Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > The Butch Zone

The Butch Zone For all things "Butch"

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-21-2016, 12:17 PM   #101
Cin
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Truly Madly Deeply
 
2 Highscores

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: In My Head
Posts: 2,805
Thanks: 6,326
Thanked 10,622 Times in 2,488 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851
Cin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST ReputationCin Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyte View Post
Sure

So, my half joking swear-off from bi's and straight women twenty years ago became permanent. No offense intended to anyone. You be you and I'll be me.

Simply put... I just find it unnecessary or worth the potential hassle that can come from it. There are plenty of wonderful lesbian women out there who share my culture ... my history... my experiences...etc... etc... which puts us much closer being on the same page than does straight or bi women.


EDIT: p.s. I'm assuming by "straight" we mean first-timers?
I absolutely agree that you be you and I'll be me.

In the interest of bisexuals though, I don't see them belonging lumped together with straight women. Half the time straight women don't belong lumped together with straight women.

But as far as straight women, I have had good and bad experiences so I totally get why someone might have a no dating policy when it comes to straight women. However, I have enjoyed a few wonderful relationships with bisexual women, relationships I am so grateful to have had. One in particular lasted over 6 years and taught me so much. The relationship taught me so much and the woman taught me even more. It would have been sad to have missed those experiences.

However, as you so aptly stated you be you and I'll be me. I just wanted to throw that out about bisexuality. Being bisexual is not the same as being heterosexual
__________________
The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their “facts.”
Neil Strauss
Cin is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Cin For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 12:21 PM   #102
JDeere
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Transgender
Preferred Pronoun?:
He/him/his
Relationship Status:
Single
 
JDeere's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 17,752
Thanks: 31,018
Thanked 28,873 Times in 9,718 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863
JDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Tick View Post
I absolutely agree that you be you and I'll be me.

In the interest of bisexuals though, I don't see them belonging lumped together with straight women. Half the time straight women don't belong lumped together with straight women.

But as far as straight women, I have had good and bad experiences so I totally get why someone might have a no dating policy when it comes to straight women. However, I have enjoyed a few wonderful relationships with bisexual women, relationships I am so grateful to have had. One in particular lasted over 6 years and taught me so much. The relationship taught me so much and the woman taught me even more. It would have been sad to have missed those experiences.

However, as you so aptly stated you be you and I'll be me. I just wanted to throw that out about bisexuality though. Being bisexual is not the same as being heterosexual
Thank you! My gf is bisexual and she doesn't like being lumped in with straight women.
JDeere is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to JDeere For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 01:22 PM   #103
Bubala
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lady Sunflower
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her
 
Bubala's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: San Fran
Posts: 844
Thanks: 463
Thanked 1,669 Times in 615 Posts
Rep Power: 9338275
Bubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Live and let others live. Let everyone be with whomever they choose to pursue, for whatever reason, reasons are theirs and theirs alone.

We all have our own sets of experience-based beliefs and prejudice, consciously or unconsciously driven predispositions to time after time choose a certain type, for whatever that "type" may be.
__________________
When life turns its back on you....grab its ass
Bubala is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Bubala For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 01:52 PM   #104
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,784 Times in 4,469 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but there are a lot of negative stereotypes about bisexuals that get perpetuated and that is not cool.

I prefer to be with a lesbian or queer-identified femme (which could definitely include a woman who is bisexual), but everyone has their own identity and personal journey they are on, so I stay open. Some women do come out later in life.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 02:28 PM   #105
Lyte
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Meh... I'm not very particular about this.
Relationship Status:
Single
 
Lyte's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The south... bleh!
Posts: 1,744
Thanks: 5,316
Thanked 5,113 Times in 1,504 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
Lyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I agree x four!

If not straight as in first timers, what then?
Lyte is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lyte For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 02:55 PM   #106
Bubala
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lady Sunflower
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her
 
Bubala's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: San Fran
Posts: 844
Thanks: 463
Thanked 1,669 Times in 615 Posts
Rep Power: 9338275
Bubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST ReputationBubala Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Every generalization leads to stereotyping, and in my humble opinion generalizing (whether we infer it to be positive or negative in its nature) always harms its subject, as it invokes unfair judgment through a biased lens.

