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02-23-2011, 11:52 AM
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#1 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer 
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I am so QUEER!
QUEER
/kwɪər/ Show Spelled [kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun –adjective 1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice. 2.of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away. 3.not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer. 4.mentally unbalanced or deranged. 5.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive . a.homosexual. b.effeminate; unmanly. 6.Slang . bad, worthless, or counterfeit. –verb (used with object) 7.to spoil; ruin. 8.to put (a person) in a hopeless or disadvantageous situation as to success, favor, etc. 9.to jeopardize. –noun 10.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive . a homosexual, especially a male homosexual. 11.Slang . counterfeit money. —Idiom 12.queer the pitch, British Informal . to spoil the chances of success. Use queer in a Sentence See images of queer Search queer on the Web Origin: 1500–10; perhaps < German quer oblique, cross, adverse —Related forms queer·ly, adverb queer·ness, noun —Synonyms 1. unconventional, curious, freakish, eccentric, weird. See strange. —Antonyms 1. ordinary.  When I claimed the identity/label of queer several years ago I did it because of definition #1. I am not conventional and my viewpoint, especially as far as my sexuality goes varies from the norm. By norm, I mean in both the straight world and the homosexual world. I also chose it because of it's synonyms, which all describe me, and because of it's antonym, "ordinary", which is something I have never wanted to be. As far back as my memory goes I have been working to be anything but ordinary. I feel I've been successful in that endeavor. All the other definitions of queer pertain to me in some way if I'm being honest, and depending on who you ask. I don't consider myself shady, and try to be just the opposite. I do however, feel I am born from a questionable nature. I am the big rainbow phoenix that has dared to rise up from the dysfunctional ashes of my childhood. I am not physically right. I don't fit into societal norm of what beauty is. I am a queer fat femme-ish deviant. I may have a big ass, but honey, I have a big heart, and a big laugh, and I can rock my husband's world. It has taken me so many years to see my beauty, and to own it. I always thought if I loved myself as fat, then I would never lose weight. Self acceptance doesn't equal complacency. I still would like to lose some weight and be healthier. That is all that will happen to me though. I will be healthier. I will not be any more beautiful or more attractive to my husband. "Mentally Unbalanced"... again, if I'm being honest, actually, if we're all being honest, aren't we all just a little? I know I certainly have my days. "Disparaging"?? Ohferfuckssake! Of course I am disparaging. If you don't love the word fuck, if your tongue doesn't tingle the word fuck rolls off the tip of it, if you're ears don't perk when you hear spoken, then you probably won't enjoy my company. "Homosexual" Well, I am not a lesbian. I am married to a man. Right? However, I am married to a transsexual man. I could never, and would never be married to a biological man again. I was though for 13 years. I was then in a relationship with a woman for two. Then I found my soul mate, who as fate would have it, was a transman. I am married to man, so I must be straight then. Right? Wrong!! I am far from straight. Ask any of the friendly dancers at our favorite strip club how much I love a good lap dance. Ask my husband how "not straight" I am. As far as the last two, I may be effeminate, but that's a good thing, and I am certainly not worthless, and I'm not sure why that is even under the definition of queer. I think someone needs to rewrite that shit. For me, being queer isn't just my label, it's my identity. It's my total package wrapped up in a big rainbow flag. To me it is a powerful word. Nobody could ever use it against me in a negative way because I love it too much. So if you ID as Queer like I do, I'd love to hear from you. I searched the forums and didn't find any threads about this. So I hope I'm not stepping on any toes by starting this. I just thought we needed a place to have some big queer conversations about big queer issues or whatnot. This is probably my longest post ever. /post
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Suess http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/q...star_green.gif |
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02-23-2011, 12:32 PM
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#2 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme woman Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
solo 
 Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Florida
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Well I don't love it as much as you do, but queer is a good choice for me as well. I internally also identify as lesbian, but the life I live after 25 years of marriage to an FTM man is straight. After his death I spent three years trying to see if I could "stand" to be with a straight man - for my kids sake. Some of them (straight men) are fairly nice, but the thought of having sex with one kinda gagged me (so I never did.)
On impulse one night, I did a computer search for my peeps - the B-F community, and ended up first at the dash site and then here. While I have taken many small steps out of the closet I was in for many years, I still spend most of my life there because I still haven't talked to my kids about myself. But good news ... I'm no longer feeling like I might gag, LOL. Call me queer. Smooches, Keri |
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02-23-2011, 12:51 PM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
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i'm a girl Relationship Status:
negative 
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my granny started calling me queer (she pronounced it "quaar") when i was pretty young. Even back then, i kinda liked the label.
