:19 PM   #15
girl_dee
Creole Baby

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
dee
Relationship Status:
♡ Foreverly ♡
 
girl_dee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Love Shack Baby
Posts: 23,213
Thanks: 29,357
Thanked 54,037 Times in 13,553 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869
girl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputation
Default

*subscribing*

Thank you for bumping this thread that i could not find !

i want to hear these stories.
__________________
,
,
,
,
,

Join the Holiday Card Exchange here!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
girl_dee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post:
Old 10-19-2017, 04:05 PM   #16
girl_dee
Creole Baby

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
dee
Relationship Status:
♡ Foreverly ♡
 
girl_dee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Love Shack Baby
Posts: 23,213
Thanks: 29,357
Thanked 54,037 Times in 13,553 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869
girl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputation
Default

i came out in my 30ís.. i peeked out in my 20s but i flew back into the closet.

i was so afraid i was going to lose my family, but it was the opposite.
__________________
,
,
,
,
,

Join the Holiday Card Exchange here!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
girl_dee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post:
Old 10-19-2017, 05:40 PM   #17
MsTinkerbelly
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Married 7/3/08, Together 17 years <3
 
MsTinkerbelly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mesa, Arizona
Posts: 6,259
Thanks: 28,779
Thanked 21,981 Times in 4,753 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
MsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

I came out at the age of 38, chucking aside a perfectly fine marriage with a perfectly fine man. Except it all was a lie.

My Dad passed away before I could tell him, and my mom said ďoh, okĒ. My sister was furious and didnít speak to me for weeks...she finally told me that she was upset because I hadnít told her sooner that I was living a lie.

No one in my family cared one way or the other, in fact I have a lesbian cousin who came out before I did.

I really feel badly for all of you who did not have support from the very people who were supposed to have your backs no matter what.
MsTinkerbelly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MsTinkerbelly For This Useful Post:
Old 10-19-2017, 06:15 PM   #18
Kštzchen
~*~*~*~*~

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 
Kštzchen's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pearly Skies
Posts: 12,466
Thanks: 38,173
Thanked 23,789 Times in 7,566 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857
Kštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST ReputationKštzchen Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Oh...gosh, it's been an long and winding road for me.

Two school aged friends, Ingrid (from school) and Marv-a (from church).... we nearly always were doing something together and our families knew each other, but none of us had any vocabulary or exposure in social ways to put an finger on it, until probably in our high school years.

We all knew we were different from others in our social groups at school or at church.

My two friends came out during their early 20s.....I don't think I came out until I was in my late 20s, early 30s.

I felt safe among trusted friends, but my family was furious with me. Years later, my youngest brother who is nearly 15 years younger (the baby of the family) was gay since day one. By the time he came out about being gay, my family readily accepted his being gay. Not so, for me tho.

I've created my own supportive set of family and friends, so I'm not dependent on acceptance by members of my natural birth family.

Interestingly, my friend Marv-a and her partner have been together for a few years now, but we've been friends since 2nd grade and still very close after all these years. Ingrid died from Brain cancer a few years ago, but we were very close from 1st grade to 12th grade. Ingrid is survived by her only partner who lives in the bay area.

Of the three of us, I'd say Ingrid was accepted first by her family, but Marv-a didn't find acceptance from her family readily, nor did I.

Sometimes, it feels like I come out more often than I would like to, but I'm grateful for acceptance by chosen family and friends. They've been my lifeline all these years, particularly my childhood friend who lives in Kansas.
Kštzchen is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Kštzchen For This Useful Post:
Old 10-20-2017, 04:21 AM   #19
girl_dee
Creole Baby

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
dee
Relationship Status:
♡ Foreverly ♡
 
girl_dee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Love Shack Baby
Posts: 23,213
Thanks: 29,357
Thanked 54,037 Times in 13,553 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869
girl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputationgirl_dee Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly View Post
I came out at the age of 38, chucking aside a perfectly fine marriage with a perfectly fine man. Except it all was a lie.

My Dad passed away before I could tell him, and my mom said “oh, ok”. My sister was furious and didn’t speak to me for weeks...she finally told me that she was upset because I hadn’t told her sooner that I was living a lie.

No one in my family cared one way or the other, in fact I have a lesbian cousin who came out before I did.

I really feel badly for all of you who did not have support from the very people who were supposed to have your backs no matter what.

i agree. Support would make SUCH a difference!

i did the whole marriage/family thing too, trying to *fix my gay*. It was a sad attempt to prove that normal families do exist and i was going to create one (never works!). Also to prove to myself and the world that i was not gay (never works) .. by the time i came out i was such a mess i cannot even explain how bad it was. i feel bad that i brought two human beings into the world in my attempt to make things right in my head, even though they are amazing human beings.

While i LOVE the family that i did create, i wish i would have felt i had more options, like to just be gay. My path would have been so much different.

i knew since i was a young girl i was different, and tried to fix myself in all the wrong ways.



__________________
,
,
,
,
,

Join the Holiday Card Exchange here!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
girl_dee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post:
Old 10-23-2017, 04:49 AM   #20
Esme nha Maire
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Tomboyish eccentric antique femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her
Relationship Status:
single
 
Esme nha Maire's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 532
Thanks: 1,689
Thanked 1,691 Times in 444 Posts
Rep Power: 16089532
Esme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST ReputationEsme nha Maire Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Heh. I couldn't come out as female until I knew that transitioning was an option, which happened when I was 28. At that point I was still very naieve and confused about my sexuality, but assumed in my naievete that I'd end up a hetero woman. But my libido had faded to almost nothing a couple of years before, and didn't reawaken for another few years. When it did, to my great surprise, I realised I was at the very least waaaay more interested in women than in men. I did have some limited experiences with men, sufficient to prove to me that guys are not my thing, even though I can find some very charming. My first (and so far only) lesbian relationship was everything that I wanted of relationships - well, until we started to drift apart, anyway :-}

Coming out as lesbian was no big deal for me, though, it was greatly overshadowed by my being MTF, which has caused me far more problems. I like being lesbian, too, in and of itself - I've always felt great affinity for other women - it's just an absolute bastard being MTF with it. Or was back then, and I'm still trying to overcome some of the negatives from thirty years ago. I'm completely out, but struggling to actually find much of a lesbian scene to be out in!
Esme nha Maire is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Esme nha Maire For This Useful Post:
Reply

Tags
coming out, national coming out day

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:25 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018