Coming out has nothing to do with who or what one is. The question of "outness" pertains to one's public transparency about their most inner self, that they may or may not feel compelled to advertize.

One's sexual orientation thus remains a unique personal state advertised or not.

I am a woman who has always loved butches. I have never been with a bio man ever - don't get me wrong I am by no means proud of myself over this fact, in fact I spent years being shamed by friends and acquaintances within our own community, telling me how I don't "really" knowing who I am because I haven't "tried it all"...

Speaking of out I have been outed by , at the time, self proclaimed "bisexual" friend in collage. It took me years to wash my brain off of the harsh biases earned by this one incident. Strangers always assume that I am straight, yet I know that this is my life, I CANNOT for the love of g-d I cannot change who I am, I wish I could , life would have been so much easier now wouldn't it? At the time of my wonderful outing, I felt such deep sense of betrayal by a friend who at the time chose to ID as "bisexual" / bi-curious? maybe... I felt like, oh nice you can hang out here while it's cool, then when things get though you can run right back across that bridge and watch us burn!? I cannot do that, this is my life, this is the one life I live and one skin I have, I cannot shed it, no matter how hard I might try... This does not reflect my current state of mind, I am using the narration above solely as a stylistic tool. Anyways decades later , that "friend" is happily married to a man, has a wonderful suburban home two kids and a dog and is, wait for it... a devoted Christian anti-lgbt activist! Who would have guessed it? Ha!

On the other hand I am still here holding my butch tightly, when we travel through hostile places around the world, or at home. Political and social struggle continues, few battles might have been won but the war is not over yet, for any basic human rights, we are far away from social freedom. Do I worry about my own safety, maybe, at times, I "pass" as straight, ppl assume, ppl cannot guess, what they don't know cannot hurt me, it's fine. However, I am not the one who walks around with a huge target on my forehead, my butch and all the butches out there are. This is my personal experience, around the world butches are the prime object of hate, as they represent a direct threat to misogynist patriarchal society... Anyways that's a digression so back to the subject.

Now, I am aware of my own biases, it took me years to wash my brain off of generalized notion that all of "them" "bi-curiours" people are simply "undecided" "explorers". Just because my former friend from collage was a person of certain character flaws, this does not mean that "all of them" are!
I am sure that every butch and femme and queer and trans and any which kind of human out there has their own negative experience and their own story. Maybe just maybe negativity can be an exception and positivity could be a rule?

Let's liberate ourslves from this "us" versus "them" predicament. We're all human, be who you are, do what and who you like, be happy, live and let others live!

I met many wonderful bi-sexual, pan-sexual and every which way sexual and asexual people out there, who for one reason or another may or may not fit the mold and are who they are, with no less integrity by any means than any other lesbian, gay, straight, queer, trans, bi, or whatever in -between, pink and polka dotted human alien person.

Love, peace and kind regards to all! <3
__________________
When life turns its back on you....grab its ass
Bubala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2016, 06:17 PM   #107
JDeere
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Transgender
Preferred Pronoun?:
He/him/his
Relationship Status:
Single
 
JDeere's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 17,752
Thanks: 31,018
Thanked 28,873 Times in 9,718 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863
JDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Generalizations lead to alienation. Imo that's why we as a community have a problem with the non gltbqi community. But back to this topic, don't lump bisexuals with heterosexual because 9 times out of 10 they don't appreciate being lumped.

Plus if you stick to your guns about not dating a bisexual woman, you may miss out on a wonderful partner.
JDeere is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JDeere For This Useful Post:
Old 08-21-2016, 06:29 PM   #108
Lyte
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Meh... I'm not very particular about this.
Relationship Status:
Single
 
Lyte's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The south... bleh!
Posts: 1,744
Thanks: 5,316
Thanked 5,113 Times in 1,504 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
Lyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyte View Post
I agree x four! If not straight as in first timers, what then?
My bad... i refreshed my memory re: the original post.

