Things you should never say on a date.

[cinnamongrrl]

This thread is like visual crack In a good way!

[JAGG]

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.

Oh my back is really giving me problems today. You don't happen to have any pain killers laying around you aren't using do you ?

[princessbelle]

This could also be right up there with the worst first date in history. When i was a teenager, i went out on a blind date with a friend of a friend. He had had way too many beers and i had to pull over so he could relieve himself. The entire night was a disaster, but here is the one liner, from that first date, that would be appropriate for this thread...

"Hey, look over here. I peed your name in the snow."

And to make it worse, he was really proud.

[JAGG]

I'm glad you're driving , because I'm already wasted.

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.

Oh my back is really giving me problems today. You don't happen to have any pain killers laying around you aren't using do you ?

Omg JAGG, I forgot which thread I was reading, and in my head I'm screaming

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


Imagine My relief when I realized YOU were NOT saying those terrible things ...

[Sweet Bliss]

" yes I have back problems, but that has never stopped me from having sex."

Wait for it......

"No, my back hurts, no can't do that either, I'll tense up and the pain will get worse. "

Note to potential suitor, if your back hurts, and you can't /won't be intimate, get a dog.

[Queenie]

''I still am living with my partner.''

''Are you going to finish your dinner?'' While you are STILL eating your dinner!

[JAGG]

So tell me a little about your friend (insert name) I think she's hot is she single?

[Cin]

I had forgotten this. This date was years ago, I mean years, when I still dated men. A friend fixed me up with her boyfriend’s cousin. We all went to the beach and I guess things were going along okay until the guy starts telling me how great he is at holding his breath. I’m like okay wonderful.

He keeps going on about it. So I offer to watch him (I figure guys like that) or time him (I know little kids love it when you time their exploits, maybe he does too.) I’m struggling cause truthfully I don’t really know what he wants me to do with this information. I’m thinking so you can hold your breath for a long time, it’s not the most useful talent in the world unless you are a free diver or dive for abalone or something.

Apparently the point is to dazzle us with his ability by challenging us to a breath-holding contest and beating us badly. He wants us all to go in the water, dive down around the rocks, grab on and stay down as long as we can. I’m thinking to myself, I hope this guy can really hold his breath a long time or he’s gong to be very disappointed. I love snorkeling and often do a bit of free diving when I’m out because it allows me to go down deeper and get a closer look around and I can seriously hold my breath. I try to tell the guy this, just letting him know that I might have an unfair advantage cause of all the breath holding practice I’ve had. He’s not impressed and isn’t having any of it. He thinks I’m trying to psyche him out or something.

Anyway off we go, I dive down grab a rock and a seat and I don’t come up until I really have to. I have no idea how much I beat him by, although my friend told me later it was a painfully long time. He was so pissed off he didn’t even look at me the rest of what became a rather truncated version of an afternoon at the beach. He just hung out with his cousin until we left. As he’s getting in his car he turns to me and says “Just a word of advice, guys don’t like it when you try to act like you are better than them. You really should act more like a girl.” I so wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I said “And you think acting like a girl would prevent someone from being better than you are? Anyway I don’t have to act like I’m better than you, that’s for sure.” I never saw him again. And that was too soon. Asshole. Thank god I figured out I'm a butch and I love femmes. That worked out ever so much better. Not that straight guys have cornered the market in what not to say on a first date. As this thread aptly illustrates.

[deb_U_taunt]

'I think I hooked up with one of your friends.'

[agape]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.

Personally, I'd be happy having someone tell me that...

But the rest of this thread makes me like not... want... to date... ever.. again...

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I had forgotten this. This date was years ago, I mean years, when I still dated men. A friend fixed me up with her boyfriend’s cousin. We all went to the beach and I guess things were going along okay until the guy starts telling me how great he is at holding his breath. I’m like okay wonderful.

He keeps going on about it. So I offer to watch him (I figure guys like that) or time him (I know little kids love it when you time their exploits, maybe he does too.) I’m struggling cause truthfully I don’t really know what he wants me to do with this information. I’m thinking so you can hold your breath for a long time, it’s not the most useful talent in the world unless you are a free diver or dive for abalone or something.

Apparently the point is to dazzle us with his ability by challenging us to a breath-holding contest and beating us badly. He wants us all to go in the water, dive down around the rocks, grab on and stay down as long as we can. I’m thinking to myself, I hope this guy can really hold his breath a long time or he’s gong to be very disappointed. I love snorkeling and often do a bit of free diving when I’m out because it allows me to go down deeper and get a closer look around and I can seriously hold my breath. I try to tell the guy this, just letting him know that I might have an unfair advantage cause of all the breath holding practice I’ve had. He’s not impressed and isn’t having any of it. He thinks I’m trying to psyche him out or something.

Anyway off we go, I dive down grab a rock and a seat and I don’t come up until I really have to. I have no idea how much I beat him by, although my friend told me later it was a painfully long time. He was so pissed off he didn’t even look at me the rest of what became a rather truncated version of an afternoon at the beach. He just hung out with his cousin until we left. As he’s getting in his car he turns to me and says “Just a word of advice, guys don’t like it when you try to act like you are better than them. You really should act more like a girl.” I so wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I said “And you think acting like a girl would prevent someone from being better than you are? Anyway I don’t have to act like I’m better than you, that’s for sure.” I never saw him again. And that was too soon. Asshole. Thank god I figured out I'm a butch and I love femmes. That worked out ever so much better. Not that straight guys have cornered the market in what not to say on a first date. As this thread aptly illustrates.

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

[macele]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

Cheryl, you are not alone. my mind went there.

[macele]

Originally Posted by princessbelle

This could also be right up there with the worst first date in history. When i was a teenager, i went out on a blind date with a friend of a friend. He had had way too many beers and i had to pull over so he could relieve himself. The entire night was a disaster, but here is the one liner, from that first date, that would be appropriate for this thread...

"Hey, look over here. I peed your name in the snow."

And to make it worse, he was really proud.

i actually thought this was cool LOLOL. you all please don't tell anyone i typed that.

i like to make sandwiches and draw stuff on the bread with the mustard bottle. for a use to be gf, i would draw the first letter of her name on the bread and lick it off. she got a kick out of that. made her giggle LOL.

too funny. thanks for sharing, princessbelle.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

[macele]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

[Chancie]

"If I wore a short dress, a wig, and some Lee Press Ons, I bet I'd get more sympathy after my last breakup."

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by macele

i actually thought this was cool LOLOL. you all please don't tell anyone i typed that.

i like to make sandwiches and draw stuff on the bread with the mustard bottle. for a use to be gf, i would draw the first letter of her name on the bread and lick it off. she got a kick out of that. made her giggle LOL.

too funny. thanks for sharing, princessbelle.

That's why you rawk macele!!!!!!

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by macele

i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

huh. interesting. we did a contest in school with holding breaths, a class of 50, last term. I won. by a chunk of time. And I know I've got skillz. so maybe they *are* related??

I certainly know I've had to hold my breath at points in time for it...

Chancie: wow. what bell-end. that's spectacular....

"I think I hooked up with your friend"
um. that would probably be me too... but I think I'd keep that to myself to a few more dates in....

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

Umm, uhh... perhaps someone with first hand knowledge would like to weigh in on this?