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02-23-2011, 12:55 PM
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#4 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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I know for a fact one thing. I am femme. No doubts in my mind at all.
I used to also identify as gay. Now not so much. I date FTMs or Trans so gay doesn't for me, work very good anymore. I've never ID'd as lesbian. I like the name queer, but i've never IDed that way. Thank you for stating your convictions and for all the good info. Good thread.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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02-23-2011, 01:36 PM
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#5 |
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Joy Seeker
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Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess Relationship Status:
Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 
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Queer here as well. It's the only label that really truly fits me. S, that was a rocking, kick-ass, fucking amazing post. I now worship you. I'll be back.
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02-23-2011, 02:37 PM
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#6 |
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Practically Lives Here
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Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up 
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Queer here!
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02-23-2011, 04:19 PM
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#7 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
spiritually minded dirt dog 
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Thanks for starting this thread. I have never really understood the use of the term/label queer. I have read what has been posted when I find it. So, I am here for an education.
Thanks for attempting to edumacate me.....
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Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Muriel Strode |
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02-23-2011, 04:35 PM
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#8 |
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Pink Confection
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Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself 
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I identify as Dyke (right now)...lol...but wanted to say I love your post and thoughts on the subject!
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02-23-2011, 05:26 PM
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#9 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transsexual Man Preferred Pronoun?:
Male Relationship Status:
Married to The Woman of My Dreams <3 
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Another queer checking in! Great idea for a thread sweetie!
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02-23-2011, 05:51 PM
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#10 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
human 
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i was gay... then i was queer...
lately i have moved to being a big ol homo... i love the look on peeps faces when i say it... |
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02-23-2011, 06:07 PM
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#11 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer
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Location: Minnesota
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Thanks to everyone who has popped in and contributed to the convo. I love me some queers!
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Suess http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/q...star_green.gif |
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02-23-2011, 06:16 PM
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#12 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Girly Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Miss Pink Relationship Status:
Shacked UP 
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 Present. |
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02-23-2011, 06:40 PM
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#13 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Babydoll is a start.... Relationship Status:
Mrs. Livingston 4/20/2013
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Location: Nashville where my heart belongs...
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I have been told more than once I wasn't a lesbian...I think I AM queer though...
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"Slow to trust but I'm quick to love, I push too hard and I give too much, I aint saying I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it" "The Good Within Me Honors The Good Within You"
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02-23-2011, 09:10 PM
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#14 |
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Joy Seeker
How Do You Identify?:
Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess Relationship Status:
Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14
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It's difficult for me to explain why Queer works better for me than any other label. Part of my explanation would involve why I ruled the others out but then that tends to make people feel as if I'm putting their choices down or negating them somehow.
So for me, my Queer identity revolves around who I partner with. I'm still Queer if I'm single. I'm still me and that is who I am. Gah. LOL I'm finding it very difficult to voice this. Oh hell. I'm here. I'm Queer. Let's go shopping. |
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02-23-2011, 09:14 PM
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#15 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
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I'm as Queer as a 3 dollar bill. And a little bit giddy too.
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02-23-2011, 09:19 PM
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#16 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?:
Hey boy!!! Relationship Status:
counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009
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i never claimed queer...queer claimed me!!!
i was born this way!!! 
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02-23-2011, 09:28 PM
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#17 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
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Quote:
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02-23-2011, 10:24 PM
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#18 | |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme woman Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
solo
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Location: Central Florida
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Quote:
I must say i love the "big ol homo" thing too. I'd love to be there to see you use it. Smooches, Keri |
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02-24-2011, 03:44 AM
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#19 |
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Junior Member
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Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He/hy Relationship Status:
Ridiculous 
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Queer here!
Can't explain me to myself let alone to you. What a joyous rollercoaster ride it's been. :
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Jo More ! Scholar/Poet/Lover/Warrior   
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02-24-2011, 07:55 AM
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#20 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Male pronouns Relationship Status:
Relationship 
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Location: Canada
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Queer is pretty much the only existing word I know of that comes close to describing my sexual orientation, lol. I've never been a lesbian (though I've always loved women
 ), but for some time I thought maybe I was some kind of heterosexual (since I am a guy that likes women). But that doesn't make sense to me. Even though I'm a guy who likes girls I don't feel that term fits me. I could see that fitting if I was into strictly dating straight girls like some transguys and male ids do, but considering that my preference is for queer femmes or femmes somewhere in the LGBT (or...I guess...LBT...Q? Technically? lol) spectrum...hetero doesn't make sense. Plus, who the hell is even properly heterosexual anymore? j/k 
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