Straight women hold no particular fascination for me. I tend to find most women fascinating... particularly femmes, whether they be gay, straight, bi or anywhere in between.
Lyte is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lyte For This Useful Post:
Old 01-28-2017, 10:43 AM   #109
JDeere
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Transgender
Preferred Pronoun?:
He/him/his
Relationship Status:
Single
 
JDeere's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 17,752
Thanks: 31,018
Thanked 28,873 Times in 9,718 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863
JDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyte View Post
My bad... i refreshed my memory re: the original post.

Straight women hold no particular fascination for me. I tend to find most women fascinating... particularly femmes, whether they be gay, straight, bi or anywhere in between.
I second this!!!
JDeere is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JDeere For This Useful Post:
Old 01-28-2017, 01:03 PM   #110
Lyte
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Meh... I'm not very particular about this.
Relationship Status:
Single
 
Lyte's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The south... bleh!
Posts: 1,744
Thanks: 5,316
Thanked 5,113 Times in 1,504 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
Lyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST ReputationLyte Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I've thought it really the opposite. There is some... albeit tiny... basis in fact for every stereotype and it's from stereotyping that we begin to generalize.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubala View Post
Every generalization leads to stereotyping....
Lyte is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lyte For This Useful Post:
Old 10-02-2017, 10:12 PM   #111
Tuff Stuff
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch Woman
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Married
 
Tuff Stuff's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 695
Thanks: 904
Thanked 1,318 Times in 506 Posts
Rep Power: 9408452
Tuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST ReputationTuff Stuff Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Someone posted that straight women can be fun, but I would like to add that they can also be dangerous.The problem for me was that they were married..some with husbands and small children.I never once assumed that she loved me enough to run off and leave behind her family.I knew they were straight because they'd be the first one to break it off.I still had fun,i'm pretty sure they did.

I myself am not bi-sexual,but I am super curious about some people that I meet in my life and sometimes this leads (for me anyways) wanting more than friendship..no strings attached..and afterwards we can both remain being friends or, part and go on our merry way.
Tuff Stuff is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Tuff Stuff For This Useful Post:
Old 01-11-2018, 10:08 PM   #112
Kosmo
Member

How Do You Identify?:
just me
Preferred Pronoun?:
he
Relationship Status:
This seat is taken
 
Kosmo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Buckeye
Posts: 210
Thanks: 180
Thanked 274 Times in 119 Posts
Rep Power: 227088
Kosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST ReputationKosmo Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I find women attractive by the energy they give off, like my girlfriend. That gay, queer, femme, or 'other' energy that doesn't belong, ya know? So, for me, straight women do not possess this energy. I've never dated a non-homosexual woman. Have dated a closeted woman (did not last long).

I have cordial relationships with straight women; like friends and coworkers.
__________________
Kosmo (fka ZRider)
Kosmo is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kosmo For This Useful Post:
Old 01-31-2018, 07:57 PM   #113
butchgeek
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
butch
Relationship Status:
ISO geeky femme who can run this INTJ a bit
 

Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 13
Thanks: 7
Thanked 53 Times in 13 Posts
Rep Power: 644253
butchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputationbutchgeek Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I am naive maybe. How would I tell the difference between someone who is straight and perhaps experimenting, versus someone who is coming to terms with their identity later in life? I suppose time will tell. I haven’t been anyone’s first since high school, but I’ve fallen for someone...
butchgeek is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to butchgeek For This Useful Post:
Old 01-31-2018, 08:07 PM   #114
homoe
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Relationship Status:
.....
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,587 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889
homoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputationhomoe Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I had as similar experience as above!

When I worked at the video store I had a customer who seemed 'very friendly" , gave me a $25 gift certificate with a box of Fango mints for Christmas, and once sent me flowers for Easter. She always ended up in my check out line whenever she came to the store and would often ask me for movie recommendations. I was totally gaga for her but still I never perused things.

I was pretty sure she was involved with one of the assistant coaches for an NBA team so that always made me leary but it baffled me as well!

It remains a mystery to this day! If I had to guess, I would have to say she might of been exploring options later in life!
homoe is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to homoe For This Useful Post:
Old 01-31-2018, 08:11 PM   #115
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,784 Times in 4,469 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I would think getting to know someone and talking to them would make that clear, as well as whether the two of you were compatible and interested in each other in general. If not perhaps you will need to ask questions if it's something that is important to you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by butchgeek View Post
I am naive maybe. How would I tell the difference between someone who is straight and perhaps experimenting, versus someone who is coming to terms with their identity later in life? I suppose time will tell. I haven’t been anyone’s first since high school, but I’ve fallen for someone...
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 02-01-2018, 02:46 AM   #116
imperfect_cupcake
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
feminine dolly dyke
Preferred Pronoun?:
Your Grace
Relationship Status:
I put my own care first
 
imperfect_cupcake's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a gauze of mystery
Posts: 1,776
Thanks: 2,426
Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
imperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputation
Default

^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements.

But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation *shrug.*
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation:

"I like you'
"I don't think I'm butch enough for you!"
"I think you are hot"
"I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah"
"I think you are very sexy"
"but what do you consider butch."
*pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords*

I stopped doing that. I have now started saying

"I like you"
"yeah but am I butch enough?"
"If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?"

that usually stops it.

Just try.
imperfect_cupcake is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to imperfect_cupcake For This Useful Post:
Old 02-07-2018, 08:27 PM   #117
JDeere
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Transgender
Preferred Pronoun?:
He/him/his
Relationship Status:
Single
 
JDeere's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 17,752
Thanks: 31,018
Thanked 28,873 Times in 9,718 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863
JDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST ReputationJDeere Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I wonder if we took " straight"' out of its quotes and see what happens.

spaghetti is straight, till you boil it.
JDeere is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JDeere For This Useful Post:
Old 06-30-2018, 05:00 PM   #118
Gretchen 1965
Timed Out - Identity Issues

How Do You Identify?:
soft butch
 

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6
Thanks: 2
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 0
Gretchen 1965 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake View Post
^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements.

But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation *shrug.*
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation:

"I like you'
"I don't think I'm butch enough for you!"
"I think you are hot"
"I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah"
"I think you are very sexy"
"but what do you consider butch."
*pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords*

I stopped doing that. I have now started saying

"I like you"
"yeah but am I butch enough?"
"If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?"

that usually stops it.

Just try.
I am 53year old skinny short 5ft3 tall wrinkled face thin lips green eyes grayhaired soft butch single woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture. One of the things I've noticed over the years is that I'm always attracted to heterosexual tall curvy ultrafeminine women that I know are unavailable.

It's been a pattern since I was a teenager. There was this girl I was in lust (thought it was love then) with all through high school and I basically idolized her. The problem was I barely even spoke to her because I was so nervous around her. As a result I never really tried to date anybody else because I thought she was the one I was supposed to be with. Since i was a teenager I am more sexually attracted to heterosexual well endowed ultrafeminine tall curvy attractive women. They turn me on. All the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I just did what a lot of other dykes seem to do and adjust to what the market has to offer. Moreover, in the past I have scared women away for acting weird (nothing major or too weird) but enough where they weren’t interested in me. I am just not good at talking to women; I get tongue tied and am not confident. What do you think? have you ever felt the same way? Am I creepy? (yeah I guess so)I am basically looking if someone could help me to cope with this situation… I just don’t know what to do.

Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.I don’t know what it is, but ever since around high school heterosexual attractive tall curvy feminine females have been very uncomfortable around me.Does anyone relate to this or understand why straight women would get scared or creeped out or repulsed by someone so fast if they’re not really a rapist? Can it really be facial features alone (really ugly wrinkled face)? What kind of outward behaviour will make them creeped out or repulsed?I am short and skinny.it’s not like I randomly walk up to them and start touching their breasts or something. I at least know that that would be totally inappropriate. I am tiny short skinny 53year old masculine woman.I am not tough and strong. I am not intimidating.I am physically completely harmless.
Gretchen 1965 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2018, 07:37 AM   #119
Gemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
 
Gemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,583
Thanks: 182,144
Thanked 108,784 Times in 25,656 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887
Gemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen 1965 View Post
Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.I don’t know what it is, but ever since around high school heterosexual attractive tall curvy feminine females have been very uncomfortable around me.Does anyone relate to this or understand why straight women would get scared or creeped out or repulsed by someone so fast if they’re not really a rapist? Can it really be facial features alone (really ugly wrinkled face)? What kind of outward behaviour will make them creeped out or repulsed?I am short and skinny.it’s not like I randomly walk up to them and start touching their breasts or something. I at least know that that would be totally inappropriate. I am tiny short skinny 53year old masculine woman.I am not tough and strong. I am not intimidating.I am physically completely harmless.
You mentioned that you feel awkward sometimes. That feeling will show in your mannerisms and behavior and that could be off-putting for some people. Also, if you are hyper-focused on a woman, that can be intense and concerning for someone, regardless of your physical presentation.

I'm not sure what you mean by "not really a rapist". Can you elaborate?
__________________


I'm misunderestimated.
Gemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post:
Old 07-01-2018, 10:50 AM   #120
Gretchen 1965
Timed Out - Identity Issues

How Do You Identify?:
soft butch
 

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6
Thanks: 2
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 0
Gretchen 1965 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
You mentioned that you feel awkward sometimes. That feeling will show in your mannerisms and behavior and that could be off-putting for some people. Also, if you are hyper-focused on a woman, that can be intense and concerning for someone, regardless of your physical presentation.

I'm not sure what you mean by "not really a rapist". Can you elaborate?
I still find it difficult to be normal around tall well endowed curvy heterosexual feminine women. I feel immensely attracted even standing next to tall,curvy, feminine women. Has anyone dealt with this? For me the, taller a woman the better. If there's a tall feminine woman who's busty and is showing a generous amount of cleavage, well my brain just gets hypnotized by them. Its like I can't focus on her face, my eyes lock on to them like magnets. I've had this problem for a long time (since high school) it probably comes about because of my sexual frustration but I constantly find my eyes darting down to tall curvy female's breasts and butts when I'm talking to them or just pass them.
Its real embarrassing, I feel like I'm some lewd perv but there's no conscious thought, my eyes just lock on to them without my control. Its just tall well endowed curvy ultrafeminine women, not skinny, overweight or short women. My other problem is all the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I am ugly. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I will take long drives and just think about how sad my life is, how lonely I have become, the things I regret, and what I could have done differently. I do this a few times a week, drive and cry. It makes me feel better momentarily.

I haven't been happy in years, I don't see any signs of it getting any better. I see most people getting excited for the weekend, but for me, I get depressed. I have no girlfriend. I have no one. I have friends, and I have had girlfriends and a long term (12 years) relationship, but only because people tend to like me when they get to know me. I've never received compliments on my looks. It's like my whole life is a struggle because of this. I never feel great or like a winner. I keep no pictures of myself. Sometimes I'll take some with my laptop's webcam or my cellphone, and when I look at them it's really painful. I've taken pictures from every angle and every single one of them looks terrible.

And the problem is that I can't stand to be in any type of relationship anymore because of that. I'm 53 now and the last time I went on a date was 2 years ago. Some feminine lesbian women I've known for a while seem attracted to me, flirt or invite me to activities, but I remember how they looked at me the first time they saw me, and it just kills it for me. Maybe I'm vain and shallow. I know this sounds perverted. Like, just, I always have to hold back urges to just touch some tall curvy women breasts or butt. I just get urges to reach out and grope breasts, or slap their butts, or whatever.
Gretchen 1965 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:31 AM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018